The Butler Didn't Do It

So Soiree

The evening arrived along with the first night’s festivities. The ballroom had been decorated with the opulance of the titanic in mind, like a Midwest housewife who only got to go to the city once a year. It was an opulent soiree, with a pianist, Champaign towers (juice for Didi), and fireworks. Everyone was dressed to in their fine evening clothes, the men in tailored suits, and women in sequined silky gowns. Everyone wore the required white gloves, lest a flesh touch flesh. even the butlers were wearing their best white gloves. It was truly a sight to behold.

Guests were walking about, talking to other guests, including hired actors from town who played historical figures. Every guest had had a butler or maid, whose job was to cater to his or her every whim, follow them.

He watched Tanya trail behind a fast-talking Didi. The teenager despised having the more graceful purple-haired girl at her side. When she found her father she talked to him eagerly. Brett noticed that though Paul spoke to his daughter he kept trying to engage Tanya in conversation. Tanya appeared to answer politely, but not try to further the conversation.

Gregory stayed as close to the mass that was Oscar as if he was in orbit. Max was acting as an enthusiastic (when wasn’t he enthusiastic?) aid to the stylish Sylvie.

Brett’s job was to take trays of food around in case someone felt suddenly hungry. It was boring but at least he didn’t have to be in character beyond smiling and bowing slightly. Gregory, despite seemingly living for his job was not having a good time. Oscar was often attempting to engage Lucy or other maids in conversation. Gregory would tell the maid to go fetch something. He saw Oscar talk low to Gregory and the Butler, with a cold face, gave very short answers. Brett wondered what was going on. It was unlike his friend to be rude, even to a ball of creepy like Oscar.

Look what you did!”

Brett looked over his shoulder to see a livid Didi standing with Tanya by the refreshment table. Her dress was stained with purple juice.

“How could you be so clumsy? Aren’t they supposed to train you?”

I’m sorry.” Tanya said tightly.

“You should be!”

Paul sidled up between his daughter and Tanya. “Now Didi, it’s not her fault, this is her first rodeo.” He gave Tanya’s shoulder a little encouraging squeeze. Brett saw her take a deep breath and look into the middle distance. Didi, who had expected more comfort, seemed only angrier.

“She did it on purpose! Because I’m having fun and she---.”

“Enough Didi. Go and change and then return with your manners.” Audrey had appeared before her daughter made a bigger scene.

Unable to think of anything clever to say, Didi rushed off. Tanya followed close behind.

Audrey turned to her ex-husband.

“What is it you want?”

“You know what I want.”

“The shares are mine, I’m not handing them over.

Paul smiled. “Then I’m not letting you ever have full custody of our daughter.”

Audrey opened her mouth to say more, but she saw Brett hovering close by. “We don’t want anything, thank you.”

Brett quickly walked away before he got in trouble.

He came upon Sylvie and Max.

“I’m truly in no need of food.” She said, annoyed.

“But you haven’t eaten! My Nana says—.”

“Actually I change my mind.” Sylvie said suddenly. “Can you get me some shrimp.”

“Sure! I’ll go find some!” Max ran off.

Sylvie smiled. Davidson walked up to her, carrying a tray laden with Champaign flutes and a bottle.

“Is your butler satisfactory my lady?”

She looked up at him. “I’ve had better.”

“Sylvie!”

Oscar, along with Gregory had appeared. “We need to switch butlers! This one is annoying me. He’s being insubordinate.”

“Is this true Gregory?” Davidson asked Gregory.

“I’m just serving him, sir.”

“I afraid they can’t change posts. The boy is our best.”

“I don’t care I want---.“

Dear! How about a toast? Sylvie took up the bottle Davidson had been carrying.

“To our happy life together,” Sylvie said, raising her flute.

Without waiting for Sylvie to finish, Oscar downed his own glass.

“Good stuff, certainly better than Lady Audrey gave me. Did you hear how she’s been treating her ex-husband with the manor shares?”

Manor shares? Brett was intrigued. Sylvie, however, did not seem to want to hear more. She gave him a brilliant smile. “Perhaps you can tell me later. As my servant had disappeared I would like Davidson to escort me to the shrimp table.”

Davidson blinked. “Shrimp?”

Sylvie smiled “Yes, shrimp.” Davidson smiled now too. They walked off.

Brett was starting to suspect that there was not shrimp station.

Lady Martina approached with a cocktail. Hello Oscar, how nice to see you again.

Hello Martina.

Would you dance with an old woman? I remember how good of a dancer you were. You’d never say no to an old lady?”

Oscar dearly wanted to but Martina continued, “Especially one who has interesting news about the estate you own so much of.” She held out a hand.

“Fine.” Oscar took it and led her to the floor where he danced a slow waltz with the woman.

Gregory looked exhausted. Brett was about to offer him a mini beef wellington off his tray when Richardson approached.

There’s my favorite Butler.

Gregory seemed genuinely pleased to see the man. “Hello, sir.”

