The Devil and Daniel

What does the devil look like? From a fallen angel to a bearded, red-hued man with horns, images of Satan have seen the Prince of Darkness' appearance reinvented many times. The satanic figure of today is the result of centuries of art, literature and theatre, all sculpting a personification of evil. Within the Christian tradition, it was the Devil — in the form of a serpent after his own fall from heaven — who brought about the Fall of humanity in the Garden of Eden. Christ’s death and resurrection signalled the victory over Satan and death. the Devil is God’s most implacable enemy, granted the freedom to rebel against him. Thus, Saint Paul advised the Ephesians “to put on the whole armour of God so that you may be able to stand against the wiles of the Devil” (Ephesians 6.11). But on the other hand, the Devil is also God’s faithful servant who acts only at God’s command, or at least with his endorsement. So God sends Satan to kill Job’s animals, servants and children and to afflict Job with “loathsome sores” in order to test his faith in God (Job 1-2). His title is the Devil, but he goes by a number of names — Satan, Lucifer, Beliar, Beelzebul or Beelzebub. Daniel was a veritably wretched man. As he sat with his head bowed upon his office that evening he made up his mind that his life had been a failure. I have laboured long and diligently, said he to himself, “and although I'm known throughout the megacity as an sedulous and shrewd business man, I am still a poor man, and shall presumably continue so to the end of my days unless- unless-" Then Daniel stopped and fiddled. For a week or more he'd been incubating over his unhappy lot. There sounded to be but one way out of his trouble, yet his soul revolted from taking that step. That was why he stopped and fiddled. But he argued,” I must do commodity! My nine children are growing over into big boys and girls. They must have those advantages which my limited means won't admit of! All my life so far has been pure, wary, and rigid; poverty has at last broken my spirit. I give up the fight,-- I'm ready to vend my soul to the Devil!" "The determination is a wise one," said a voice at Daniel's elbow. Daniel looked up and sighted a grim-visage foreigner in the president beside him. The foreigner was disposed all in black, and he exhaled a distinct odour of sulphur. "Am I to understand," asked the foreigner," that you're set to enter into a league with the Devil?" "Yes," said Daniel, forcefully; and he set his teeth together after the fashion of a man who isn't to be moved from his purpose. "Also I'm ready to treat with you," said the foreigner. "Are you the Devil?" asked Daniel, eying the foreigner critically. "No, but I'm authorized to enter into contracts for him," explained the foreigner." My name is Beelzebub, and I'm my master's most trusted agent." "Sir," said Daniel," you must pardon me (for I'm hesitant to wound your passions), but one of the rules governing my career as a business man has been to deal directly with headliners, and no way to trust to the services of middle- men. The affair now in hand is one concerning the Devil and myself, and between us two and by us two only can the overtures be acclimated." "As it so happens," explained Beelzebub,” this is Friday,-- generally called headsman's day,-- and that's as busy a time in our particular position as a Monday is in a laundry, or as the first of every month is at a book-keeper's office. You can understand, maybe, that this is the Devil's busy day; thus be happy to make this deal with me, and you'll find that my master will mirthfully accept any contract I may enter into as his agent and in his behalf." But no,-- Daniel would not agree to this; with the Devil himself, and only the Devil himself, would he treat. So he bade Beelzebub go to the Devil and make known his wishes. Beelzebub departed, important chagrined. Presently back came the Devil, and surely it, was, the Devil this time,--there could be no mistake about it; for he wore a scarlet cloak, and had cloven bases, and carried about with him as numerous stifling smells as there are kinds of brimstone, sulphur, and asafoetida. The two talked over all Daniel's miseries; the Devil sympathized with Daniel, and ever and anon a funky, sticky gash would trickle down the Devil's minatory nose and drop off on the carpet. "What you want is plutocrat," said the Devil.” That will give you the comfort and the pleasure you crave." "Yes," said Daniel; “it will give me every occasion to do good." "To do good!" repeated the Devil.” To do good, indeed! Yes, it's numerous a good time we shall have together, friend Daniel! Ha, ha, ha!"And the Devil laughed uproariously. Nothing sounded more humorous than the prospect of" doing good with the Devil's plutocrat! But Daniel failed to see what the Devil was so gleeful about. Daniel wasn't a wit; he was, as we've indicated, a plain business man. It was eventually agreed that Daniel should vend his soul to the Devil upon condition that for the space of twenty-four times the Devil should serve Daniel faithfully, should give him with riches, and should do whatsoever he was commanded to do; also, at the end of the twenty-fourth time, Daniel's soul was to pass into the possession of the Devil, and was to remain there ever, without expedient or benefit of church. Surely a more horrible contract was no way entered into! "You'll have to subscribe your name to this contract," said the Devil, producing a distance of asbestos paper upon which all the terms of the satanic convention