After She Left

ELEVEN

"Do not get upset with situations or people, both are powerless without your reaction."

"I admit it, I underestimated you, Ruby," Austin said, pushing himself away from the table.

We had been talking about marketing and economics, as well as everything else related to the company for the past 5 hours. He was visibly tired and it looked like I had worn the guy out.

I smirked: "that would be your first mistake in life. Never underestimate a Gold."

He ran a hand through his hair: "I think I got that the second you read the first document. How can one be so young and know so much?"

I shrugged: "I like reading."

He laughed, raising his brow: "okay, it sounds normal. Only, who reads company documents and economy books at such age? Who would've guessed I'd ever feel dumb against a teenager."

"Hey!" I laughed, shoving him slightly, "I'm 19, grandpa."

He laughed at me, rolling his eyes: "sure. Want to order some food?"

I thought about it for a second, soon realizing I had the perfect opportunity to piss Blake off even more than I had. Immediately I broke into a grin.

"Actually, we could just go to my apartment, it would be way cozier," I offered, patting my shoulder in my mind.

He looked at me weirdly, suddenly silent. I burst out laughing: "no, no, don't misunderstand. I have a girlfriend and we're living with tons of bodyguards. Dad's rules."

A half-smile appeared on his face: "right, that sounds way better. Multiple bodyguards breathing down my neck. Been dreaming about it since I was little."

I winked at him: "I'm sure you can handle yourself, big boy. Let's go."

Without wasting any time, we walked out of the office, and I headed to Mira, placing a kiss on her cheek: "see you tomorrow, Mira."

She pinched my nose: "be good, princess."

Austin stepped between us, pouting: "Mira! Where's my goodnight kiss on the cheek?"

She laughed, placing a kiss on his cheek and landing a slap on his butt as he walked away.

"Jeez, Mira, I didn't think you'd actually replace me with some guy," I joked, walking to the elevator, "you should go home and rest. Take tomorrow off too."

She rolled her eyes, waving me off: "you wish, dear. You'll have to stick with me until I decide it's enough, not the other way around."

We both waved at her as the elevator door closed.

"What are we eating?" he asked, "it better be Italian or Chinese, otherwise I'll have to stand up your very tempting full-house-of-bodyguards offer."

I smiled at his poor decision of being scared of my so-called bodyguards. For all I knew, they were far from being the most feared gang in the world. After all, even I could escape them.

"It can be negotiated," I said as we walked out of the building.

"My car is just around the corner," he showed with his arm.

I nodded my head to the rich-ass looking building in front of us: "no need for that. Daddy dearest decided I'm not good enough for a normal lifestyle."

He cracked a smile, most likely feeling uncomfortable since my dad was his boss: "I'm sure he's coming from a good place, Ruby. Your father is a great man."

I nodded in a silent agreement. He was, however, he should have allowed me the freedom of choice instead of putting me on a diamond plate, which has "rich" and "spoiled" written all over it. I just wanted to be normal, to feel normal for once.

Ironic isn't it - that's what I'd been thinking before I met Eden. My life seemed to go back in its old tracks by the time I spent without Eden.

On our way to the elevator, I noticed Jack in the furthest corner of the hotel. He sure was trying to do his best to follow my orders. It made a slight smile appear on my face.

I put my finger in the scanner zone, a "ding" following right after. I noticed Austin shift a little.

"I told you it's a lot, big boy," I laughed as we made our way up the building.

I rested my back against the elevator, closing my eyes just for a second or two. I took a deep breath, enjoying every second of the very slim window to peace which Austin allowed me to do. It was weird what my life had come to from last year. Back then being alone was something my everyday life consisted of, and I wished to just have something more, feel something more. Yet now that I nearly never got the chance to be alone, to just exist with no labels or do nothing - it was also not okay.

Were we supposed to settle for what it was? No. Would we ever be happy with what we have? I guess it was simply in humans nature to seek more.

I heard the elevators door open, yet Austin made no move and I had a good idea of why he wouldn't.

"You do understand you're holding a gun to one of "Gold's" most important men?" I asked, my eyes still closed.

