After She Left

SIX

"Does it make me weak or rather human that I run away from the things I love the moment they begin to hurt me?"

-Christopher Poindexter

Around the time I turned 13, I had stopped eating any junk food. Of course, M&M's and ice cream always remained. It wasn't because my parents made me or because I wanted to look as skinny as possible to please the standards society presses on us. It was because I simply didn't want to eat it anymore and felt bad for putting my body through such torture as processing junk or fast food, it felt as if I was being unfair to myself.

Yet now I sat here, in McDonald's, munching on fries and nuggets, whilst cringing at the pure sugar taste that any fizzy drinks gave off. I looked around the place, probably looking like a complete freak with my snapback and hoodie on eating alone at McDonald's in the middle of Monday night.

What are you doing, I thought, doing random things just because you can to spite the world, yet making it worse for yourself. Aren't you clever, Ruby?

Whatever.

I left the half-eaten food behind, deciding to raise my middle finger to the world even higher and do something more radical than eating junk food as a protest.

An hour and a half had now passed since I'd escaped from my the very people who were supposed to know my every movement and location 24/7 and so far it seemed like I had done well enough of a job to still be walking around freely.

Whilst walking the streets just like a normal person I couldn't help but smile - it felt ordinary and that was the beauty of it. The very few people that passed me on the streets had no clue who I was nor did they care about it and it felt rather blissful.

I decided to head to one of my favorite spots, whistling on my way there. It was peacefully quiet outside apart from a few students who were drunkenly running around and singing to random songs.

"Lilz, who is thaat?" one of the girls asked the girl with whom her hands were linked. The redhead was pointing at me.

The other girl who I assumed to be "Lilz" started running across the street, pulling the redhead after her: "hey, stranger! Don't walk away from us!"

I laughed turning around to face the drunken girls who had left their group of friends to bother a random stranger: "hey."

The girls were wearing skin-tight dresses - Lilz who had short blond hair and bright blue eyes was wearing a burgundy one which complimented her very pale skin, whilst the one with long red curls and a darker skin tone was wearing a white one. I had to admit, these girls were incredibly good looking.

"Wow, you're pretty," the redhead reached out and taking the hood off of my head as my curls immediately escaped.

I smiled, taking a step back as I tucked a curl behind my ear: "thanks, I guess."

"Nat, you have to stop doing that, okay?" Lilz pushed her back then looked at me, "sorry, she likes to touch faces while drunk, it's her thing."

I raised a brow, realizing that not both of them were as drunk as I thought: "that's alright."

Giving me a half-smile, she looked me up and down, then holding a hand out for me: "I'm Lilly, by the way. I'm not one to judge fashion, but, girl, it looks like you've just escaped the prison and are trying way too hard to stay undercover."

I put a hand on my heart, pretending to be shocked: "how did you know? I'll have to kill you now."

For a second or two, her mouth stayed open, staring at me as if I was being serious. But then her face broke into a grin: "smart ass, I see."

I looked at her friend who was fast asleep still standing and laying on Lillie's shoulder: "perhaps you need some help?"

She shook her head while laughing, looking to the right where her friends were dancing around an electricity pole: "yeah, my car is in that parking lot and once she's there it should be a piece of cake."

I stood next to her, putting the redhead's arm on my shoulder, the other resting on Lillie's: "are you supposed to be the dd for the night?"

"Yeah," she shrugged, "it normally tends to be that way since my friends never seem to have the power of staying sober."

"Okay.. sounds quite sad actually," I chuckled.

"Trust me, there's a good part that keeps me going."

She unlocked the car which turned out to be bright pink range rover truck as I held her friend: "and that would be?"

She opened the door, smiling at me: "you'll see. You're coming with us."

I put her friend in the car, then supporting myself against the truck while having an internal battle.

"Let me get this straight," I said as 3 guys and 2 girls were getting in the truck, "you want me to get in the car with you even though I just met you and drive God knows where to do God knows what?"

She opened the drivers­` door, nodding: "yeah."

I smiled, shrugging as I went to the passenger seat which was left empty for me: "sounds good to me."

