Uncontrollably Falling For You

Chapter 7

It was still cold out, even though it was the middle of March. It had hardly snowed at all over the winter, but lucky for us, there was a snow storm expected to arrive. We'd all made plans to meet up at Brody's and have a 'snow party' if you will. My mom took a little convincing, but she said she was fine with it as long as we went to school if it didn't snow. I was pretty doubtful that it wouldn't snow. We were supposed to get eighteen inches, and I was hoping we actually did.

"Do you know who's gonna be there?" I asked Jayla as we ate our dinner. I stuck to a veggie and cheese sub. I wanted something with bread so that I didn't feel too sick from drinking. I always found that bread and s**t made it easier on my stomach. She shrugged.

"I think only me, you, Rhett, maybe Lillian, and Felix... of course." She rolled her eyes, taking a bite of her sandwich. Felix. I'd been trying to keep my mind off of him ever since Valentine's Day. Not going to lie, I was failing at my attempts. I thought about him frequently. Not in any way in particular, though.

"Nobody else could convince their parents?" I asked glumly. She shrugged a shoulder.

"Can you blame them?" she asked in return, her mouth full of food. God, what a lady... "Is Olive going?" I hadn't talked much to my sister about our total failed s*x attempt. She got the idea, but I never went into much detail.

"Nope. Not tonight." I was slightly relieved. There was a good chance we would be snowed in for a day after, and I didn't want to be stuck with her. I glanced at the clock to see it was going on seven. It was supposed to start snowing at any time. "We should get going soon." I was antsy.

"Yeah, dude. We'll go after we're done eating." She took another large mouthful of her sandwich. I grinned and did the same. My mom was in the living room watching TV. She had the night off luckily. I didn't want her to be stuck at work.

"You guys better be careful!" she called.

"Mom, we're not gonna be driving in it!" Jayla replied. "Don't worry!"

"Alright." She sounded slightly skeptical. "I'll take a video of Titus playing in it for you." Titus had never seen a lot of snow before.. but the snow we did get, he loved playing in.

"God, I hope a lot lays on the ground!" I loved the winter and snow. When I was young, I always wanted to move to Alaska. But then I grew up and realized that was never going to happen...

We finished our meals quickly and we both stood up. Jayla stretched her arms above her head, letting out a groan. "You ready?" she asked. I nodded eagerly and we headed for the front door. "See ya, Mom!"

"Bye guys. Be careful!" she called one last time before we left. It was definitely cold out. I suppressed a shiver as we walked across the road. Nobody was out... it was so bizarre. We got into Jay's frigid car and she turned on the engine.

As we drove, small snow flakes began to fall from the sky. It made my stomach warm with joy. I was so ready to get drunk and play in the snow...

>

I cracked my cup against Jayla's before taking a large sip of it. The harsh liquid warmed a path from my mouth all the way down to my stomach. I suppressed a cough onto the back of my hand and shook my head. "f**k!" I complained, causing Jayla to laugh.

"Awwww, little Li Li! Being a little p***y b***h!" she jeered before taking another sip of her drink.

"You gonna take that dude?" Rhett asked from beside me, sounding highly amused.

"I hate vodka!" I exclaimed. "Especially f*****g Vladimir!" I crinkled my nose in disgust and looked down at the sickening clear drink.

"Tastes like rubbing alcohol.." Felix nodded in understanding. "But it's cheap!" he added brightly.

"f**k yeah, it's cheap!" Jayla spat cheerily. "It's cheap and it's fuckin' easy to choke down!" She grabbed the bottle and poured a shot into the glass that was sitting on the table in front of Felix. "Take a shot with me!" Damn, she must have been drunk. Brody and I exchanged amused glances.

"Is this some kind of trick...?" Felix teased, a smirk forming on his face. Jayla narrowed her eyes.

"Oh, just shut up and take the shot..." She held her plastic cup towards him. He picked up his shot glass and tapped it against the cup before they both took down their drinks. Felix grimaced, but didn't cough or complain like me. "Jesus Christ, Mark! Are we Russian or something?" she laughed.

