A Way Out

I sat on my comfortable chair, as I twisted and turned the sides and corners of the rubik’s cubes trapped in my hands. I found this small cube rather fascinating, how its parts were loosely tight, waiting for someone to twist them until their colors matched both in rows and columns. Yet, no matter how much you turned the rows and columns, it would always take a while for one to complete the complicated puzzle. My shaky hands were not ready to let my brain think as they would constantly make a move which was probably uncalled for, making the puzzle even harder for me. I heard the door separating the kitchen from the sitting room creak open and I immediately felt someone’s presence lingering in the room. I knew it was my mum so I didn’t bother look up from my hands. I knew what I would be met with if I looked at her so I didn’t bother. I could never meet her up to her expectations so I never tried. Anytime I looked at her, her expression would be one of longing. No matter the emotions she was feeling at a time, she always had that longing desire that I was the perfect child who had a well-paying job and a beautiful wife with cute children. She wished that when we made eye contact, I would hold it up for at-least thirty seconds. She wished that I didn’t need her protection from anyone, which she didn’t have to worry about being there for but that it would be vice versa. She wished when she took me out, people never stared and children never pointed at the grown up man who acted like an immature mad person. She wished she could decipher the emotions laced beneath my actions, she wished I was normal. She longed for so many things that even I knew I couldn’t give to her. I just didn’t understand why she still hoped, trying to fix me even though she wasn’t actually putting any effort. She stood close to me and I could feel her eyes on me. I shifted uncomfortably under her gaze. I suddenly felt her hands on my shoulder, a second didn’t pass before I flinched away sending her hand flying in shock. I still didn’t understand how she was still startled at my reactions to her thought, I mean the reactions came half of the time she touched me, and the other half I just acted like no one was around. I just want to stand in front of her and tell her to stop with her touches. I looked at her from beneath my eye lashes, she looked really. I understood that she would love to hold her son close to her chest once in a while and I’m tried my best not to shudder away from her touches but I wished she understood me too. She shouldn’t expect me to just all of a sudden jump up and give her a hug especially when she metaphorically attacks me with her touches. “Tobi, mommy is going out to work ok? I’ll send Aunt Shelby over to look after you” she said snapping me out of my reverie. I stared wide eyed to the floor, her words sending shivers down my spine. This was one of my mom’s wonderful characters, always going out early in the morning and coming back late at night always living me with the frightful witch, her younger sister. I was terrified of her and she knew it. I looked up to see my mother’s back already turned towards me as it moved farther and farther away from me. “I w…wa…want dada, aunt Sh…helby’s bad” I blurted out stuttering. I looked down immediately feeling really disappointed in myself, before I would speak, I would construct a perfect sentence in my head but when I spoke, I spoke like a stuttering five year old who knew nothing about sentence construction. I didn’t know when my mother came towards me so I was a little startled when she crouched down in front of me. I managed to take a peek of her state, her eyebrows were creased and her nose was used to separate her thumb and index finger. I knew she was trying to suppress her anger; she always tried to hide her anger whenever it came to me, but most times it never worked. I didn’t get why she got angry anytime I talked about my dad. I missed him so much and her reaction to any topic related to him wasn’t helping me get over him. The last time I saw my dad, I was just 13. He didn’t come home from work and mom threw all of his possessions away. She was extremely sensitive at that time and she tried to shield her emotions from me even when I could clearly see through that thin and fake smile of hers. I always asked about my dad but all she did was shove the topic aside. “How many times have I told you that your father is not coming back, he left us and he won’t come back” she said trying really hard to keep her voice down. “I w…want him b…back” I whined “Tobi doesn’t llllike Aunt Shelby, Aunt Shelby bad and wicked” “Tobi stop acting like a child and try to understand” mother snapped. “You are 26 for crying out loud a full grown man. Try to understand our situation I spend all my time working and the I have to leave you in the care of someone, I can’t leave you with