Forever Yours

Chapter 11

Rhys and Kai had left and for a moment I was left standing dumbfounded in the hallway. Why the f**k did they care? I'm an adult, well most of the time, but still. I can do what I want. I can eat what I want.

Ignoring their demand, I head off to class.

The day passed in a blur, I couldn't get this morning out of my head. I told myself I hated how small they made me feel. How I hated the way something inside me wanted nothing more than to listen to them. I told myself I hated it all. That I didn't need them.

I was surprised to see the guys already in the apartment when I got back. They were watching me with pointed eyes. Like they were waiting for me.

Shit. They definitely realized I didn't add anything to the grocery list. If looks could kill, I'd be six feet under.

"Heyyy. . ." I gave a small smile, trying to lighten the mood. Definitely the wrong move.

"Drop the f*****g act." Kai hissed. My head immediately snapped down, suddenly embarrassed and ashamed. I felt like I was in trouble.

"I'm sorry," I whispered, not daring to look at the two men who sat on the couch like they were patiently waiting to pounce on their prey. I felt small under their gaze. I could feel my little side wanting to come out, wanting to be taken care of, and especially wanting to apologize for not listening. Ugh I hated being a good girl sometimes.

"Come here." Rhys' tone was even, like a threat. I felt glued to my spot, too scared to listen. "Don't make me repeat myself, little girl." This time his voice was lower, almost a growl. Deciding to not test him further, I let my legs lead me to my death, like a lamb to the slaughter. I stop a couple feet in front of them, probably looking like a dog with its tail between its legs. I still didn't look at them, scared of what I'd see.

Suddenly I see an arm rise out of my peripheral vision. Panic surges through my body, images of my most recent foster father ran through my mind. The way he looked right before he'd hit me. The way he screamed as his hands and feet landed on me. I remembered how much it hurt the last time. I had forgotten to make breakfast and that was his last straw. He dragged me out of bed by my hair, throwing me on the floor. I remembered how his hands felt around my neck as he choked me out. The pressure on my windpipe, the way his hands bruised into my skin.

"Rain. . . Rain. . ." I could hear my name, but I couldn't tell who it was. The memory was too strong, too much. I was back there, right in that house, under that man. It wasn't till I felt a pair of arms wrap around me, the sound of someone's heartbeat loud in my ears.

Slowly the walls of that house faded from my mind's eyes. I could feel someone rubbing my back. I could feel the tears on my face, soaking into the person's shirt. The material rough on my face. The yells of that man fading as my hearing came back to the present. Slowly, I felt my breathing come back, the pressure leaving my throat.

"Sweetheart, come on breathe for me." It was Rhys. "It's just us, no one's here." I heard him whisper into my ear. "They can't hurt you, little one."

That broke me, something in me just broke at those words. I started crying harder than I already was, latching onto Rhys like he was the only thing keeping me here. I could hear myself screaming, I could feel the tears streaming down my face, and the pain in my chest. It felt like I was dying, these moments always felt like this.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry." I began pleading. "I'll listen, I promise," I sobbed.

"Shhh, it's okay. I promise, we'll never hurt you, sweetheart." Rhys spoke softly as he stroked my hair with one hand, his other wrapped tightly around me. "You have nothing to apologize for."

Minutes pass as I stay curled in Rhys' lap, I glance up and see Kai has left. I couldn't help the pout that made its way onto my lips. Did I scare him off? Rhys must have seen me looking around so he spoke.

"I told Kai to give us some space, thought maybe both of us would be too much." He explained. "Kai is still learning how to comfort people, he's very sweet once you get to know him," Rhys smiled as he talked about Kai.

I'd been watching them over the last month, the way they interacted with each other. They were definitely close friends, but let's just say I wouldn't be surprised if something more came out. I laugh to myself at the thought. They'd be a really cute couple.

I snuggled in closer to Rhys, letting his warmth console me. I wanted to stay just like this for as long as I could.

Oh no. No I can't think like that. I can't trust them, no matter how safe I want them to be. I continued to argue with my thoughts as I felt myself start to slip into little space. I felt myself relax deeper into Rhys, my mind going blank as I curled in on myself.

"Do you want to tell me what happened, sweetheart?" Rhys finally broke the silence.

I stay quiet for a moment before saying, "Just some bad memories that's all." Not wanting to dwell on it and to just stay little and safe.

"Okay. Well how about we go take a nap, that had to have taken a lot outta ya." He spoke softly as he continued to stroke my hair.

"Otay," I say softly, but I make no attempt at moving. Instead I allow myself to close my eyes, and think to myself that I'll get up in a minute. It's not till I wake up in my bed, the sun long gone, that I realize I fell asleep in Rhys' lap and he presumably carried me to bed. Well there goes the tough girl act, I think to myself as I lay in bed. My roommates will always see me as a little kid and while I'm a little I still wanna be seen as an adult. I hated how easily I broke, how easily I keep breaking.