knocking on death's door

episode 3: try again

ivy pov

I woke up confused in the hospital I'm supposed to be dead why I'm I alive as I felt angry and sadness wash over me of thinking how pathetic I am that I can't even die properly.

the nurse comes up to me telling me that I'm all ready to leave but then she stops looking around and then back at me

" where's your guarding?" she ask

I look at her confused

" I'm sorry who now?" I ask confused

" The kid that brought you in he seemed to be same age as you said he was your guarding"

" someone brought me in?" I ask again not knowing who she's even talking about a kid my age who would that be I don't know anyone or any less a guy from my school.

"seems you don't remember much but come on dear I don't got all day sign the papers and go home" she snaps at me.

I nod getting up slowly from the bed going to the front desk as I sign everything in and I leave the hospital my nose is hit with fresh nightly sky as the stars shine brightly I'm about to take out my phone but then remembered I threw it in the water letting out a sigh.

I walk back home to an empty house as I switch on the lights and take in the space it was big and I felt so alone as I hug myself going into the kitchen to get something to eat as opening the fridge reliezing I didn't go shopping for anything I look at the empty fridge with just bottles of water in it

I make my way up to my room and and stare

at the wall it was white spotless clean my throat hurting from all the crying a part of me just wanted someone anyone to hold me even if it was just for few seconds it would be fine.

I felt so lonely

I seat up on my bed bringing my knees to my chest as I look at my close door hoping maybe someone would come in and give me a hug minutes pass and then an hour gose by and all I'm met with his the quite silences in the air.

I try phone my mom and dad again but like always voice mail I just stay like that as if my mind telling me you know no one will care if you dead or not you'll always be invisible and lonely.

I get up and start making my way to my parents bedroom and seach in my dad's draw for his sleeping pills I go back to My room and I start to take a each pill in my mouth until I feel dizzy.

I fall on the bed softly I felt so numb I didn't even feel like what I was doing was wrong as I close my eyes thinking I didn't even write a letter to my parents.

as darkness takes over me I feel my body is light not heavy as I open my eyes and I'm standing in some place I look around me I'm met with darkness no light just an endless void of darkness I look down and wonder was I even standing on anything.

I still felt a bit damp from the water and my hair damp as I remember I didn't get changed when I got home but then I remembered the pills the sadness I felt.

I remember falling asleep I look around me wondering if this is the place all dead people go

huh I guess I did die I say softly to myself as I look around and just see more darkness it was cold as I shiver

wait can dead people feel the cold I ask myself

as I start walking to who knows where i feel a brush of my shoulder as I turn to look around I'm met with the most attractive boy I've ever seen my age.

as he looks at me with his arms crossed over his chest he as a scowl on his face his deep grey eyes staring me down as if I did something wrong.

I try speaking but I can't seem to utter a word to him I had so many questions in the span of 5 seconds.

" what the hell are you doing here" he ask his voice low but husky with a hint of angry to it is the first thing he says to me.