Perfectly Broken

(11) s*x Jealousy

[For Mature Audiences]

I stared a hole into the bag containing the deluxe art kit across the room, spinning in my desk chair in my bedroom. Despite Ryan's generosity yesterday (which completely freaked me out), I accepted it, him telling me only to open it when I got Alec as a boyfriend. It was taunting me to open it and Ryan knew it would, threatening that if I opened it otherwise, we'd spend a whole day at his place punishing me. In the back of my mind, I had the urge to test his threat, wondering if opening it would be worth it.

"Emma, someone's downstairs for you," mom called.

Ripping my eyes away from my guilty pleasure, I stood up straightening my new ruffle skirt, V-neck shirt that exposed my shoulder, and a silver belt around my waist. For a guy, Ryan had some sensible taste in clothes and for some reason, he knew I wasn't like those other girls who liked to flaunt skin all willy-nilly.

When I headed downstairs, sticking my tongue out at Chase when he chanted "Emma's got a boyfriend" along the way, I saw mom talking to Jude at the doorway. "...it's not that she's antisocial, it's just her friend, Alec, is so overprotective but I'm glad she's venturing out of her comfort zone without him," mom told him giddily.

Jude stood by the door, both hands stuffed in his jacket pockets, listening to her with a soft grin. His eyes darted to me when I stepped off the staircase and his grin widened. "Well, hello there, not so antisocial," he mocked. I glance at mom, questioning why she had to blab to people about her fear that I'd never get any friends or boyfriends because I was shy.

"Emma where are your glasses?" mom asked with a gasp.

"Upstairs. I decided to start wearing my contacts." I gestured Jude to head out the door, opening it before mom could say anything else to embarrass me. "Let's go, Jude."

"Aww, my baby girl is trying to look good for a man on a date—"

"Mom!" I whined. "It's not a date." She just chuckled and waved us off, giving me thumbs up before I closed the door. After that, I felt a bit meek that she'd announce I was antisocial. I just wasn't all out there like most people, that's all. "Sorry about my mom," I apologized to Jude, walking to his car. My eyes kept snapping towards Alec's house, hoping he didn't notice that Jude—his ex's step-brother—was picking me up. I didn't know if he'd be freaked out that I befriended him, angry, hurt, or content about it.

Jude opened my door and I hesitated for a moment, feeling an overwhelming sense of déja vu. Ryan did the same thing which was out of context for him but it might have been something Jude did on a regular base. I slipped inside before he could notice my reluctance. Once he was in the driver seat and started up the car, he made conversation.

"You're mom's cool," he said, pulling out the driveway.

I rolled my eyes, pursing my lips. "Whatever you say. And I'm not antisocial, I just don't talk to every person I come by."

"Wow," he awed, gawking at me a moment. "I'm the opposite, I talk to everyone whether they want to talk or not." That brought a smile to my face, already seeing that in his personality. He's been texting me since I gave him my number and he seemed to be a generally happy person. But I knew that he wasn't completely happy with Brooke and his dad's betrayal, maybe even more thing vexed him than just that.

"So what movie are we going to see?"

"Not a chick flick, I'm sorry to put that out there," he stated bluntly, the corner of his lip tilting. "We're going to see an action movie. They tend to have some chick-flick-ness in some scenes."

I scoffed. "How considerate."

"I know, right." He gave a goofy smile before startling me by running his fingers through my hair. The back of his hand grazed my neck, sending heated shudders through my body I had to sustain. "You know I'm joking. We can see whatever you want."

"Thanks, I like actions movies though."

Minutes later, we were pulling up to the theater. On a Sunday, there were only a handful of people here getting tickets and I was glad it wouldn't be packed. About to step out the car, Jude hindered my attempt with, "Wait!"

"What?"

