Vengeance Bloomed When I Bled

“Maybe I was stupid.” These thoughts haunted Izzy like something straight out of a horror movie, as she made her way to Max’s apartment. “Maybe everyone who warned me was right. Maybe they all saw what I refused to see, that love, real love, shouldn’t make you feel like you’re constantly chasing after air. But I couldn’t help it. I clung to the version of Max that smiled like I was his world, that once whispered promises in the dark and kissed my forehead like I was fragile and precious. I wanted him. Not this strange. “Every time he pulled away, I told myself he was just stressed. Busy. Not heartless, not cold. Because the truth was: that I didn’t know how to stop loving him.” “As she got closer to the apartment, the lights were on, someone had to be home, so she knocked on the door, until someone finally came to get it, it was Max, but he was clearly not very excited to see her. “What are you doing here?” Max asked with an unfriendly look. Izzy’s hands shook as she wrapped them around herself, trying to hold the pieces together. She had replayed this convesation in her head over a thousand times and in every version Max would pause, see her clearly, take her by the hand and say, “I’ve miss you too”. She reached for his arm like it might anchor her to something solid. But he rigorously snatched it from her grip, “No, you don’t! What do you know about love? You are here for your own selfish reasons. It’s always been about you!" These words sliced deep as she blinked rapidly, trying to hold back the tears but they spilled over anyway. “Max... Baby. It’s me, it’s Izzy. If I did something please let’s talk about it…” Max scoffed. “Talk? Talk about what exactly? I’m not interested in whatever you have to say, girl. You had your chance”. This was not the Max she knew, it felt like someone or something else had taken over. But her Max could still be in there somewhere, and she was gonna try to reach him somehow. Izzy’s voice crackled, choking on the weight of broken promises. “Not interested? Okay, can I hug you then? please let me feel your arms this once, I swear you would never hear from me again… I love you, Max. You are everything I ever wanted…” She stretched out, desperate for one last embrace, probably the touch of her skin or warmth of her embrace would pull out her Max from wherever this monster could have hidden him. But Maxwell’s eyes darkened. With voice lowered and cutting, as he began to spit words… “I thought you said you didn’t enjoy it when I did it, that I took from you way to early, but here you are, again, unable to help yourself. You poor thing…” She looked puzzled and almost shattered, but Max kept on talking… “Izzy, you showed up here hoping I would make you moan and twitch. Don't give me that crab. You hope that I would run my fingers in specific directions, apply them like dangling chandeliers to your skin, affix, dislodge, and shoot shivers down your spine like only I, can do He chuckles... “What are you now, too embarrassed to admit? You’re such a double-faced piece of sh*t, Izzy, get a grip!” She couldn’t tell if what stunk more was hearing her name from the one person who only ever called her “Baby”, or the the venom lacing each word Maxwell spat. He could clearly see the dents each word made on her but it seemed he was committed to pressing in even harder. “Izzy, you dare hide under the disguise of love. Do you even know what Love is? If you did, you wouldn’t treat what I gave you like it was nothing, would you?” Max took a deep breath, his voice suddenly dripping with false tenderness. “Izzy, you should be ashamed of yourself. I thought I was getting a girl who was both untouched and pure, in and out. But it just so turns out your mind has always been filthy, you just never got the opportunity to act on it. “That? That was me, Izzy. I gave you that opportunity on a silver platter. I unlocked you, dimensions to you that were left ignored and unexplored. I made you a woman...” He Paused briefly, Eyes cold. “I have made the biggest sacrifice imaginable. No one else would have ever put up with you, Izzy. No one else had my patience. Imagine the rigor and pain I had to go through in the name of bridging that hymen of yours, and I can swear it wasn’t even your first time. How did you even manage to restore it? Witchcraft?...” Izzy’s world spun at a speed she could not catch up with. “What?” Her pupils widened, her brown eyes reflected even more like glass and her ginger curly afro shrunk even further. No, there was no way her Maxwell was still in there. Whoever this was is a total stranger and as if all the torture she had to endure in hopes that this would get better, was not enough, he insinuates that she might be possessed by witchcraft? A part of her had always known this wasn’t right, she just never had the courage, and she had promised herself that today was gonna be the last straw. But a greater part of her, still drowning in love, wanted to hold on a tad more. To endure, to fight a little bit more. Although it felt like a double edged sword was being driven into her chest, although the Pain rushed through her like something alien, something hazy. Although it was wild, and electrifying, and as real as real could ever appear, she told herself: “tomorrow, no more. But today, I would proof to myself that I did something to save this. That I did not just quit on the first love I have ever known, Even though all of this was entirely Aunt Nene’s idea. Maxwell’s words were spiky, but the realization of how much Max had come to mean to her, made them even sharper! Tears raced, mucus drooled, her voice barely rose, and this was going to be the last time she begged him to stay. The last time he saw her weak, the very last time. “I’m sorry Max. Please don’t go…” She muttered, clutching unto her arms so tight her fingers dug into them. But this was not the first time, or the first scar. Her ebony skin did a great job concealing the many scars that tattooed her body... Max steps forward and for a moment something flickered in his eyes, like a ghost of the man she once knew. His arms circled her waist, he locked eyes with her, pulling her closer. The warmth of his breath against the nape of her neck whispered of old promises, and maybe of better days. Maybe now he’d see her again. He leaned in slowly as if reaching for a hug, but then he spins her abruptly abruptly. Her hands landed on the sofa’s armrest. He bent her violently. ripping a part of her dress, her shorts tore carelessly, and once again he inserted himself. Just like that? No prior conversation, nothing? She hadn’t even crossed the threshold of the house, just four small steps in. Steps she dared not take any further. Max had only pushed the door shut moments before, so he could jerk off in privacy. The hug she’d begged for twisted into this? “Max?… Stop” Max would not listen, and it wasn’t the first time. She could have fought him off, or maybe screamed, done something, anything. But her limbs felt too weak, too numb, from the guilt of having showed up here, hoping her presence could make things better. Her throat felt like she had swallowed glue, all she could do at this point was whisper… “Max, please stop. Don’t...” “While she begged, she could feel something raging inside her chest. Something she had never given the opportunity to bloom. Not love, maybe anger towards herself. Maybe a vengeful hate towards Max. Maybe regret for all the times she would have walked away but didn’t. Maybe the realization that coming here was a mistake...” Then a sharp pain to her cervix snapped her back out of her thoughts, so, she tried to say no, again. Weeping like she had never done before... “Max, don’t do this to me, I have not fully recovered and it really hurts…”