Chapter 1
The cold water pebbles against my skin as I rinse the last bit of shampoo out of my long dark hair. I’ve been taking cold showers since I was 15 after I learned that it promotes weight loss. It can increase your metabolism by 350% as your body tries to stay warm. For others, being skinny came natural, but for me; the weight just wouldn’t f*****g shed. I was considered small standing at 5’5 and weighing around 130lbs but the doctor said with my chemically imbalanced s**t for a brain, I view myself much bigger than what I am.
I shivered as I stepped onto my bathroom mat and wrapped a towel around me. I padded over to my bed to sit down and start drying off.
A low whistle came from the corner of my room behind me. “Looking good Lex”. I screamed as I hurried and threw myself under the covers wondering why the hell he was in my room. The bed dipped “it’s just me, babe” I roll my eyes because I know exactly who it is. He just has never seen me in all of my glory. He inched closer to me. I held my hand up “A little privacy please” every word laced with annoyance. It was his turn to roll his eyes “Geez Lex, I’ve been a patient man. I thought we were passed this point in our relationship”.
Asher has been my boyfriend for the past 6 months. Although he isn’t what people would call “unattractive”, I just wasn’t drawn to him in any way. He stood only a few inches taller than me at 5’8 with short blonde hair and bright green eyes. I stand pulling the blanket around me tighter “you know I’m not ready, I just need a little more time”. I start making my way to my closet but I only make it halfway before he grabs my arm and slings me around backing me up against the wall. My parents were down stairs so I start to wonder how he got inside. I narrowed my eyes at him “How did you get inside?”. He laughed and the stench of alcohol filled the space between us. “Right through the front door”. Still narrowing my eyes “and my parents?”. He laughs again but louder this time as if I’m telling a funny joke. “Your parents were passed out like always, but that doesn’t even matter. You know they love me and that’s the only reason they show any interest in you.” I gasp as my eyes burn with tears and a knot forms in my throat. He’s right. My parents had nothing to do with me until I started dating him. Dating the star football player gets you a lot of attention. I guess that’s why I was still seeing him. After realizing my parents showed interest in me, I wasn’t ready to let that go. Even though they were heavy drinkers, I still loved them and wanted their acknowledgement.
I’m brought out of my thoughts by him ripping the blanket off of me. “I know you want me too Lex, I know this game you play by being a tease making me want you. You get off on it but I’m not playing anymore.” I stare at him with disbelief “you’re drunk!” I spit at him as he slams himself against me. He’s holding me up with his body. I kick and squirm but he doesn’t budge. This is one of the few times I actually feel small. He has never done this before and there’s been countless of times I have turned him down. He brings his hand up under my jaw holding my face still. He smashes his lips against mine urgently and I feel sick. He’s kissing me ravenously not coming up for air. I bring my hands up pushing and hitting at his chest and shoulders but it does no good. He takes one hand and locks my wrists above my head. His mouth moves down to my neck as his other hand gropes my body anywhere and everywhere. “Please Asher, no you don’t want to do this. You love me please stop” I beg but he shows no signs of hearing me. His fingers stop at my belly “if only this wasn’t so pudgy” he pinches along my hips. Tears are streaming down my face and he brings his mouth back to mine. Sheer panic overcomes me when I realize I’m not strong enough to stop this. I try speaking but it sounds like a bunch of mumbles from him kissing me relentlessly. An idea pops up and I pray that it works. I bite down on his lip hard not letting up even when he starts backing up until I taste the metallic flavor. “You stupid b***h!” I fall to the floor as his body separates from mine. A look if satisfaction must be on my face because when he looks at me he grows angrier. He raises his fist like many times before and hits me across the face. The stinging pain is blinding as I fall completely to the floor. Welcoming the oblivion that I know is coming I take one last look up and see another man coming for Asher. Almost like a moving shadow, he sweeps in and then they’re both gone. The edges of my vision becomes darker and I sink into the darkness willingly.
