TTMA [Complete ✔️]

18. Memories

Knox's P.O.V

We sat in comfortable silence as my mate ate and I watched her. I had passed her the tray of chicken noodle soup and orange juice, which she seemed to really be enjoying. She was trying to eat slowly, but starvation was getting the best of her.

I couldn't help but smile as I watched her bring spoonful after spoonful of soup into her mouth. She was finally able to eat without being punished for it, she could eat, knowing she was safe. It brought me a certain peace, knowing she would never have to beg for food again.

Her body was going to become stronger, her confidence would start to grow and soon enough I would meet the real Dalia. The one, that shared her feelings, hobbies, and memories without being afraid. The one, I would make new memories with.

I always thought that I had been deprived of happiness during my life, whether it was because of him or because I punished myself, but seeing my mate and understanding her situation, I was far from even comparing.

As much as I despise what happened to her, I was also proud. Proud of her for not giving up, for fighting harder than I ever could. I was proud because such a small body held such a large warrior. No matter what, I would make sure she knew it, knew just how special she really was.

It brought me back to the situation in the kitchen. My mate, almost being hit in her own pack. The moment I saw Paisley getting close to her I lost it. I was ready to tear her limb by limb as I do with my enemies, but I didn't. For the first time, I was able to reign not only my anger, but also my wolf's.

"She's changing us!" Kane acknowledged proudly.

"Yes, yes, she is!" I replied, going back to my thoughts.

Seeing her today, so close to being hurt, I felt possessive. I had never wanted something to be only mine, something, or someone, that no one else could touch, let alone hurt. The anger, that burst through my veins made me realize something I hadn't until now.

It wasn't only the bond, it wasn't Kane, it wasn't me only trying to keep her safe, I was in love. I loved her like I hadn't loved anybody in my life. Every morning, the first thing I thought about was her, every night before I got to close my eyes due to the comfort of her scent, I thought about what it would be like to fall asleep in our bed with her in my arms, rather than in a chair. When I was with my sister, all I thought about was how she was feeling. I genuinely, truly loved her, and today just proved it.

I even managed to hold her. She allowed me to carry her, feel her body against mine. I had carried her before, but this time it was different. This time, she allowed me.

"And didn't puke!" Kane snickered, but I didn't pay attention. The feel of her skin against mine lingered as I tried to savor it.

The tingles, that shot throughout my body while I held her were something I couldn't explain. It was like she fit perfectly, perhaps, the feeling of comfort and happiness. Those tingles were all I could think about, the way they traveled through my body and the warmth they spread, something I wanted to feel forever.

She was trying to keep her body as far away as she could at first, but only seconds later and she stopped fighting. Not only that, but she moved closer, resting her head on my chest. My heart started beating so fast I was afraid I would wake her up, but hers was slow for once. She finally felt safe, even if it didn't last long.

She was no longer afraid of me in her sleep, now all that was left was for her to not be afraid of me when she was awake.

I didn't break her trust, the second we walked into the room, I laid her on the bed, covering her with the soft blankets until the doctor came to check up on her. It made me long for more, long to hold her in my arms again, but I had to be patient. She was warming up, it was only a matter of weeks until she was able to talk normally to me and maybe even fall in love later down the line.

"Can I ask you something?" I asked, hoping she would agree. To my surprise, her head snapped to me and she nodded, putting the spoon on the tray. "Why were you in the kitchen?"

She stiffened, lowering her head so I couldn't see her face. I couldn't tell if she was going to cry or if she was embarrassed, but I mentally beat myself up for pressuring her. I was about to tell her to forget I ever said anything, but she took a deep breath and began to answer me.

"I-I had a n-night-nightmare." She admitted as she fiddled with her hands and blanket.

"Do you want to talk about it?" I asked, hoping she would open up so I would know how to help, but she shook her head immediately. "That's ok." I hurried to let her know. "Do you want to ask me something?"

She looked a little taken aback, but after a long pause, she nodded.

"Wh-what are the-the rules of the p-pack, Alpha?" The dang title again. Was it all she saw me as? A scary wolf with a title?

"It's Knox, Dali! We are mates, equals! This pack is just as much yours as it is mine!"

"Kn-Knox." She mumbled, training herself to pronounce my name. It rolled off her tongue perfectly, making me realize I have never loved my name as much as I did right now.

"As for the rules, we will make new ones together. Training is every day and everyone knows their duty, but that's it. We can create new holidays and traditions, make new memories together. This pack, like I said, is just as much yours as it is mine!" I could see blush creep its way on her cheeks as she tried not to smile. It was hard for her to believe my words, but she would trust me soon enough.

"How old are you?" I ask her, wanting to keep the conversation going.

"I-I will be-be 19 in M-May." She shrugged. "I'm 22."

And slowly she started opening up. Although she refused to answer a lot of the things I asked, I got to know a small side of her, that I didn't know yesterday. For a few moments, she managed to forget her fear, asking me about Kane, my favorite meals, and color.

I got to tell her what training was like, bragging a bit about my strength. I explained all about how I ran the pack and admitted that I didn't have many great memories, but hoped to make some with her.

