Uncontrollably Falling For You

Chapter 6

February 14th. Valentine's Day. The stupidest holiday ever. It fell on a Tuesday, but I really didn't care. Olive had been a little upset when she realized, though I didn't try to hide my indifference.

I walked through the dull hallway absentmindedly, dragging my feet slightly as I went. I only had one more class to go, thank god. I was almost to my locker when I heard my name being called from behind me.

"Mark!" I turned to see Olive walking swiftly over to meet me. I slapped a grin on my face as soon as I saw it was her.

"Hey," I greeted her warmly. She wrapped her arms around my waist, squeezing for a quick moment. I knew she would want to do something after school. I was never big on celebrating Valentine's Day, but this was our second one together, and I knew she was going to want it to be special.

"So what's the plan for after class?" she asked as if on queue. "Did you want me to come over?" I grinned and nodded. Why not? Sounded better than going to see a f*****g movie.

"Yeah, that sounds good," I agreed. What would we do at my house that was so different from any other day? She probably wanted to have sex... As awful as it sounded, I could have groaned at the thought. It was beginning to feel like a chore. I wasn't even sure if I'd ever gotten her off.

"Great!" She sounded like she was in a good mood. "I need to go home after school for a little, but then I can head over."

"Sure. Just let me know when you're heading over, okay?" I smiled and leaned down to kiss the top of her head quickly. "I gotta go." She nodded.

"Yeah, me too. See ya later!" she said happily before turning and walking back in the direction she came from. I let out a deep breath, shaking my head slightly, before turning and continuing to my locker.

>

I slipped my coat over my shoulders and shut my locker for the day, the familiar feeling of relief washing over me. Done for the day... I turned and began walking towards the front of the school. I was nearly at the entrance when I felt my phone buzz in my pocket. My brow furrowed slightly before I pulled it out to see who had texted me. I couldn't help but grin to myself once I saw it was Felix. 'Hey. What're you doing today?' he asked. Was he joking?

'You know it's Valentine's Day, right?' I replied, slipping my phone back in my pocket once it was sent. I walked out the front doors, a rush of cool air hitting me. It was refreshing compared to being in the stuffy school all day. I pulled the collar of my coat closer against my neck and began walking across the parking lot, towards Jayla's car.

"Hey!" I suddenly heard Jay's voice from right behind me. I glanced over my shoulder to see she was only a few feet behind me.

"'Sup?" I asked stupidly. She raised an eyebrow.

"Nothin'. You doing something with Olive later?" she asked with a grin as we began walking step in step with each other.

"How ever did you know?" I asked sarcastically. She looked slightly confused by my response.

"Well don't you want to?" she asked. I shrugged a shoulder.

"Not particularly. She's making a big deal out of nothing. It's just some dumb made up holiday," I sighed. I knew I was probably being a little bit dramatic.

"Yeah, I know what you mean." As soon as we were in her car, we each pulled out a cigarette per usual. I lit mine and then checked my phone again. Felix had texted me back. 'Well, yeah... I was gonna ask if you wanted to chill, but from your response I'm guessing you're tied up for the night.'

'I am, unfortunately... Don't want to royally piss Olive off.' I texted back, taking a drag of my cigarette. I probably would have rather hung out with him than spend my night awkwardly f*****g my girlfriend. What am I saying? Maybe I did seriously need to reevaluate my situation with her...

'Haha, I get that dude. If anything changes, let me know,' he replied shortly after I'd sent my text. I sighed and slipped my phone into my pocket, peering out the window as we drove. When did I become so conflicted? I'd never been the touchy feely type.. I'd always been kind of cold in relationships.. But this felt different.. The fact that I would have rather spent time with my male friend than my girlfriend was a little weird. But he was a good friend to me. I liked spending time with him. My stomach twisted slightly as I thought about it. I shook the thoughts from my head and turned my attention back to my dwindling cigarette. I took a deep drag, trying to relax my mind. Everything would be okay. I would play it by ear.

Soon we pulled up into the church parking lot. We both got out of Jayla's car and walked up to the house. "You know," she began as we slowly crossed the street. "You're lucky you have somebody to spend tonight with." I rolled my eyes, casting her a playful scowl.

"You could spend the night with somebody, too... if you just asked," I hinted. She laughed and shook her head, shoving her hands into her jacket pockets.

"No, Li, I really couldn't," she sighed, her breath visible in the frigid air. "Besides... he's with his overly jealous girlfriend."

"Is her jealousy really unwarranted, though..?" I asked slowly. We paused outside our door on the sidewalk. She grinned at me, a dully sad glint in her eyes.

"Yes, it is." She shrugged her shoulders. "He doesn't like me in that way." I stared at her incredulously.

"Are you kidding me? Jay, he's crazy about you!" I snorted. "I can tell just by the way you guys look at each other."

"No," she protested. "You're wrong." She turned and walked up our front steps and to the door. I sighed and followed suit. Why did she have to be so stubborn about it? We walked inside, Titus there to greet us, and took our jackets off. It felt quite warm inside.

