Shade of Human

Five - SoH

Five:

Enduring the trials and tribulations of being the centerpiece of the teen zoo that was my school was challenging. My anger and my outrage boiled beneath the cool calm of my surface expressions. I'd been on the opposite side of these tracks all my life. I had been raised in a loving adoptive home, with decent parents. I had never wanted for friends. I have always been considered talented in physical activities and my sense of humor landed me a lot of positive attention. Add to all this my growth and attractive appearance as a teen, and you have the recipe for a queen in the making.

Moving beyond what was, is more difficult than I had ever imagined when I sat in my cell contemplating how this would all unfold for me once I was released back into the wild. I had never been disillusioned that I would walk back in and seat myself at the head of the table again. Girls with records don't get to be the queen. We are to be feared and avoided like the plague.

Being the glutton for punishment that I was, I went to my soccer practice since I was still a rostered member of the team. My expectations were simple, I expected to be allowed to play again. I would not take any prisoners as far as this was concerned.

My teammates were still changing as I entered the locker room. Their curious and mystified stares were painful for me. These had been the girls I spent the bulk of my youth with. Many of us coming up together in junior league soccer. Some of us even having taken a trip to see Manchester United play at their home in England. We may not have been besties, per se, however, we were all tight.

"You, Graves, what are you doing in here?! This is for players only!"

The tall Amazonian coach roared at me in that distinctive alpha female tone of hers. She's often barked at me before, but this was the very first time it felt hostile. I looked over at her standing in her doorway with her hands on her hips. She was wearing spandex—which was a crime against fashion! She was in her forties and had caught the tail end of the eighties wave of wearing strange clothing. (Not that the nineties were any better! I mean, come on people, we have worked tirelessly for an entire generation to rehab the fashion industry after those two travesties!)

"It's time for practice, did I miss my letter telling me I was cut from the soccer team?"

I calmly inquired and arched my brow imperially at her in question. Coach Jones looked me over, her hazel eyes searching me as if she had yet to discover some hidden truth.

"I didn't think it was necessary to officially cut you from the team. You were locked up, and I didn't think you'd dare to show your face on this team again."

She bluntly stated. I shrugged and tried not to let the others see how painful her words really were.

"I had time to check the school handbook. I have committed no illegal act on school property and I have not let my grades slip below a seventy-five percent average. I was never officially expelled, or even suspended by the school. I was still completing my classes while I was in juvie. Therefore, you have no legal leg to stand on to cut me from the team. I tried out last year. I was a starting member of the team. It would be detrimental to the team itself to cut me purely on your own prejudice."

My lengthy statement had several slack jaws in the room. The coach growled at me and strode over. Yanking me by the arm and pulling me into her office. The door thundered shut behind us. I nearly could have sworn I saw splinters flying.

"Listen to me you smartass little s**t!"

She started with her nostrils flared.

"You burned down a f*****g house. Then you just waltz back in here, as if nothing happened. You have a lot more nerve than I would have ever imagined, and you're a lot more self-absorbed than I first accounted for. I don't need my girls consorting with known criminals, you being the criminal."

She said, I bent away from her firm, griping hand, and I twisted my arm free. I did so without decking her, I might add. Which was something, considering what happened to the last b***h that grabbed me!

"One awful choice while grieving a death does not a criminal make, you f*****g shrew! How would you feel if the person you loved in this world was just murdered in front of you and then you had to pretend it was all an accident?!"

I could have slapped myself for the massive foot I had lodged in my throat. I sputtered and backpedaled quickly.

"That house should never have been allowed to stand, considering the state of it. I did everyone a favor. I even paid my time for said favor. None of this happened at school and I have a stellar scholastic reputation. I am nearly finished with the entire sophomore curriculum, months in advance, I might add. Your prejudice is no dif than people hating people for skin color. Once you stop and get what the sitch is here, you're gonna realize that if I were the b***h you think I am, I would sue your ass. And, if I was the criminal you think, you would be collecting teeth from this disgusting powder pink floor right now!"

She stared at me dumbfounded and crossed her arms over her chest.

"Come back tomorrow, you will start with the JV squad. I may not have grounds to drop you yet, but I will not have you infecting my Varsity girls' team!"

