CURSED 1

WHAT IS HE

***PENELOPE’S P.O.V***

I was just looking around. I looked at other places and then had to go to the principals' office for the competition,

I went there and then I got bumped into someone. I looked at him. He was the one whom I met that day.

But then, as he saw me, he just ignored me and then left Devin. Is he Devin? But if he is the one, then why did he ignore me and then just left? Why did he do that?

Should I go behind him? No I should not. I took a deep breath and then composed myself. No, I should not be going behind him. I went to the principal's principal's office and then felt the form for competition. I just could not stop thinking about him.

Then I went to the cafeteria where Myra and Christine were sitting “so you filled out the form.”

“Form for what?”

“Dance competition.”

“Ohh that is great. I would also like to participate. Andy is gonna be so happy that I am taking part in the competition.” I looked at Myra and then we both laughed. We both knew this very well. That Christine is far far away from this thing.

“Wait, why are you both laughing?”

“Cause I was imagining what a monkey would look like if it started to dance, I mean that is how you would look right.” Myra said and then started laughing. Christine got angry and then stood up from the chair in anger.

“I hate you Myra.” She said it and then left. I went behind her as she was angry. God Myra is sometimes.

I went to Christine and said “Hey come Christine, you know you should not think about her talking, you know how stupid she can talk, but you are not stupid, right, so just don’t think about that, okay.”

“Yeah I know, but Myra should still know that she can’t joke like that. It hurts my feelings.” She said, and then I was just telling her when he came again and then came in front of us.

“Devin, what is he doing here? Is he back in college? Oh Penelope, you didn’t tell me that he was coming.” Christine asked me. I looked at her with a smile on my face and then told her.

“Actually, yeah, I forgot you’d said that it was Devin.”

“What nonsense you are talking about Penelope, this is Devin. Only I saw his face and you know what, even if I didn't have seen his face I would have, for sure, recognised him from his back and he is the only one who has this black thing.”

She laughs and then goes away. I don’t know what to do and what not to the man Devin is if he is the one and he used to love me so much. That is why he didn’t even look at me. He is back now and still acting like he just doesn't care about me all at all.

“What are you thinking here?” I was just in my thoughts when Chris came and then said

“Nothing much.”

“No, your eyes are telling me that you are in some deep thought and you are thinking whether that’s right or not. Not.”

“Yeah umm thank you Chris for what you did that day. I mean you didn’t tell anyone about that and I was thanked a lot for that.”

I said, and then I made my way to class. Chris was coming with me as we both are in the same class, “So I didn’t ask you that day, as you were already tense, but now I wanted to ask you what that was for. I mean, why were you there in the first place and all alone?”

I don’t know what to tell him why I was there. Yes, I was there because of Devin, because I wanted to see him because I wanted to talk to him. Now he is back, but he is not even talking to me now. I just can’t let that happen.

“No, that can’t be seen. I just umm, I just went there. I was so curious.”

“Listen, I know that there is for sure something that you are not telling, but I will just say one thing, that you don’t risk your life. Going there alone is damn risky and it’s actually not worth it, trust me on that.”

I looked at him. Should I tell him no, he would not be able to help me. Yes Myra, she told me that she would help, but, now he is back, I have to talk to him on my own.

We were just sitting when he came inside and sat in front of me. As the class went over. We all got it. I followed him and then I went to the parking space for him.

“Devin listen.” I said. He stopped on his track, so he is Devin, the one who saved me. Because of whom I am alive today. I just could not thank him more for that.

“Thank you so much Devin. Thank you so much for being there for me. I mean, I never thought that it would be possible but you just did that. Thank you for saving me.” I said that and then I just hugged him. I felt that I should do that. I don’t know why he was not hugging me back. Did I do something wrong?

I waited there for a while why what’s happening I pull back from the hug and then looked at him “What happened Devin are you not happy to see me.”

“Why is it that I am supposed to be happy to see you? Is there something special in you that I don’t know.” I took a deep breath and then I just calmed myself down. I needed to just calm myself down.

“It’s okay. Maybe you are angry with me, but I am happy that you are back.”

“Excuse me Penelope, let me be very clear to you that I just don’t care about anything at all. The only thing that I care about is just this, that we had nothing in between now, 8 months ago. It was all over.”

It hurts to hear that it was all over eight months ago what had happened that let that happen.

“But why is this so and what is the scene in this and what is just the cause of it? I mean you saved me and then you just left? Why.”

I asked him I didn’t. . I know why he is showing this cold behaviour to me because I just don’t get that, but I know one thing, that it hurts to have it all like that. I am standing here asking him questions and he is just acting like I am bothering him. I am not doing that. I want to know the truth.

“Why are you bothering me by telling me you didn't have any work 8 months ago? I clearly told you that I am not in love with you. After that, also what you want to know more about.”

“Devin, okay cool, I just accept that you don’t love me, but I do have a question for you. If you don’t love me and you don’t care about me, then why do you save me just because you would just let me die?”

I asked him because I just don’t believe that you don’t love me. Deep down in my heart it is not leaving that he can’t love me, because I am just keeping on thinking that it can’t just happen that you can’t love me. I can see that in his eyes and I just don’t know why, because I don’t remember anything, but I just have this feeling that whatever he is saying today it’s a lie.

“What is your problem? I know that you have lost your memory, so if you want pity for me, if you want that, then okay cool, I have pity for you. I have a very very am actually very sad for you, but that can not change the thing that I don’t love you and I can never change and go and have a life and leave myself alone.”

He told me in a harsh tone, I am not scared of it and I don’t care about that.