“You look terrible. Hopefully, Oscar isn’t giving you too much trouble. I know he can be…”

He’s fine sir. It’s better me than someone else.

“Indeed.” He lowered his voice. “After all the accusations last year, well I’m thinking the new no guests downstairs policy is a good thing.”

Gregory nodded. “Only the professor comes down. He just likes to ask questions though.”

Richards was curious. “What kind of questions? Can’t he find it in a book?”

Gregory shrugged. I’d have to ask Lucy, he talks mostly to her and the other girls.”

“You don’t think…”

Gregory shook his head. “I’ve asked, he’s apparently been nothing but a gentleman, despite not paying for the privilege to be so.”

Oscar and Martina returned.

“Richards!” Oscar reached out a hand and gave Richards’ a hearty shake. Martina took her cocktail back from Gregory.

“Ugh, my maid gave me an old-fashioned, like some cruel joke. I must go dispose of it.”

“Wait! Can’t waste a perfectly good old fashioned. He took the drink and downed it. Marina watched him; her thin lips making something like a smile.

“Can always count on you to not let a drink go to waste.” She whirled around and went to find others to dance with.

I too must go see my other guests, take care of yourself, Oscar.” And Rodger disappeared into the throng of people nearby.

Oscar it appeared had not let any drink go to waste. He was having trouble keeping balance. He feet were shuffling and his eyes were unfocused. Still, he was not about to stop.

More Champaign, Butler he said to Gregory. “More Champaign.”

“Are you sure you wouldn’t like a glass of water first.

“Don’t be impertinent! I could have you fired like that.” Oscar tried to snap his fingers but was so drunk that he only succeeded in rubbing them together with a WHISSHH sound. Gregory frowned but poured the man another glass from the tray he carried. Brett watched from a buffet table nearby, pretending to tidy the little Wellingtons. He looked down for a second to make the illusion more real.

CRASH! A Champaign bottle hit the floor. Oh great more to clean up, Brett thought as he looked up.

“But he saw quiet dignity of servants moving to clean things up. He saw Gregory face to face with an angry Oscar.

Everyone in the room was now watching.

“I said clean it up!”

“Like hell, I’m going to listen to you!”

“You think you have any clout here? You’re just a butler and not even a very good one at that.”

“You don’t really live in an imaginary world where you can do anything you want.”

“You’re the one living in an imaginary world! Do you really think you can affect me at all?” He laughed and raised his glass. “Cheers, butler, to the best job you’ll ever have.”

Oscar took a big swig of this drink. “Now, where is Richards? I want to make sure you’re firrrrred.” He slurred. He seemed to forget his words. But then his face began to convulse along with the rest of his body. He gasped for breath. Failing to catch it, he fell to the floor.

Gregory took a step back, horrified. Everyone else stayed where they were, frozen by the man writhing on the floor, making gurgling sounds. Brett closed his eyes, wishing it would stop. And then it did. When he opened them again, a grim sight greeted him.

Oscar lay face down n the floor, His gurgling had stopped. The cup he had clutched in his hand rolled away from his limp hand. The sound of it was the only audible thing in the room.

Didi ended the stillness by clapping her hands together in joy. “Oh! Is this a murder mystery party?”

Davidson walked over, and check for a pulse. “It is now.”

“It’s him!

“Someone grab him quickly! Before he kills again.”

Before Gregory could do anything other staff members tackled him to the ground.

“Let him go!” Brett heard from behind him. Lucy was rushing towards the pile of bodies.

“Miss Emerson, you need to back away.”

Richards strode forward from a crowd that had gathered near Oscar’s corpse.

“Gregory, I had thought anyone might do this but you…” He shook his head in disappointment.

“I didn’t do anything!” Gregory shouted from under several bodies holding him down.

“OSCAR!”

Sylvie had arrived on the scene. In a whirl of lavender silk, the much younger wife threw herself her knees next to the dead man. “Is he alright? Speak to me, Oscar!”

Davidson came over to stand behind her. He grabbed her elbows and set her upright, looking into her eyes.

“This isn’t a sight for a lady. May I escort you back to your room?”

Sylvie looked into the manservant’s eyes. She nodded. With his hand on the small of her back, Davidson escorted the now less-than-grieving widow out of the ballroom.

“Has someone even bothered to call the police?” The professor asked no one in particular.

“Richards won’t let us have phones.” One of the staff said.

“We do strive for some sense of historical accuracy here but fear not, we have summoned the police. You should all retire to your rooms, so one tramples the crime scene. “

Minutes later Brett was among several of the other Help, discussing what had just occurred.

“He definitely did it,” Lars announced loudly to the room of shocked maids and butlers.

“Not Gregory!” came a female voice.

“Yes, high and mighty Gregory!” said Lars

“Just because he got promoted ahead of you, it’s no reason to disparage his good name.” A butler wearing red glasses retorted.

Lars laughed cruelly. “He got promoted ahead of me for no other reason than he’s always been cozy with Richards and Davidson.”

