My Eyes On You

He hated her

Leah was only twelve, and in the seventh grade. She went to Harris Middle School and had only three friends to speak of: Mona, her best friend, Christie, and Hope.But Mona‟s parents were not going to be home tonight. They were going to go to a company ball in downtown Minneapolis and weren‟t going to be back until the morning.

Mona and Leah were going to sneak out of the house, walk across town, and mingle with high school boys as long as

they wanted to.

“Remember, call me whenever you want to,” Connie said.

“Day or night, I don‟t care. Your father‟s not going to be home until next Thursday, but I have the number of his hotel if you really need to get in touch with him.”

“I know,” Leah said.

Together, they gathered Leah‟s overnight bag, sleeping bag, and pillow, and set them on the front porch. By the

time Mona arrived, the sky was completely black and the humidity was so thick that it was sticky. Tree frogs or cicadas—Leah didn‟t know which—were loud and symphonious.Mona grabbed her red-and-white Snoopy sleeping bag.

Her normally subdued eyes had sparks of mischief in them as the two girls walked to the car.

“Did you get the address?”

“It‟s in Stony Hill.”

“That‟s way across town.” Mona‟s aunt was waiting with the driver‟s side door open. “Shut up,” Mona said.

Mona was a highly intelligent young woman, but an under achiever. She was placed in academically gifted classes but failed out after her first semester at the middle school. She was petite,rake-like, and with a head

a short, mahogany-brown hair. Her eyes were tiny but wise,and her cheeks were pudgy.

Connie waved good-bye from the front door, but then changed her mind and decided to walk over to the car in order to give Leah a kiss on the forehead. “Have fun watching Sixteen Candles,” she said.

“We will,” Mona said.

Connie waved good-bye again and then Mona shut the door. “If this night goes well, we‟ll be looking at sixteen cans,” Mona whispered.Leah giggled.

“Quiet, you two,” Aunt Becky said.

“Gee, I wonder if Brendan would like that movie? Do you think he‟s like that guy Molly Ringwald goes after?”

“Mona, come on.”

“Well, one thing‟s different: he doesn‟t have a girlfriend.”

Leah grew quiet. “Yeah, I know.”

“Maybe it‟ll be just like the movie, Leah. Maybe you‟ll end up with him.”

But there was a difference between the handsome rich boy in Sixteen Candles and Brendan: Brendan hated her.

For two years Brendan and his friends had been taunting her and teasing her.

She knew she wasn‟t popular. She had only three friends in the whole school, only three people she trusted enough to talk to and to open up to. These last couple of years had been hard to take, and her three friends had had a steady earful of her heartbreak and torment.

In grade school, they mimicked her and made fun of her at recess. They called her “rat face” and “vampire girl.”

They advised any new student to stay as far away from her as possible, with no good reason to do so.And so, with no friends, she lived each day as though

it were a lucid nightmare: hoping that it wasn‟t real, waiting for it to end.

But it didn‟t end. In the sixth grade, it got worse.With the heightened awareness of their sexuality, Brendan

and the boys continued with their torments, but with added emphasis.They scrutinized her body, the way she moved,

and her physical attractiveness. As a result, Leah never received any offers for dates, and furthermore was insulted, made fun of, and even threatened by other girls.

But during all this, Leah kept a secret: deep inside,deep in that place in her heart where treasured emotions were kept, she longed for him.

And not just longed: she ached. For the first time in her life, she was beginning to feel s****l desire, even though it was in the most unlikely and dangerous place.

Even though, if she really faced reality, her desire could never be satisfied.

To love the person who burns you is a strange thing: for Leah, it fueled the first flame of passion of her tender adolescence. And though he continued to hurt her, she loved him even more: burning with ever-growing intensity every time he uttered the words, “That girl is disgusting.”

He was going to be there tonight.

Brendan was a popular kid, and he had tons of friends: some of them were even in high school. Leah felt nervous, and yet excited: she felt in her heart that he wouldn‟t try to make fun of her, not tonight, but what could happen? Many things.She wanted to make a good impression on the older kids. She was happy that she was going to have a chance to talk with some people who didn‟t know anything about her reputation as a “loser,” and she was excited about the possibility that she could meet someone new.

And, above all, she was excited about seeing Brendan.Strange as it was, every time she saw him, even caught a fleeting glimpse of him, her heart sped up and her pulse raced.

Mona was holding her hand and she realized that she was biting her lip and her knee was bouncing up and down.

She could barely see Mona‟s face in the darkened car,and the moving shadows and passing lights as they drove past street lamps gave an eerie effect.

“It‟ll be alright,” Mona said softly. Then she whispered, “You look sexy.”

Leah squeezed her hand. She remembered what a classmate named Devon once told her. “Don‟t tell him you love him,” he warned.