a stranger who would hurt you, your aunt is really and she is always there to help so stop acting like a brat and be grateful” I kept my gaze on the floor and moved my head away from her sending the message that I was angry. She heaved a sigh and soon stood up “goodbye Tobi she murmured as she left”. She was scared of leaving me with someone who would hurt me but she just couldn’t see that the enemy within. She was blinded with love and trust for her sister that she couldn’t see what was going on. I moved from the chair I sat on to lie down on the couch as I thought of everything soon I drifted off to sleep. “FUNMI!!!” I heard someone call out loudly but I ignored the voice trying to drift back to sleep, then it occurred to me, there is only one person who would come to visit us and call my mum by her first name. Aunt Shelby. At the thought of her name, my eyes shut open with dread as I quickly sat up on the couch which I had fallen asleep. I looked at her as she stepped into the sitting room, her intimidating figure touring over me as I looked to the floor. She was slightly taller than me, had a perfectly oval shaped face and her pointed nose instantly told one the reason her rich husband took an interest in her. Unlike my mum, my Aunt was pretty rich, and she didn’t fail to tell everyone through her dressing and style. I soon felt the space beside the spot I was seated dip down and before I could register what was happening, I felt hands grab my arms and claws roughly digging into them. “Can’t you greet or didn’t your mother teach you how to” I quickly realized that I had totally ignored her when she came in “Sorry, g…g…good morn…n...ing Shelby” I blurted out before I realized I had not called her aunt. The pain in my arm suddenly increased, and I could feel the blood stopped circulating. “So I’m now your mate? Eh? You don’t know how to talk to your elders again?” I’m sssorry “ I started, trying to keep track of my words “good m…morning Aunt Shelby “ I said slowing down to make sure I didn’t say anything wrong. She let go of my hand and I took that as my cue to run to my room and lock the doors, but my aunt wasn’t having any of that she quickly grabbed my wrist and her claws found their ways into my skin and I could feel old wounds reopening and these were not just physical injuries. I struggled to get out of her hold and when I did, I heard her hiss. I knew I had done something I was going to regret. I manage to look at her from the corners of my eyes she stared vehemently at her finger nails before snapping her eyes up at me. I quickly looked down not wanting to get into trouble for looking at her. “Look at what you caused you brat, you broke my nails.” I stood there in the awkward silence, rooted to the spot and not able to move. A few seconds passed before the next action was taken, I felt a stinging and burning sensation come on my right cheek sending my head to the opposite direction. I felt the urge to cry but I couldn’t find any tears. The next thing I knew, I was on the floor the air inside of me knocked out by the shoe colliding with my stomach. I was still wondering how I got to the floor with so much pain radiating through my body when I felt myself being turned around so my back was on the floor. I felt this pressure on my stomach and I felt a weight on me. As I gasped for air I discovered the weight on me was my aunt standing on me. She bent down and looked at me before spitting on my face. The expression she had on, proved my thoughts to be right, I had a blank expression on. She hated the fact that I never expressed my pain anytime she hurt me. She knew as well as I did that she hurt me but I still never showed any form of emotions. This usually got her angry and she’d torture me even more. I also did not know why I usually had an emotionless around her, I usually cried when mom scolded me or when I wasn’t given what I wanted but when she tortured me I was never able to show how I felt. I knew she hated that fact, and I tried my best to show any emotion at all I tried my best to cry but it was as if my brain would have other plans and refused to give in to my plea. The torture had the same routine every time I started by begging but she never budged saying I wasn’t sorry, and my face wasn’t showing the emotions she wanted to see and then I go blank. It would be like I became numb and wasn’t feeling any pain again. I did feel pain, every bit of it but I just wouldn’t know how to respond to it. She kept on hitting me on the face and stomach until she became bored of my reaction and an evil smirk crept on her face. The smirk told me one thing, today was one of those days she refused to give up on seeing me in pain and she was going to make a drastic move to fulfil her desire but the problem was very simple I didn’t know what her moves were going to be today. I felt her warm palm on my cheek, and