A Night With You

Chapter 13: Rules

Vin was attentive about the things that Missis Lina taught him. He already knew how to cook adobo and pancit.

"So now, we can all eat our lunch. Later, I will teach you basic things about the do's and dont's in the Philippines."

They ate the bountiful and delicious meal and soon the two of them seated on the living room of the house. Mister Carlos went out to do something while the children went back to school.

"So that first thing that you need to learn is how we respect the elders. We say mano po and then we will hold their hand and the back of their hands must touch our forehead." The woman demonstrated what to do.

"Next is we say Salamat po when we say our gratitude. 'Po' is the term that we use to respect the ones that we are talking to, especially elders. They really are meticulous about this. You need to always remember that. Once you forget about that, you will be branded as disrespectful."

Vin put all of the informations on his notepad so that he can't miss a single detail.

"Next is courtship. Since you are pursuing a Filipina, it is a bit hard to ask her hand for a marriage. We, the parents of our girls has these... protocols and practices that we follow for a long time now. When you pursue your girl you must first gain the trust of the parents. They must like you first before they agree to let their lady get married to a man. Sometimes they will give you difficult tasks to test you. They might let you fetch water for them. These waters does not come from faucets but from deep well or artesian well. Take note, you need to fill all the pails up and anything that they use as containers to stock water."

"That's it? Maybe I can do that."

"Huh! It's not just fetching water. Do you know how to chop firewoods with the use of axe? They will make you do that. They will ask you to plant rice too if they are a family that lived on the province and especially those who have farms."

"This is getting difficult." Vin scratched his head. Missis Lina laughed a bit.

"It is. This is the way that the parents can test whether you are really serious about their daughter or not. You will not try to do those things if you really don't want to pursue their daughter. They will test if you are really the right man for their daughter too. They will not agree to marry you two if you fail a test. The fathers are really protective over their daughter. They have this jungle bolo or we call that itak ready once there is a man who will court their lady."

"Will they kill me?"

"This is a test of bravery. They will see if you are brave enough to fight for your love. If you never back down no matter how they try to point the sharp blade on your throat then they will let you do the courting process."

"That's what I will do? All of those?"

"Yes but not just that. All throughout the process, you will never get close to their daughter."

"Huh? Why?"

"Just because. Their daughter must stay inside their house. When you two needs to talk, either of the parents will be with you. So no unnecessary extra moves that are really hinting something dark. If they will give you a chance to talk to each other then all you can do is talk to each other with the distance of at least one meter from each other." Upon hearing those words Vin's heart really aches for his love. How can she hug Kira?

"Can I really not touch her? Even just hold her hand?"

"You can't do that. You can hold her hand once you are already a couple that are blessed by the family. So you really need to pass the tests if you want her. We are not like any other countries that are liberated. We still practice superstitions most of the time. You know, just a day to day guide."

"For how long will they do that?"

"Until they are satisfied enough. If they think you deserve then you get the girl. It takes up to months. And once you become a couple still there are restrictions."

"Again?" Vin couldn't believe how hard it is to have her back.

"One, you need to ask - always for permission if you go on a date. Two, there is always a curfew hour. Most requests that you need to be at home at six in the evening. If you failed to do so, the parents will not let you be together ever again."

"So curfew time and permission to date. Anything else?"

"The sign of respect is a must." Vin nodded but abruptly stopped when he heard the next words.

"If there is someone else that courts her too..."

"What?! No way! I will not permit it! God! I can move mountains and hell to make sure she'll end up with me."

"What a funny young man. You don't have the right or authority to say that. Only the parents can tell. If there is another man who will court her then the competition tightens more. He will be your competitor. Your failure is his victory. So you need to perfect everything in order to win their favor. Because you will be given the same opportunity to do the process. Only your efforts can determine your prize."

"I don't want to lose her ever. I already proposed to her."

"Your proposal is invalid. Remember you are in the Philippines and the rules here are primarily applied in everything. So you need to bear with the pain to gain."

"I will. I must not let Kira be on the arms of other man. What else do I need to learn Missis Lina. I need to study those too."

"Very determined indeed. But here's a tip from me. Most families here are patriarchal. So you need to empress the father first. Be brave enough to face his wrath if ever. Then gain the mother's trust."

"Why is that?"

"Oh! Even the house is patriarchal but it is always the woman who decides, tho not literally. Once you are trusted by the mother of the girl, the mother will be most likely to accept you into the family and the head of the family which happens to be the father will always agree to the wife. Remember! House rules are wife's rules. The men here really loves there women. They pass all those tests before they were married. The husband's love for their wife is real. Another thing is. You can only be under one roof once you are already married. The parents will hand their daughter to you and entrust you to take care of their daughter. That's how sacred marriage and courtship are here in the Philippines." After the long explanation, Missis Lina smiled at Vin.

"It's really interesting Missis Lina. You've got a really colorful culture. I really wish that I can pass all the test."

"Do not just wish. Go for it! When you bring flowers to your girl always give a flower to the mother too. It's like a double courting. The mother is the one who will test how sweet and gentleman you are. And when you are on dates, don't try to kiss the girl."

"For real? Why can't I? We are on a date?"

"One of the members of the family - mostly close relatives are tasked to spy on your date. And advances like this will be really alarming. They will think that you just want to marry their daughter for lust and some sort."

Another on his final note. Philippines has a complicated style of courtship.