Until Death My Love (R18+)

CHAPTER 12 HEAVEN WHITE

 I got home; I ate dinner first and took the medicine that Sky gave me. I remember what happened to me at school, at the back of the building, they admitted to me that I was the one who pushed Sky to hit by the car. I could do nothing because they were all looking at me and John and holding a knife.

 I obeyed their orders because they might kill me if I did not; I spoke according to what they told me forcibly. After that, John grabbed me again and got in his car. I saw his other friends just laughing outside with Liza.

 John pointed the knife at my neck, my heartbeat was racing, I was having trouble breathing and what I was afraid would happen again. John, he told me to take off my upper uniform. He lowered the car window and called one of his friends to get inside the car to see my body.

 “Lord, please, you take care of my life.” I whispered to myself. John laughed. “Is that starting to pray?” He asked me. Tears welled up in my eyes. His companion got inside the car and Liza and the rest of her companions looked out to see if anyone was coming.

 He took off my uniform; I just wore a shirt and a bra. Their plan did not materialize because a teacher came to the back of the building. the windshield was slightly open and I heard the teacher ask Liza what they were doing there. Liza's only answer is that they will practice in the back of the building because it is said to be a beautiful space because there are not many people. When the teacher left, Liza immediately ran to the car. He told John and his friend not to go ahead with their plans. John immediately let me out of the car and pulled me in front of Liza. "Next time." John told me. I stood in front of them all while Liza laughed at me. “Let's see if Sky still likes you.” She told me. She threw my bag in the trash and they left me alone. I went to the comfort room and cried.

 I can no longer think what they do to me. I am still alive, but little by little they are killing my body and soul as if in hell. I heard an announcement from our school principal that there would be a meeting in the social hall, I went there and sat in the back.

 I lay on my bed while asking myself if God was watching me, or listening to my prayer, because I don't know where else to ask for help. I do not want to endanger my mother's life, as well as my friend Sky. I can no longer think straight.

 I grabbed my notebook and wrote down all my thoughts. It was better for me to die, and they also found out why I wanted to disappear from this world. This is all I can say, the world today is violent, a lot of bad people. They will do everything to step on the lowly creature.

 While writing, I could still hear clicks from the camera, I ignored it. I knew he could see me because my room was on the second floor and it was facing a big tree outside. Only curtains served as a cover for our window. I can also hear my cell phone constantly ringing and calling the unregistered number.

 I cry over all the bad things that have happened to me that I cannot accept. I stopped writing when there was a knock on my door; I also heard my mother's voice outside. I immediately went to bed and covered myself with a blanket to hide my notebook containing the suicide note. My mother came in and brought me milk.

 “Hi, how are you feeling? And why are you awake until now?” Mom asked me. “It's okay, my head just hurts a bit. Just reading.” I answered her. Mom didn't stay in my room for long because she still had worked to do outside, she just left the milk on the table and gave me a kiss on my forehead. Fortunately, she did not notice that I was still crying until now.

 I still drank the milk my mom gave me, I consumed it and I wrote again. I also wrote there my prayer to the Lord and about my good friend Sky. After I wrote, I hid my notebook in the bottom of my clothes. My cell phone rang again and I saw a message from Sky.

 I looked at the clock to see what time it was, past 2300h that night; I opened the message and read it. “I'm going to your house tomorrow to visit you with John, he wants to see you too.” I dropped my cell phone and my whole body went cold, why did he even have to include John.

 Doesn't he really remember anything I said? Another message from Sky came. “I also have a question for you.” I wondered if he would ask me about himself, how he was treated, and who took him to the hospital. I lay down on the bed again and ignored my cell phone. I closed my eyes to sleep again.

 I woke up at 0100h in the morning, I sat on my bed, and my mother was still not in our bed. I got up and went out of my room. I went downstairs to look for my mother. I saw her writing in the living room. I approached her to ask what she was doing.

 She just told me that someone had donated a lot of money to us, so she was sorting out the list where it would be spent. I am happy to see my mother happy, because this is the only thing I can draw strength from. She told me to go upstairs again and go to the bedroom to sleep.

 I followed my silly mom. I went back into the room and lay down, my cell phone rang again, and I picked it up on the floor and looked at who the texted me. A message to an unknown number, I opened it and I was surprised by what I saw.

 I saw my nude photo on the bed and remember it was in Liza's room at the party, they undressed me and many saw my body, I do not know what they did when I inhaled smoke and fell asleep. I scrolled down and I also saw the pictures in the comfort room that I was going to change clothes. There is a hidden camera placed in the woman's comfort room.

 I continued scrolling down when I saw a video clip; I pressed the play button when I saw myself naked in John's car. John's face and body were blurred while mine was very open. I saw my delicate body parts and how John was controlling me.

 Two videos were passed to me, the first was that we were in the parking lot, the night he invited me to date him and the second was that he was with his friend in the car. I don't want to, they are overdoing it.

 I took a deep breath and lay down on my bed again. My pillow was soaking wet because of the tears coming out of my eyes, I am hurting myself, I am punching my chest and pinching my skin, I knew it was painful, but what was happening to me hurt me more.

 “Father? Are you still there? Are you real? Do you see my grief, even the questions that hurt me?” I asked the Lord. I can no longer live. I can no longer accept myself, I am so dirty and no one will accept me anymore.

 Until I see the drugs put on the table.

 I got up from my bed and took medicine from the table. I want to die, I want to rest. I opened all the medicine that Sky gave me and I took it all. I have nowhere else to go, no one can help me anymore, and this is the only way to get out of reality. I did not have any medicine left; I consumed it and went to bed again. Until I was dizzy and fell asleep forever.