knocking on death's door

ivy pov I hate school I hate home I hate the fact I don't have anyone to talk to I hate life. as I kick a small rock on the floor almost tripping I catch myself quickly as I look to my side and seeing other kids my age 18 years old talking to each other and laughing I let out a sigh. making my way to a empty table I sit down and eat my lunch I'm almost done when Maddie and her friends come over seating next to me as they smile at me while Maddie gives me a fake smile . I would roll my eyes at her if I could but I'm too scared she's going to lock me in the storage room again. ' hi Maddie' I say quietly she let's out a loud laugh as she looks at me up and down as if looking for something to make fun of me. " well aren't you be nice today" Maddie says as she picks up my remaining food and throws it on my head I let out a gasp as tears start to come down my heart beating in my chest as I hear the laughs and stares at the other students. I quickly get up and run to the bathroom as I cry letting the tears run down my face as I look in the mirror at the mess I am food running down me and in my hair I try getting them out as I wash my hair the door burst open. Maddie and her friends circle around me as they start pushing me around each other like I'm a ball I feel dizzy and sick but I don't say anything. " stop" Maddie says as she pushes me onto the floor as she smiles saying " die" I start to cry more as she and her friends walk away leaving me there. the rest of the day gose like a blur for m e always the same thing I get to school and no one notices me until lunch time when Maddie bullys me and then I'm left the whole day in class feeling as if I don't even exist. I get home and the house is quite like always I make my way to the kitchen and I see a note on the fridge saying : me and your dad had to go to pairs for business black card under the coffee coaster have fun with your friends love you from mom. I roll my eyes wondering dose she even know I don't have friends I sigh and leave the kitchen going to my room as I lie down on my bed I let out a sigh. I felt tired I felt like I had No one on my side as I lie in bed just thinking I didn't want to watch new moives I didn't have anyone to hang out with I mean who would want to hang out with the lonely girl who always looks gloomy I sigh again closing my eyes for a bit I'm about to fall asleep when my phone pings I take it and I see it's a message from Maddie I still couldn't understand why I had her number I could delete at anytime I once did and the next day at school was worse then any other day after that I just listened to her I read the text saying she wants me to buy her cigarettes I throw my phone next to me on my bed getting up slowly I look at the time it's 6:45 pm i run my hand through my hair and make my way out still in school uniform I forgot to get changed as I realize this half way. I let out a frusted sigh turning around to go home when my ping again with Maddie asking where are you b***h I stop and stare at the message as I start reading all the other messages she's sent me before with more nasty comments sometime ago but in most of them they tell me to die and as if I felt a very heavy weight on my chest and shoulders I started running towards the river bridge as I get to the broken bridge that at the end of it is a huge lake I stare down at it as I reach the end of it. I gulp as I see the calm dark water just calming staying in place I take out my phone and as tears keep falling down my checks I wait for a hello from my mom or my dad. but I'm met with a voice mail I let out a cry softly as my body shakes my mind racing about all the things Maddie as said might just be true that no one will Care if I'm gone or not and that I'm just a waste of space. I throw my phone in the water as I watch it fall into the water with a silent splash from how high I was I take a deep breath calming my crying down as I look around Mr the trees moving in slow motion and everything feeling muffled I could hardly hear the cars on the other side as I take another step forward I let out another breath closing my eyes and I fall forward it's odd it didn't feel fast it felt slow as fall into the ice cold water I couldn't swim so I just let the water take over me as I felt myself be unconscious.