the feeling scared me to death. I knew there was only one reason she would decide to give me a soothing and soft touch and I didn’t like the thoughts of it. It killed me. It had been over a month since she took to this measure to hurt me. She moved her hand on my cheek slowly making me shiver and squirm to get out of her hold. I looked at her, she had a smile on. My reaction made her know that she had the effect on me. She knew that doing this would still not bring out the result she wanted but I had a feeling she was also doing it for the fun of it. She slid her hand under my shirt and placed it on my bare chest I could already feel the goosebumps forming all over my body. She moved her hand lightly on my skin sending this ticklish sensation round my body. She moved down to my waistline and then slipped her hand into my trousers to my crotch. She kept her hand on it for a while “it so warm” she whispered grabbing a handful of my scrotum and p***s. I winced in pain before I began twitching my head from side to side as if it was going to snap. I saw everything in a blur which made me know that my eyeballs were left in an abnormal state. I tried fixing my eyes and stopping my head from twitching but the more I tried the harder it got, like I had no control of my actions at all. I began sweating I couldn’t stand it, I wanted to cry out I wanted to scream out, tell everyone what has been happening but the tears wouldn’t come out and no one would believe what I said not even my mum. Removing her hand from its position, she ripped my clothes from me leaving me with only my boxers. I quickly felt the need to cover up myself from the mysterious cold wind that was chilling my spines so I wrapped my hands around myself and curved into a ball. After my actions, I just knew I had made the wrong decision so I tried to quickly unwrap myself hoping she wouldn’t take note of what I did. But what I thought to be quick was extremely slow she was aware of what I did and what happened next didn’t take me by surprise. I got a resounding slap to the cheek and ear and I knew that if I was lighter in complexion, it would have been bruised. She never liked me touching my body whenever she hurt me like this she always called it hers I didn’t understand why she would call my kind of body hers. Unlike other grown men, I didn’t have a six pack and I wasn’t muscular I just had this medium sized protruding stomach which really disgusted me. I didn’t even realize that she had left me alone to my thoughts. I wondered where she had gone to; I knew that she couldn’t have just left me alone with my thought so I decided that I would make a run for it before she got back. I would go to my room, lock my door and then hide under my bed until my mother got back. I stood up, the pain throbbing from every part of my body made me fall back down. I then began crawling towards the stair case I got to the foot and I began climbing on all four. ‘1…2…3’ I began counting each step I got on. ‘Only a few more to go’ I had thought to myself before I had felt my head swing forward hitting the edge of the stairs. It felt like my head was being drummed on as I felt dizzy. I touched my fore head and I felt a warm liquid substance oozing from the part which I had just hit. Before I could digest what was happening, I was being dragged up the stairs my body pain increasing ten times more. I got tossed on the bed with so much effort, I could see her panting heavily; I might not be strong but I weighed a lot. I tried getting up but she wasn’t having any of it as she pushed me back to the bed forcefully, an involuntary whimper escaped from my mouth making me cringe at both my pathetic voice and self. She went behind her large cupboard and brought out a rope, she stalked towards me and began tying my wrist I struggled under her grip, twisting and turning my wrists. She slapped me and told me to stay still, not wanting to give up I got frustrated and I bit she quickly gave me two blows one to my jaw the other to my cheek I quickly stayed still and stared her dead in the eyes. I didn’t know why I was doing that but I tried to break the ‘staring contest’ and I couldn’t. I thought that I would succumb to the hatred and anger in her eyes but I didn’t. She soon blinked and her eyes held fear but she soon covered it up with anger I knew she was creeped out by my long stare. The anger she showed made me cower in fear and this made an evil smile creep up on her face. She kept on tying until she tied my hands and legs to all four corners of the bed. I just stayed still. She scurried out of the room and came back with something so familiar; a camera. She was going to do this, she was going to hurt me and she would sit me down and make me watch the disgusting torture and then post it on that annoyingly irritating site. She fumbled with the device a little bit before its red dim light