My Eyes On You

where is he?

Don't tell him, you love him “Why not?”she said innocently, and yet defiantly. “He wouldn‟t react well.”When they arrived at Mona‟s house, Aunt Becky saw them inside but then quickly left them alone. “I‟ve got a hot date,” was all she said, and then she was all tires and rubber.

The house was dark, silent, and cool. The girls trudged inside with their bundles and flicked on the lights, then went into the den and called Christie and Hope three-way.

“We‟re almost there,” Mona said.

“Oh, I wish I could come,” said Christie.

“Me, too,” said Hope.

“We‟ll tell you all about it. Remember, this is Leah‟s night. The whole reason—well, the main reason—we‟re going is to see Brendan. The rest is just a bonus.”

“Yeah, yeah.”

“Can you take pictures for us?”

Leah laughed. She put down the extension and wandered into the kitchen.

Her eyes landed on a half-drunk bottle of red wine standing on the counter. She‟d heard somewhere that Mona‟s father was an alcoholic, but she never asked Mona herself if the rumor was true. Personally, she chose not to drink or do drugs. It was a conviction, a value,and a belief that both her natural parents had instilled in her while she was very young.

Mona got off the phone and had stars in her eyes.

“I‟ve got to get dressed! Hope told me Anthony is going to be there!” Leah chuckled.As she waited, the wind kicked up again. For a moment it was so wild that one of the trees looked like a head banger at a Guns „N Roses concert.

When they left, the air was cool and both girls were wearing sweaters.

The walk was going to be a long one about two miles. Leah opted to take her uncomfortable flats off and go barefoot instead, but Mona braved it, saying that she didn‟t want to risk stepping on something rusty.

The first half-mile was familiar territory—all within the boundaries of Mona‟s neighborhood since she was five.Beyond that, they came to the outskirts of the business section: gas stations, corner groceries, a few restaurants.What they needed to do was loop around so that they could bypass the more dangerous streets (although in Early Winter, even the most dangerous street was highly safe).They walked a little bit further, and then Mona got tired. “I have a pebble in my shoe,” she said.

“But we haven‟t even walked a mile yet,” Leah said.

Mona mumbled something.

They continued on, and after consulting the map,phoning Christie a couple of times, and back-tracking a couple of times, they arrived at the correct street.

The seedy split-level house was nestled between many layers of thick foliage at the end of a dark, winding gravel road. It was the nicest in the neighborhood—a run-down section of town that, ordinarily, Leah‟s stepmother would never let her come to. The houses were crumbling and deteriorating, and the trash buckets were strewn all along the road, their contents spilling out onto the ground,littering the withering grass and the broken pavement.Rednecks in tube tops and cutoffs (despite the fact that it was forty degrees outside) were sitting out on their porches, husking corn and smoking their cheap cigars.

Strange, twangy music wafted from the open windows, and giddy laughter and the angry shouts of a couple fighting could be heard from the street.But as the night masked its ugliness, its beauty was revealed. The moon above was a shining crescent in a deep black sky, and the neighborhood, set on a hill high above the rest of the town, gave a breathtaking view of the lights of downtown.Leah‟s legs were covered with goose pimples, and as the two girls walked down the long driveway, she braced herself against the chilly breeze that blew by.

Walking by, no one could tell that there was a party going on in the house that night. It looked vacant and neglected, with no light coming out from the front windows. The gate was open, but one couldn‟t see any cars in the driveway.

As they neared the house, she began to see the shadowy shapes of people hovering on the porch and in the balcony and the orange glows of lit cigarettes. She began to hear soft music coming from the interior of the house and to feel the vibrations of the base.Beside the front porch, some beer cans had been thrown and left.

Leah immediately felt pangs of anticipation. She wanted to see Brendan badly. She had wanted to catch a glimpse of him all week, but he hadn‟t been at Harris— something about a family ski trip. She knew that he was

going to be here tonight because Devon—her only male friend had guaranteed it.

They walked through the front door and it was mostly dark. People were dancing, lounging on the sofas, talking in groups, and standing around. She smelled a strange odor and saw clouds of smoke rising through the partially illuminated air. Girls and boys were partying raucously as beer spilled out from their solo cups.She saw a light and decided to follow it,grabbing Mona‟s arm as she did so. The light was very faint. She heard the sound of music thumping loudly, and decided that it was coming from downstairs, as was the light. She

reached the darkened kitchen and the door to the basement.

An amber light came from underneath it.She opened the door and descended the stairs.As soon as she set foot on the floor, a boy handed her a solo cup of beer. She shook her head but the boy said,

“What, you don‟t drink? Join the freak parade.”Leah had no choice but to keep the drink in her hands.Someone handed Mona a drink, too. She had the same expression on her face. “Was this your idea of what this party would be like?” she said in Leah‟s ear.

The music thumped and more people were down here partying.

Not once did it go through her mind that she shouldn‟t be here. Her parents had trusted her, and she had lied.Leah looked down at the cup in her hands. She had never tasted beer before. She smelled it, and it smelled vaguely like a sweaty sock.

“Where‟s Brendan?” she asked Mona.

“There‟s so many people here, and even though it‟s a small house, he could be anywhere,” she said, looking around cautiously.Leah looked around, picking at her clothes. She felt insecure and young here with all of the older kids, who all seemed to know each other and know what they were doing.