A few guns clicked and I heard a few of these idiots leave. Yet one remained.

I opened my eyes as I pushed myself off the wall and patted Blake's head on my to the kitchen: "he's as harmless as a kitten, Austin, you can come in."

"Are you ever going to give him a break?" Angel asked.

I shrugged, not really feeling like answering that question: "order some Chinese."

I walked to the living room, ruffling Lilly's hair once I stepped close enough to the sofa. She made a sound similar to "chei" which I assumed to be a weak try at saying "hey" while her mouth was stuffed with popcorn.

"I'm really sorry that they're not letting you leave, Lilz," I sat on the corner of the couch.

She grinned back: "are you kidding me? Free food, amazing penthouse and hot guys... This is my personal paradise. By the way, please tell me at least one of them is single."

I gave her a quick hug, laughing at her thirst: "I think you have the green light for all of them. I'd advise going for Blake, clearly needs some stress relief."

"Hmm," she thought about it, "I might already have someone in mind."

"Austin, we already ordered some Chinese, I'll be upstairs for a second if you need anything ask for Lilly!" I shouted, running upstairs to my room.

As soon as I walked into my room, I knew where she would be. Her favorite place. I opened the door to my bathroom, immediately swallowed in by steamy air.

She turned her head from the bathtub, her entire body covered with foam. The whole bathroom smelled as what could only be described as graceful and delicious. No matter how much excitement this made me feel, and God knows how much I needed to let off some steam, this just wasn't the time.

Her hazel eyes studied me silently as I leaned in and pecked her on the lips and said: "Hey, beautiful."

Her mouth parted as if she wanted to say something, yet quickly replaced it with a smirk: "I think you have one too many items of clothing on."

I smiled lightly, sitting with my back resting against the tub. I turned my head to her.

"You know how much you mean to me, Han," I said.

Silence.

Silence.

"You're not replying?" I sighed.

"It sounded more like a monologue than a dialogue," she laughed softly.

"But you know, don't you?" I asked quietly.

If there was one thing I never wanted to let down or lose then it was her. She meant a world to me. After all, without her help, I'd probably be in some jail in Mexico or 10 feet below.

"I do," she replied as quietly as possible. As if such conversations that held silent promises had to be talked out as close to silent as possible.

"Why didn't you take me with you when you ran away?"

I clenched my jaw, unsure of what to say. I just had to get away, be on my own for once, without being able to depend on anyone or have anyone depend on me.

"Sorry, I take that back. It was a stupid question to ask," she laughed.

I turned my head, looking into her eyes: "do you want me to apologize for that?"

Her gaze averted from me to her hand in which laid a handful of foam, then back to my eyes as if she knew more than I would say. I also knew she wanted me to apologize but she'd never say it out loud.

"You know I can't apologize for nothing I've done," I said honestly, "I needed to be on my own..."

She nodded, but I knew it hurt her. Still, she understood, she accepted.

"Ruby, can you be honest with me when I ask you something?"

I nodded. I didn't lie to her. I only merely saved her the pain of knowing certain things that were completely and utterly unimportant.

"Do you want to be with her?" she said so quickly I thought I'd imagined it.

I really thought about it because I didn't want to lie to her and because I wasn't certain of the answer myself. The weird thing was that I was sure - I would have said yes if she asked me before the last talk with Eden, yet now I didn't know anymore. Do I?

Before I could even figure it out, she sighed quite loudly: "Ruby, I know you still love her, that's why it isn't the question I'm asking. She was your first love and I believe that no matter what time passes if you've really loved a person, it can never fully go away."

"And I'm not mad about that, I'm fine with that. All I want is for you to be happy. Even if it isn't with me. I just need you to figure it out, instead of hurting yourself, me and Eden in the process."

I rubbed my temples. When did this get so complicated?

"What are you trying to say, Hanna?"

"You need to be on your own for a while and figure out what's best for you since you never had a chance to do so, Ru."

Millions of thoughts passed through my mind, yet one stuck with me - she was right. I did need to be on my own.