Jayla definitely seemed to be in a funk. She walked into the kitchen and immediately searched through the cupboards for something to snack on. The look on her face made me feel bad... She didn't look outright sad, but I could tell something was off.

I decided to head up to my room, since Jay was in a dismal mood, and play some video games before Olive would come over. I laid on my bed and played Fire Emblem on my DS. That would be relaxing and fun before she showed up...

I was playing for maybe ten minutes when my phone went off. I sighed and checked it to see it was Olive telling me she was headed over. 'Okay, just come in.' I replied. I set my phone down on my nightstand and went back to playing my game. She only lived about ten minutes away, so I didn't have much time left.

I knew she was going to want to f**k. I was mentally preparing myself for it. I wouldn't care so much if there weren't so much pressure to perform- s**t, I would probably enjoy it then. But every time we did it, she looked disappointed. She would never tell me she was, but I knew she was. I was disappointed, too. All she did was lay there. She never seemed to get into it. Maybe that was the problem?

I heard footsteps leading upstairs and I knew my time alone was up. I sighed and quick saved my game before setting it on my nightstand. I sat up just in time for Olive to walk through my door. She smiled happily at me, shutting the door behind her, before walking over to my bed and sitting down next to me. She wrapped her arms around me and I did the same in return.

"God, I'm so glad school is over for the day," she breathed, burying her face into my chest. "I wish we didn't have to go tomorrow, though."

"Yeah, I know... me neither." I could have groaned at the thought. We stayed like that in silence for a few seconds before I spoke. "So, what did you wanna do?" I asked. She shrugged her shoulders.

"I dunno.. I wouldn't mind laying down and cuddling with you," she admitted with a small smile.

"I think that could be arranged," I told her softly with a grin. I stood up and walked over to my stereo to put some music on. I settled with Glass Animals before walking back over to my bed and laying down next to my girlfriend. She immediately laid in the crook of my arm, cuddling up against my chest. I let out a deep breath and stared at my ceiling, trying to relax. I knew it was just a matter of time.

"How are your classes doing since they switched?" she asked me nonchalantly, lightly running her fingers over my chest.

"Oh, fine. Glad gym is over.. but I have less classes with my friends, so that kinda sucks," I replied with a shrug. School was school to me. Different classes never made much of a difference with how much I enjoyed it. "What about yours?" I asked in return.

"They're fine," she sighed. "I wish I had a class with you, though..." A crooked grin spread across my face and I held onto her tighter for a moment.

"I'm sure we'll have more together soon enough." I didn't care if I had a class with her or not. I saw her plenty out of school, and I wasn't the type of person who needed that to feel secure. I knew she was, though.

"I love you," Olive suddenly said happily.

"I love you too," I replied, moving to kiss the top of her head.

After a while of laying with each other talking, we both went silence. I couldn't help but think about if I'd chosen to hang out with Felix instead... I would be having a better time. Olive would have been furious, though, so I probably picked the safer bet. I felt her shift and soon her lips were on my neck, kissing gently. Christ, I knew what was coming...

I decided to go with it. I ran my hand down her body until it came to rest on her ass, where I gave a slight squeeze. I could feel her smiling against my skin. She sat up, her deep blue eyes meeting mine, before she leaned forward once more to kiss my lips. I kissed her back, our mouths moving fluently with each other. I was trying to get into it... but I didn't really feel... anything.

"Will you f**k me, Mark?" she breathed through kisses. Get it together, Mark! I nodded, biting onto her bottom lip.

"Of course I will." Real smooth... I was beginning to feel panicked. My d**k was only semi hard, if that. Olive didn't seem to notice as she moved to straddle me at the hips. She pulled her shirt over her head, tossing it to the side, before moving down to kiss me once more.

I sat up just enough to slip my shirt off as well before laying back down. She sat up, peering down at me, a smirk on her face. "You're so sexy," she snickered. I couldn't help but smile at that. I wouldn't call myself sexy..

"So are you," I uttered. She unhooked her bra, tossing it to the ground along with her shirt, and ran her hands over my bare chest. She began kissing my neck, grinding her hips into mine. There was no way she couldn't tell how limp I was... Why the f**k wasn't it getting hard?

After about another minute or two of making out, she moved to take her pants off. I hesitated before doing the same. She looked slightly surprised, but didn't say anything. Instead she moved down and began sucking me off. I knew it wasn't going to work... that was probably my least favorite thing she did to me. It didn't take long for her to stop and let out a frustrated sigh.

"What's going on Mark?" she asked, looking up at me. I swallowed, unsure of how to answer her.

"Nothing..." I shrugged. "Just.. keep doing that. It feels good," I lied, staring back up at my ceiling. She did as I asked, this time using her hand in unison with her mouth. It did end up working a little. Once it was hard enough to go in, she moved back up to me.

"Ready?" she asked, grinning.

