Never Love Me Please

Chapter 2

"Settle down please! We'll be leaving in a while! If your friends are still not here please do call them to avoid further conflicts!"

I arrived at school just on time for the markings of late. I don't even know why I'm here. All I know is that my body led me here after waking up at 4 am earlier.

"Syl!" I heard someone calling my name but I didn't answer and instead just went in the bus and chose the back part of the seats. I purposely chose this side because I know all of them will settle at the front part.

Hindi naman mapupuno ang buong bus dahil officers lang ang nasa bus na 'to kaya maiiwan akong mag isa rito sa likuran.

At least, that's what I thought when suddenly they announced that some students from the other bus will be joining us due to lack of space.

I couldn't care less. I wore my hood and put on my headphones as I rest my eyes closed. I don't want to hear noises along the way. I already bothered myself by attending this seminar, I wouldn't want to push myself to my limits.

I suddenly remembered why I bothered coming here. I realized that if I get kicked out of college for failing my course, my relatives would start to take over my life. Living alone already gave them enough reason to dictate what I should and not do with the things my parents left for me, what more if they see me dropping out of school.

Death by personal cause is the only thing I'd want to happen to me and not death by the hands of the people that did nothing but mock and blame me for everything that's happened.

Habang naka-pikit ako ay naramdaman kong may umupo sa tabi ko. Hindi ko na tinignan kung sino 'yon at nanatili lang ako sa ganong pwesto ko hanggang sa makatulog na ako.

Nagising na lang ako nang maramdaman kong may umaalog sa'kin.

"Syl. Nandito na tayo." Nina smiled at me but I just looked around to see anyone. She was right. Everyone already left.

Tumayo na ako at akmang kukunin na ang mga gamit ko nang mapansin kong wala na 'yon don.

"Someone already took your things and brought it to your room. You don't have to worry about it." her annoying smile is still plastered on her lips as she speak to me.

I can't help but roll my eyes at the back of my head. I can't stand her pretentiousness. But what choice do I have?

"Okay. Thanks." the least I can do now is to ignore her fake act of kindness and walk away. That way I wouldn't have to deal with her.

The place was the usual camping site. This seminar was supposedly for the new recruits of Junior Marketing Association. I thought about the youth who were determined to achieve greater lengths in their newly found environment.

Its main purpose was to create a bond and an harmonious relationship not just with the people but with the things the want to accomplish as they take and build a name for themselves inside and outside of our organization. By the end of this seminar, they should be able to ponder upon things that could help for the betterment of their mindset and perception.

I want to laugh at myself. What about me? Will be able to reach that point where I'll be able to ponder upon things too? I suddenly sounded like a hypocrite.

My room was a solo unit not too big for a single person. Just enough for me to move around and for the things I have with me. I'll be here for three days and it just felt right knowing I'd be alone in all those days.

The small cabin was like a big tent. It was designed to look like a camping site, hence the structure of it. Alongside mine are the other cabins. Sa kahabaan ng linya ko ay mga nasa sampu ata ang naka tayong cabin.

I sat down at the edge of my bed as I stare out of the window. There really is nothing special about the view. It's just pitch black with the trees hanging around the whole area but that's enough. Enough for me to enjoy this solitude by myself.

Maya maya pa ay may kumatok sa pintuan ko. Imbes na tumayo ay hinintay ko muna na mag salita ang kung sino man ang kumakatok na 'yon.

"Syl? Gather na daw sa front porch ng main cabin." Judging by the voice, that was Aly.

"Okay." I answered, just enough for her to hear what I said.

Napa buga ako ng hangin. Should I go? Hindi naman nila mapapansin na wala ako 'ron. Unless they'd make an introduction for the current officers. Though I doubt they will.

When I checked the time it's already 9 o'clock. Since this was the first day, it will usually be a time where they will let the campers roam around to familiarize themselves with the place and the people they're with.

I should be outside but I chose to stay here. I put away my things in the table and lied down into the bed. This was the first time that I'll be sleeping away from my house since they... passed.

While I flat on my back, I stared at the ceiling. The lights were dim and the air conditioner is on blast but for some reason I don't feel cold at all. I was just here, lying like a corpse, feeling like the whole world has stopped spinning for a moment.

In that position I remembered their faces before they left. Reminiscing those memories took all my energy away, making me feel drowsy. Accompanied by my tears, I start to feel my eyes getting heavy.

