The Beta's Inner Alpha

Chapter 2

My mom walks up behind me, looking into the mirror alongside me.

She’s stunning in her chocolate floor-length dress that she’s adorned with golden accents, bringing out the subtle hints of gold in her own brown eyes. Her long hair that she usually keeps down is styled elegantly in a bun that has braids and small pieces of gold jewelry throughout it.

She smiles as she looks at us together before noticing my swollen eyes.“My love, I know that you hate wearing dresses, but it’s just for a few hours, until everyone leaves for the pack run. After that, you can slip into whatever you want to wear. Heck, run around in a burlap sack with sandals if you want to. Just don't wear socks with your sandals, gives off dad vibes," she finished, scrunching her face in mock disgust.

I smile at that image but am still not happy.

“Mom, why couldn’t I have worn a suit or at least pants? It’s not like dresses are a requirement for the Alpha ceremony.”

Mom sighed softly. This had been something we had talked about on multiple occasions. I already knew the answer, but there was the faintest sliver of hope that if I asked enough times, the answer would change.

“I know, my love. I wouldn’t have put you in any dress if it was my choice, but my hands are tied. Alpha Donovan insisted that all girls wear dresses and the boys wear suits.”

The fact that it was Donny that had made this request always made my heart wrench. He knew how much I despised dressing up, especially if it meant I had to wear any type of girly clothes.

I originally thought it had just slipped his mind with everything going on and had spoken to him privately about it. After a few minutes of back and forth, he yelled at me for the first time, saying that he was Alpha and I had to do what he said. Not even my own parents or Alpha Bronach yelled at me like that.

I stopped asking but not out of respect for my soon to be Alpha, but rather out of fear. There was something about the way he said it that sent a shiver down my spine. I can’t explain why, but since then, looking at him scares me.

I know that he is upset by this. He’s tried on multiple occasions to apologize for yelling at me, though he has still refused to change the dress code.

I don’t know how to feel. I want to forgive him, as he’s always been like an older brother to me, but I just can’t shake the feeling that something has changed within him. Maybe it’s just the stress of taking over the pack before he turns 20 or having no parental guidance during a big moment in his life.

Either way, I hope things can go back to the way they were before.

“Ash, please stop wringing your hands so hard. You’re going to hurt yourself.”

Mom’s hands were cupping my own, trying to gently pull them apart. I hadn’t even noticed that I was moving my hands, let alone hurting myself in the process.

I looked down at my hands to see fresh scratch marks and red patches from giving myself a burn.I quickly let go of my hands and muttered out a sorry.

Mom continued to look at me with concern. I hadn’t told anyone about the incident with Donny and had no plans on explaining why I basically froze anytime he was mentioned. Most just assumed I was upset by Alpha Bronach’s passing.

I saw my mom’s eyes changing colors. I knew that her wolf, Marcella, could sense something was wrong and really wanted to come forward. I really didn’t want to talk to her about this, as I wasn’t even really sure what I was upset about.

Trying to move forward as quickly as possible, I bring up the first thing that comes to mind.“So is Julian kicking up as much of a fuss as I am? I’m sure he’s working a way out of his clothes as we speak.”

I could tell by how her eyes continued to change for a few more seconds that she wasn’t convinced that she should drop the topic, but luckily for me, she did.

“I swear, your father and I are going to have to put him in steel clothes one of these days. Keeping him from stripping out of his diaper is hard enough, let alone that ridiculously puffy white suit Mother got for him.”

Grandma had been so excited about this being his first formal event that she had gone a bit wild with the outfit. Even Victorian babies would be baffled by the size of his outfit.

I told mom about the image I had of him as a puff pastry and we both started giggling together.

“Can I join in the fun?”

Dad was standing in the doorway, holding a squirming cotton ball that had Julian’s face.

“I can’t believe you would leave me to suffer with this leprechaun while you got to have such pleasant conversations with our Ash.” He faked a look of hurt while putting his hand over his heart.

Apparently, Julian wasn’t a fan of being called a leprechaun. With a look of defiance, he gathered what he could of dad’s auburn and gray beard into his little hands and gave it a good yank.

