The prince and me

Miami was supposed to be his mother's way of placating her wayward son. Which was fine by him, except from the fact that even Miami with its loose, half naked women was steadfast in boring him to tears. He liked to think he was going through a midlife crisis, but exactly what type of crisis could a man in his early thirties possibly go through when he could get laid any day, and time of the week. Conrad hoped this phase would pass quickly, he hadn't had a shag in six months! Six long and annoyingly dry months ! If this continued on like this he was going to the doctor, might be erectile disfunction, there were no other logical reasons for him not to be able to get it up this long! Conrad was currently sitting in the back corner booth of a strip club, not the fun kind with naked women, oh no, this was a final hail Mary in an attempt to find what was wrong with his libido. the club Conrad was in right now was full of half naked men gyrating into uncomfortable positions. it was a "let see if I turned gay without noticing " type of experiment and so far it wasn't working. He could just imagine having to explain to his mother and father that their second son was gay. His poor mother would have had conniption that would have lasted her a whole lifetime, however short that may be since she was fifty five years old. He almost was disappointed that he wouldn't get to see that, it had a potential for fun and mayhem he could not ignore. When he got back home he might just play this prank on his family just for shits and giggles. Fed up with awaiting "the erection that shall never come" Conrad asked for the check, the whiskey was shite anyway, the scantily clad gentlemen failed to arouse him, and he needed to pee; so he headed for the bathroom. Christy was embarrassed, she just knew going anywhere with Sandy was a mistake. The woman had no idea what the word restrain meant, everything that came to her mind was good for sharing, and she had absolutely no boundaries whatsoever! Christy wasn't into public anything, she liked moving in background of society, she appreciated the anonymity of never drawing attention to herself. An habit Sandy considered as a major character flaw, because in Sandy's world if you were not a loud mouthed temperamental stereotypical black woman then there was clearly something wrong with you. So In typical Sandy fashion she had to remedy that by being loud and stereotypical for two. Why she was Christy's best friend still baffled the both of them, there were a million reasons for them not to be friends yet they made it work anyways and have been friends for twenty years and some change. They met at school when they were seven years old, Christy and Sandy were playing together after lunch time in the play ground, when Jennifer and her gang of nameless drones started bullying Christy. She's always been quiet, and people often thought she was easy to push around, and since she was the new kid in town Jennifer and her gang thought she would let them push her around. And Sandy, sweet hearted-never-minds-her-own-business-all-up-in-people's-faces Sandy, jumped in the fray and started clawing and yanking hair off body parts. The girls, so focused on fending off her new friend, didn't notice Christy run to the nearest tree, yank off a branch and run back with it swinging and aimed for the largest girl of the group. She and Sandy made mulch out of the misguided wannabe bullies who ran away screaming with scratch marks, a good number of trunk sized bumps, and quite a lot of noticeable bald spots. Christy and Sandy have been friends ever since that fateful fun day when they became known as the terrible two's. They were feared all through high school because as new kids got in the school there was always that i***t who would assume Christy was an easy target and pick on her and every time a fight would ensume, either she would start the fight or Sandy would, but the result stayed the same. they would fight, often with the help of chairs, tables and anything that could be use to expedite the process and bring about the most pain to their opponents, and they would win. Right now though Christy was strongly considering beating the living daylight out of Sandy, that heifer just yelled out loud, in a strip club full of people " Christy what is your virgin ass doing in a strip club!". If it weren't for Jennifer, her once bully now adjacent best friend since Jen still had bully tendencies, who caught her mid flight in her hurry to get over the table and scratch Sandy's eyes out! while Sandy not to be outdone also attempted to launch herself over the table but Katy, the bride to be caught her and diffused the situation with a stern " people, this is my bachelorette night and subsequently the Katy show, not the Sandy and Christy disfunctional show, so shut it down!" Christy decided she needed to use the restroom and calm down a bit. Sandy was giving her the side eye and everyone within earshot of their table was looking at her funny, if she stayed there a moment longer she would not be held responsible for the mass destruction that would ensue. Christy didn't understand why she was considered the weird one. It wasn't her fault she was still a virgin at twenty nine, she later discovered that there was a reason girls lost their v card in their teens. No teenage girl would look closely enough at a guy and see him for the immature i***t that he is, instead they looked at them with the same immature eyes of an insecure teenage fool with the thought process of a child. These days Christy regretted not going through with it when she was eighteen, maybe then she would not still be a virgin at twenty nine with no prospect whatsoever to remedy the situation, because now every guy she met she had the misfortune to smell the crazy on them and know when one of them is spewing bullshit, so no hooky-pocky for her! She was doomed to walk the earth alone as an eternal v-card owner. but right now she marched herself to the bathroom and prayed to discovery peace and quiet there somehow. What she found instead was a man standing in front of the ladies restroom with a confused look on his pretty face. - can I help you? She asked concerned, she didn't want to assume he was retarded, but if it quacked like a duck... - yes, you could help me by telling me the odds of me going into that bathroom and find some girl willing to have s*x with me, like in one of