I can't believe it's already been a year. Ang bilis ng naging pangyayari pero sobrang hirap kalimutan. It all feels like it just happened yesterday.

"Belle!"

"Belle!"

"Daddy?"

When I opened my eyes I was greeted by the scenery I've been longing to see. Where the trees were alive and thriving. The skies were blue and there were flowers around the pathway that leads me to my father... that's smiling widely at me.

He was telling me to come closer so I did. I ran. Like how I would every time he'd arrive home carrying all the presents he bought for me. I ran... even beyond the normal speed I'd spend running. I ran, in fear that he might disappear any moment now.

I ran like a kid longing for her dad after he was gone all day for work.

I ran as fast as I could.

The only thing that has been playing in my mind right now was how I'll be able to catch the hands of my father that's reaching out for me.

I'm so close.

"Daddy... I'll be there... wait for me..." I was running and running but I still couldn't get to where he was.

I wanted to scream in frustration but looking at him smile at me took that anger away. I just want to go to him. I just want to hold his hand.

"Belle!" he cried out my name... still smiling so brightly at me.

"D-dad..."

I could feel my tears starting to pool on the sides of my eyes. It felt so tiring to cry now. All these days, every night, I did nothing but cry. Cry for the people that I know won't ever come back even if I spend forever offering gallons of my tears to the heavens.

"Syl!"

"Hey! Wake up!"

"What the f**k! Why are you— Sylvia! Tangina. Wake up!"

I was awakened again by a light slap on my face. My eyesight were still blurry from the tears. Why is it cold? I tried to look closely to the person that's been waking me up, cradling me in his arms.

"Why the f**k are you sleeping walking towards the f*****g river! You could've drowned!" I felt him carried me and laid me on the ground but still holding my head to his chest.

"W-who are y-you..." I tried to move my hand but I couldn't lift even a finger.

"Are you okay? Are you hurting somewhere?" I felt him check the sides of my body, probably looking for an injury, but I couldn't careless.

I don't even know what I'm doing here and why I'm here. I didn't even know that there's a river here.

"Answer me. Damn it! You could've... fucking... died." his grip on my arm tightened as if he was trying to contain me from something but in a manner where it's painless. It was like light cuff, tying me to a safe side.

"Who are... you," my voice were clear this time.

When I finally got a clearer view of him, I realized I know him. He was the same guy that says he pitied me. Nang matanto ko 'yon ang unang pumasok agad sa isipan ko ay kung paano ako makaka-alis sa sitwasyong 'to.

Maybe that's the reason why even with my head still spinning, I gathered all my energy to pull myself back up to walk away. Why is he even here? Don't tell me he's actually part of this event.

"Sylvia!" he called, followed by his harsh stride towards me. And why does he even know my name?

I couldn't see him but I can feel his heavy feet coming at me like an unforgiving tidal wave. He must've been pissed with our encounter again. Come to think of it, he's always been like that. It's just that, it was only that night that I got a better sight of his face.

I felt a strong pull from behind me just when I was about to reach the back of my cabin. It was dark right now, and the only thing that's lighting our way was the moonlight and the tiny little bulb that was hanged around every cabin.

"You really are so stubborn aren't you?" It was dark but I could see how his intense gaze is giving me a command. He already looked intimidated from feet apart, what more when we're this close?

But those doesn't sway me. I tried to pull my wrist away from his grip but only got tighter.

"Let go. I'm going to my cabin." I looked away, still wriggling my way out of his hand but no avail. He was so strong. I could even feel his hand shaking, I don't know if it's out of worry or just pure rage.

"You should get checked. You might be suffering from somethin—

"The only thing I'm suffering from right now is your grip. Now let me go so I can wash up and rest." I looked at him straight into his eyes but his reaction stayed unmoved.

"I won't until you go to the infirmary—

"Why do you even care! Stop trying to force it to upon yourself that you actually care, and besides... It's not like you even know me. Why can't you just let me go now so we can be both be free of this burden?" I said as a matter of fact.

It's true that we don't even know each other. Aside from being strangers, he's just someone living next to our house.

"Fine! Damn it. Suit yourself." was the only thing he said before walking away.

I let out a sigh as I look at the river. The last thing I would want right now is someone meddling with my life... as if they actually have a say to anything. As if they actually cared.