Another Love Story

Chapter IV: Seventeen

I live in a small town in the middle of nowhere. But that doesn’t mean we are ill equipped when it comes down to it. We do have a high school, a pool, a theatre and a town park with a fishing pond. We might not be the biggest town, but we do have a lot of heart. Our community comes alive whenever we get the chance. Any reason to organize a festival, dance, party, carnival or whatever you can think of, is a good reason. And it is quite magical, the whole town always comes together and everyone pitches in. Even the ADHD children and hormonal youngsters love it. And next to the winter festival, the summer festival is the biggest event of the year. Last year we built a huge outdoor pool in the middle of the town square that ended up staying there until the end of September. It turned out to be the most popular hang-out spot of the summer. Young, old, small, tall, little and huge. It didn’t matter, they all came together in the same place. It was awesome, it also helped that it was the hottest summer ever recorded in our charming town. That and the pool at the high school was shut down for the summer due to a mix-up with the chemicals. Apparently, the bottles of chlorine and the bottles of blue dye, that are stored in the same closet, look very similar. And we all love the Smurfs, but nobody wants to be as blue as they are. Unless it’s for a theme party. 

This year the town had voted to organise a carnival. Fun and games it is; a merry-go-round, a ring-toss, a Ferris wheel, a ball toss, things like that. We even built a huge maze out of straw in the middle of town. Although I doubt if they’ll leave that in the town square until September. Though I dare say that with all the dark and hidden corners, teenagers might revolt if it is taken apart too early. Who knows what kind of mischief could take place with all of those out of control hormonal teenagers getting lost in it. Perhaps some will even lose their way on purpose. Enticing, isn’t it?

DOORBELL

Victor’s at my front door, he’s picking me up so we can walk there together. Romantic, isn’t it. He’s proven to be a real gentleman as well. Which is a good thing, as you’ve probably figured out. I do have a big mouth and a strong opinion on everything, but I’m also a princess. A princess with no real experience in the intimacy department what so ever. To put it bluntly; I’m still a virgin. Yes, to be almost seventeen and a virgin. It has been fun. Keep in mind that Mary and Tim have been together since kindergarten, so as soon as their hormones kicked in, well, you get my point. Then there is Joy, I love that girl to death, but she was only fifteen when she got her cherry popped and she has been dishing it out ever since. And Josh? Let’s just say that after he discovered that he was gay, it cleared up a lot of things and he was quite eager to experiment with Lucas. I was happy for them all, but it also meant that I was the last and only virgin amongst them. Sometimes they would talk about their s****l adventures and I would find myself amazed, terrified and a little intrigued. But the princess inside of me wasn’t just going to give it up to anyone, no, she was holding out for a prince. Even though Victor has all the makings of being one, it doesn’t mean I can’t take my sweet time. I want to be sure, it is a once in a lifetime moment. If it doesn’t go your way, you can never get that back. And if it’s with the wrong person, you’ll never be able to forget it. I always imagined that my first time would be with not just someone I loved, but someone who drove me mad, insane even. Someone I was so passionate about it was simply impossible for me to hold back. For with every kiss he would draw me closer and with every touch I would quiver. Until I had no choice but to surrender to my desire of letting our love consume me. I mean, doesn’t that sound like what love should be like? Or am I confusing it with passion or more accurately, lust? Am I too ambitious or rather naïve for wanting those things to go together? 

As Victor gives me a gentle kiss on the lips, I lose my train of thought and let a smile appear on my face. He takes my hand and puts our entwined fingers against his chest and ask if I’m ready to go. Was I ever. Tonight was not just the opening night of the carnival, when that clock would strike twelve, I would finally be seventeen. Seventeen, just one more year and then I would be considered an adult. It all seemed very exciting. The walk from my house to the town square was only a ten-minute one. Halfway through Victor stops. He pulls me to the side of the road and reveals a little velvet blue box. As I freeze and a million and one thoughts go through my mind, mostly on what could be in there, Victor smiles and his emerald green eyes sparkle. He said he couldn’t wait until midnight to give me my present. That, and he wanted to give it to me when he had me all to himself. I opened the box and a little flutter floated around in my stomach. It was a ring. Not sure about what this meant, I panicked. He wasn’t proposing to me, was he? We were barely seventeen, that would be insane. And as Victor started to see the panic in my crystal blue eyes he quickly explained that from the moment our eyes met, he knew we would have something special. With that ring, all he was asking of me was to go steady. 

To go steady? Seriously, people still do that?

