Chapter 1 - Whispered Shadows
Amara's POV
The air around me breathes heavier than usual, nay, the air feels like it’s holding its breath. It was different tonight, I was not supposed to be here, not like this, not in Ryder’s chambers in the dead of night. My head warns me, but I can’t help but keep on moving forward.
I reassure myself it’s the pull, the inexplicable, the magnetic feeling I get whenever I am near him. Each step into this stone corridor is quieter than the last, and my heart races. Dancing shadows dance across the walls with the flick of the dim torchlight, like they’re alive, feeling what I’m about to do.
I stand outside of his door and hover my hand near the doorknob. Doubt whispers to me. What if I’m wrong? What if he doesn’t feel the same? I can, however, feel my pulse pounding in my neck and I begin to push the thoughts away, take a deep breath, and turn the handle.
The whole room is silver like a soft glow. The open window lets in moonlight, illuminating all in its quiet, ethereal radiance. I sit by the window, looking out at night, Ryder with his back to me, his outline against the night. I’m surprised he’s still, distant for a moment. He is like one of the shadows, touched by nothing, untouchable, so far off my reach.
“Ryder?” My voice is a breath, barely more than that.
He doesn’t move. It’s as though for a heartbeat he hasn’t heard me. He turns slowly then, his head, his eyes glistening with the moonlight as it catches in them. His look towards me is cold, detached.
“How did you manage to get here Amara?” His voice is calm, emotionless perhaps even slightly irritated, just beneath the surface.
My stomach twists in nerves as I swallow. I can’t turn and run, part of me wants to, but just not yet. I’ve come this far. There is something I have to say. I walk into the room, close the door behind me, whispering, 'I had to see you.'
We are suspended in silent tension and fragility. I want to say something, the words clamber in my throat, crammed in, too many to try and force into a single act.
I jump up, stuttering, 'I know this sounds… strange.' I think there’s something… something bigger connecting us.” If we’re—” I take a breath. “We’re fated mates, Ryder.”
He doesn’t move, doesn’t blink for a moment. A slight smirk tugs at the comer of his mouth, cold and derisive. He repeats, as if the words were ridiculous, ‘Fated mates?’ “Amara, you’re dreaming. You’re reading too many old stories.”
I shake my head; I say ‘no.’ “This isn’t just some story. I know it… that pull… like we’re supposed to be together. I think my soul recognized yours the moment I met you.”
He finally stands up, stealing the remaining breath from my lungs as he reaches up and narrows eyes, the piercing glare unblinking. “You think you know me? Because you have a feeling, you think there’s something there between us? That’s pathetic, Amara.”
The sting was sharper than I thought. I refuse to let the hurt show, I hold my ground. But you can deny it as much as you want but I know you feel it too. You look at me the way I look at you.”
A low bitter sound, almost echoing through the room, he laughs. 'You’ve allowed your own fantasies to get the better of you.' Amara, there is nothing between us. Nothing real.”
The words as they come hit me like a physical blow and shatter the hope that has been growing in my chest. But I can’t give up, not yet. “Why are you doing this?” Despite myself, my voice breaks as I ask. “What made you push me away?”
Jaw tightens, steps closer and I can feel the coldness now emanating from him. “I don’t want you, Amara, because…” “I don’t buy in fate, destiny or any of the bull you’re clinging to.”
His words crack my heart into pieces and the tears threaten to spill. “But… I thought…” My voice is barely audible, but I whisper. “Even if you only cared a little, I thought you cared.”
His voice is final, cutting. His face a mask of disdain, he takes another step closer. “I don’t need anyone. ‘Least of all you,’ someone like you.”
My legs become weak, my heart grows heavy with rejection. It is so raw and real and the pain is overwhelming, but I manage to lift my chin up, to look him in the eye. I shake with tears, but in one steady voice I tell him, “I’m not going to give up on us.” “I know the truth, you can lie to yourself. I know what we could be.”
A shadow crosses Ryder’s face. His voice drops to a whisper, his harsh, venomous. “Then you’re a fool, Amara. I don’t want you. Amara Fairchild ... I reject you.”
These words cut me deep, deeper than any wound. My breath catches, the room is spinning. His face inches from mine, his eyes cold and unfeeling, like looking into the heart of winter, he’s standing so close.
I open my mouth, to say something, anything, and no words come out. The truth of his rejection crashes over me like a tidal wave making me paralyzed, drowning in disbelief.
He turns from me and I am left standing in the broken bits, fading out into the darkness of the room just as he does.