began blinking then she kept it on the white drawer which was about 6 feet from the bed. She came close to me and put her finger tips directly under the waist band of my boxers. She then dragged the elastic band down moving my boxers with it until it got to my ankle. She moved her hand softly and seductively on my bare chest and she peppered my neck and face with rough kisses. She climbed on me and continued with her routine until she felt something protruding her bum. She smiled. I hated myself for what just happened, how could I feel this way, how could I get excited over something so disgusting. I felt disgusting, I felt stupid, I hated myself. I always hated myself and she just kept on reminding me about that, about how pathetic and worthless I was. She soon pulled her lace lingerie and threw them across the room. And I did what I always do whenever she hurt me like this. I blocked everything out, I blocked the events out. I blocked the memories out and my mind became a clear and opened field. ***** ***** ***** ***** ***** ***** ***** I opened my eyes wide when I realized she was off of me. I didn’t fall asleep; I just blocked her out, closed my eyes and pictured a white sheet with stains all over. That sheet represented me. I felt filthy and dirty for letting her do that to me but I couldn’t actually do anything to stop her I was just a weakling, her puppet and she had every control over my life. My hands were suddenly freed, and on cue my legs were also freed but I already gave up on running. I looked around the room, this room that brought bad memories with it, and this room that became my torture room. This room would remind me that I was being hurt and abused under my mother’s nose and she didn’t even know. What was I thinking, she didn’t even have time for me, and she never paid any attention. I was just another form of burden on her. I knew it and I knew that was what she thought of me. I heard shuffling at the corner of the room and I snapped my heard towards the direction of the noise I saw her still naked holding the camera she smiled and dropped the camera back on the counter. She came towards and shot me a look of disgust. She pushed me to the floor and dragged me. I knew where she was taking me to; I knew why she was bringing the ropes along with. This torture routine has become so familiar to me that I knew apparently all the steps it was actually rare for her to add a new step to the other steps. She dragged me into the bathroom in my room, and put me in the bathtub. She used the ropes to tie my two hands to the shower pipe and my legs to the bottom of the toilet seat. I tried to get comfortable in the agonizing pain but it was no use. Then it hit me, it felt like my body was on fire. I squirmed and scurried trying to get away from the painful heat but it was impossible I was tied down, I was stuck, just the way I had been all my life. I was in this loop, no matter what I tried no matter how I ran; no matter how I screamed I was still trapped I was trapped with this mental ailment, trapped with my uncaring mother, trapped with Aunt Shelby. I was stuck with that hollow and empty feeling in me, the empty feeling that hurt so bad even though there was nothing there. Aunt Shelby snickered as she walked away soon after the pain started; I became numb to it feeling it only a little bit. She would usually leave me in steaming water and she would be gone for a long time, I don’t know to where but my guess would be to clear the mess she made. After about an hour of dying in the little pain, she came back in. she unblocked the tub hole to flush the water away, she then untied me and made me stand still on one spot. She pulled the sweat shirt and bum short she had worn and stepped in the tub with me. She picked up a bar of soap and sponge. She wet the sponge and made it foam with the soap. She rubbed the soap quickly around my body before she started scrubbing hard. I winced once in a while due to the pain; I stood in that spot not moving a muscle for the whole fifteen minutes she scrubbed the sponge on my body. She was kind enough to turn the water temperature down to cool, I sighed in relief as the cold water touched my sore body relaxing my nerves. My moment was cut short when I was dragged out of the bath tub into my bedroom. I stood in the middle of the room trying to shield enough skin as possible from the breeze coming from the fan without her taking note of it. She searched through my cupboard and drawer, bringing out a pair of boxers, a pair of khaki camouflage three quarter shorts, and baby blue polo. With her help, I tried slipping into my boxer. Just as I was about to take it all the way up, she clawed my p***s and before I could see it, she wore my boxers and forcefully wore my shirt and short. I could feel the blood slipping from that part of me that just got scratched but I dared not tend to