"No- I think we're Polish..." I gave an exaggerated shrug.

"Yeah, Green is definitely Polish," Brody agreed.

"I know, I was just kidding!" Jayla laughed before taking a seat. We were all huddled around the kitchen table. Brody's dad was asleep in his room, but as usual we didn't have to worry about waking him.

Lillian ended up not being able to make it, either. So the only ones who were able to go to Brody's were me, Jay, Felix, and Rhett. It was kind of nice, though. We were all having a good time, drinking quite a bit. The snow had begun to fall pretty heavily, and there was a decent amount on the ground. It was only around twelve in the morning, and it was supposed to go on until late morning.

"Oh!" Jayla suddenly exclaimed, smacking her hands down on the table top. "We should play never have I ever!"

"Ugh, I hate that f*****g game...," Felix grumbled.

"Why? Because you always lose?" she jeered, her eye brows furrowing. He shook his head.

"Noooo," he replied, but was quickly cut off by my drunk sister.

"Well then let's play, come on!" she whined. He laughed slightly and gestured to her.

"Start us off then." He watched her intently as she thought for a moment.

"Alright! Never have I ever eaten a p***y!" she barked. Oh, Jesus... those were moments I wanted to forget. All of us except for Jayla took a sip of our drink. I grimaced at the disgusting vodka. I was gonna get drunk really fast if that's how things were gonna go.

"My turn!" Felix snickered. "Never have I ever sucked a d**k!" He stared directly at her as he spoke. She laughed and shook her head.

"Come on!" She took a swig from her cup.

"You sure you still wanna play?" Rhett chimed in, sounding amused. "'Cause I'm pretty sure we could all get you more drunk than you already are pretty damn fast." We all laughed, knowing it was true. To my knowledge, Jayla had only gone so far as to make out with a girl. So with four guys against one girl, it wouldn't be very hard.

"Fine! You guys are such buzzkills." She sighed. As we sat together, I couldn't help but look over at Felix from time to time. He was wearing a flannel shirt, his normal dark red beanie, and some black stretch pants. He looked more tired than normal, and I couldn't keep myself from wondering why. He had rather dark circles under his eyes, darker than normal, and he wasn't acting quite like his usual self.

"Pour me another, Jay," he requested, pushing his shot glass closer to her. She cast him a smirk and poured more vodka into his glass, spilling some over onto the table.

"Party foul!" Brody suddenly burst out.

"What!" she gasped. "Oh, come on!" she snickered, smacking him in the arm. When I glanced back over at Felix, he looked just in time to meet my eyes. He gave me a crooked grin before taking his shot. My stomach twisted. Why did I have to feel so weird about him all of the sudden? I sighed quietly and took another sip of my drink. I needed to forget about my twisted thoughts.

"Are we gonna go outside tonight?" Rhett asked suddenly.

"Yeah, I want to!" I chimed in, glancing out the window at the falling snow.

"We will, but I wanted it to get a little deeper first," Brody explained. I noticed out of the corner of my eye that Felix was standing up from his seat. I glanced over in time to see him heading for the stairs. My curiosity was piqued.

After about a minute more of listening to everybody chat about the snow, I decided to get up and follow him. I didn't want to make it too obvious... I walked downstairs and glanced over to see him sitting on the couch, one leg stretched out in front of him with his foot resting on the coffee table. He looked over and smiled when he saw it was me. He had a lit cigarette between his fingers. "Hey, what's up?" I asked.

"Nothin' much. Just wanted to smoke this s**t down here," he explained before taking a drag. "Your sister is f****d up," he snickered. "You know she's f****d up when she's talking to me." I laughed.