My heart was both broken and elated at the same time. I had won the war, but I had conceded a terrible loss to attain victory. I have lost the respect of my coach and my team, all because I saw Ariel die and I protected her grieving parents. There is no question to me, I did the right thing. Three months in juvie, versus a few years in the real deal, no question. Her mom would have been shattered or dead by the end. Ariel would never have forgiven me if I allowed her rents to go down like that!

***

After the blow-out in the locker room, I noticed a few new hashtags appearing on my media. Mainly "Hashtag Carrie." Which was a reference to the classic psychotic breakdown involving a telekinetic chick? The comparison was ironic to me since I apparently had some powers. Just not ones I understood. I killed the specter, hell I felt it in my arms. It was beyond me how I could tough a ghostly thing. I was trying ridiculously hard not to get lost on that topic. Down that path lies madness and crazy Ville!

"Hey, what the hell happened in there?! I mean, I only have the word of the soccer bimbos to go from right now!"

Clarke exclaimed as he trots up to me.

"Damn girl, I thought we were going to calmly ease back into our life!"

I cut him a very sassy look and said, "Apparently, I don't ease all that well. I went in, saw the bitchy vibe of the bitchy soccer tribe. Suddenly I ream that coach verbally. On the other hand, I won, said reaming!"

Clarke shook his head and sighed.

"You are totally missing the damn point here, Hannah! You really need to learn to control that alpha chick dominance of yours. Cause it will cause you a lot of unnecessary trouble!"

Clarke sighed as if exhausted by me and the drama I was dragging down on him. Part of me felt the sting of guilt at what he must experience, but the other part was too hot with the molten blaze of fury to care.

"Coach b***h-face can be thankful I did not break her teeth out of her skull! Besides, think about how this all affects me. I cannot even f*****g tell the truth! I must own a f*****g lie, just to keep Ariel's parents safe! I am not at all sure they would not get charged now if I told the truth. I am in it up to my f*****g eyes!"

Clarke gave me a repentant look and said, "Hon, don't you think it would save everyone a lot of grief if you just told what happened? I mean, you might get your life back and your peeps would herald you a hero."

I shook my head and sighed. I brushed my fingers through my brown hair.

"I don't really care enough about what people say or think of me, to risk Ariel's folks. Her mom would never survive jail. Besides, I agree with the whole burn it all down, approach to grieving. I look at it as paying for facilitating and covering up for the actual crimes. However, I am not a f*****g snitch. I will wear this forever, and I will learn to deal. It just sucks right now."

I sulked. I sat beside Clarke, who was already pulling me tightly against his side like a protective and supportive older brother.

"Yeah, s**t, I'm sorry. Just a lot of mean girl bull s**t for one day. I'm not used to having my bestie in the firing line either. They are usually too scared of you to pick on you."

I hummed in agreement. I have never been afraid of a fistfight, and I have also never been slow to retort people with a verbal altercation. Most saw it as too much trouble to ever attempt to mess with me. I was too likely to turn on them and defend myself. I have never been a bully. I never gave other girls s**t or made-up stories. I truly believe I have stayed above the gossip grapevine completely. Many girls hated me because they saw me as being too arrogant or too stuck on myself to resort to their petty tricks. While I considered the gossip and the games petty, I never looked down on people.

I have always been personified as a jock-type girl. I have always been a person who could float in many social circles because I did not limit my perception of peoples or groupings. However, coming back from a stint in juvie, I was now without a solid support system, because I had always been disinterested in maintaining a click or trope. My vanished popularity was all tied to the hot jock goddess vision people seemed to have of me. People create idols in their fantasies, images that they themselves can never achieve or obtain. Now that I have fallen. I am a tainted seed, and a convicted juvenile offender, no one wishes to romanticize my life or envy me.

"Hey, there's that detective chick!"

Clarke exclaims. He points off towards the left and ahead of me. My eyes follow his finger to the source. I stare at the most breathtaking wheat-blonde-haired, slender, gorgeous pale beauty I have never imagined was possible. Everything about her screamed s*x and candy to me! She was the very personification of the perfect woman. She was nearly six-feet-tall. I liked taller girls for some reason. Ariel had been an exception.

"Well, I guess it's time to figure out what she's doing here and what she knows."

I said, Clarke looked at me as if dreading what might come next.