Perfectly Broken

(10) Broken

~Ryan's POV~

Nine years ago, a wild, idiotic little boy met a sweet, happy little girl and immediately fell head over heels for her. But at the time, he was breaking because of his home life with his alcoholic father and weak mother. The weight of the world was forced on his shoulders at a young age and he thought the only way he could cope was by hurting the people around him.

The sweet, happy little girl was his favorite target.

He wanted her to be as broken as he was so they could be together, so they could bask in each other's pain and be the same. He thought she was too good for him, so every day on the playground he'd try to break that smile, shatter the happiness the little girl radiated. Because everything he'd ever known to be his was broken and the only way to make her his was to break her.

But she had a little knight watching over her who refused to have her happiness ruined for such a feeble-minded boy. It's because the little knight knew the sweet, happy little girl's smile was just for show. You see, the wild, idiotic little boy failed to notice the sweet, happy little girl wasn't so sweet and happy.

She was already broken.

"You're late," I chided, opening the door for Emma.

She looked good walking in wearing flare jeans and a tank top with a sleeveless button-down sweater that went to her thighs. She pushed up her glasses on the bridge of her nose. She first appeared with them in the second year of middle school and my ignorant self insulted her about them when I was begging to tell her how cute she looked. But she hadn't yet crumbled.

"Five minutes is not late," she stated, walking inside. She'd become familiar with my two story home in the suburbs over the three months we've been 's*x friends.' I could have argued with her that even a minute after the scheduled time was late but I wanted this to be a good day. "So what you got planned?"

I grabbed my jacket. "The mall."

She winced at the word, staggering back a bit. "The mall?" she repeated flabbergasted. "On a Saturday? Where our peers could see us...together?"

I scowled that she was acting like I'd ruin her good girl image by being seen with me outside of school. Any girl would be proud to have me walk around the mall with them—hell, a few have begged me to walk around just so someone could see us and spread the news.

"Yeah, you got a problem?" I sneered, gesturing for her to walk out. She staggered back onto the porch, still contemplating if someone saw us together. "You scared one little glimpse together and everyone will figure out you aren't the virgin you pretend to be?"

She crinkled her nose which was sort of cute. "Shut up..." she muttered in shame. I hated that she always felt insecure about me taking her virginity. I don't know. All she moaned the entire time was Alec's name. Never once have I ever heard her moan my name in pleasure. I'd usually only get it if I was punishing her and it'd come out as a painful moan. It hurt me but compelled me to continue knowing she was breaking.

I walked to my car and she followed. I opened the passenger door for her and she seemed startled by the gesture, looking at me suspiciously. "What? Is being a gentleman wrong?"

She shook her head, sliding inside. "It's nothing." When a girl says it's nothing, typically it means there something but I've learned never to push it by asking. I closed the door and got in the driver's side, igniting the engine and pulling out the driveway. We drove for a little while before she made conversation on a topic I've been trying to avoid. "Have you been checking up on Chelsea?"

My jaw clenched before I could stop it, one hand on the steering wheel and the other resting on the door. "No," I told her through my gritted teeth. Why was this a touchy subject? Because everything I've made her believe has been a lie.

Two years ago, a wild, idiotic boy met a lonely, eccentric girl who was as broken as he was.

Coming from a broken home, the inside of her as broken as the out, he wanted to connect with her in a way he so desperately wanted to connect with the sweet, happy girl. She was beautiful and stubborn and seemed to make him forget about the sweet, happy girl. Well, in the beginning, but if the lonely, eccentric girl and the sweet, happy girl stood side by side, the wild, idiotic boy would choose the sweet, happy girl every time.

For two years, he tried to find comfort in the lonely, eccentric girl and ignore the sweet, happy girl but it was futile. Eventually, the lonely, eccentric girl realized he had feelings for another that not even she could surmount. She tried everything to capture him, body, heart, and soul, but his mind would still linger about the sweet, happy girl. He no longer wanted to break her as much as he did years ago, but she still perplexed him. He still yearned to be with her, to tell her his pain, to be held by him—not sexually, but comfortingly.

He wanted her broken heart.

Then four months ago, the lonely, eccentric girl informed him that her father was sending her to a school in Montana. She was his only distraction from the sweet, happy girl and although she offered to have a long-distance relationship, he refused. The wild, idiotic boy broke her already shattered heart and never looked back.

Days later, he saw the sweet, happy girl crying her eyes out over the knight who constantly ignored her love for him. Opportunity set in and he gave her a selfish proposal, that they become s*x friends not only to satisfy her craving for the knight but for him to finally make her his. He would pretend she was the lonely, eccentric girl and she'd pretend he was the knight.

"Until one of us gets the person we love," he added. She agreed.

The sweet, happy girl failed to realize she was already loved by the wild, idiotic boy.

"Do you have contacts?" I asked Emma, passing the glasses store.

"Yeah, but I don't li—"

"Wear them from now on," I ordered, stuffing my hands in my pockets. Behind those glasses were two shimmering blue eyes that could bring any man to his knees with a glimpse. Part of me wanted those glasses to remain on so no one would know the beauty she actually is and part of me knew this was for the best. This is for her and Alec, not me, I reminded myself. My hand strained into a fist at my side at the thought.