Victor explained that he was old-fashioned on that front, he wanted everyone to know whose girl I was. Sigh! Okay, that is cute as hell. Weird, but still endearing. As Victor put the ring on and stared at me with his emerald green eyes I grinned and let out a big smile. He said that he would take that as a yes. I nodded. Apparently, I was quite overwhelmed by his gesture because I didn’t say anything the rest of the way. Upon arrival at the carnival, the gang was waiting for us. Joy and Mary started to shout when they saw us coming. And as they asked if I loved the ring, I suddenly realised why it fit perfectly on my finger and why it was exactly what I would have picked. Joy and Mary had helped pick it out. And as they went on about how cute it was that Victor wanted to make things official between us, I realised that for the first time in a long time, I was happy. Blissfully so. As I was the birthday girl, I had set up some rules for the night. Nothing too hard. They were actually very simple. What I say, goes. And that is that. Ha. Simply put, I got to decide what we did and when we did it. I made me feel like a princess, like I had an entire court of people following me around and taking orders from me. Josh had even gotten me a tiara. I love him. And as the tiara was placed so diligently on my head I waved to my subjects. The giggles weren’t far behind because I did realise how idiotic I must have looked. But at that point in time, I didn’t really care. Off to the maze we go! That was my first royal decision of the evening. It took us about five minutes to get completely and utterly lost in the maze and another five to lose each other. Although I did suspect that Victor had me take a wrong turn on purpose, just so that he could get me alone. And as he threw me onto a pile of straw and laid down next to me, we glared into each other’s eyes. 

THING

I checked my phone. 17 texts and 9 missed calls. It was five to twelve. Somehow Victor and I had been staring into each other’s eyes for two hours. Did we really? Wow. As we made our way out of the maze and Victor picked little pieces of straw out of my hair, I couldn’t help but pull him close and kiss him like it was the last thing I’d ever do. He kissed me back more passionate than he had ever done and as he tugged me closer it grew harder to stop. But as we were already halfway out of the maze, we got interrupted by the gang who was shouting happy birthday. So, I let go of Victor and let my friends give me birthday kisses and hugs. And presents, of course presents. After opening up all of my presents it was my will that we got cotton-candy and went for a ride on the Ferris-wheel. No one objected so off we went. They wouldn’t dare. As we boarded the Ferris-wheel Victor put his jacket around me, so I wouldn’t get cold. Yes, he is for real. He put his arm around me, and I let my head rest on his shoulder. The was a certain tension in the air due to what had happened in the maze. We had been so rudely interrupted that we hadn’t really talked about it. Although I wasn’t sure if we needed to. We were both seventeen and hormonal. I think it was obvious. As I looked up, Victor was already looking back at me. He turned to face me and gently put his right hand on the back of my head and drew me closer. Our lips locked and as the Ferris-wheel turned, we never saw the spectacular view because we had other things on our mind. When the wheel stopped turning and we had to get off, it felt as if something had changed between Victor and I.

Before I could catch my breath and organize my thoughts it was already time to go home. Seventeen or not, I had a curfew and if I broke it there would be hell to pay. My mother was waiting for me at the ring-toss game and ran up to me to wish me a happy birthday. She helped carry the gifts I had gotten from my friends to the car and as we drove off, I looked behind me and saw Victor smiling at me. My heart skipped a beat as I bit my lip. How exciting it is to be seventeen and in love. When we got home, my mother asked about my night and we ended up talking about my friends and Victor for hours. She expressed her concerns about me having a boyfriend but added that she knew that I was growing up to be a responsible adult. But that shouldn’t forget that I could come to her for advice on anything. That she rather I talked to her about having s*x and being careful even though it might make us both uncomfortable. She continued that she did realise I was growing up and I wouldn’t stay her little girl forever. Although she did plead with me to hold on to my innocence for as long as I could. She didn’t tell me what I could or couldn’t do, she just wanted to let me know that she was there for me. And it did make me think. Was I ready to take that step? More important, did I want to take that step with Victor? Of was I sick and tired of being the only one of my friends who was still a virgin? I told my mother about the moment I had had with Victor in the maze. How it overwhelmed me and consumed me. I could see by the look on her face she was worried, as I guess all mothers would be. Even then she didn’t freak out or start yelling at me that I was too young to even think about it. She did panic, but she kept her thoughts to herself and left me with one piece of advice.

‘If you follow your heart, you can never be wrong’. Ladies and gentlemen, my mother is a rock star. 