"That's sad, but true," I agreed lightly. I took a seat next to him and sighed, pulling out a cigarette of my own. I lit it and took a drag in. There wasn't any music playing on the stereo, so I was guessing the CDs we had in earlier had all ended. It was strangely silent. I took a large sip of my drink, feeling nervous suddenly. He made my heart pound, my palms sweat. I glanced over at him as smoke slowly rolled out of his nostrils, his eyes staring blankly ahead. My brow furrowed lightly. Do I have a crush on him....? I snapped my eyes forward, swallowing roughly.

Felix was becoming someone I could call a good friend... I felt at ease when I was around him. He made me laugh. I could joke with him, talk about video games and stupid s**t like that. He was just a friend... but then why hadn't I been able to keep my mind off of him the past month? I peered over at him once more and was surprised to see he had an amused expression on his face.

"What's wrong, dude?" he asked with a hint of laughter in his voice. Jesus Christ, did I have all my emotions on my face? I shook my head quickly, frowning. I could feel my face getting slightly hot, so I really hoped I wasn't turning red. I usually became flushed from drinking, so hopefully that's what he thought it was from.

"N-nothing. I was gonna ask you the same thing, actually," I muttered.

"I'm fine," he snickered. I cast him a quick grin before taking another sip of my vile drink.

"Ugh..." I grimaced. "I keep thinking it's gonna get better the more I drink, but I think it's getting worse..." I shook my head.

"Can I have a sip?" Felix asked. I nodded and handed my cup over. I watched as he took a swig and passed it back to me. He didn't look like he was enjoying it either, though I knew he wouldn't complain like me.

I tried not to look at him too much as we smoked our cigarettes. I didn't like the feeling I got when I did... My chest and stomach felt warm and full of butterflies, but at the same time my mind was telling me it was wrong. I shouldn't feel like that when I looked at him. I took a deep drag of my cigarette and glanced over at him one last time. I was drunk... but he looked good. He looked good as he sat there, smoking his cigarette. I liked the outfit he was wearing, I liked how his faded blue hair was peaking out from under his hat, I liked how his brown eyes looked staring ahead at nothing in particular... the realization hit me like a truck and I could have gasped. Luckily, I resisted. Instead, I took a large sip of my drink. Is it because I'm drunk? No.. I had a feeling I'd been feeling like that longer than I could comprehend.

If Felix knew the disgusting thoughts that were running through my mind, he probably would have punched me. What was wrong with me...? Was that what was so wrong with Olive and I's s*x life? Was I not attracted to women? I looked over at him, hoping that every time I looked at him I would feel something different. My stomach twisted and warmed as if I'd just taken a shot. He turned his head to meet my gaze, his eyes narrowing.

"You're being weird...," he said skeptically. s**t!

"I-I'm just- pretty drunk!" I sputtered out with an awkward laugh. He raised his eyebrows, a smile creeping onto his face.

"I'm not drunk enough." He shook his head, still smiling, before smashing the end of his smoldering cigarette into the ashtray. "I think I'm gonna go find something better to drink." He stretched his arms over his head before standing up. He walked past me, his leg lightly bumping into my knee as he did, and headed back upstairs. I let out a deep breath and took one final, small puff of my cigarette before putting it out as well.

I hesitated before standing and walking over to the stairs. I looked up the staircase briefly before heading up. I turned to see everybody was still seated around the table in the kitchen. I walked over to lean against the counter across from the table and took a sip of my drink.

"There you are!" Jayla blurted out. "What the hell were you guys doing down there? Suckin' each other off?" She laughed loudly. Jesus Christ. I exchanged glances with Felix, who looked much more amused than I felt.

"Yup," he simply replied. Jayla stifled laughter, shaking her head.

"s**t! I knew it... hey! I guess that means you lied at never have I ever!" She pointed her finger in accusation.

"No, I didn't. That was my first time.. I dunno about Mark, but..." he trailed off, a smirk appearing on his face.

"Oh, god. You homos!" She went into a fit of laughter.

"Jesus, Jay, how much have you had to drink?" I asked, trying to force a laugh as well. It didn't work too well, unfortunately.

