Moderation Online

Chapter 3

CHAPTER 3

Kendall knew he had to talk his way out of this, or the broccoli was going to kill him.

“Listen, man, about what I said a few minutes ago—”

The broccoli grabbed him, pulled him up, and sneered at him. “Do you have any idea what you did?”

“I didn’t do nothin’. You’re the one blowing stuff up!”

The broccoli tried to throw him against a brick wall, but Kendall was too heavy. He lost his grip and Kendall tumbled to the ground, where the broccoli jumped on him and they wrestled furiously.

“You humans eat too much,” the broccoli said.

“Stop! Let me go, and I’ll pretend I never saw you—”

The broccoli raised his dagger, and Kendall closed his eyes and guarded his face. He winced and waited for the blade to pierce him.

A metal click at the other end of the alley startled them both, and the broccoli whipped around.

Greason stood with his rifle pointed at them.

“Thank god,” Kendall said, panting. “Get this broccoli off me!”

“Drop your weapons and lift your hood,” Greason ordered. Two more guards joined him and aimed.

The broccoli looked around the alley desperately and cursed. He grabbed Kendall, pulled him up and held a dagger to his throat.

“Kill me and you’ll kill one of your precious humans as well.”

Kendall struggled, but when he felt the sharp point of the dagger against his skin, he stopped moving. He began to sweat profusely.

“Do something!” Kendall cried.

Greason concentrated, not taking his sight off them.

The broccoli pushed the dagger even closer to Kendall’s neck. Greason gave the order and the guards stepped aside.

“You’re going to regret this, vegetable,” Greason said.

The broccoli laughed. He dragged Kendall out of the alley and into the street, where the chaos was ongoing.

A car exploded, and glass from a nearby building poured down in response.

Nearby, the onion from earlier revved a hovercycle made of blue licorice. He wore camo pants and brown military boots. Several layers of skin around his bulb were peeled up into a Mohawk that pushed against the robe. He sped toward the broccoli and screeched to a stop, grinning from underneath his hood.

“What the heck happened?” the onion asked. “Did you lose your powers, too?”

“No time to talk,” the broccoli said.

The onion saw the guards in the alley and his eyes widened. “Get on!”

Greason ran toward the group as he spoke into his wrist.

“We’ve got one of the rogues and he’s taken Kendall Barnes hostage. He’s attempting to escape by hovercycle.”

“Greason, get me away from these crazy vegetables!” Kendall shouted. The broccoli backed onto the hovercycle and sat back-to-back with the onion. He pulled Kendall on with him and kept the dagger at his neck.

“Thanks, Frank,” the broccoli said.

Frank stepped on the accelerator, but the engine stuttered and the bike only inched forward. He glared back at Kendall.

“That human’s too fat, Brocc,” Frank said.

“What’s with you vegetables and fat jokes?” Kendall asked.

“Stomp on it,” Brocc said.

Frank stepped on the accelerator as hard as he could and they took off down the street, leaving a brilliant trail of blue light behind them. The guards yelled into their wrist communicators.

“Hang on,” Brocc said to Kendall. The skyscrapers and bright lights melted into a neon blur as they zipped down the streets of New Eaton.

Kendall gripped the sides of the bike so hard his knuckles hurt. He uttered a silent prayer, shaking and trembling.

They were going to kill him.

They were going to kill him.

They were going to kill him or he was going to fall off this bike and bust his head open.

He felt the knife against his neck and gulped.

“That was close,” Frank called back. “Looks like you picked up some collateral.”

“Temporary headache,” Brocc said.

“You’re the headaches,” Kendall said.

Frank sped through an intersection as several police cars careened around the corner, accompanied by two Fry Guards on hovercycles.

“It’s about time,” the onion said. “It’s not a chase without the bad guys on your roots.”

Kendall struggled against Brocc. “You guys are ridiculous. Don’t you watch TV? You can’t escape a chase like this. Criminals never win.”

“We’re not criminals,” Brocc said.

“Yeah, right.”

“I don’t have to justify myself to a human,” Brocc said. “Frank, let’s lose them.”

Frank turned down an alley, but the Fry Guards on hovercycles followed and fired a warning shot.

Kendall jumped at the gunfire and shouted, waving his hands.

“Hey, guys, I don’t mind you shooting, but don’t hit me!”

“That’s how little they care about you,” Brocc said. He reached into Frank’s robe and pulled out a rope. He tied Kendall’s hands with it, then tied the rope to the seat of the bike.

The rope was tight around Kendall’s wrists. Too tight.

“Nice to have my hands again,” Brocc said.

“Why did we lose our powers?” Frank asked. “I didn’t get all the way to level fifty to lose powers this fast.”

Brocc pumped his fists and tensed them, but nothing happened.

“I don’t know,” he said. “We could have decimated half the Middle Rind by now.”

Frank zoomed onto an entrance ramp and merged onto a ten-lane superhighway that wound through downtown. Cars passed by in a dazzling blur. Neon streetlights were ranged along the side of the highway, changing color every few seconds. LED screens on the surrounding buildings flashed and displayed live overhead footage of the chase.

“Why are you going onto the Arterion?” Kendall asked. “You’re going to get us killed!”