That was what I thought when I kissed her goodnight and went to bed. What I thought when I woke up, that’s something else. Remember the front-page-newspaper-fail from two weeks before? Well, my mother did! As I had already told you, she had gotten me the biggest blow-up of that horrid picture you have ever seen. As if that wasn’t enough, it was in colour and every one of my friends and family had written something on it. Humiliated? That word does not even begin to describe how I felt. Granted, it was funny as s**t. Just not to me. What was even worse, she put the blow-up in our front yard and left it there for two weeks! After two weeks it magically disappeared. And by magically I mean that Josh, Lucas and Victor destroyed it and then I burned it. 

So the day of my seventeenth birthday had finally arrived and that had to be celebrated in style, so that Saturday afternoon the gang kidnapped me. They blindfolded me, put me in a car and drove off. As my mother didn’t seem as panicked as I was, I had faith in the fact that she knew where they were taking me and that I would be okay. When I felt a warm hand reach for mine and warm lips gently kiss the palm of my hand, I knew I had Victor by my side. So, I put my head on his shoulder and enjoyed the downtime. Because between the opening of the summer festival and the talk I had with my mother until the sun came up, I hadn’t really gotten much sleep. As I felt myself drifting off into dreamland, I felt Victor’s temperate lips place a kiss on my forehead and with a smile I slept for the entire drive.

I woke to find myself looking out onto a lake where the rest of the girls had been gathering firewood and the boys were carrying in the luggage. We were at Lucas’s parents’ cabin at the lake three towns over. Oh my god, this was going to be the best birthday ever. Me and the gang watching the sunset on the lake while sitting around a cosy fire melting marshmallows? Yes, please. A whole weekend filled with hanging out and fooling around on the lake. Again, best birthday ever! Until I started thinking about the sleeping arrangements. Josh and Lucas would share a room and so would Tim and Mary, none of us would even think twice about it. Joy brought her fling of the week, so she wouldn’t be alone surrounded by couples, and she might be fine with sharing a room with him, I wasn’t sure if I was ready to share one with Victor. I should talk to Victor about this, but maybe after last night in the maze he had gotten the wrong idea. What if he wanted more? What if he expected more? And as hysteria started to grow Joy had noticed that I was awake and came to talk to me. Seeing as the panic in my eyes wasn’t one that I could hide from her, she immediately calmed me by saying that her fling and Victor would share a room and that she and I were roomies for the weekend. A sense of calm came over me because I believed a crisis had been averted. Joy did offer her two cents on the matter, even if I didn’t ask her for it, she gladly and enthusiastically said that seventeen is as good of an age as any and that she would be willing to trade rooms in case I changed my mind. I thanked her for her advice and willingness to help out, but said that I wasn’t sure I was ready and didn’t want to get cornered into it. 

Joy smiled from ear to ear. Why wasn’t your voice in my head the night I lost my virginity. The shock on my face must have been obvious because I had always believed that Joy felt that she had been ready for that step. Turns out, she too felt the pressure of her peers and mostly the pressure from her boyfriend at the time. Instead of listening to her heart, she had given into the fear of not wanting to lose her boyfriend, or to seem like a prude. She admitted that she had always regretted not being more like me, more steadfast. Her two cents might not have been worth much, her telling me about how she actually felt when she lost her virginity, that meant the world to me. I hugged her and as we both wiped away a few tears from our face, I had made up my mind about me and Victor. I was falling in love with him, that I was sure of. But even though my body and hormones might tell a different story, I wasn’t ready to take our relationship to the next level. And after getting out of the car I went looking for Victor, I had to tell him how I felt. The sooner I did, the sooner I would be able to enjoy the weekend and get rid of this sword that seemed to be dangling above my head. Victor was waiting for me down at the lake by the fire. As the others were still unpacking, we had some alone time. 

Victor started the conversation by making a joke that I had snored in my sleep during the drive down to the lake. I obviously accused him of being a liar, that there was no chance in hell that I snored. We burst into a giggle but as it died down, we both know the topic at hand. Again, Victor took the lead. He said that he had asked Joy if she really wanted to sleep in the same room as her boy-toy or if she was willing to switch rooms. He said that he asked her, not because he didn’t want to spend the night with me, but that he didn’t want me to feel pressured into anything. Even though he knew that I would never do anything that I didn’t want, simply because it was expected of me. In that moment in time, there wasn’t a doubt in my mind that I was in love with Victor. And there wasn’t a shred of doubt in my mind about the way he felt about me. It wasn’t his words that convinced me, it was his actions. I admitted that there had been a moment of panic when I dwelled on the division of the rooms but that I knew I could talk to him about it. The moment in the maze was just that, a moment. A moment that proved that I was passionate about him, but that it didn’t mean that I was ready to take our relationship to the next level. Even if my entire hormonal body was screaming for it. We had only been dating for two weeks, promise ring or no promise ring, I wasn’t ready. 

