Bind My Soul to You [jikook oneshot]

※ · —— · ❆ · —— · ※ Two sets of footprints disturbed the layer of thin snow, Creating gentle patterns in the moonlight’s tranquil glow. The breeze of winter - harsh and cold, Was always present in this story told. Though hours in and so chilled to bone, Above the lake, he was not alone. As the other came with sparkling eyes, He could no more hide his heart’s disguise. He laughed, he chuckled, he slipped away, He wished the morning never came their way. It was joyous, so pure and free, He tried to burn the other into his memory. The sound of his giggles, the warmth of his hand, The flutter in heartbeat, once night fell over land. He got closer, he saw more. Felt his heart burst and then come whole; No more bothered by the fear, as their feelings became clear. This most wonderful a moment, the most precious of their bliss, A secret held between them, finally sealed with gentle kiss. But then a c***k in flawless surface and disturbance of the sound, Broke the new-tied souls apart, though connection’s still spellbound. One of them now cold to touch whilst the other lost control, As darkness slowly crept around and froze the empty soul. ※ · —— · ❆ · —— · ※ Falling. The feeling of losing your balance and plummeting down—down into the darkness, down into the deep, down into the cold unknown. Jimin had never fallen from high above. He’d never broken a bone in his life, never stepped over the ledge, or had a misfortunate staircase accident. His body didn't know how it felt to actually fall. The little, unintentional tripping over his feet not counting, the young man had somehow managed to play it safe all his life. At least, as much as he remembered. Still, he felt like he was falling. He felt like some part of his most hidden soul was missing from his life. The one that would keep him going, keep him away from the pain. Keep him away from sinking. So he fell—fell through confusion, fell through anguish. He fell through a loss he didn’t know he had experienced. It became awfully hard to handle during Christmas time. Each year, as the holiday season grew near, Park Jimin felt himself grow more incomplete. He tried to find different ways to fill the gap that threatened to drag him under, but nothing seemed to help him stay over the abyss of a lonely existence. He’d tried working till he finally passed out. He tried drinking until the morning after woke him with a giant headache. He tried finding another who could save him from the sorrow, but nothing helped him cope. Nothing came close to keeping him away from his struggle. Today was no different. As Christmas was in full bloom and he had nowhere to turn for comfort, Jimin had yet again agreed to cover the late shift at his aunt’s holiday season store. It could have been a wonderful experience if he didn’t hate Christmas. The cheer and carols on every corner of his town made Jimin’s hands shake. He didn't want to be a part of the celebration, though the peer pressure left him no choice but to participate. It was with another grunt that he finally left his bed, already tired from what was to come. He washed and munched on some leftovers, and listened to the news like any other day before he got ready to face the world. This morning the feeling of loss inside of him was especially noticeable. As Christmas Eve was less than twelve hours away, Jimin grew restless. He remembered clearly how he’d broken down last year, bursting into uncontrollable tears and gasps in the middle of the empty store. This year should be no different. As the interior would probably remind him too much of what he was missing familywise, Jimin decided to stuff a pack of paper tissues inside his back pocket. At this point, he didn't mind spending his time at the shop. Although he’d grown used to living on his own years ago, the despair always punched the strongest during this cheerful time. His parents had disowned him right after he came out, and his aunt was the only part of his family who bothered to call him from time to time. But she never asked Jimin to join any of her holiday events, instead offering him a late shift through Christmas and a chance to earn some extra cash. The young man wasn't sure if he appreciated the gesture or hated it. But it turned out to be beneficial for both, so he agreed. Locking the door and stepping out onto the snow-cleared sidewalk, Jimin shivered. The breeze was almost chilling, suddenly sweeping over his face and leaving him breathless. He walked quickly, passing gleeful families, and trying to ignore the annoying Christmas songs that blasted from different stores. It didn't help to know that he'll have to listen to the same playlist until his shift ended at nine pm. Grumbling to himself, he slipped, catching his balance at the very last moment before he would have so graciously fallen on his ass. He felt his cheeks fill with blood when a gust of wind carried a soft chuckle to his ear. It almost sounded like someone had called his flapping-around cute. But when he straightened his body back up again and self consciously glanced around, there was no one looking at him. Maybe he’d imagined it, after all, these kinds of body movements were too common in the wintertime. To get to his aunt’s store, he had to cross a cobblestone bridge. It was one of the last century builds—with old lanterns on either side that the city still hadn’t changed. And they probably won’t, either, as it was one of the sight-seeing objects for the tourists. Jimin’s eyes, just like any other time he stepped on the old span of stone, turned their attention to the view below. The lake was frozen already, as the winter had hit hard and fast this year, the frozen surface glimmering in places, as ice or snow reflected the few beams of sunlight that broke through the light-grey clouds. Jimin wanted to stop and stare at it forever. To figure out the mystery behind the calm view. The man felt like there was someone there, someone beneath the ice, calling for him, beckoning him to come forth. Asking him to sink down with them. He felt his heart get squeezed with no warning, almost doubled over from the shock of it. Jimin was not clear on why it happened, but he couldn’t deny that it was not the first time. In his thoughts, something tried to break free, to remind him of a memory. The same way something would bang against a wall of glass or ice, asking to be let outside. He gathered himself, stood back straight, and continued on his way. Jimin’s mind now becoming a place where fists knocked and pounded a layer of thickly frozen water. But the lake remained quiet. The ice—undisturbed. Only in that mind of his, some screams still felt unheard. ※ · —— · ❆ · —— · ※