I hated Alec. I hated that he constantly caused her emotional pain (yeah, I cause her pain but at least I compromise it with pleasure) and was so blind to it. I hated that she has to go to such lengths as to change herself for him to notice her.

"This way," I told her, leading her to a boutique she awed at. I grabbed her hand, dragging her towards the door. They were warm and small in mine. I loved those hands when they'd caress me thinking I was Alec.

"Ryan, this place looks expensive," she gasped, her fingers touching the silk dress by the entrance. "I can't afford this."

"I can." My uncle spoiled me with money although I had a job and would always tell him I can support myself. I knew why he did, to keep his precious secrets.

She shook her head bewilderedly, the innocents in her eyes captivating me. "I could never let you—"

"I'm using my money on you and there will be no debate about it," I hissed just so she wouldn't refuse. If I used my temper on her, she'd shut up quicker than me being all civil.

"Fine," she barked. But I knew she would be making a hole in my wallet for that attitude of mine. I didn't mind though. I've never had a day with Emma that wasn't anything s****l and I was going to let her spend every penny if that's what kept her by my side.

She scanned the racks of clothes, her eyes shining at the different clothes she wouldn't typically wear but I knew she wanted to. She always wore such baggy clothes that never showed of those exquisite curves I love to feel when we're together in bed. I can't believe I'm going to let other guys see her curves. I've been the only guy who's ever seen her entire body. The first time we ever did it, it took a good portion of the day to convince her to take her clothes off. She was shy about her body which made me want her more.

"Try on this one," I told her, handing her a black and purple dress that stopped just above her thigh. She always wore ugly natural colors that didn't flatter her majority of the time. She looked at me like I was crazy and I mentally kicked myself for giving it to her knowing so much of her long legs would be bare. I paced over to grab a pair of see through black stockings and handed them to her which calmed her nerves a bit. "Go change."

She rolled her eyes but complied, walking to the changing booth. I walked around, seeing some studded black ankle wedges. Last I remember, she tried to experiment with regular heels before and she broke her ankle, swearing she'd never wear heels again. Hopefully, she'd take a chance on these.

I slipped them under her changing booth and took a seat, checking my watch. Plenty of time to walk around the mall, probably grab lunch soon. For some reason, that brought a smile on my face that I'd be spending the whole day with Emma like a couple even though it was all for Alec.

It's always for Alec.

On the last day of middle school before high school, the wild, idiotic boy was inches from breaking the sweet, happy girl into pieces. The thought of not seeing her every day because of summer pained him every year and he'd make one last attempt to make her spiral down to his level. The beast inside him awoke, caged up for months until that day came, and then hell would break loose, determined to break her.

The sweet, happy girl had a very special talent in art. She'd draw everything under the sun and that was one of the things he needed to break because it continued to fuel her happiness. It built that wall pushing him out and it would only get stronger the more time he wasted.

On the last day, he knew the sweet, happy girl was excited about her drawings being displayed at the local gallery. And to congratulate her, the school was going to display them for the first time in the auditorium for the whole school to see. The wild, idiotic boy didn't want the sweet, happy girl to grow even happier, to grow further from him into the light instead of the dark.

So he ripped them to shreds.

He snuck into the auditorium before the presentation and shredded the paper, tore the canvases, shattered her statutes, and snuck back out. Every cut, every rip, everything he just broke was a piece of her and he knew she'd never be able to mend. She would soon be just like him and would never seek the light again.

But to his amazement, she didn't break down to tears like he expected, she didn't throw a fit, she didn't even blink an eye at the destruction. She just looked numb. The sweet, happy girl walked down the podium numb and robotically with no expression on her face. She walked right towards the wild, idiotic boy who stood in the back watching the pandemonium in victory.

Her blue eyes that used to harbor light and goodness were piercing into him with darkness and sorrow. She paused in front of him. The worse he expected from her was "I hate you" to roll off her tongue.

"You win," she said blankly. Then she left.

The wild, idiotic boy never knew such pain could dwell in his heart until that day.

"Ryan," Emma called.

I snapped my attention away from my thoughts to see the stunning woman pose in the dress, bending down to adjust her shoe. She looked far more beautiful than I'd imagined. The thought annoyed me that she would be wasted on Alec's ignorant ass.

"Take your ponytail out," I ordered, leaning back in the seat, soaking up every aspect of her. She sighed disgruntled, pulling it out. Chocolate brown hair cascaded down her shoulders and to her slender waist. I licked my lips discreetly, staring at her plump breast, the curves of her body in just the right places, her slender legs visible through the stretchy stocking material. "Take off your glasses."

She did so shyly, biting the end of one seductively which only got my adrenaline pumping. "So, is it alright?" she asked, looking down at herself. You're too perfect, I wanted to say. I want you all to myself. f**k Alec.

Pushing myself out of the chair, I marched towards her and cupped my hands around her cheeks. My body pressed against hers, pushing her back into the changing room. Her blue eyes widened at my impulsiveness, not knowing how much she could turn me on with those eyes.