"By the way," Lilly started the car, "what's your name?"

I laughed, realizing how ridiculously little we knew about each other: "for tonight it's Kleo."

She looked at me knowing well I was lying yet not caring one bit about it: "okay, Kleo, buckle up."

.

.

.

In 20 minutes we stopped in the middle of a forest. 4 of 6 people apart from me and Lilly who were in the car were fast asleep, yet the ones that were up got out, running even further into the darkness the forest held.

"Is this the part you murder me?" I asked, getting out of the car.

"It depends," she laughed, leading the way whilst walking backward, "are you into that?"

"Not on Mondays," I replied, smiling.

I saw the forest ending as we walked further and Lilly started taking off her clothes, dropping her shoes on the way.

She once again started walking backward while undoing her dress: "welcome to the part of the night where you strip."

I raised my brow, knowing it was absolutely insane to even be here, doing this, but, hey, tonight was meant to be different, I was meant to be different, so I just took off my hoodie and the rest until I was in my underwear and we were both running towards the end of the forest.

I soon realized we were on a cliff, yet Lilly didn't stop running, instead, she ran faster, jumping off the cliff. Great, now I'll have to explain to dad how I became an eyewitness of group suicide.

I screamed, going to the edge to see what the hell the girl had done and saw her grinning face popping out of the water that was around 10 meters below the edge. I hadn't noticed the lake until I had stood at the edge.

"You're crazy!" I shouted whilst laughing.

"Are you coming or not?" she shouted back, "I dare you."

My first thought was - hell no, this is pure insanity. I was not nearly as spontaneous or adventurous as the girl swimming down there. Yet then I caught myself thinking why I was the only one holding myself back. I feared things so much that I let them control my whole life. The only thing I allowed to happen was falling for Eden and look where that got me, it was clearly nowhere near good, the pain she made me feel at the end made me fear to love as a whole. And it was ridiculous, the girl had control over me even now and I still allowed her to.

"f**k it," I mumbled, getting up and walking back. Once I was far enough, I turned around inhaling deeply. This is it, Ruby, you stop being a coward now or never. And I chose now, sprinting towards the edge and jumping.

The feeling of flying, being as free as a bird lasted less than a second when the refreshingly cold water hit me, swallowing me whole, making me feel as alive as I could as it activated my whole body and made me become aware of every single touch the water made on me. And then, then came the diving out, breathing in the air as if its the first time you've done it.

I opened my eyes, seeing Lilly not far from me, grinning: "how was it, stranger?"

"Let's do that again," I couldn't stop smiling as we swam back to the land.

"Is this worth it to stay sober?" she asked me as we got out of the water.

"Hell yes," I laughed, "though I guess your friends still do it while drunk."

"No worries," she shook her head, "the ones that are too drunk for it always fall asleep or don't even make it to the edge. It's normally only me and one of the guys that jumped before us."

We were slowly climbing back up to the edge: "not that it's any of my business, but what brings a pretty girl like you to the streets at the middle of the night?" she asked.

"Just life," I shrugged, "needed to get away I suppose."

She nodded, understandingly: "I know the feeling."

I felt like I could tell her everything and she just wouldn't ask or judge me, so I did: "I'm a coward, I can't stop running. No matter where I go, how far or for how long, she's still there. I can't escape her because she has made my head home. I just want to get away yet it seems I never succeed."

"I've spent my whole life running away from people and things," she said, looking up, "but haven't gotten anywhere so far just like you."

We were up by now, taking a few steps further from the edge to have a running start. She looked at my arm, intertwining it with hers, then looking at me: "so, Kleo, let me tell you something I've learned so far. The only way to face the fear is by running to it, and you might just discover that by doing that instead of running away, the fear itself will be the one running away."

"Where did that come from? Dr. Phil?" I laughed.

She pushed me, laughing: "let's face the b***h, shall we?"

I smiled, holding her hand in mine: "3... 2.... 1!"

And we raced to the edge, jumping into nothing yet everything, simply enjoying ourselves and making the most of the night. I had to say, this was one of the best nights of my life and it hadn't even ended.