were set forth exactly. " Clearly," replied Daniel.” I’ve been a business man long enough to know the propriety and necessity of written contracts. And as for you, you must of course give a bond for the faithful prosecution of your part of this business." "That's commodity I've no way done ahead," suggested the Devil. "I shall contend upon it," said Daniel, forcefully. “This is no affair of sentiment; it's rigorously and coldly business you're to do certain service, and are to admit certain prices therefor--" "Yes, your soul!" cried the Devil, gleefully rubbing his callous hands together. “Your soul in twenty-four times!" "Yes," said Daniel." Now, no contract is good unless there's a quid pro quo." "That is so," said the Devil," so let's get a counsel to draw up the paper for me to subscribe." "Why a counsel?" queried Daniel.” A contract is a simple instrument; I, as a business man, can frame one sufficiently binding." "But I prefer to have a counsel do it," prompted the Devil. "And, I, prefer to do it myself," said Daniel. When a business man formerly gets his mind set, not indeed an Archimedean switch could stir it. So Daniel drew up the bond for the Devil to subscribe, and this bond specified that in case the Devil failed at any time during the coming twenty-four times to do whatso Daniel commanded him, also should the bond which the Devil held against Daniel come null and void, and upon that same day should a thousand and one souls be released ever from the Devil's dominion. The Devil squelched; he abominated to subscribe this agreement, but he'd to. An awful c***k of thunder ratified the abominable convention, and every black cat within a compass of a hundred leagues straightway fell to salivating and to howling grotesquely. Presently Daniel began to prosper; the Devil was a faithful slave, and he served Daniel so adeptly that no person on earth suspected that Daniel had leagued with the evil bone. Daniel had the finest house in the megacity, his woman dressed magnificently, and his children enjoyed every luxury wealth could give. Still, Daniel was happy to be known as a business man; he deported himself modestly and kindly; he pursued with all his old- time industriousness the trade which in earlier days he'd plant so unproductive of riches. His incuriosity to the pleasures which plutocrat put within his reach was passing strange, and it caused the Devil vast uneasiness. "Daniel," said the Devil, one day,” you’re not getting out of this thing all the fun there's in it. You go poking along in the same old pattern with no way a dubitation that you have it in your power to enjoy every pleasure of mortal life. Why do not you break away from the old conditions? Why do not you mileage yourself of the advantages at your command?” "I know what you're driving at," said Daniel, shrewdly, “Politics!" "No, not at each, “remonstrated the Devil.” What I mean is delightful,-- gayety. Why not have a good time, Daniel?" "But I'm having a good time," said Daniel."My business is going along all right, I'm rich. I've got a lovely home; my woman is happy; my children are healthy and gratified; I'm admired,-- what further could I ask? What better time could I demand?" "You do not understand me," explained the Devil. “What I mean by a good time is that which makes the heart merry and keeps the soul immature and buoyant,-- wine, Daniel! Wine and the theatre and enough girls and fast nags and all that kind of happy, joyous life!” "Tut, tut, tut!" cried Daniel; “no further of that, joe! I sowed my wild oats in council. What right have I to suppose of similar silly asininities,-- I, at forty times of age, and a business man too?" So not indeed the Devil himself could convert Daniel into a life of dispersion. All you who have made a study of the business man will agree that of all mortal beings he's the hardest to swerve from conservative styles. The Devil moaned and began to wonder why he'd ever tied up to a man like Daniel,-- a business man. Enough soon Daniel developed an ambition. He wanted character, and he told the Devil so. The Devil's eyes sparkled. “At last," muttered the Devil, with a shriek of relief,--"at last." "Yes," said Daniel,” I want to be known far and wide. You must make a church for me." "What!" squalled the Devil. And the Devil's tail strengthened up like a sore thumb. "Yes," said Daniel, calmly;” you must make a church for me, and it must be the largest and the handsomest church in the megacity. The sittings shall be free, and you shall give the finances for its support ever." The Devil slobbered at his mouth, and blue fire issued from his cognizance and nostrils. He was the maddest devil ever seen on earth. "I will not do it!" roared the Devil." Do you suppose I am going to spend my time erecting churches and stultifying myself just for the sake of gratifying your idle vagrancies? I will not do it,-- no way!" " Also the bond I gave is null and void," said Daniel. " Take your old bond," said the Devil, petulantly. "But the bond you gave is operative," continued Daniel." So release the thousand and one souls you owe me when you refuse to observe me." "Oh, Daniel!" puled the Devil,” how can you treat me so? Haven't I always been good to you? Haven't I given you riches and substance? Does no sentiment of fellowship--" "Hush," said Daniel, interposing him. I’ve formerly told you a thousand times that our relations were simply those of one business man with another. It now behoves you to fulfil your part of our compact; ultimately I shall fulfil mine. Come, now, to business! Will you