“What are you doing there in that freezing cold water and why did you put me inside? I just don’t understand that. How can I be a human being inside it if it was not possible for them?”

I said it because I just wanted to know the truth. I just know that there is definitely something that I don’t know. Maybe my family also don’t know about it. It is not That half of the truth.

“What is your problem? What do you want? Just tell me clearly, do you want something for me cause let me tell my thing that I don’t have anything to offer to you and I was not there I was at my home I just came here yesterday I am I supposed to be anywhere else?.”

Hi, don’t leave when I saw that I had his hand and then I told him in a very steady voice.

“ You know that I am not lying. It is you who is lying. You don’t have to think about it like how I am going to react or what is it that I’m going to think we had something eight months ago and if a person can die for that person eight months ago, then there is definitely something between them which has more than just a physical attraction and for that sake. I’m asking you what is it that you are hiding from me?”

Just say it. Just tell me why you did that. I know that there is something that you are not telling me, but please just do what I want you.

How the hell can this happen when I have just met a guy and I want to be with him so?

“Look just because you ask him continuously, then here’s the answer. Definitely we had something and we had that stuff for people called it. Then I realised that it was not for you. It’s not that I want you in my life, I want, I want you to be a part of my life. I know it might sound hard, but I have parted my ways from you. That’s why I didn’t even go to the hospital. What would you think if I had even a bit of love for you? I would not have come to see you even once after that happened to you, because I don’t care. I guess I saved you because I would have done that for everyone who would have been there.”

Tears started to flow from my eyes because just hearing about it that he didn’t love me gave me a heart attack. I don’t know how this happened, but it just happened by looking into his eyes. I just know that he loves me, but here he is doing this in denial of my devil.

“ but everyone but that you love me a lot. Then what is it I have like this? What you are saying if it is right and what everyone else is saying, bye, that’s not right, everyone else that you had love in your eyes for me have you denying it right now. What is the thing are you afraid of? That something might happen to me if I came close to you?”

He came close to me, and then looked into my eyes. I was just lost in his deep eyes when he said,

“No, I am scared that if I contact my name with you, then you will to my name because I let my heart give to an good orphanage partner. I can say that you are not an orphanage girl. Not if you are a whale of a family, then I don’t think that you need me because you’re all such a selfish bitch.”

“ How could you call me because you know this very well, that I am not like that, but you are still saying this. I just don’t get it and what is the problem with me? I just ask you a very simple question and this is how you are insulting me.”

He laughed at me. I just don’t know what has gotten into him. That he is talking like that and behaving like that. It is not that I remember anything or I know anything, but as a simple human being, they also just don’t behave like that, it is not something normal .

“A simple question, maybe I have been saying this to you for so long that I am not in love with you. What we heard is gone now and I don’t have anything for you, but here you are standing and making me see you a lot of cute stuff because you are someone who wanted to know a lot of things. Don’t put all the blame on me and don’t start this thing with your tears. I’m playing this victim card when he talks to me like this and that edit that I’m not afraid of tears. I’m not afraid of showing my latest advice to you. Just stay away from me, you’ll be very, very happy. The more you will come close to me. Most will cry.”

He wants me to stay away from him, so I will do that. If he wants that, then I am going to do that. I am not going to come close to him now. The efforts or everything that I have been thinking is just not correct is just not true. He knows one thing now and change it is just clear that I have changed not. Let things change now. If he doesn’t want me, then I will not be close to him.

“Cool, if you want it this way, then let us just have it this way. We will only do it this way. Only if you want it like this to look like I am not scared of you nor anything, but now I am telling you that, Mr.Devin, even if you come to me, I will accept it.”

He just started to laugh. Why was he acting like that? Does he have to be so ruthless to me? I wiped my tears and was just looking at him when he looked into my eyes and then said,

“Like I do care about it, right I don’t care about it, in any way, or the way you got it. Let me tell you one thing: that I will never go to a bimbo like you, which is just like the other one that is not to my taste.”

I was still crying when I looked at him in anger and said “So you are saying that you were just close to me or the love that you have for me was just because I was an orphan for you. Suddenly, I am sorry that I disappointed you. I am extremely sorry, so for sure I can’t be your taste. You should go for someone else who needs your charity love because I don’t need that.”

I said it and then made my way to my house. I immediately went to my room. Mom even called me, but I just ignored her and then went inside my room. How can he be like this? He can consider the stuff and the things at least for once. How come he can act like this at all? How

“Look at me, my love, what is it to tell me why you are crying so much?” Mom came supposed and then kept on asking me what am I supposed to tell her what happened today?

I tried to control myself, and then wiped my tears. Even though I was trying to control them. I am just not able to do that. “Mom, today I met Devin and you know what, he just insulted me so much he just said that because he was with me because I was orphaned.”

I said it while still crying. Mom hugged me tighter and then after a while she made me look into her eyes.

“No more tears did you get that and whatever he said, it’s ridiculous. Did you get that? It's absolutely ridiculous. Look at me, my love, you don’t have to surround yourself with people who don’t love you at all. People should be around people who truly love you and want to be with you. Please don’t do this to yourself.”

I nodded at her and then I wiped my tears. I rested my head on her lap. She is right that I should not do this, but it still just happened. I am not happy because of that, but still I don’t have to control myself, all the way that I can.

“Mom, you are right. I will distance myself from him, but mom, I just feel that I love him and here he is .”

“Ohh my dear, just because you had a past with someone doesn’t mean that you will have your future with them. I want you to be happy and not that for a man. If he truly loves you, then he himself will come to you. Don’t go behind him. Maybe he does have his reasons, which are for yours and his good.”

TO BE CONTINUED…