Uncontrollably Falling For You

Chapter 4

It was a chilly Saturday night in the middle of November. I laid in my bed with Olive next to me, a movie playing on my small TV. She wasn't into video games like me, or else I would probably be playing something instead.. She was more of a movie person, whereas I was not. We were watching Spun- though I don't think she was enjoying it.. and my suspicions were quickly confirmed.

"Don't you have anything else?" Olive groaned as she turned to face me. I laughed and shrugged a shoulder.

"I mean... I have Gummo, but if you don't like this, I really don't think you'd like that...," I snickered.

"What's that about?" she asked, propping herself up on her elbow. I shook my head.

"You wouldn't like it. Trust me." I sighed, sitting up as well. "What about The Last Airbender? Do you like that?" I asked. She shrugged.

"It would be better than this!" She gave me a small smile. I reluctantly got out of bed and switched the movie out for a DVD of the the Last Airbender. Once it was in, I moved back to my bed and laid down. I was definitely bored.. I would much rather be spending my Saturday night playing Okami, or Catherine, or... anything really.

We settled in next to each other. We only made it through one episode when I could tell she was getting bored again. She kept sighing, shifting her position, and glancing back at me. It was kind of annoying, honestly.. That's when she suddenly turned to face me again. She leaned forward until our lips connected. She gently began kissing me, and I kissed her back. If making out a bit was enough to keep her entertained, that was fine with me!

Olive reached her hand up to grip onto the hair at the base of my skull, sliding her tongue into my mouth slickly. I couldn't help but smile, moving my hand down to grip onto her ass cheek. She pushed her hips into mine, and I couldn't deny the feeling of arousal growing within me. She moved down to kiss my neck, her teeth grazing over my skin. She was putting a little more effort into it than she usually did...

"Mark," she whispered, moving back up to kiss my lips. "Will you f**k me now?" she asked. My eyes widened, but I couldn't keep the smile off my face.

"Seriously?" I asked. She grinned and nodded.

"I'm ready..." She moved her hand down until she grasped my d**k through my pants the best she could. I was taken aback by this, but in a good way. I nodded, leaning forward to kiss her fervently once more. I bit onto her bottom lip lightly, sliding my tongue gently into her mouth. I could feel her smiling as she began undoing my pants. I couldn't believe what was happening; I would finally be able to say I wasn't a virgin! My heart was pounding in my chest, and I felt nervous.

Olive sat up momentarily to pull her shirt over her head, tossing it to my floor. I grinned as I looked over her body. She was so beautiful. She didn't hesitate before taking her bra off. I'd seen her topless before, but this time there was a new found feeling to it. After gawking over her beautiful upper half for a moment, I followed suit in taking my shirt off.

Olive moved over top of me, straddling me at the hips, and pressed her lips onto mine. She ran her hands up my chest, lightly grazing her nails over my skin. My mind was racing. We still had our pants on, but I was sure they would soon be off as well. She began grinding her hips into mine, and I was feeling quite uncomfortable. I wanted to f**k her..

"Do you have a condom?" she murmured. I'd had a box in my dresser since Olive and I had reached the six month mark of our relationship in the hopes that we would use them. I knew she wasn't on birth control; why would she have needed to be?

"Uh, y-yeah... hold on.." I sat up and she laid down once more. I stood up and walked to my dresser. I searched around briefly in my underwear drawer before finding the box of condoms. I picked one out and returned to my bed. I noticed that she'd slipped her pants and underwear off, so I decided to do the same thing. She wrapped her arms around me, pressing her bare body against mine. I ran my hand down to rest on her ass once again, giving her a smile. "Should... I- touch you or something?" I asked awkwardly, nearly cringing as I spoke. She laughed lightly and shook her head.

"I don't think that's necessary..," she whispered, kissing me gently.

"Are you ready?" I asked softly. She nodded, staring into my eyes briefly before laying on her back. I'd never put a condom on before, but I knew how. I tried not to fumble with it too much. I didn't wanna look like an i***t, but it was a bit unnerving being there between her legs. I wasn't the most self conscious person out there, but I could feel her eyes burning into me. After what felt like forever, but was probably only a couple seconds, I had the condom on. I swallowed roughly and moved myself into position. I tried to be gentle as I pushed my d**k inside her, but I noticed that she still grimaced. "You okay?"

"Yeah, it's fine... just hurts a little. I'll get used to it though," she insisted, running her hands down to my lower back. She pulled me forward, forcing my d**k to go deeper inside her. I gave her a quick kiss and began thrusting. It felt different than I thought it would... I'm not sure if it's because I was so nervous or what- but it felt kind of awkward. She didn't look like she was enjoying herself, and I was finding it difficult to keep a full hard on at times.

As the minutes ticked by I was beginning to feel more and more embarrassed. Why wasn't my body cooperating with my mind? I'm sure my overthinking of the situation wasn't helping in the least, but I couldn't help myself. I'd wanted her for so long... and it wasn't anywhere near as good as I'd imagined.

After what was probably a half an hour, I finally came. I was surprised and disappointed to find that my orgasms from jerking myself off were more pleasurable. I pulled out of her and stood up, feeling uncomfortable with the c*m filled condom sticking to my d**k. I peeled it off, crinkling my nose in disgust, and tossed it into my trashcan. I wiped myself off with a dirty shirt, feeling rather mortified. I could tell she wasn't happy with that... if I wasn't happy with it, how could she be? I took a deep breath and turned to go back to the bed. Olive was laying with the covers pulled up past her chest. She glanced at me as I sat down.