it. 1 I sat on my comfortable chair, as I twisted and turned the sides and corners of the rubik’s cubes trapped in my hands. I found this small cube rather fascinating, how its parts were loosely tight, waiting for someone to twist them until their colors matched both in rows and columns. Yet, no matter how much you turned the rows and columns, it would always take a while for one to complete the complicated puzzle. My shaky hands were not ready to let my brain think as they would constantly make a move which was probably uncalled for, making the puzzle even harder for me. I heard the door separating the kitchen from the sitting room creak open and I immediately felt someone’s presence lingering in the room. I knew it was my mum so I didn’t bother look up from my hands. I knew what I would be met with if I looked at her so I didn’t bother. I could never meet her up to her expectations so I never tried. Anytime I looked at her, her expression would be one of longing. No matter the emotions she was feeling at a time, she always had that longing desire that I was the perfect child who had a well-paying job and a beautiful wife with cute children. She wished that when we made eye contact, I would hold it up for at-least thirty seconds. She wished that I didn’t need her protection from anyone, which she didn’t have to worry about being there for but that it would be vice versa. She wished when she took me out, people never stared and children never pointed at the grown up man who acted like an immature mad person. She wished she could decipher the emotions laced beneath my actions, she wished I was normal. She longed for so many things that even I knew I couldn’t give to her. I just didn’t understand why she still hoped, trying to fix me even though she wasn’t actually putting any effort. She stood close to me and I could feel her eyes on me. I shifted uncomfortably under her gaze. I suddenly felt her hands on my shoulder, a second didn’t pass before I flinched away sending her hand flying in shock. I still didn’t understand how she was still startled at my reactions to her thought, I mean the reactions came half of the time she touched me, and the other half I just acted like no one was around. I just want to stand in front of her and tell her to stop with her touches. I looked at her from beneath my eye lashes, she looked really. I understood that she would love to hold her son close to her chest once in a while and I’m tried my best not to shudder away from her touches but I wished she understood me too. She shouldn’t expect me to just all of a sudden jump up and give her a hug especially when she metaphorically attacks me with her touches. “Tobi, mommy is going out to work ok? I’ll send Aunt Shelby over to look after you” she said snapping me out of my reverie. I stared wide eyed to the floor, her words sending shivers down my spine. This was one of my mom’s wonderful characters, always going out early in the morning and coming back late at night always living me with the frightful witch, her younger sister. I was terrified of her and she knew it. I looked up to see my mother’s back already turned towards me as it moved farther and farther away from me. “I w…wa…want dada, aunt Sh…helby’s bad” I blurted out stuttering. I looked down immediately feeling really disappointed in myself, before I would speak, I would construct a perfect sentence in my head but when I spoke, I spoke like a stuttering five year old who knew nothing about sentence construction. I didn’t know when my mother came towards me so I was a little startled when she crouched down in front of me. I managed to take a peek of her state, her eyebrows were creased and her nose was used to separate her thumb and index finger. I knew she was trying to suppress her anger; she always tried to hide her anger whenever it came to me, but most times it never worked. I didn’t get why she got angry anytime I talked about my dad. I missed him so much and her reaction to any topic related to him wasn’t helping me get over him. The last time I saw my dad, I was just 13. He didn’t come home from work and mom threw all of his possessions away. She was extremely sensitive at that time and she tried to shield her emotions from me even when I could clearly see through that thin and fake smile of hers. I always asked about my dad but all she did was shove the topic aside. “How many times have I told you that your father is not coming back, he left us and he won’t come back” she said trying really hard to keep her voice down. “I w…want him b…back” I whined “Tobi doesn’t llllike Aunt Shelby, Aunt Shelby bad and wicked” “Tobi stop acting like a child and try to understand” mother snapped. “You are 26 for crying out loud a full grown man. Try to understand our situation I spend all my time working and the I have to leave you in the care of someone, I can’t leave you with a