or will you not keep your word and save your bond?" The Devil was plaintively put to his trumps. But when it came to releasing a thousand and one souls from hell,-- ah, that staggered him! He'd to make the church, and a noble one it was too. Also he endowed the church, and eventually he erected a parsonage; altogether it was a miraculous work, and Daniel got all the credit for it. The dominie whom Daniel installed in this magnificent tabernacle was oppressively orthodox, and one of the first effects he did was to sermonize a series of homilies upon the personality of the Devil, wherein he inveighed most plaintively against that person and his work. By and by Daniel made the Devil endow and make a number of hospitals, charity seminaries, free cataracts, libraries, and other institutions of analogous character. Also he made him secure the election of honest men to office and of upright judges to the bench. It nearly broke the Devil's heart to do it, but the Devil was prepared to do nearly anything differently than lose his bond and give up those one thousand and one souls. By this time Daniel came to be known far and wide for his philanthropy and his piety. This gratified him of course; but utmost of all he delighted in the circumstance that he was a business man. " Have you anything for me to do moment?" asked the Devil, one morning. He'd grown to be a veritably demure and gracious devil; steady employment in righteous causes had chastened him to a degree and purified down kindly of the violence of his nature. On this particular morning he looked gaunt and ill,-- yes, and he looked, too, as blue as a whetstone. "I'm not feeling robust," explained the Devil. To tell the verity, I'm kindly ill." "I'm sorry to hear it," said Daniel; “but as I'm not conducting a sanatorium, I can do nothing further than express my remorse that you're ailing. Of course our business relations don't contemplate any cloverleaf of sympathies; still I will go easy with you today. You may go up to the house and look after the children; see that they do not bomb cigarettes, or quarrel, or tease the cat, or do anything out of the way." Now that was fine business for the Devil to be in; but how could the Devil help himself? He was wholly at Daniel's mercy. He went moaning about the humiliating task. The crash came at last. It was when the Devil informed Daniel one day that he wasn't going to work for him any more. "You have ruined my business," said the Devil, wearily.” A commission of imps awaited upon me last night and told me that unless I disassociated my connection with you a endless suspense of my interests down yonder would be needed. While I've been running around doing your insane errands my particular business has gone to the tykes-- I wouldn't be at all surprised if I were to have to get a new factory altogether. Meanwhile my character has suffered; I'm no longer admired, and the number of my rookies is diurnal getting lower. I give up,-- I can make no farther immolation." " Also you're set to lose your bond?" asked Daniel. "Not by any means," replied the Devil.” I propose to throw the matter into the courts." "That will hardly be to your interest," said Daniel, “since, as you well know, we've lately tagged honest men to the bench, and, as I recollect, utmost of our judges are members in good standing of the church we erected some times agony!" The Devil howled with rage. Also, presently, he began to wail. "For the last time," protested Daniel," let me remind you that sentiment doesn't enter into this affair at all. We're simply two business parties cooperating in a business scheme. Our separate duties are exactly defined in the bonds we hold. You keep your contract and I will keep mine. Let me see, I still have a periphery of thirteen times." The Devil moaned and writhed. "They call me a dude," puled the Devil. "Who do?" asked Daniel. "Beelzebub and the rest," said the Devil. I’ve been sprinting around doing pious errands so long that I've lost all my sulphur-and-brimstone flavour, and now I smell like spikenard and myrrh." "Pooh!" said Daniel. "Well, I do," claimed the Devil.” You’ve lowered me so that I hadn’t got any further ambition. Yes, Daniel, you've worked me shamefully hard!" "Well," said Daniel,” I’ve a veritably distinct dubitation that when, thirteen times hence, I fall into your hands I shall not enjoy what might be called a sedentary life." The Devil plucked up at this suggestion." Indeed you shall not, “he murmured.” I will make it hot for you!" "But come, we waste time," said Daniel.” I’m a man of business, and I can not fritter down the precious moments confabbing with you. I've important work for you. Hereafter is Sunday; you're to see that all the bars are kept unrestricted." "I shan’t'-- I will not!" yelled the Devil. "But you must," said Daniel, forcefully. "Do you really anticipate me to do, that,?" roared the Devil." Do you fancy that I'm so arrant a fool as to shut off the veritably affluent whereby my empty hell is supplied? That would be suicidal!" "I do not know anything about that," said Daniel; “I’m a business man, and by this business arrangement of ours it's explicitly quested--" "I do not watch what the reservations are!" squalled the Devil.” I am through with you, and may I be consumed by my own fires if ever again I've anything to do with a business man!" The corollary of it all was that the Devil roped his bond, and by this act Daniel was released from every obligation unto the Devil, and one thousand and one souls were redeemed from the t*****e of the freaking fires.