"So...," I began. "You didn't...?"

"What? No," she replied, shaking her head. "No I didn't... but I don't think anybody does their first time, honestly..." She shrugged. "It's okay, Li."

"I'm sorry if it was awful," I sighed, looking forward once more.

"No, it wasn't!" she protested. "I was close... I just think it takes time to get used to..." She reached over and put her hand on my back. "It's fine, really. We'll have plenty for times to practice!" I looked back with a smile and nodded.

"Yeah, that's true.. I need a cigarette." I stood up and began getting dressed. I looked at my TV to see it was still in the middle of an episode... I felt bad that the Avatar crew had to see the horror that had just ensued. I grabbed my pack of cigarettes and headed out my bedroom door.

I sat on one of the chairs around the dark fire pit and took a drag of my cigarette. It was refreshing to be outside and by myself... I peered up at my glowing bedroom window and shook my head, annoyed with how the night had taken a turn. I would have to do something nice for her since I was such a failure at fucking.. I took my time smoking my cigarette, not in any rush to get back upstairs to my girlfriend.

Later in the night, I tried to do other things for Olive to get her off... None of them were successful. I was left feeling quite frustrated with myself, though she told me it was no big deal. I didn't quite believe that... We ended up going to sleep after a couple failed attempts of fooling around. Olive was definitely a little more distant than normal as we laid next to each other. She wasn't as cuddly as I was used to.. I simply shrugged it off and went to sleep.

>

"Hey, Jayla!" I called from behind her door. I heard a groggy, incoherent reply. "Get up! I wanna talk to you..."

"Fine, fine!" she finally called. "I'm getting up." It was around noon, and Olive had gone home. I was honestly happy to see her go after the terribly awkward events that had taken place the night before. The only good thing about it was that I could no longer say I was a virgin. Other than that I felt weird. I'd practically forced myself to come, and she was left very dissatisfied. Was that normal? Who better to talk to about it than my big sister, the town slut.

Jayla opened her door, her eyes half closed, her hair a mess, her pajamas on. "What's up?" she asked, her voice raspy from sleep.

"Put on your jacket and come outside for a cigarette with me," I requested. She sighed and stretched her arms over her head, stifling a yawn.

"Fine..." She walked back into her room, returning a few seconds later with a jacket over her shoulders. She pulled out her pack of cigarettes. "Let's go." I lead the way down the stairs, through the kitchen, and out the back door. We sat next to each other on the bench, each lighting our own cigarette. "So," she began once we'd each taken a drag. "What's up?"

"Well...," I began hesitantly. "Olive and I did something last night.." The sleep was sudden wiped from Jayla's face and replaced with intrigue and shock.

"Shut the f**k up!" she gasped, a wide smile on her lips. "You guys finally f****d?" I sighed and nodded.

"Yeaah...," I groaned as she started laughing. I shook my head and took a drag of my much needed cigarette.

"So?" she urged on. "You can't just leave it at that! How was it?" She stared at me intently, the smile not faltering. I couldn't help but grin at the situation.

"I mean...," I began, looking down at my feet. "It honestly wasn't that great..." I shrugged my shoulder.

"What?" she snorted. "Really? You guys waited that long and it still wasn't great? I thought the s****l tension between you two would have been enough to make it awesome!" She snickered. I shook my head, wishing that were the truth.

"Nope, not really. It took me a long time to get off, and she didn't at all..." I thought back to it, half wishing I could forget. "I felt like I had to force it," I admitted.

"So you didn't like it either?" she asked, her eye brows furrowing. I shook my head.

"Is that not normal?" I asked, feeling desperate for answers. She gave an exaggerated shrug.

"It's normal for girls first times to be nothing glorious... I don't know about dudes. It's way easier for you guys to bust a nut and call it a day," Jayla explained, taking a quick puff of her cigarette before continuing. "I'm sure it'll get better, though."

"It was seriously so awkward, Jay," I huffed. "I'm half scared to fuckin' do it again!"

"Oh, come on!" She lightly punched my arm. "You gotta get up on that horse again." She shook her head, looking lost in thought momentarily. "Are you two okay?" she asked, sounding more serious. I was taken aback by the sudden question.

"Why wouldn't we be?" I asked, frowning over at her.

"I dunno... you've been arguing a lot.. and now this. Just making sure, dude." She smiled at me but I was left feeling slightly bothered. Maybe something was wrong. "Don't let this bug you, though. If you do that, there'll be too much pressure on you." I nodded, taking a drag of my cigarette. "Wait, did you use a condom?" she questioned.

"Well, yeah. She's not on birth control," I explained. A knowing smile crept over her face.

"Well there's your issue! Condoms suck ass!" she snorted with laughter.

"How am I supposed to f**k her without a condom?" I growled, my frustration growing as I continued to think about it.

"Get her on birth control... or you could always pull out or something," she suggested.

"Yeah, 'cause that sounds like a great idea!" I snorted, rolling my eyes. "We'll just have to keep trying, I guess.." I had been hoping that talking to Jay would help me feel better, put my mind as ease... but it did just the opposite. What happened the night before didn't seem normal. Not that I had much to go off of- but my sister made it seem weird. Maybe it was just the condom.. All I knew was that I didn't want anybody else finding out.