The Hedonist trance

Something happened and it is probably for the best. I had no choice but to accept reality. The name is Anastasia, a blonde from Liverpool. I moved to London when my parents separated. I was fourteen at that time, I overheard them arguing, my mum said he was never a good fit for us. She called him names; a chancer, a lout, a feckless partner. London changed me completely. Every ounce of innocence and dignity I once possessed was shredded. I was influenced and I divulged in debauchery and lust. London was where I could be free, away from my useless Dad, and my mum had little time for me. London and its tax had taken over her, her objective was to maintain our status quo and keep the money coming in. It was a shame she couldn't see what her daughter was turning into. I lost my virginity to a biker, Julius, who was also a student at our school, just to prove I wasn't a mummy's girl to Lucy and her crew. I partied and took drugs, but that wasn't the Climax. You'll discover as my story progresses. I met Williams, a royal, he is the prince of England. Williams had never set foot outside the palace before, he was sickly and so weak that he had to be confined to his rooms with servants and nurses to tend to his every need. We met at Regal, Hatton garden. I had swiped my mum’s ring hoping to get a few quid for it. There was a dealer Lucy told me about, his name is Billy. I was to meet him there. Williams had escaped from Buckingham palace and we bumped into each other. I had mistaken him to be Billy and he went along with it. He must have been so mesmerized that he instantly fell in love with me. It was love at first sight. He didn't hang about in expressing himself and I admired him for that. I knocked him back but he persisted, he remained close to me and popped up everywhere I went. I knew he was stalking but he claims it was a coincidence. I was still with Julius of course, doing all sorts of things, I became a tearaway, a very popular one. My mum still thinks I was still that little girl from Liverpool. To make matters worse, she comes home late and when she does she's too tired and exhausted. She doesn't know I sneak out almost every night when she's asleep. I pitied her, sincerely, my father is a wanker. If you told me he was a great man I would say bollocks, he wasn't, he isn't half the woman my mum is. She's paying the bills and doing all the work, all he does is satisfy her s****l desires. It's no wonder she left him. Mum left Taylor with Dad. He allowed Taylor to be himself, Taylor’s gay, mum didn't accept this, he was acting more like a girl. She said she doesn't recognise her son anymore, I don't think she'll recognise me! Julius had said there was a bonfire and the girls in Lucy's group and the boys in the soccer team were going, I could not refuse, I had to go. We had a lovely time, dancing, drinking, smoking, then came the storm, we all ran into the cabin and huddled inside. It rained heavily, it wasn't stopping anytime soon, so we opted to play a game to stave off the boredom. We decided to play truth or dare and we made it dirty. I hated myself for what I did that night, Julius dared Tina to lick my fanny, I was shocked, there was no refusing, they'll call you a coward if you did. Tina wasn't reluctant, it wasn't the first time she had played those games. It's obviously my first time playing it dirty. She went on her knees and stuck her tongue in my fanny, savouring it like she's having a gelatto. It went on until I moaned. Lucy dared, she played dirty, we all dared dirty and the party went from a bonfire to an orgy. We boozed and boozed and licked some cooze and had some lads. We woke up the next morning, feeling hanging. It was the most proper fun I've had in a long time. I saw Tina taking a coffee and I asked for some. I was feeling uncomfortable and needed to use the loo but it was in use, so I opted to go in the bushes behind the cabin. I hadn't moved a few feet from the loo that I heard some moaning. It was Lucy's, she was being pounded and piped that she couldn't keep her tone low. She must be a nympho I thought, we just had a mad night and she's already on another round. I was about to leave when I heard a voice, it was Julius's, it came from the loo. I opened the door and was gobsmacked. He was lying flat on the floor with Lucy on him, humping him, they were both naked, they saw me enter and didn't seem to give a toss. I felt betrayed, there was no love here, I was just a silly girl who felt I could belong and tried being bad just so I could belong. That brought me down to earth, I distanced myself from them, I stopped attending their parties and I stopped knocking