"I'm just having a good time, s**t!" she snorted. "Here, have more!" She lifted the bottle up towards me. The amount of liquor was slowly lessening.

"Do you have anything else, dude?" Felix asked, directing his question to Brody. He nodded before standing up and opening the freezer door beside me. To our sweet relief, he pulled out a fifth of Jameson. "You've had that this whole time?" Felix laughed. Brody nodded, smirking.

"Oh, f**k you guys! Rhett!" Jayla yelled, causing his head to snap towards her in surprise.

"W-what?" he asked nervously.

"You'll drink the vodka with me, right?" she asked, grinning. He shrugged a shoulder.

"Yeah, I don't care. I'm not that into whiskey," he admitted.

"Yes!" Jay cheered while the three whisky drinkers gave him a taunt.

"You p***y!" Brody snickered. I handed Rhett my cup, which only had about a shot left in it, and walked over to the counter to grab a new plastic cup. Brody poured some for himself, then gave me a couple shots worth. Felix had a shot glass in front of him once more that he filled last.

"Mark, can you grab me a cup?" he asked. I nodded and did as asked. I figured he would get tired of refilling his shot glass. He took the shot and then grabbed the bottle, pouring some into his cup. "That tastes so much better," he laughed. I took a quick sip of my drink and nodded in agreement.

"You guys are fuckin' crazy for preferring vodka," Brody snorted. I was much more of an amber liquor guy. Every now and again I would drink some vlad mixed with an energy drink, which definitely f****d you up and tasted tolerable. But if I could choose, I preferred dark rum or whiskey.

"It's cheap!" Jayla protested, with Rhett agreeing. "And it doesn't give me a hangover!"

"God, vodka gives me a way worse hangover than whiskey," Brody said in disgust.

"Ah, whatever!" Jayla waved him off before standing. "I'm going outside!" she announced before turning and exiting the door leading to the back porch. We all exchanged glances and began standing. It did sound fun to me, so why not?

We all stepped out onto the screened in porch. Everything was glistening beautifully around us in the night. I couldn't keep a smile from forming on my face as I stared. It was so deep! I opened the porch door and stepped out into it. It was a little past my knee, which was insane for snow in Pennsylvania. Jayla was a few feet in front of me, throwing handfuls of it into the air over her head, laughing. I watched her, laughing as well, when I was suddenly shoved to the ground. It was a soft landing, since I was cushioned by snow.

"Hey!" I growled playfully, looking up to see Felix laughing at me. I grabbed a handful of snow and threw it at him, though it only blew back into my face.

"Oh, nice one!" he teased and began walking away. I sighed and stood up, feeling a bit unsteady. The snow was still coming down rather heavily. I loved it. It was great to see so much. We definitely wouldn't have school.

We all played in the snow like children, but we didn't care. As I rolled through it, laughing like an i***t, I realized that I was glad Olive wasn't there... I was happy that I could fully enjoy myself without having to worry about keeping her entertained, or making me mad. It was a refreshing feeling. Something I could get used to..

>

So there we sat. On the couch, in our boxers as our clothing dried in the dryer. None of us had really taken into account how wet our clothing would get. The only ones wearing clothes were Brody and Jayla. He'd given her something to wear so nobody could check her out in her bra... I sat awkwardly between Rhett and Felix. I was a little too close to Felix for my comfort, so I found myself leaning slightly closer towards Rhett.

Felix didn't look like he gave a s**t to be in his boxers in front of everyone. He was fairly drunk, though, I could tell. I peered over as he took a final sip from his cup. His hair was wet, and he'd taken off his beanie to let it dry. "Well, that was fun!" he suddenly said cheerily, sounding quite drunk.

"Dude, have you always had your n*****s pierced?" Jayla suddenly asked, directing her question to Felix. His eyes narrowed and he smirked.

"Yup, ever since I popped out of the womb!" he said sarcastically. Jayla scowled at him, but it caused the rest of us to laugh. "No... obviously... I got them done like three months ago," He snorted. I tried not to look, but since it was brought up, I couldn't keep my eyes from wandering. They looked annoyingly good. "Sexy, aren't they?" he teased. Jayla laughed loudly.

