Sub Conquror

Sleeps are always disappointing, they can't keep the head straight. Lloyd woke up, maybe twice in the last one hour. He couldn’t sleep, he didn’t even know why. He looked at his watch, it was nearly noon. He really needed this small nap before the class. After half an hour, the class would begin. Lloyd got up from the table. He could feel a neck pain. It was obvious to him, nobody can avoid neck pain if leaning and sleeping on the table becomes a habit. He looked around. The same old teacher's room. It had always been the same, there was no change. He went to the washroom, to clear his head and wash out the sleepiness. He looked at the mirror. 'Hey Lloyd, what's up?' he said to himself. He could imagine a thousand of greeting expression with the face, but he knew he didn’t need them for greeting himself. He looked at the mirror vigorously, 'Now, I know you haven’t got some good sleep, and too much of a stress. But that shouldn’t be an excuse to ruin some freshman years of others. You hear me? You are a professor, so better act like it.' He paused, maybe it was enough for now. He washed the face, and brought up the bright look again. He heard the door rattling, 'Mr. Relish, are you there?' He came out from the washroom, it was Mrs. Sallow. He wasn’t ready for this sudden visit, 'Good morning ma'am.' She wasn’t interested in paying back the greeting, 'So, ready for the freshman class, ain't you?' He laughed, while rubbing the towel against his face, 'Well, about that, are you sure that I should take the class?' She frowned, 'And why should I be in dilemma?' He remained silent for a minute. Awkward silence are sometimes too silent to observe. He spoke up, 'Do you think the opening class should be psychology? I mean, I know it's a mesmerizing subject. It is a world within our world, a world to explore. But the students, I don’t think they quite like this. It is like a slow charmer.' She sighed, 'May I sit?' He nodded, and put up his glasses. She sat in the front chair. He was confused. Was any sad news incoming? She looked at him, 'You got the email last night?' He knew, it was about the resigning. He remained silent, and she got that as a yes, 'Well, I don’t know why you are planning on resigning after this fall. I honestly don't know. And I know a fact about you that I don’t know you at all. You are a guy to eat secret on breakfast. I really respect that. But I was shocked, so was everyone here in Purdue. You are one of our finest. You know that, right?' He interrupted, 'Hey, I have no grudges against you people. I spent my best twenty four years here. I taught a bunch of great people, faced a lot of setbacks, but I was happy. And the resigning is totally my unbiased decision.' She said, 'Okay, I take my words back. Now I want to know what this resigning is about.' He sat on the table, 'Well, you read about my last research paper?' She nodded, 'Yeah, the one about subconscious interconnection. The authorities are too much eager for it, mainly when you presented the first draft. You will get hell of a recognition worldwide. You will be next to the Sigmund Freud, you will be called the genius. The only annoyed will be the students, to see a new chapter added in their syllabus.' They laughed, his laugh was a dry one. She noticed it, 'But I think you knew it when you wrote the first draft, right? So what's pulling you back from the greatness?' He sighed, 'The greatness itself. The draft, I found a big flaw. The research, it was a flunk. So I can't be great for flunking, right?' She looked at him, 'I just see a setback here, nothing else. You know that this can be a new research attempt for you, right?' He nodded, 'Yeah. But the flaw wasn’t my problem. My problem was this loneliness in greatness. I spent a huge time for this research. When I am in touch with this psychology, I feel lonely. I feel to have no life. You know, I am done with this psychology. I just want to do some easy work. Recently I am planning on farming. I really love Purdue, I literally have no grudges. I just want to give my last happy service here. I will be in touch with everyone here, except psychology.' She said nothing. He patted on her shoulder, 'Hey, I am still here, for this fall. Don’t worry, I won't neglect it.' She sighed, 'I am not worried about that, I know you will give your best. I am just, just worried about you.' He asked, 'Don’t be. I am just fine. How much blood can psychology suck anyway?' He laughed, alone. She got up, smiling, 'Well, it’s your life. You deserve a simple one. And it may be exaggerating, but we will make sure your last fall will be honored here.' She started walking to the door. He asked, 'So, how are you?' She turned around, 'Like?' He said, 'I heard about your father. I am really sorry. For him, and also for not reaching out early. I should have been at the funeral. But I am too much uncomfortable in tragic situation.' She sighed, 'It’s okay. Thank you for reaching out now. Better late than never.' He asked, 'What happened to him? I heard about heart failure.' She replied, 'Yeah, a complicated one. He was stressed out lately. I kept telling him to throw the tensions away. Well He send us, and He will call out for everyone someday. I keep having faith on god, He is there to take care of us.' He nodded, 'Yeah. Maybe being god is also difficult. He is compelled to take away the good and vulnerable ones.' 'Yeah, see you on the break.' She walked out of the room. He sat there for some minutes. The grief was unlikely, but he knew he would overcome it. He always had. 'Everyone, welcome to Purdue.' He said to the class. He could see every kind of students from there. The nerd ones, the sassy ones, the curious ones, everyone. He continued, 'It was a lifetime to be in this phase, to be in university. It will be a new phase you know. As we say in Indiana, welcome to the air in Naptown.' Some students seemed to be excited, although a few being annoyed.' He walked around the podium, 'So, my name is Lloyd Relish, I will be your lecturer in part of psychology, for this semester. I am really happy to have an opportunity of teaching your fresh brain. So, let's ask me a little question, what is psychology?' The class started small talks among themselves. He was yet in peace, since the talks weren’t disturbing, rather productive.' One guy stood up, 'A study of mind?' Lloyd pointed him to sit down, 'Thank you for the good definition. That is correct, I have no argument. But I like to explain little more smoothly. Psychology is more like an exploration, an adventuring running in our brain. You know, to be visually, our brain is a lump of flesh, mainly a fat and juicy one. Yet it has the command.' The whole class laughed, slowly. He continued, 'Since it is the age of technology, we can get everything as a simulation. But we never doubt the reality. Suppose there is a Purdue for alien in Jupiter somewhere, there are classes, there are students. There is a Jupiterian Lloyd, explaining about doubting the reality. But in there, the human civilization may not be a reality. So you see, reality is also a relative thinking eventually. It is ultimately a visual, a touch, a sound, a taste or a sense of something our brain gives us.' The class kept quiet. He smiled, seeing how the juveniles were attracted to some facts explaining like fictions. He continued, 'Look at a microwave oven. It just makes our plain foods hot, nothing else. It is functioned what it is taught, what it is capable of. Like that, we might be a walking oven, accept the only reality we are taught, only one we see.' A girl stood up, 'But sir, is there any example outside our reality?' He looked at the girl. He knew this question was coming. In fact, he wanted this question to come. Sometimes burdens are less unbearable when they are shared. He drew two circles in the board, 'Anyone ever heard of subconscious mind? Of course you all have heard of it. But hearing from it is quite tough you know. The truth is, they are you, but with higher abilities of everything, and with no memories of real you. In my opinion, you are not always alone, you all have two entities. And they irony? Maybe in their world, your memories are subconscious.' The class was too much quiet. Lloyd realized, it was too much to teach some freshmen. He tried to avoid the heaviness, 'That's my opinion. You know why? I have studied this things. So any imaginary world I can make will be full of big brains. Maybe an old professor is too ancient to imagine about world with Hogwarts.' Students got the sarcasm. The laughs were satisfactory. Lloyd laughed by himself when the final bell rang. Sometimes it is easier to sacrifice oneself than to sacrifice a truth.