Forever Yours

Chapter 8

I woke up the next morning, still feeling a little nauseous from yesterday. I groaned and rolled over, the smell of ginger and chamomile. I opened my eyes and saw a mug sitting on my desk with a little note.

Drink this little one, it'll help

Rhys probably left this for me when I was sleeping, I thought to myself. Sitting up, I take a few slow sips, savoring the warmth and sweetness of the tea. I don't remember the last time anyone has done something for me.

It made something twist inside of my chest, a weird mix of gratitude and guilt. I shouldn't get use to things like this. People never stay nice forever, not once they see how much of a mess I am.

Once finished with the tea, I head to start my day, not excited to see Kai this morning. He seemed so angry yesterday and, I don't know, it scared me. After getting dressed, I walk quietly into the kitchen. It seemed the guys were either still asleep or in class already. I washed my cup and headed to my room for a handful of cereal. I ate a few handfuls before heading out for the day.

~~~

The next few days seemed to drag on. The first week boring and repetitive. I tired to keep myself on a schedule; wake up, eat every other day, go to class, study in the woods, more class, go home, eat dinner on alternating days, homework, and sleep. I didn't see much of Kai or Rhys, they seemed just as preoccupied as me. I didn't mind, the time alone was nice, especially after everything with me getting sick. I was still embarrassed and I didn't know how to act around them. They may not have known I was little, but I did and that was enough for me to want to crawl into a hole and die.

It was finally the weekend, meaning I officially survived my first week of college! I couldn't be prouder of myself, my dreams are finally coming true!

The next week went about the same, my schedule soon becoming second nature. The same handfuls of cereal, the same packets of noodles, the same pain of hunger that seems to always linger. Every now and again I'd wake up to a cup of tea and a note telling me to drink it. Rhys was kind as ever. When he saw me, he'd ask about my day and I'd give a nice rehearsed smile and the same quick answer.

"My day was fine, what about you." It kept the conversation flowing but never made it so we had to focus on me. I had little time to be in little space which was upsetting. I just wanted to relax but college isn't made for relaxing. Sometimes I'd eat my noodles in the dining room with the boys. Rhys would start conversation while Kai just watched me. Not necessarily mean or anything, more like he was waiting for me to do something stupid again. Like he was waiting for me to embarrass myself. Or maybe he just didn't trust me cause I stole his cereal. Who knows honestly, I don't really care, I just came for my degree not roommate drama.

One night the guys decided to go out to a party, saying they'd be home late and to not wait up. I jumped at the chance to finally be little and do what I've wanted to do since day one; use the flat screen tv and curl up on that impossibly soft couch. Once Kai and Rhys were long gone, I ventured into the living room, Mr. Moo in hand, my baby blanket in the other. I snuggled into the couch and turned on a comfort show.

I must have fallen asleep at some point because the next thing I feel is something lifting me up. I squirm at first, still half asleep, before a hand brushed my head, a soft voice telling me to go back to sleep. With no energy, I listen to the voice and let myself drift back off, holding onto whoever was carrying me.

The next morning, the memories of last night came back and I couldn't help but wonder if it was Rhys or Kai who brought me to bed. I assumed it was Rhys, until I walked out my room and saw him lying on the couch with a hangover from hell.

"Party too hard?" I laughed as I sat at the island in the kitchen.

"Ugh, shhhh, don't be so loud," he groan, turning over as he tried to drown me out.

"Don't mind him, he's always like this after a party," Kai chuckled as he walked out of his room. His hair was wet from a shower and he was in nothing but gray sweatpants. I feel my face heat up as I realize he's in fact standing here shirtless.

I laugh nervously, trying to make sense of last night. If Rhys was drunk then who brought me to bed? Oh no, not Kai, anyone but Kai. I had Mr. Moo and my blanket! Ugh he definitely thinks I'm childish. Embarrassed at the thought I say a quick goodbye before disappearing back into my room.

Why couldn't I have a single week without embarrassing myself in front of my roommates. They are going to think I'm weird and childish just like everyone else.

I groan, crawling back into bed, willing the world to just swallow me up.