those pornos? - are you retarded? - a strong case could be made to sustain that claim. - Are you aiming to shock me? - maybe - What's your end game here? - I don't know, hadn't thought that far ahead. Maybe shock you into a make out session? - Are you asking? - Are you interested? - Are you going to turn this around to make me feel stupid if I say no? - if you say no then it is most certainly on me, it means I'm not as cute as I'd like to think! He said with a self deprecating smile. Christy smiled, he was funny in a weird way, she could tell he was joking but at the same time he was also very serious. But how could he not, the man was handsome! he had jet black hair and she didn't know exactly how to categorize his skin tone but he was either very tanned or a mixture of two different races, his skin tone was very similar of Jason Momoa and he even had the long hair but thank god he didn't follow with that horrid beard Jason was rocking these days. He was tall and dwarfed her five feet eight by a foot at least and when he linked his arms around her Christy tried to think of all the reasons why she should push him away, but she looked at his kissable lips and beautiful eyes and face and just couldn't bring herself to say no. She let him lean in and when his lips touched hers, she kissed him back locking her hands behind his neck and leaning into him. If someone would have asked her what she was thinking kissing a man she didn't know like that, her answer would most definitely be nothing with a capital N, the man was that good. He was running his hands in all the right places and the way his mouth was moving against hers was earth shattering, Christy only snapped out of it when she felt his hand hike up her skirt and realized that she had her legs wrapped around his hips and the hand down her skirt was tugging on her underwear. Christy ripped her lips off his and shoved him away, not that she moved him anyway, he was a mountain of a man, but he understood her meaning and backed if a step. - what's wrong ? Conrad asked trailing kisses down her neck - Nothing, I just don't think I want to do this here? Christy panted. - Are you asking? He smiled cocky - no... no, I'm not asking, I'm really not into public anything! - okay, he answered locking his lips witty hers again in a quick kiss, where do you want to take this? I have a hotel room four blocks away. - okay let me use the bathroom for a bit then we can leave. - I'll wait right here. Conrad let her go with a last kiss and settled against the wall to wait. He was content, after months of no bonnerland he finally got it up. The evidence pressing itself against the fly of his Mark Jacob faded jeans was undeniable, if he had known that making out with a black women would do it, he could have saved himself months off a dry spell . He had never been with an African American girl before, that was not to say that he's never dated outside his race but he'd just never been with one before, he did find them attractive but somehow never attempted a relationship before. After splashing some water on her face trying to cool down the fire the guy outside lit up inside her, Christy glanced at her flushed reflection an wondered if she could follow through with the plan she just agreed to. She wasn't sure if she could have "coitus " with a stranger and not regret it the day after. By the look of it, these one night stand were often an either or kind of deal but Sandy for example never regretted one night stands, her motto was if she slept with the guy then clearly regretting it later was redundant because it wouldn't change s**t. Sandy claimed to always go into these things with both party aware of the stakes. Christy studied her reflection and tried to see if after twenty eight years of abstinence she could give it up to a stranger just because he kissed the brain cells off her. She certainly didn't relish having the " I'm a virgin" conversation, but imagined she would have to if she wanted to sleep with the guy. Christy sterned herself and reached for the door handle but just when she was about to turn it, She shuddered , ran for the window at the other side of the room and vaulted through it. It was one block later that she realized how crazy literally running away was, she wanted to sleep with someone before she hit thirty and clearly going the relationship route hadn't worked out for her, a one night stand was an answer to her problems, if the experience was sucky she only had to disappear. The man never even asked for her name and she certainly didn't ask for his either. Christy did a quick turn about and went back in the club, she was lucky the bouncer remembered her since she didn't have her id or her bag with her because she had the bright idea to go through the window. She found him leaning against the wall still, but he was looking at his watch a clear sign that he was loosing patience. - Hey! Christy said tapping his shoulder a feigned smile on her lips, I'm ready. - Where did you come from? - out there. She said vaguely - out where he laughed knowingly - outside, let's go! She said going for the exit in the hope that he would stop with that line of questioning, but caught her arm and pulled her into his body and dropped a quick peck on her lips. - huh umm, not that fast! how did you happen to be outside when you never left the bathroom? - fine! I jumped out the window, are you happy now? - you jumped out the second story window? - the dumpster was right under the window and the lid was down so... - did you know the lid was down, or that there was a dumpster at all when you jumped? - maybe? Christy could see that he was amused by the weirdness of it all. He had her pinned against the wall he was previously leaning against and was alternatively kissing or caressing her, right now he had his head buried in the valley between her breast, he had unhooked two of the top buttons on her shirt and cupped bit his hands under her breast so he could trail kisses as closed to her n*****s as he could without revealing her boobs to the public, he was almost close to the promise land when Christy took a fistful of his shoulder length hair and pulled his head back to stare at him. By then he had lifted her off the ground so her breast were at eye level with her legs locked around him. - we need to leave. We have to leave right now! She panted out of breath. He put her back down and lead her out holding on to her hand.