A Fry Guard flew alongside the hovercycle. He c****d a pistol.

Brocc threw his dagger at him. It stuck in the guard’s shoulder, and he lost control and crashed into a sidewall.

Frank turned around and charged against traffic toward the remaining guard.

Kendall screamed at the top of his lungs as Frank swerved between oncoming cars. As they passed, he felt the wind of the cars brushing by him, saw glimpses of horrified Gourmans inside the cars looking at the hovercycle.

Brocc grabbed his dagger from the dead guard as they passed.

The other guard fired and sped toward them.

Frank veered to the left.

Brocc jumped off the hovercycle and punched the guard.

The guard punched back, but Brocc dodged, kneed him in the chest, and tossed him off.

A nearby passenger car struck the guard, then rolled over and spilled out a family of hysterical fried chicken wings.

Brocc commandeered the hovercycle and flew alongside Frank as they changed direction and moved down the highway with the flow of traffic. He jumped back onto the hovercycle with Frank, leaving the guard’s hovercycle to explode as it spun out of control and hit the asphalt.

“Nice fighting,” Frank said.

“You can untie me now!” Kendall yelled.

Brocc pointed ahead and cursed. “Look out, Frank!”

A military jet emerged from between two skyscrapers and fired a missile at them.

Frank swerved out of the way just in time, but the explosion sent the bike into a fishtail, the bottom of the bike throwing up sparks.

Kendall hollered as they inched closer to the ground. He knew that if Frank didn’t do something, he’d be roadkill.

“Hold on!” Frank screamed. They slid underneath a SUV, barely missing it, and Frank righted the bike, regaining control.

Kendall sighed, relieved to be alive.

“Take the next exit,” Brocc said.

Frank squeezed between two flying semis. He sped down a spiral exit ramp onto a narrow street that ran underneath the highway and toward a boardwalk.

“Maybe this wasn’t a good idea,” Frank said.

They drove further onto a pier, where the brown waves of Cola Bay beat against the pylons of the boardwalk.

Brocc cursed.

“This city is too big, Brocc,” Frank said.

He turned the bike around, but more Fry Guards on hovercycles raced toward them. He had no choice but to head for the beach.

Kendall smirked. “Just surrender now, and I’ll put in a good word for you.”

Frank made a sudden sharp turn, skidded, and lost control of the bike. Quickly, Brocc cut the rope, and Kendall flew free and crashed into a mound of sand. Brocc and Frank flew off the bike too, rolled across the sand, and the bike continued for several hundred feet before crashing into a telephone pole.

“Ow!” Kendall cried, wiping sand from his mouth.

Waves crashed against the rocks, spraying fizzy foam everywhere. A carnival in the distance lit up the shore, and a Ferris wheel sparkled against the night sky. Candy beach houses flanked both sides of the boardwalk.

“We’re as screwed as a zucchini in brine,” Frank said.

Brocc grabbed Kendall, and Frank drew his guns.

“How are we going to get out of this one?” Frank asked.

“How about you apologize?” Kendall asked.

Brocc was about to respond when the ground rumbled, almost knocking them off their feet.

A yellow and white cheeseburger-box tank with a long cannon rolled onto the boardwalk, accompanied by hovercycles.

The Fry Guards jumped off their hovercycles and aimed their guns at Brocc and Frank.

“Drop your weapons,” a guard said.

“Damn it,” Brocc said. He dropped his daggers and let Kendall go.

Kendall elbowed Brocc in the gut and Brocc keeled over, winded.

“Thanks for ruining my night, stupid vegetables,” Kendall said. “You plants deserve every bullet you’re about to get.”

He did silly dance and snapped his fingers several times.

“Peace out. Ha ha haaaa!”

He took off running toward the guards, but stopped suddenly when a shrieking sound came from above. He looked up to see a jet on fire and plummeting toward him.

“Aww hell naw—”

The shrieking grew louder. Kendall’s ears popped. He felt the shrieking in his bones.

“Gaaahdayum—”

He yelled as it crashed into the tank, blowing it up. He shielded himself with his arm, and when he looked at the tank again, he saw bits of flaming cardboard, lettuce, meat, and cheese everywhere.

All of the Fry Guards were dead.

The celery he had seen earlier dropped from the sky and landed in front of him. Her skin was greenish-yellow and she wore all black: black tank top, black leather pants, and black combat boots. Her whip was curled up and hung from her waist, and her brass knuckles—studded with diamonds—glinted and made her hands softly glow. She stared at Kendall angrily and stepped toward him, causing him to back away until he bumped into Brocc.

“That’s going to go down in vegetable history,” Frank said. “I would pay to watch that explosion again in slow motion. Nice job, Celerity!”

“Maybe you can explain why I lost my powers,” Celerity said, looking at Brocc.

“Later,” Brocc said.

Brocc tapped Kendall on the shoulder and grinned. “What was that you were saying about vegetables?”

Kendall stuttered, but only nonsense came out.

Celerity folded her arms. “Let’s ditch the human. We can escape now.”

“No,” Brocc said. “He could be useful.”

“Fine,” she said.

Kendall opened his mouth to object but Celerity struck him on the back of the head.