Josh, Lucas, Joy, boy-toy (don’t even remember his name), Tim and Mary joined Victor and me. And as the fire grew, the sun started to set. While Victor had his arms wrapped around me, I watched the sun set. All was right in the world. Suffice it to say that there might have been some alcohol involved as we roasted and melted things in the fire. When the fire started to die down, we headed inside for a game of charades. Ever played it while intoxicated? It is even funnier than when you play it sober, what a shock. Mary and Tim won that, not a surprise at all. It’s kind of creepy how they seem to be able to read each other’s minds. Is that what love is? Or is that just what their love is like? I’m pretty sure I don’t want an answer to that question. After ordering pizza and letting food soak up some of the alcohol, we watched a movie. The notebook. That made half of the couples disappear and by the end of the movie it was just Victor, Joy, what’s his name and me. In retrospect it might not have been such a good idea to watch ‘The notebook’. That movie tends to bring out feelings. What kind you ask? Well, Joy was all over her boy-toy and as Victor and I were saying goodnight, she disappeared with what’s his name into our room. 

My hands started to sweet, my stomach turned, my breathing excelled. Victor took my hand and said that I could take his room, he would sleep on the couch in the living room. I felt terrible. Joy was being a b***h and Victor was the perfect gentleman. After confirming that he didn’t mind. He did let it slip that he’d prefer to share a bed with me, but that I wasn’t ready and he respected that. Which in turn entailed him sleeping on the couch. He also promised to give Joy hell in the morning. Which he did. She apologies profusely. And as I told her it wasn’t me she should be apologising to but Victor, I saw a change in her face. What did you do Joy? I could tell she had done something. Then my face started to change as well. Joy recognised the disappointment and as she reached for my hand I pulled back. I told her that after what she had told me about her first time, I couldn’t even begin to grasp why on god’s green earth she would try to have me make the same mistake. I could see I had struck a nerve as she looked down, she was filled with shame. Before I knew it, she confessed that she did try to push me. But that it had been for all the right reasons. That she thought I was holding back because I was afraid, not because I didn’t want to. As I made clear that that was not her decision to make, that she had no right, I could feel the tears streaming down my cheeks. I wanted to storm out, before I could Joy grabbed me, pulled me close and apologised. She swore she would never intervene again. The thing about Joy is that she wants to be a wild child but she cares too much about what other people think of her. She has been my best friend since kindergarten, but there is a lot that I don’t tell her, because I know her. I know that she would use certain information against me, just as she had done the night before. I’ve also learned that it’s best to just pretend to forgive Joy and move on. So, I did. After fooling around in the lake that morning we ate lunch and started to pack. Most of our gang had to start their summer job that week, including me. Lucas dropped me and Victor off at my house. So, we could say goodnight without anyone prying eyes. 

Before I could even get a word out, Victor grabbed me and kissed me. As it was unexpected, I was taken aback and bit his lip. As he let go of me, he apologised. He explained that he had sensed a change between us and that he wasn’t sure if it was for the better or worse. I knew what he meant; I had started to push him away after the stunt that Joy had pulled. It wasn’t fair to Victor, because he didn’t do anything wrong. On the contrary, he had been so sweet about the whole thing. Was that a warning sign? I mean, Josh also didn’t push me into having s*x. But that doesn’t mean Victor is gay. Does it? Oh crap. I think too much. So, this time I took the lead and pulled Victor close, put one hand on the back of his head and let our lips lock. Just as Victor was letting his hand slide down my back onto my behind, my mother opened our front door and said it was time for dinner. That kind of ruins the mood, one more kiss and off Victor went. 

That Monday morning, I started my summer job at the town park. I got to play with children all day long and get paid for it too. Best summer job ever. For the next four weeks I was in charge of taking care of over a hundred screaming children. I wasn’t alone of course. Me and about ten other teenagers played games and entertained those children until their parents came to pick them up. Having a summer job did mean that I got to spend less time with my friends and with Victor. A lot less time. After work I usually met up with the group for a drink and a laugh and then went home for dinner. The summer nights filled with stars? I saved those for Victor. I couldn’t believe how fast the summer was flying by. I had finished my summer job and there were only two more weeks of summer left until we had to go back to school. But the gang and I had all finished our summer jobs at the same time, and as Victor was new in town he didn’t get a summer job. This meant that the last two weeks of summer, we were all free to hang out together. Usually that meant meeting up at Josh’s mansion in the woods, because he had a pool and his parents were never around to check up on us. Before we even realised it, those last two weeks were gone. The last night of summer had arrived and with it the last night of the summer festival.