Winter Wish

Prologue  When he woke up that morning, the sun had not yet risen, but he got out of bed without a care in the world, and after running for nearly an hour in the falling snow, he returned home. When he showered and dressed, the bitter cold had subsided a bit, but strangely his nose was still very red. He allowed himself his first coffee of the day and settled into the rocking chair in front of the window with a self-help book in his hand. For a restless and unhappy man, he gave the impression of a man who was very much into his routine and knew what to do, but this was nothing more than a formula he had developed to get back to the way he used to enjoy life. He thought that if he spent his life in this way, following a plan, he would eventually be able to make peace with the world again. It was for this reason that he had come to this small town on the pretext of winter vacation, completely isolated himself from his normal life, and finally, after days of despair, he had learned to organize his life gradually in this way. He was alive. He had to stay alive. For him, as long as a person was alive, the fight for survival was going on. A while ago, of course, he would never have thought of such a thing, but if he had somehow been exposed to the idea, he would have laughed a lot. For him, life used to be a system where you could achieve anything you dreamed of. He had learned over time that everything you dream of can come at a price, and sometimes the price you pay may not really have anything to do with him at all. Time can be a cruel teacher, but the truth is, it's a pretty good one. It had teachings that could change your life and perspective forever, and the sad part is that they were all permanent learnings. Sipping his coffee, he resumed reading his book. It was a book about how one's habits affect one's life and how even small changes in life can change you. He couldn't say that he was very moved by it or that he was doing it willingly or with pleasure, but he had no reason to break his morning routine. So he kept on reading. The day was just dawning and the illuminated streets looked glamorous and a little bright under the snow. Everywhere was being prepared and decorated for the arrival of the new year. The trees, naturally decorated with snow, were made even more eye-catching with colorful items, the streets were being cleaned, and the houses were decorated in a more sparkling way than usual. It was always fascinating to him how the normal and monotonous appearance of the houses could suddenly change by being covered in such a glow. No one had any idea what was going on inside those houses, but from the outside, each one looked as normal and ordinary as the next. No one stood out. He did the same, of course. He had personally cleared the door of his house of snow, decorated and illuminated the front door, and carefully decorated it by placing a large pine tree in front of the front windows of his house, which could be seen even from outside. He spent a lot of time calculating each piece he placed on the tree, and even attracted the attention of a few neighbors passing by and chatted with them for a few minutes about the excitement of Christmas. On the surface, Ian Alexander Foster was as normal and ordinary a man as anyone else. This camouflage he developed to avoid being noticed and remembered was all he had at the moment because he needed this ordinariness. He didn't want to be recognized, he couldn't stand the idea of being remembered, he didn't know how to change his life, which he didn't enjoy anyway, so he hid under this camouflage and waited for the moment when things would get better. He hoped. He wished. He prayed. Realizing that he was distracted, he turned his eyes to the window for a while. After taking the last sip of his coffee, he noticed a crow landing on the roof of a house just across the street from his house and found himself watching it strangely. Something about crows had always intrigued him. The eyes of this animal seemed to look differently than the others, as if it recognized people and responded to their gaze. As if to say, we are different from each other and don't think I am not aware that you are staring at me. Also, the color of its feathers was such a shiny black that it was fascinating to him. It had never occurred to him until he met them that black was not uniform. The idea that even darkness had shades was strangely eerie, but actually quite beautiful. He shook his head from side to side to get these thoughts out of his head and continued reading his book for a while longer. The weather was getting colder and colder, the new year was getting closer and closer, but underneath all the glitter, the desire that had been gripping him for some time continued to squeeze his heart unchanged. One could even say that it was because of this desire that he looked forward to the New Year with a small amount of hope. Wasn't that the reason why he suddenly threw away his entire career and disappeared, declaring that he needed a long vacation? It may have changed him drastically, but wasn't it also the reason why he was able to hope again, to believe that this wish would affect his life and to remember the beauty of it? After putting a bookmark in his book, he got up from his seat. He made himself his usual breakfast - eggs with cheese and toast - and ate quietly, not really hungry, but it was breakfast time and Ian was a man who followed routines, not his own desires. The one thing he wanted was already so strange that he didn't think he could share it with anyone. He couldn't even say it aloud to himself, he couldn't think about it except when he prayed. Between the ticking of the clock that killed the silence in the house, he finished his meal and put on his coat, scarf and beanie. With his wallet and keys in his pocket, he left the house and wandered under the snow for a while to listen to himself and to make his wish in his heart once again at the beginning of a new day. Everything seemed to come alive under mistletoe and Christmas pines. The snow crunching beneath his feet mingled with a soothing sound, the cold air touching his skin as if it wanted to seep into his bones. The town must not have awakened from sleep yet. Except for the few people he saw around him, it was quiet, the shops were closed and everything was peacefully serene under the desolation. It wasn't a big town, that's why he had come here, but strangely enough, the vast forests and land made him feel as if he was lost in a big world, and that was really good for Ian. There was a peace and tranquility under the beauty of nature, beyond all the hustle and bustle of the metropolis. It was as if you could be alone even in this big world, listen to yourself and count the seconds, marveling at how much time you had. Climbing slowly up a hill from which he could see the town from high above, he ended his walk and, under a sky of perfect blue and white, breathing in the snow and a sleeping town, he let his will overflow his heart once more. His heart was pounding as he closed his eyes tightly and whispered his wish. He tried not to think about it except when he was here because it frightened him a little, and even though he didn't know why this senseless wish affected him so much, he couldn't help himself. He was aware that it was a desperate and unrealizable wish, but he still wanted it with all his heart, and the intensity of his desire made him feel that somehow, one day, even this wish would come true. One day the time for this wish would come and Ian would open his eyes to a new day with his wish fulfilled. It was strange, but he could feel it deep in his heart. "I don't want to live in this world anymore. I am grateful for my body, for what I have and for the thirty years of life I have spent with all these things. I love each and every one of them and I feel true gratitude for it, but I don't belong in this world anymore. Something is wrong here. Something makes me feel too bored to breathe. I want to wake up somewhere else... Somewhere where I can survive but not in this world... Somewhere where honesty and love are still alive. Please, please, please..." When he opened his moistened eyes, he felt a strange chill and realized that he was not alone, and looked around in amazement. His eyes fell on the woman just beyond, chewing the snow under her feet with wonder and childlike joy. Who was this woman? Why had Ian not heard her approaching? For a moment, his brow furrowed as he looked at her, then she turned her face to him as if she had noticed his presence, and in the few seconds their eyes met, Ian forgot what he was thinking, marveling at the color of her eyes and hair. But it only lasted a moment. He put his hands in his pockets and turned his eyes away from her. She couldn't have heard him as he whispered to himself. So there was no reason for him to be nervous, even if he was a little uncomfortable. Chewing the snow a little harder this time, he decided to turn back the way he had come and get out of here as soon as possible. His heart was still pounding violently in his chest from the impact of his wish, but it wouldn't be long before he calmed down as the cold filled his lungs with a breeze that would blow his senses back to sanity. He hadn't even made it down the hill when he felt her following him and he stopped, turned around and looked at her, throwing his head back to see her in the distance between them. Why was she following him? What did she want? What was her problem? These were running through his mind, but instead of speaking, he just frowned and waited. She swallowed for a few seconds and rubbed her lips with her hand. Her mouth opened and closed, but for some reason she just squirmed instead of speaking as she stared at him with eyes full of fear. Was something wrong with her? Finally, she hesitantly said something, as if speaking for the first time in her life. Whether her words surprised him more or her, neither of them knew at that moment. "I... Where am I?"