stranger who would hurt you, your aunt is really and she is always there to help so stop acting like a brat and be grateful” I kept my gaze on the floor and moved my head away from her sending the message that I was angry. She heaved a sigh and soon stood up “goodbye Tobi she murmured as she left”. She was scared of leaving me with someone who would hurt me but she just couldn’t see that the enemy within. She was blinded with love and trust for her sister that she couldn’t see what was going on. I moved from the chair I sat on to lie down on the couch as I thought of everything soon I drifted off to sleep. “FUNMI!!!” I heard someone call out loudly but I ignored the voice trying to drift back to sleep, then it occurred to me, there is only one person who would come to visit us and call my mum by her first name. Aunt Shelby. At the thought of her name, my eyes shut open with dread as I quickly sat up on the couch which I had fallen asleep. I looked at her as she stepped into the sitting room, her intimidating figure touring over me as I looked to the floor. She was slightly taller than me, had a perfectly oval shaped face and her pointed nose instantly told one the reason her rich husband took an interest in her. Unlike my mum, my Aunt was pretty rich, and she didn’t fail to tell everyone through her dressing and style. I soon felt the space beside the spot I was seated dip down and before I could register what was happening, I felt hands grab my arms and claws roughly digging into them. “Can’t you greet or didn’t your mother teach you how to” I quickly realized that I had totally ignored her when she came in “Sorry, g…g…good morn…n...ing Shelby” I blurted out before I realized I had not called her aunt. The pain in my arm suddenly increased, and I could feel the blood stopped circulating. “So I’m now your mate? Eh? You don’t know how to talk to your elders again?” I’m sssorry “ I started, trying to keep track of my words “good m…morning Aunt Shelby “ I said slowing down to make sure I didn’t say anything wrong. She let go of my hand and I took that as my cue to run to my room and lock the doors, but my aunt wasn’t having any of that she quickly grabbed my wrist and her claws found their ways into my skin and I could feel old wounds reopening and these were not just physical injuries. I struggled to get out of her hold and when I did, I heard her hiss. I knew I had done something I was going to regret. I manage to look at her from the corners of my eyes she stared vehemently at her finger nails before snapping her eyes up at me. I quickly looked down not wanting to get into trouble for looking at her. “Look at what you caused you brat, you broke my nails.” I stood there in the awkward silence, rooted to the spot and not able to move. A few seconds passed before the next action was taken, I felt a stinging and burning sensation come on my right cheek sending my head to the opposite direction. I felt the urge to cry but I couldn’t find any tears. The next thing I knew, I was on the floor the air inside of me knocked out by the shoe colliding with my stomach. I was still wondering how I got to the floor with so much pain radiating through my body when I felt myself being turned around so my back was on the floor. I felt this pressure on my stomach and I felt a weight on me. As I gasped for air I discovered the weight on me was my aunt standing on me. She bent down and looked at me before spitting on my face. The expression she had on, proved my thoughts to be right, I had a blank expression on. She hated the fact that I never expressed my pain anytime she hurt me. She knew as well as I did that she hurt me but I still never showed any form of emotions. This usually got her angry and she’d torture me even more. I also did not know why I usually had an emotionless around her, I usually cried when mom scolded me or when I wasn’t given what I wanted but when she tortured me I was never able to show how I felt. I knew she hated that fact, and I tried my best to show any emotion at all I tried my best to cry but it was as if my brain would have other plans and refused to give in to my plea. The torture had the same routine every time I started by begging but she never budged saying I wasn’t sorry, and my face wasn’t showing the emotions she wanted to see and then I go blank. It would be like I became numb and wasn’t feeling any pain again. I did feel pain, every bit of it but I just wouldn’t know how to respond to it. She kept on hitting me on the face and stomach until she became bored of my reaction and an evil smirk crept on her face. The smirk told me one thing, today was one of those days she refused to give up on seeing me in pain and she was going to make a drastic move to fulfil her desire but the problem was very simple I didn’t know what her moves were going to be today. I felt her warm palm on my cheek, and the