"Yeah, they would be if they were on anybody but you!" she retorted. Felix gasped, holding his hand to his chest.

"How could you!" He tried to sound as upset as he could.

"Hey!" Brody cut in. "Felix, I think they're sexy!" We all burst into laughter.

"Oh, whatever," Jayla snickered. "I'm fuckin' tired now.." She sighed before taking a drag of her cigarette. I didn't miss Brody grinning at her.

"You can go to bed whenever you want, you know?" he told her. She nodded and smiled back at him. It was around three in the morning, and we were all fairly intoxicated.

"Dude, I'm fuckin' beat! I think I'm gonna go to bed, too," Rhett yawned.

"Do you guys want me to pull out the futon from the couch?" Brody asked. "That way only one of you has to sleep on the couch." I shrugged with a nod.

"Yeah, that sounds good," I accepted the offer.

"I call the bed upstairs!" Rhett said quickly before standing. I watched as he rushed towards the stairs. Nobody was fighting him for it, so I thought it was kind of amusing. Brody noticed as well, laughing and shaking his head as our stupid friend went up the steps.

"Alright... Move over, guys." We did as asked and scooted over so that he could get the bed out. Once he was done, he stood up straight and stretched his arms over his head. "I think your clothes are dry." He nodded to the dryer.

"Thank god!" I breathed and stood up, walking over to the dryer to retrieve my clothes. I sorted out Felix and my clothing, getting dressed quickly. I threw him his clothes and he slowly did the same.

"God, these are hot!" he complained.

"Well, yeah, they just came out of the dryer!" I snickered. I was so much more comfortable without my body exposed.

"We're gonna go to bed, guys," Jayla suddenly said before standing up.

"Oh, alright," I said with a shrug, my brow furrowing. "Good night, I guess." I watched as she walked up the stairs without a second look back.

"Night!" Brody said with a smile and he followed suit. I sighed, glancing over at Felix to see he was pulling a cigarette out. I slowly walked back over to the couch and sat down beside him.

"Well, that was abrupt," I muttered. Felix snorted with laughter and nodded.

"Sure was... they're sick of us," he snickered, slurring slightly. He took a drag of his cigarette before he peered over at me, a smirk on his face. "Somebody's gonna be fuckin' tonight." My heart jumped.

"Who?" I asked, realizing quickly that he wasn't talking about us. He snorted, his bloodshot eyes narrowing.

"Jay and Brode... who else?" he asked slowly. I shook my head, laughing quietly. I buried my face in my hands briefly, trying to get a grip on myself.

"Yeaaaah, that was stupid of me..," I muttered. Felix began laughing into the back of his hand, looking genuinely amused.

"God damn, Mark. You're being more awkward than usual tonight," he snickered, taking another drag of his cigarette. I shook my head slowly, trying to collect myself.

"What did you wanna do now?" I asked, deciding it would be best if I changed the subject.

"I dunno.. I'm f*****g drunk!" He laughed with an exaggerated shrug. "You can have the futon if you want... I can sleep on the couch."

"I don't give a s**t, dude. We could share it for all I care." I took a shaky breath in. Why had I just offered that?

"Yeah... wouldn't be the first time, right?" he reminded me. "Just don't fall on me this time." He went into a small fit of laughter. I grinned, trying to not look as awkward as I felt. God, he was so drunk... If only he knew the pull I was feeling to reach over and put my hand on his leg. I shook the thought out of my head and cleared my throat.

About a half an hour passed and Felix and I were still sitting next to each other, our knees lightly touching. I peered over at him. His head was falling forward, his eyes closed. He looked like he didn't feel so well... If I'd had as much to drink as he did, I wouldn't feel good either. I couldn't keep my stomach from warming as I looked over at him, fully aware of the areas we were touching. I couldn't f*****g believe it...