Her plump lips trembled when her back hit the wall and I captured it with mine. The kiss was gentle, soft, filled with mild craving so I wouldn't scare her. The first time I touched those lips, it was out of bitter punishment to sustain my craving she was neglecting me of. How come she couldn't see how much I wanted her? Once she realized this wasn't punitive, she deepened the kiss, wrapping her arms around my neck. The way her lips molded onto mine created an indescribable spark and the way she moaned against my lips told me she felt it too.

My hands wrapped around her waist, caressing her succulent curves on the way down. Finding an opening, I let my tongue slip into her mouth, drawing closer to her body. She felt so good. It felt like ages since I last touched her. One hand clung to the soft strands of her hair while the other drifted lower between her thighs. A whimpering moan escaped her, making me rub circles in her sensitive spot just to hear more.

I freakin' love this girl.

I stepped back breathlessly, caressing her blushing cheek one last time. "You look beautiful," I compliment. She just stared at me, trying to catch her breath, her face beet red at the torridness of the kiss. I smirked, appreciating that I could get that kind of reaction from her, walking out the dressing booth.

I'm going to make her fall for me. And I'm going to show her who the true jerk in her life is.

The summer before freshman year, the knight made a surprise visit to see the wild, idiotic boy. The knight startled him with a punch in the face and the wild, idiotic boy fought back until they were tumbling in the yard. He hated the knight for he knew the selfishness, the deceit, the ill-natured heart that lurked behind his shiny armor. He stole the sweet, happy girl's heart with the power of manipulation.

When they had no energy left to fight, they laid breathless on the heated summer lawn, staring at the sun. "She threw all her art supplies in the dumpster today," the knight informed him when he finally caught his breath. Neither of them looked at one another, only at the clouds drifting by in the sky. "She doesn't want to draw anymore because of you."

"Why do you care?" the wild, idiotic boy asked calmly.

"Because she's my best friend."

The wild, idiotic boy felt anger cloud his mind for a moment before letting it go. "You're just using her because of me. You're not her friend, you're a liar."

The knight laughed, eyes glued to a bird in the tree. "You've hurt her more than I have. Who do you think she'll believe?"

The wild, idiotic boy winced at his laughter, at his sinister tone that only filled him with dread. "What if I stop liking her? Will you leave her alone?"

"Never." The knight sat up in the grass, sighing. "I'll never stop."

The wild, idiotic boy closed his eyes, feeling tears swim at the rim of them. "Why her? Why me?"

The knight stood up, looming over the wild, idiotic boy with a menacing smirk. "You should have never stolen my mother." The knight walked away, leaving the wild, idiotic boy to ponder on his words in sadness.

That was the last time the wild, idiotic boy allowed himself to fully cry.

Emma and I found some more clothes for her to try on in the boutique and at other shops. We now walked out of the fourth store where I demanded she buy some accessories. She wouldn't have done it if I just asked. She'd look at me in suspicion if I did.

While heading to the food court, she paused at the window of an art shop, staring at a deluxe painting and drawing kit. The darkness and sorrow glazed over in her eyes and I felt a ping in my heart at her reflection. She was lonely, she was hurt, and she didn't have a way to cope. I did that, I locked up her heart so she wouldn't know true relief. Why? Because I'm a selfish bastard.

She turned away, walking in silence without looking at me. I didn't want her to look at me for I knew she would remind me of my idiotic destruction in middle school. In a time when I used to seek a way of breaking her unaware that she was already broken. She was broken the moment she stepped into town only days after her fathers' death.

I didn't know that until I got to know her sexually and emotionally these past three months. But for the life of me, I couldn't bring myself to reveal myself until I knew she was mine wholeheartedly.

"Emma," I said assertively. She turned to me, her eyes slightly glazed over by darkness but not as much. I handed her some money which she accepted cautiously. "Get something to eat and find a table. I need to get something."

She nodded, looking around at the several food services. I turned back down the hall we just left and swiftly entered the art shop we paused outside of. The deluxe art set was close to the entrance and I grabbed it, looking around to grab a few canvases and a sketchbook. I set everything on the counter and although it would be expensive, it was worth it. Anything to get that sweet, happy girl back.

Everything stored in a bag, I left to return to the food court to see Emma sitting by herself eating a cheeseburger and fries. She looked up at me when I took a seat across, swallowing. Her blue eyes were no longer glazed over.

She looked down at her food in shame. "Sorry, I didn't know what you wanted." She slid a wrapped burger towards me. "So I got you the same."

"Thanks." I sat the bag down beside me and leaned closer to her, arms perched on the table. "Emma, make me a promise."

"You've been demanding a lot of me today. Are you going to order me to get a purse?"

I shook my head, snickering at her mockery. "No. I want you to promise me that if this Alec thing goes well, you'll return to something."

She arched an eyebrow. "Return to what?"

I took out the deluxe art kit and placed it on the table, her mouth dropping slightly. "You'll go back to drawing and painting. This is my gift to you."