feeling scared me to death. I knew there was only one reason she would decide to give me a soothing and soft touch and I didn’t like the thoughts of it. It killed me. It had been over a month since she took to this measure to hurt me. She moved her hand on my cheek slowly making me shiver and squirm to get out of her hold. I looked at her, she had a smile on. My reaction made her know that she had the effect on me. She knew that doing this would still not bring out the result she wanted but I had a feeling she was also doing it for the fun of it. She slid her hand under my shirt and placed it on my bare chest I could already feel the goosebumps forming all over my body. She moved her hand lightly on my skin sending this ticklish sensation round my body. She moved down to my waistline and then slipped her hand into my trousers to my crotch. She kept her hand on it for a while “it so warm” she whispered grabbing a handful of my scrotum and penis. I winced in pain before I began twitching my head from side to side as if it was going to snap. I saw everything in a blur which made me know that my eyeballs were left in an abnormal state. I tried fixing my eyes and stopping my head from twitching but the more I tried the harder it got, like I had no control of my actions at all. I began sweating I couldn’t stand it, I wanted to cry out I wanted to scream out, tell everyone what has been happening but the tears wouldn’t come out and no one would believe what I said not even my mum. Removing her hand from its position, she ripped my clothes from me leaving me with only my boxers. I quickly felt the need to cover up myself from the mysterious cold wind that was chilling my spines so I wrapped my hands around myself and curved into a ball. After my actions, I just knew I had made the wrong decision so I tried to quickly unwrap myself hoping she wouldn’t take note of what I did. But what I thought to be quick was extremely slow she was aware of what I did and what happened next didn’t take me by surprise. I got a resounding slap to the cheek and ear and I knew that if I was lighter in complexion, it would have been bruised. She never liked me touching my body whenever she hurt me like this she always called it hers I didn’t understand why she would call my kind of body hers. Unlike other grown men, I didn’t have a six pack and I wasn’t muscular I just had this medium sized protruding stomach which really disgusted me. I didn’t even realize that she had left me alone to my thoughts. I wondered where she had gone to; I knew that she couldn’t have just left me alone with my thought so I decided that I would make a run for it before she got back. I would go to my room, lock my door and then hide under my bed until my mother got back. I stood up, the pain throbbing from every part of my body made me fall back down. I then began crawling towards the stair case I got to the foot and I began climbing on all four. ‘1…2…3’ I began counting each step I got on. ‘Only a few more to go’ I had thought to myself before I had felt my head swing forward hitting the edge of the stairs. It felt like my head was being drummed on as I felt dizzy. I touched my fore head and I felt a warm liquid substance oozing from the part which I had just hit. Before I could digest what was happening, I was being dragged up the stairs my body pain increasing ten times more. I got tossed on the bed with so much effort, I could see her panting heavily; I might not be strong but I weighed a lot. I tried getting up but she wasn’t having any of it as she pushed me back to the bed forcefully, an involuntary whimper escaped from my mouth making me cringe at both my pathetic voice and self. She went behind her large cupboard and brought out a rope, she stalked towards me and began tying my wrist I struggled under her grip, twisting and turning my wrists. She slapped me and told me to stay still, not wanting to give up I got frustrated and I bit she quickly gave me two blows one to my jaw the other to my cheek I quickly stayed still and stared her dead in the eyes. I didn’t know why I was doing that but I tried to break the ‘staring contest’ and I couldn’t. I thought that I would succumb to the hatred and anger in her eyes but I didn’t. She soon blinked and her eyes held fear but she soon covered it up with anger I knew she was creeped out by my long stare. The anger she showed made me cower in fear and this made an evil smile creep up on her face. She kept on tying until she tied my hands and legs to all four corners of the bed. I just stayed still. She scurried out of the room and came back with something so familiar; a camera. She was going to do this, she was going to hurt me and she would sit me down and make me watch the disgusting torture and then post it on that annoyingly irritating site. She fumbled with the device a little bit before its red dim light began