CHAPTER FOURI LAY AWAKE IN bed thinking of how much my life had already changed in the last five years in both amazing and confusing ways. I found the small village of Varni, and had the excitement and great joy of finding my family in Italy. I had to deal with the shock and deep grief of losing my wife, the uncertainty and uneasiness of starting a new life in Italy and the confusion of my relationship with Cindy. Yes, I was deeply in love with a married woman whom I felt was deeply in love with me and yet very loyal to her husband and family. Were my deep feelings for her because it was safe? Was this the same kind of relationship that my wife had with someone whose letters she had kept?
We were together for 30 years and I had no idea or hint of that relationship. Do we ever know a perso