"My mom used to love gardening." I began telling her yet another story, enjoying having her attention. "Her favorite flowers were roses, she even named my sister after one. She would spend any free time she got in the dirt or with water dripping down her clothes from watering the plants. Sometimes, I wondered if she loved the plants more than she loved me and Rosalie." I blurted out, scratching the back of my neck with a sheepish smile.

Then, I heard the most beautiful sound I had ever heard - her laugh. She giggled slightly, trying to be quiet, but I still heard it. The second it stopped, I needed it again. It rang in my ears like a perfect melody, but it didn't last long enough. I wanted her to feel happy when she was with me, happy enough to laugh, and she just did.

I had to admit I felt pride, knowing I was the first person to make her laugh after such a long time of pain. Not anyone else, but I.

Her eyes widened in shock, perhaps even horror as she awaited my reaction. I knew she hadn't been allowed to do a lot of things in the trafficking ring, but I never thought they didn't allow her to laugh or make noises. Seeing the smile on my face, however, she loosened up again, sitting comfortably next to the tray with soup she never finished.

"My-my m-mom also l-loved flo-flowers." She mumbled shyly, fighting back tears. "My-my d-dad wanted to-to call m-me Da-Dalia to m-make h-her hap-happy." Her hands trembled as she fought her emotions. She was close to breaking down, barely holding it in.

Finally, she lost the battle, tears streaming down her cheeks. She sobbed silently, staring into the distance with her knees close to her chest. I tried to let her be, I really did, but I couldn't watch her be so sad without doing anything. I was there when she laughed, I needed to be there when she cried.

I kneeled next to the bed, resting my elbows on it, but being careful not to touch her. At the sound of my footsteps, she had turned back around and was watching me with the beautiful brown eyes I had grown to love. So beautiful, yet so broken, almost like a broken seashell. The insides were taken out, leaving only the beautiful outsides. You couldn't tell what was wrong until you picked it up, saw the empty spot, where the pearl had to be. It was the same with my mate, you couldn't tell how broken she was until you picked her up, gave her the care that she deserved.

"Where did you live as a child, Dali? Your home? Your pack? Where are they? Your parents must be very worried about you." It hurt, knowing I might have to bring her back if she decided not to stay, but after all this searching for her identity, I wanted to at least get some answers.

Her sobs became harder, racking her body. Her lip trembled, her eyes holding pain and fear as she relived whatever painful memory was hurting her.

"They're gone, aren't they?" I asked sadly. She remained quiet, other than another loud sob, which confirmed my speculations. I took her hand in mine, causing her to flinch, but then lay it still in my own. "Mine are too. You have me now, and I have you. It's ok to cry, laugh, feel, It's ok to be human, Dali, you're safe now!" I whispered to her, rubbing soothing circles against her skin.

Dalia's P.O.V

I had no home, not after Ed took it from me, from us. Since that painful day, I had lived with my masters, being a personal toy and punching bag for whoever found me useful. I had no roof, no room, to call my own. No house to come back to, only memories of my family as they screamed for mercy in the enemy's merciless hands. Memories I wish I didn't have, but was obligated to live with for the rest of my life.

"Mine are too." He admitted. "You have me now, and I have you. It's ok to cry, laugh, feel, it's ok to be human, Dali, you're safe now!" He whispered, rubbing circles on the back of my hand.

It sent a weird feeling, wherever he touched. Warmth and comfort radiated off of him and for the first time, I let myself feel it. I let myself be comforted because maybe I no longer needed to be strong and on guard. Perhaps, now I had someone to do it for me.

We stayed like that for a while, drowning in the silence of our own memories. I wondered if my parents would be proud of me. I was sitting in a hospital room, healing and alive, with an Alpha mate, who wanted me to be his Luna, his equal.

I couldn't save my sister, I couldn't save myself, or our pasts, but maybe I could save the future. Maybe I could allow myself to be loved, to love and live. If Knox really cared for me as much as he claimed, then maybe he could find my sister, and bring her back. Maybe, just maybe, I could have the family I longed so hard for.

I stared at the large male next to me, the one holding my hand, and contemplated asking him to take a shower. I didn't want to test my luck, but I was also dirty and smelly. I took a small breath, reminding myself, that so far he had been nothing like the masters in the Trade.

"A-" I stopped myself. He wanted me to call him by his name, I needed to respect his decision. My mom didn't call dad Gamma so it was probably ok if I did as he asked. "Kn-Knox?" I started again.

He immediately looked at me, waiting for me to continue. "Do-do you a-allow me to-to have a sho-shower?" I asked hopeful. He looked taken aback, he was probably angry. He would hate me, he would hit me now. I shouldn't have asked, I was so stupid.

I closed my eyes, waiting for him to hit me, waiting for the pain, but it never came. When I opened my eyes he was looking at me with hurt and pain in his eyes. Was it because of me?

"I-I'm sorry!" I mumbled quickly before he took my hand and silenced me.

"I don't have to allow you anything, my love! You are free to do as you please as long as you stay safe!" He declared, making me smile.

"I-I can sh-shower!" I exclaimed happily, earning a chuckle from Knox, which made me blush. His eyes, hands, gestures, all had such a huge impact on me. Perhaps the bond wasn't something my parents made up.

"Of course you can! Let's get permission from the doctor first, ok?" I nodded.

A/N:

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