blinking then she kept it on the white drawer which was about 6 feet from the bed. She came close to me and put her finger tips directly under the waist band of my boxers. She then dragged the elastic band down moving my boxers with it until it got to my ankle. She moved her hand softly and seductively on my bare chest and she peppered my neck and face with rough kisses. She climbed on me and continued with her routine until she felt something protruding her bum. She smiled. I hated myself for what just happened, how could I feel this way, how could I get excited over something so disgusting. I felt disgusting, I felt stupid, I hated myself. I always hated myself and she just kept on reminding me about that, about how pathetic and worthless I was. She soon pulled her lace lingerie and threw them across the room. And I did what I always do whenever she hurt me like this. I blocked everything out, I blocked the events out. I blocked the memories out and my mind became a clear and opened field. ***** ***** ***** ***** ***** ***** ***** I opened my eyes wide when I realized she was off of me. I didn’t fall asleep; I just blocked her out, closed my eyes and pictured a white sheet with stains all over. That sheet represented me. I felt filthy and dirty for letting her do that to me but I couldn’t actually do anything to stop her I was just a weakling, her puppet and she had every control over my life. My hands were suddenly freed, and on cue my legs were also freed but I already gave up on running. I looked around the room, this room that brought bad memories with it, and this room that became my torture room. This room would remind me that I was being hurt and abused under my mother’s nose and she didn’t even know. What was I thinking, she didn’t even have time for me, and she never paid any attention. I was just another form of burden on her. I knew it and I knew that was what she thought of me. I heard shuffling at the corner of the room and I snapped my heard towards the direction of the noise I saw her still naked holding the camera she smiled and dropped the camera back on the counter. She came towards and shot me a look of disgust. She pushed me to the floor and dragged me. I knew where she was taking me to; I knew why she was bringing the ropes along with. This torture routine has become so familiar to me that I knew apparently all the steps it was actually rare for her to add a new step to the other steps. She dragged me into the bathroom in my room, and put me in the bathtub. She used the ropes to tie my two hands to the shower pipe and my legs to the bottom of the toilet seat. I tried to get comfortable in the agonizing pain but it was no use. Then it hit me, it felt like my body was on fire. I squirmed and scurried trying to get away from the painful heat but it was impossible I was tied down, I was stuck, just the way I had been all my life. I was in this loop, no matter what I tried no matter how I ran; no matter how I screamed I was still trapped I was trapped with this mental ailment, trapped with my uncaring mother, trapped with Aunt Shelby. I was stuck with that hollow and empty feeling in me, the empty feeling that hurt so bad even though there was nothing there. Aunt Shelby snickered as she walked away soon after the pain started; I became numb to it feeling it only a little bit. She would usually leave me in steaming water and she would be gone for a long time, I don’t know to where but my guess would be to clear the mess she made. After about an hour of dying in the little pain, she came back in. she unblocked the tub hole to flush the water away, she then untied me and made me stand still on one spot. She pulled the sweat shirt and bum short she had worn and stepped in the tub with me. She picked up a bar of soap and sponge. She wet the sponge and made it foam with the soap. She rubbed the soap quickly around my body before she started scrubbing hard. I winced once in a while due to the pain; I stood in that spot not moving a muscle for the whole fifteen minutes she scrubbed the sponge on my body. She was kind enough to turn the water temperature down to cool, I sighed in relief as the cold water touched my sore body relaxing my nerves. My moment was cut short when I was dragged out of the bath tub into my bedroom. I stood in the middle of the room trying to shield enough skin as possible from the breeze coming from the fan without her taking note of it. She searched through my cupboard and drawer, bringing out a pair of boxers, a pair of khaki camouflage three quarter shorts, and baby blue polo. With her help, I tried slipping into my boxer. Just as I was about to take it all the way up, she clawed my p***s and before I could see it, she wore my boxers and forcefully wore my shirt and short. I could feel the blood slipping from that part of me that just got scratched but I dared not tend to it.