about with them. I needed my sanity, I had thrown away my dignity, God knows how many lads I was with that night, it was intense and roughly vague, I don't want to remember it, I was off my face on drugs and booze. I needed some peace and Williams offered that, we became close and soon enough, we started seeing each other. He didn't tell me he was a prince until the Royal guard came for him. He had been missing for two whole months before it was discovered he had been attending my school. Somehow he found a way to still meet with me, we chose a special spot, a glade in the forest. We met there every Friday night. I had grown fond of him, he was kind and nice, he made me aspire, he was completely different from Julius, he loved me for who I am, he didn't make me indulge in things I didn't agree to. He just had one shortcoming, I wanted to be with him, but he wasn't ready, he claimed he was on some sort of medication that would affect his performance. He did this several times, we've been together for six months and he still does this anytime I feel like it. I wasn't a virgin anymore so I found it hard to go without s*x, I could not be in love with someone and could not even kiss, all we did was hold hands. I find it difficult adapting, I switched to new methods, I adapted and started touching myself. I seem to find pleasure in this. Julius moved into a house just completed nearby. We became next-door neighbours. I hated him for what he did, but I still yearned for him. I really wished he was like Williams but not with the performance part. Our windows were directly opposite each other, I could literally see into his room. He had abs, rock-hard abs. I would touch myself and picture him touching and caressing me. It has become a habit. He caught me one day and came over. I was scared and didn't know what to do. He barged in and came to my room. He undressed and stood there staring at me. I knew he was crazy but not like this, he knew I was abstaining. I asked him to leave but he wouldn't, I couldn't tolerate him, I attempted to scream but he placed a kiss on me and held me by the waist, it was all I needed. I surrendered and he had his way. He left me on the floor and left. I felt calm, like one whose thirst had just been quenched. I didn't talk to him still, we pretended like nothing happened. I still met with Williams in the glade, then something happened. I fell ill, my mum noticed and she took me for a medical diagnosis. There it was discovered I had contracted HIV. I was baffled, at this young age! My mum couldn't believe her ears, she burdened me with questions, I was so emotional that I told her everything. She knew she had failed as a mother, her little angel was the devil itself. She watched as I crumbled and waste away. Something else happened, Julius had it too and he blamed me for being infected. He released several videos of us shagging, and the video from the cabin. William saw it and said he wants nothing to do with me. My mum was in shock when she saw those videos, it went viral and was accumulating hundreds of thousands of views. She knew she had failed as a mother, she couldn't live with herself, so she took her own life. My world was shattered when I saw her hanging from the ceiling fan. I knew she was ashamed of me, of what I had become. I was completely alone, every single person sees me as a freak, I untied my mum and tied myself to the ceiling fan, attempting to end my life like my mum did. I was suffocating and feeling dizzy, it felt like I was finally giving up, suddenly I shot up in bed. I was back in Liverpool, I had been asleep! I saw my Mum, well and alive and Dad and Taylor with the nurses beside me. My Nana was also there. It hit me like a hurricane when they told me I've been in a coma for six months and it felt like years. There was no Julius, no William, I wasn't HIV positive, I was still that innocent girl from Liverpool. It was a relief, it was all just a nightmare. I've been stuck in the my own dreams. I saw by my right, a television picturing news that the King has finally revealed his ailing son's identity, he is prince William of England. I was shaken, so there really is a William, there must be Julius and Lucy too. It might have not been just a dream it must be more, perhaps a vision or perhaps I unknowingly travelled to the future. Taylor truly is a bit gay, this was one of the reasons my mum and dad are on the verge of splitting up. My mum doesn't want this, my dad, he is probably less concerned about our private lives. Perhaps I was in a coma for a reason, I must prevent this, It mustn't end like this. I now know what to do! Anastasia mustn't have a disgraceful end!