"You good, Felix?" I asked. He nodded, his eyes fluttering open briefly.

"Yeah... Gonna puke.. not yet, though," he slurred, shaking his head slowly. I snorted with laughter, a smile stuck on my face. It was very rare for Felix to drink to the point of vomiting. I'd probably only seen it once in all the time we drank together. He could definitely drink the most out of all of us without feeling the repercussions.

"You had a good time, at least... so it's worth it, right?" I asked with a shrug. He let out a single laugh and nodded.

"Yeah, that's true..." He turned his head to look at me. "I'm seeing quite a few of you right now... I'll be right back." He grabbed onto my knee tightly and used it as leverage to push himself up. He swayed for a second before stumbling to the stairs. I was slightly worried he wouldn't make it to the bathroom.

I sighed and leaned down in my seat slightly, closing my eyes. It had been a weird night for me... I still felt conflicted about everything with Felix. It would make sense for me to have a thing for him... He made me feel all f****d up when I looked at him. Plus, I felt wrong doing anything s****l with Olive. We hadn't even tried to do anything since Valentine's Day, and I wasn't complaining. Sure, that was great for me; but that wasn't normal for a sixteen year old guy. I didn't want to be attracted to Felix... but sadly... that's how it was seeming. Maybe once I sobered up, things would be different.

After about five minutes or so, Felix came walking down the stairs once more. He must have misstepped on the last couple stairs, because he fell to his ass and kind of slid down them. This caused him to burst out in laughter as he sat at the bottom of the stairs. I couldn't help but laugh as well.

"Ow!" he groaned, unsteadily making his way to his feet. He was smiling as he turned and began walking back towards me. "Did you see that?" he asked. I nodded, a crooked grin planted on my face.

"Obviously," I snickered. He sighed and sat down heavily on the futon. He reached forward and grabbed one of the couch pillows. He then laid down, his back facing me. "You going to sleep?" I asked.

"Yup. Wanna go to sleep while my stomach still feels easy," he explained. That made sense... It was so difficult to sleep while you felt nauseous from alcohol.

"Alright, man," I sighed. After a minute, I stood up and turned off the lights. There was still light coming from the TV, so we could still see if we needed to. I smoked one final cigarette before I figured I would go to bed as well. It was probably four in the morning by then. I debated if I should lay on the futon with him or if I should lay on the couch for a moment.. f**k it.

I laid down next to Felix, careful not to move too much. I let out a deep breath and shut my eyes. I wasn't sure if it was from the alcohol or from him being so close to me, but my head was spinning. I was aware, the longer I laid, of how cold I was becoming. We didn't have a blanket, and it was snowing out.

I rolled over so that I was facing him, slightly surprised by how close he actually was to me. I took another deep breath and scooted even closer, leaning forward so my forehead was resting between his shoulder blades. I didn't dare scoot my body any closer. I didn't want to be touching that much... but I was drunk, tired, chilly, and I wanted to get closer to him. I swallowed roughly, aware that he could wake up at any moment. I closed my eyes and tried to relax. I felt his shoulders tense briefly and he sighed before relaxing. Was he awake...? If he was, he wasn't moving away from me.

I wasn't sure how long I was laying there, enjoying the connection, when Felix suddenly sat up. I glanced up at him to see him running his fingers through his hair. "Fuck...," he grumbled before standing up, unsteady on his feet, and walking as quickly as he could to the stairway. I snickered to myself and simply shut my eyes again.

Eventually he came back and laid back down. "I'm never drinking vodka and whiskey together again. Ever!" he stated. "This is the worst I've felt in God knows how long." He shook his head, rolling over away from me again. Dare I moved forward once more? After a couple minutes, once I was sure he was asleep, I did. I scooted forward again and buried my face in between his shoulder blades. I took a deep breath in, taking comfort in how good he smelled to me, and let my tense body relax.

As I laid there, aware of the conflicted happiness welling in my chest, I couldn't help but think about how f****d I was...