"I need to grab a-"

"Forget the condom," she cut me off. "Just f**k me already." She gave me a devious look as she laid down in position. I scrambled up and moved between her legs. It felt totally different without a condom. My d**k could actually feel shit.. That didn't stop her from not seeming into it, though. She wrapped her arms around me and laid there.

I was trying to get into it the best I could, but I could feel my half assed b***r going down as the seconds went by. I couldn't deny it any longer... our s*x was awkward... it was awkward and it felt totally f*****g wrong. That couldn't have been normal for a teenage couple.

Olive let out a loud sigh and pushed me off of her. I didn't even bother asking what the problem was. I knew.. It had gone down while I was inside of her. She pulled her knees up to her chest and stared across the bedroom. I grabbed a blanket and covered my lower half, feeling humiliated. After what felt like five minutes of silence, I murmured, "I'm sorry.." She shook her head, closing her eyes momentarily.

"You don't have to apologize..." She took a deep breath. That's when her head suddenly snapped to look at me, a glare on her face. "What's the f*****g problem?" she growled. I was taken aback by her sudden hostility.

"What? Nothing!" I protested, feeling defensive immediately.

"Oh, no?" Her eyes widened. "What sixteen year old guy can't keep their d**k hard!" she snarled bitterly. I could feel my patience dwindling. I never had the best temper, but I always tried to control it with her. "What the hell is going on? Is it me!?"

"No!" I yelled, returning her scowl. But maybe...

"Don't give me that s**t!" she laughed. "It has to be me! What else could it be?" She stared at me, waiting for an answer. I didn't know what to say. I stuttered inaudibly for a couple seconds before she interrupted. "Mark!" she yelled desperately.

"I don't know what to say, Olive!" I snapped. "If I could magically make my d**k hard, I would! But I couldn't today, I don't know why!" I crossed my arms, averting my eyes from hers.

"You shouldn't need f*****g magic to do that!" she hissed. "I should be enough!" There was silence for a few more seconds before she spoke again. "Is there someone else?" she asked quietly. I glared at her and shook my head. "Are you f*****g cheating on me!"

"NO!" I yelled, louder than I had intended. She looked taken aback, but it didn't take long for her to glare at me once more. "I'm not f*****g cheating on you, Olive! God damn! Why can't I be allowed to have a bad day!" I growled. "I don't always wanna f**k you!" I added before I could stop myself. She snorted with bitter laughter and shook her head.

"Wow," she hissed, standing from my bed. She began dressing herself, and I knew what that meant. "You're such a f*****g d**k!" she snapped.

"You're not always sunshine and rainbows, either, honey!" I retorted. She cast me a look of disgust and rolled her eyes.

"I'm leaving! Happy f*****g Valentine's Day!" she yelled, pulling her pants up as she did.

"I'm not the one who wanted to celebrate this stupid ass holiday, dude! You did!" I reminded her. "Putting all sorts of stupid ass pressure on it and s**t!"

"Yeah, whatever! See ya." Olive didn't give a second look back as she burst through my door and stomped down the stairs. She could be such a little brat... I stared at my door, trying to get a hold of my thoughts. I had mixed emotions. Of course I was pissed that we'd gotten into an argument like that, but I was also relieved that I was by myself.

I let out a deep breath, running a hand through my hair. After a couple more seconds I stood up and began to get dressed. I sat back down on the edge of my bed. I looked over at my DS and phone sitting on my nightstand, debating what to do next. I could hang out with Felix... I could play my game... Hanging out with Felix sounded great, but I honestly didn't want him to know what had just happened. It was slightly humiliating, after all. I grabbed my phone just to check and noticed I had recieved a text. It was from Felix.. I opened it and read, 'I played through Catherine a couple times... I just got the best bad ending.. Does that make me a loser? Locked in my room playing video games by myself on Valentine's Day?' I couldn't help but laugh.

'Not at all. Valentine's Day is a fake holiday.' Send.

I groaned and laid down on my bed, staring up at the ceiling. Something was sticking in my mind from earlier that was bothering me. Our s*x felt wrong... What did that even mean? Why did it feel wrong? We weren't compatible, I guess... The thought of being without Olive made my chest hurt a little. I didn't want to lose her.

I was a bit surprised when I realized I was left with a bit of s****l build up. But what did I expect after all that? I decided to j******f to help get my mind off of the bullshit that had just ensued. I tried to think of things that would get me off quick. I didn't want to look at p**n, I wasn't in the mood for that... but I also didn't want to think about Olive.

It didn't take me long to come, and I was left feeling a little bewildered and slightly disturbed. I sat up, my heart beating quickly. One person in particular popped into my head just before I came... someone I never would have expected. That person was Felix.

I pulled my knees up to my chest, feeling slightly dazed. Why the hell would I think of him right before I jizzed? My brow furrowed as I rubbed my temples. He was my friend. He was a guy. A straight guy. I wasn't attracted to him... I was just thinking about him because of him texting me earlier. Yeah, that was it. He was on my mind because I was trying to decide if I should chill with him or not.

I laid down, pulling the covers over me. Something was nagging in the back of my mind. Something that told me I was just making excuses for myself.