My Third Chance

Chapter 3

I don't know for how long I was crying for. All I know that at that moment I let it all out because for me there won't be another time that I would let that happen.

By the time I was done crying, Milly was still hugging me, comforting me. 'How was I supposed to tell her what happen? But she needs to know what happen...'

"Are you better?"

I just nod my head yes.

"Would you tell me what happened that had you like that?"

I nod again yes. She doesn't pressure me to say anything. And I'm grateful for that. I really don't know how to tell her. I do the only thing that I can think of.

"I need some air to get my head clear."

Milly gets it. I don't have to say much for her to get it. I want to see my baby boys, but I don't want them to see me like that, so I go to the bathroom closer to me to wash my face, thanking Milly for putting them in the room farthest from us.

When I was done and look presentable enough, I went to get the kids. I opened the door, and they look up. Both of them had this huge smile on their faces. They came running to me screaming

"Mami, mami we miss you so much!"

Getting on my knees to give both of them kisses. I heard behind me Milly fake cough to get our attention.

"Let's go to the playground that's behind this building. Tristan and Magnus can play while we chat for a while. If that's okay with you Mila." Milly looks at me waiting.

"Yeah, that's fine by me." then I turn to my kids and tell them "let's go!"

We followed Milly outside. Like she said the playground was behind her building.

On the way there I clear my head and try to convince myself that she wasn't going to leave me. I know I sound weird but she's my mother, well like a mother to me and it would really hurt me if she left me too. That was my fear right now. Shaking my head to get rid of those thoughts. When I look around I notice that we were in front of a bench.

We sat on the bench and I told the kids to go and play where I could see them. They nodded their head and left to play. We were quite for a while until she broke the ice.

"Now mi hija, (my daughter) what's bothering you? You left so happy and then you came back like that. What happened?"

You could see in her eyes that she was worried even when she was trying to hide it. Taking a deep breath and look at her right in the eye.

"Mami I'm so lost. I don't know what to do. I feel like I'm a failure. I don't know what I did for him to do that to me..." I said feeling like I got something stuck in my throat.

Milly looked at me confuse for a moment, but then she took my face in both her hands to wipe a tear that fall of without me noticing. And calmly said, "now why you don't start from the beginning so I can understand. Why do you feel like a failure?"

And with just one look from her I told her everything....

When I finish telling her I wanted to cry again but Tristan and Magnus were close to us. That was enough to hold my tears in. Knowing that she could see them on my eyes.

"I'm so sorry mami"

When I said that Milly looked at me right in the eye what came out of her mouth was something I did not expect.

"Why the f**k are you sorry for?"

"For not being enough for Tony. For letting myself go. For focusing on the kids to much. Because my marriage didn't work out. Be...."

"Oh, hell to the NO! Don't you dare put the blame only on you!" she said pointing a finger at me. Then she continues.

"This marriage is a both ways street. And you are more than enough for him. Everybody can see how much love you have for him by just seeing you look at him. Yes, when we have kids our priorities change. It's not just the husband and wife anymore. There's this bundle of joy that needs to be taken care of. You been stuck in that house for years since you had the kids. You only been out to take the kids to school and to their appointments. YOU made sure that my son had hot food on the table every time that he came home from work. I know this because I had seen it. And when he came from work YOU made sure the kids were already ready for bed."

Giving me a pointed look, she continues, "YOU have the house clean. Wash his clothes. He never had to lift a finger in that house. And you spoiled him too much. And you are telling me that the way of him showing gratitude is by having an affair?... I can't believe him! What else was he waiting to get from you? You even stayed in the house being a housewife because he didn't want you to go to work."

She took a deep breath and sat next to me. With her giving this speech I didn't notice that she stood up. I smile a little at that.

Milly took both of my hands in hers trying to comfort me.

Holding my hands, she said, "I'm sorry mi hija (my daughter) I know this must be hard for you. Now you have to start over and..." Milly opened her eyes so big that I thought they were going to come out and fall on me. And worst of all she has this huge smile that's freaking the hell out of me. Then she looks to where the kids were and that smile transforms into a sad one. She pats my hands and now I know she's trying to comfort herself. She's lost in her own mind.

Meanwhile here I am looking at her confuse as hell because I have no clue what's going in that head of hers. I'm about to ask her but she looks at me with a sad smile.

"Mila, mi hija, (my daughter) I have a proposition for you."