“I heard from a maid who left last year that Gregory got promoted to keep him quiet.” A girl who often hung with Lars said loudly.

“About what?” asked red-glasses.

“About the harassment rumors of course.” Someone said.

Brett now couldn’t be silent “I’ve never heard these rumors.”

“Of course not, you’re new.” Said a housemaid.

“There was a girl here last year. Some guests apparently harassed her.” Another maid threw in.

“You know, the ones who like to “explore” the downstairs.” A larger butler now joined the conversation.

“Well, I heard she sued. She left soon after she started to kick up a fuss, but there were a lot of meetings with those who were acquainted with her. Including Gregory.” Was Lars’ input.

“Wasn’t Lucy also like her BFF?” asked one of Lars’ cronies.

“If she was, I wouldn’t be surprised why she got promoted to lady’s maid.” Said a housemaid with a sniff.

“Did anyone ever talk to that girl after?” asked Wen.

“No, but I mean that’s just normal.” Lars shrugged. “My dad’s a lawyer and he deals with NDAs all the time. I bet she took all the money she could get agreed to not bring up any of this dirty laundry.”

“Hey guys,” a cook yelled, out of breath, having just come from upstairs. “The police are here. And they are angry. They want us upstairs. Now.”

“Ok, we’ll get into our clothes.“

“No, they mean right now.”

With that, the messenger shot up the stairs. The rest of the servants, now dressed in non-work clothes, following close behind.

In the ballroom the contrast between the guests and the workers made this somber moment almost amusing, arrayed in their historically accurate nightwear, they seemed out of place in front of the several emergency personnel and the off-duty servants. Bowers Manor didn’t provide nightclothes to their lower staff.

A detective was questioning Davidson.

“So this costume party--” The detective was saying, as he wrote on a pad of paper.

“Soiree, there were no costumes.”

The policeman looked at the guests, “Riiight.” He cleared his throat. “So this “soiree” was in full swing and you saw the suspect---”

“Gregory”

“Drop a bottle of Champaign and then proceed to get into an altercation with the deceased?

“That’s right.”

“He didn’t drop the bottle!”

The policeman turned. “Excuse me?”

Tanya stepped forward.

“He didn’t drop it. The dead man on the floor shoved him and that’s when the bottle slipped and fell to the floor. They began to argue after that.”

“Do you know why the victim would have been confrontational?”

Tanya shrugged, “I couldn’t hear everything they were saying but the two had a tense relationship all night. But I know the one who you are accusing of murder and he wouldn’t do it.”

The man looked at her with some sadness in his eyes.

“If I could tell you every time someone has said that you’d be here all week.” He turned to address everyone. “Now what concerns me the most is that everyone LEFT the ballroom.”

“We didn’t want to disturb the scene,” Richards explained.

“Well now, we can’t know for sure who touched the cup or bottle. It’s gone.”

John pointed an accusing finger at Brett and the staff. “They wanted to protect their friend.”

The detective held up a hand, “Well now since everyone has cleaned and changed, the rooms search...”

“Is that really necessary?” Yelled Didi “I mean I don’t want some stranger going through and touching all my things.”

Audrey hushed her daughter, “Didi! Someone has died, could you--

“My daughter is right, Paul swooped in, preparing to earn more points, “what is the point of looking through the guest’s rooms? You already have the murderer.”

The detective nodded. “True, we have a likely suspect. But is standard procedure. To avoid any doubt with a jury.”

The guests nodded. Brett was in shock. Jury? That means they really think Gregory did it! They want to put him away for murder!

“How did he die?”

Brett hadn’t realized he was going to ask the question aloud.

The policeman looked over at him. “Poisoned.”

Brett swallowed, but continued, “ Well if it was poisoning it could have been anyone. He was walking around all night; it would have been easy to slip something into his glass.

John shouted, “sounds like someone knows more than he’s telling!”

Brett looked over at him. John looked triumphant. Veronica stood next to him, a shocked and concerned look on her face.

With Gregory gone Brett had realized how alone he was. Everyone around him was whispering. He only saw a few faces that stood out. There was Tanya, talking to Max. Both of them looked at Brett Sympathetically. Lucy looked like she was in shock. And that pale girl, from the first day, stood near the windows. Watching him. Strange, I didn’t see her during training. I just assumed she left. I didn’t even see her at all during the rest of the party.

The detective addressed the crowd. You may all go now.

I thought you wanted to search our rooms?

Oh, that girl didn’t let me finish. I meant to say the room search might be ineffective, as there’s been time to hide a poison. We’ve already been searching your rooms and I’ve been informed that they’ve found nothing. Goodnight.

Gregory wandered alone downstairs. The crowd of other servants passed him. He looked around for the pale girl, she seemed like a loner too. But she was gone as well. He needed a friend. But he also needed to sleep. And in the morning he would figure out how to get his friend out of trouble.

In his room he was surprised to find the detective, waiting for him.