How I feel for you

chapter seven

one long sip. After he's done I ask him, how do you feel? Fine. Would you like me to tell you or do

you just want to wait for it to happen? Tell me what? What did I do this time? I am almost one

hundred percent positive that Thomas is going to kill you. And why is that if I may ask? And you

actually think I will let him? Of course you're not going to sit there and do nothing, I say taking his

hand. But I would watch your back. And by the way I'm the only one that can call my curls

ridiculous. I don't remember saying anything about your curls, but now that I'm not high I stand

by what I said. They are totally ridiculous, but one hundred percent beautiful. I suggest getting

some sleep, the shake you just drunk will help you with not having a headache in the morning. He

starts to walk away, and I walk back to Thomas's room. Thomas is in his room pacing back and

forth. I come and wrap my hands around his waist. You ok I whisper in his ear? What the actual….

heck you still went and tried to help him after he sat there flirting with you right in front of me.

And not to mention after I told you he won't even let me help him when he gets like this. And I'm

his brother…. His brother…..Jan his brother. I know what you said but he actually did let me help

him. You're joking.. right? Thanks for the confidence in me, and yes he did let me help him.

Without a fight… why I don't know and I really don't give a freaking crap either. I'm sorry I upset

you by not listening to you, love, I'm sorry I didn't do anything about it when he was flirting with

me. But I'm not sorry I helped him. If he would have gotten hurt after he came knocking on your

bedroom door and we… if I… didn't help him and I didn't even try to make sure he was ok. I would

have blamed it on myself like I blamed my brother's death on myself. I'm very sorry I hurt you or

left you worrying about me. I never meant for you to feel like you need to worry about me or feel

hurt. I'm sorry… I'm sorry… I'm sorry. Thomas please forgive me. Jan, no I'm sorry he says pulling

me into a hug. I shouldn't have gotten mad like that, it's just that I finally have you and I would

hate it if I had to give you up for anything. My brother has always been my mother and father's

favorite and I'm always the one they expect to get good grades and do the right thing. And even

though he's the oldest I'm always expected to be the responsible one. When my mouth connects

with yours, when my breathing matches yours, when my arms and body is around yours, I feel like

I'm finally seen for who I am and who I want to be instead of what they want me to be. I feel like

I'm finally normal. I'm finally living. Living how I want to live. It's ok I say kissing him on the neck.

Then he's kissing me and scraping his teeth on my bottom lip. He licks the blood off and keeps

kissing me. He moves to my neck and all the sensitive spots behind my ear. Don't freak out please

he whispers so low I almost don't hear. I pull away just enough for him to see my face, don't freak

out about what? He pulls me closer kissing and scraping his teeth against all the sensitive spots

behind the same ear as before. He stops kissing my ear all together and is just scraping his teeth

now. I cry out in pain, he pulls away to see if I'm ok. I pull him back towards me, he starts

scraping his teeth against my ear sensitive once again. Harder and harder each time. I cry in so

much pain. It hurts so bad. Do it Thomas. Do it. Now. He goes still, please I beg please. He doesn't

at first but slowly he starts to again. Thomas, I trust you… I need you… I need this I say in almost

a moan. I'm in so much pain from wanting and desiring I'm shaking uncontrollably from head to

toe. I'm breathing so fast, but every breath is slowly burning. I'm about to start begging again,

when he sinks his teeth inside of my neck. I scream out from the sudden pain. I move my hair out

of his way for better access, and tangle my hands in his fluffy brown hair. He drinks and drinks, as

if he hasn’t fed in a very long time. All of my worries and all of the pain I have been feeling goes

away. Who would have known this is all I needed to feel like me again. For me to believe in my

mind and body. My knees are shaking so bad they give away, but instead of me falling he's holding