Dad growled out in pain, and Mom quickly went to her mates side, passing off Julian to me as she tended to dad. Seeing as he was in a yanking mood, I can understand why mom handed him to me, as I was wearing no accessories but mom practically had a sign saying “please yank” with all the sparkling jewelry she was wearing.

For some weird reason, Julian also behaved best for me. He rarely moved around when I held him and would even reach out for me to hold him even when he was already being held by others. I could tell it sometimes hurt my mom’s feelings that he seemed to prefer me, but she was also grateful when he was getting rowdy to be able to have me calm him down.

After a few minutes of having mom’s undivided attention, dad finally looked over at me.Thanks to everything that had just happened, my face finally had time to calm down so I no longer looked like a crying mess.

“Ash, how are you handling everything?”

I knew he was referring to me wearing a dress. Both of my parents were aware that I hated wearing any feminine clothing. They didn't quite understand why, but they had always been supportive, saying they just want me to be as happy and healthy as I can be, even if that meant I couldn't be their little girl.

“I’m okay right now. Just mentally preparing for standing on stage in front of our pack and the neighboring packs.”

Dad nodded his head.“We’ll do what we can to keep the ceremony as short as possible, so at least the stage portion will be short. How do you plan on dealing with greeting our guests?”

Often, those that were a part of the Alpha’s family would make sure to greet guests as they arrived and be good hosts throughout the night. However, since Donovan was an only child and both his parents had passed away, it was now up to us as the Beta family to take over this duty. The Gamma family would also help in this, but I wouldn’t be able to stay hidden away or off playing with the other kids as I would in past events.

As the eldest ‘daughter’ of the Beta family, I was expected to take part. I’m by no means shy and have been receiving etiquette lessons for many years and even gone to events where I was able to practice my skills. My performance was always perfect, but that’s all it was, a performance.

I was unable to be Ash, the 14 year old kid who enjoyed playing outside in the dirt with his friends. Instead, I had to play the part of Aisling, the princess who would never be caught with even a speck of dust on her clothes.

“Most people will be focused on Donovan, so I’ll remain present but stay by your sides as much as possible. Speaking mainly when spoken to. If asked to introduce myself, I’ll give my full name, adding that I prefer to go by Ash.”

I could tell by the looks of disappointment on their faces, my parents weren’t happy with this answer, but I really didn’t know what other way to handle things. I had no way of knowing who would accept me for who I am, and I didn’t want to find out the hard way in a room full of elders and other high-class werewolves.

Mom was the first to confirm the plan, “Okay, love. We’ll stay by your side and inform others of your preferred name only when asked to introduce you.”She gave me a small hug before taking Julian, who had finally stopped moving around in my arms and was even taking a nap.

Mom walked out the door with Julian before dad approached me.“Ash, I want you to know that no matter what happens, I’m there to back you up. Don’t hesitate to call out to me if you feel like people are crossing your boundaries. Even if it’s an elder or a visiting Alpha, no one has the right to make you feel anything about yourself that you don’t want to. You got that?”

I felt a little emotional hearing his speech, even Zavier purred in my head hearing dad prepare to protect me. However, I didn’t want to cry again and have to worry about showing a red swollen face to the guest, so I quickly nodded before giving him a hug. He gave me one of his great big bear hugs and whispered to me, “I’m proud of you, my son.”

Oh, goddess, here come the tears.

I worked to command my tears to stay in my eyes before releasing our hug and giving him an annoyed look.“Thank you, now get out of here before you make me run away to hide in the hole I dug the other day.”

He boomed out a laugh before walking out and leaving me on my own again.

I knew I only had about 15 more minutes before I was expected downstairs, so I went to the bathroom to splash my face with some cold water before having to continue creating the persona of Aisling.

I hate wearing makeup almost as much as I hate wearing girly clothes, but I knew I couldn’t walk out there with none on. It would look off with my fancy dress to have no makeup on, and I really needed it to help get rid of any leftover signs of my distress.

After putting on my makeup and adding a few gold pieces of jewelry, I quickly ran out of the room so I wouldn’t have to look at myself in the mirror any longer.

Hesitant step after hesitant, I slowly descended down the stairs. It helped to center me, aa if with every step I was becoming more and more Aisling. Ash was standing at the top of the stairs, watching over me as I walked towards center stage.

As I turned the final corner, I felt heat rush over me as those green eyes I've come to know so well landed on me.