"You're not allowed to buy anything yourself. I'm paying for everything." Not this again. First Ryan, now Jude. It kind of made me feel ashamed that I was using their money. I spent a lot of Ryan's money, including the art kit, and it felt weird because, at the end of the day, he refused my offer of paying him back. He even threated that if I even thought about repaying him, he'd bend me over and...well, let's just say it made me blush profusely.

He stepped out the car before I could utter a word, heading towards the ticket booth while I followed behind, meeting up with him once he paid for the tickets. He stuck out his tongue when I frowned as he handed me my ticket, holding the door for me.

"I'm going to sneak a five in your pocket when you're not looking," I muttered.

He let out a velvety smooth laugh that caused my heart to pump vigorously. Why did that happen? He's a pervert for crying out loud. "I'd like to see you try—"

"What would you like?" a familiar voice asked as we approached the food counter. That pounding in my heart stopped immediately at the sight of Ryan staring seriously at us. What was he doing here? Well, duh, working, but here of all places? His voice was professional but it was laced with—animosity?—giving Jude a one over.

Jude didn't even notice, staring at the picture of popcorn behind Ryan's head. "Ah, one medium-sized popcorn and a cherry slushy. What would you like, babe?" Did he just call me babe? I looked at him appalled which just made him give me a playful grin. Did he not see Ryan glaring knives into him?

I averted my eyes from both Ryan and Jude, staring at the food bar. "Just a cherry slushy." I could feel both their eyes on me, making my knees feel weak, and my heart somersaulting at the radiation. I was pretty sure I was reddening as I looked down at the ground, running a foot along a smudge on the floor.

Questions kept racing through my mind. Would Ryan be angry? Would I get punished? Why would he be angry? We aren't dating. And I've seen him hanging out with plenty of girls, what was wrong with me hanging out with another guy? Although I stuck to the belief that there was nothing to be ashamed of, I couldn't fight the overwhelming guilt.

"Ready to go?" Jude asked popcorn and slushy's in hand. I didn't even notice Ryan making them or handing them to him. When I looked at the counter, Ryan had his back towards me, heading through the storage closet.

"Yeah." After yesterday, I can't lie, I felt closer to Ryan knowing we could act as a sort of public couple, no matter how weird our dilemma and relationship was. But having him see me with another guy and hearing that guy call me babe—although it was a joke—made me feel like a cheater. Why did I feel that way?

We handed in our tickets and marched to our theater, snagging a seat in the middle. The previews began and Jude offered some popcorn which I refused. I couldn't eat or drink before the movie or I knew I'd need to go to the bathroom. Thinking about the bathroom...

"Jude, I'll be right back," I told him, standing up. He looked up at me questioningly. "Girls' room." That was enough for him to nod and turn his attention back to the previews. I scurried out the theater and down the hall to use the bathroom. Exiting, I looked in the mirror, seeing that I was still red at what happened. I splash some water on myself before drying my hands and walking out.

"Who's that guy?"

I practically shrieked at Ryan who was leaning against the wall, waiting for me. He had a scowl etched into his features and I could tell he was furious. My legs felt numb with his scrutinizing gaze on me, that shameful feeling escalating. "A friend," I choked, staring at everything other than him.

"A friend?" His jaw clenched at the words, pushing himself off the wall. "A friend that calls you babe?"

After a second of hesitation, he rolled his eyes irritated and grabbed my wrist, dragging me down the hall. "Uh, Ryan...where are you taking me?" I stuttered frightened, walking past the theater I departed from. He ignored me, open a door by the exit close to the last theater. Once inside, I realized it was a private room, practically empty beside the few seats.

"Now tell me about this friend again," Ryan pursed, giving me a dirty look. His body was slowly pressing me to the wall, both hands barricading me.

"It's true, we're just friends," I argued, trying not to fall into his welcoming body heat.

He licked his lips seductively. Hazel eyes peered into me no longer glare but hungering for something causing me to gulp. "Who is he?" He no longer sounded angry and I could tell he was holding back on purpose. Why? I don't know. But it comforted me to answer his question honestly, feeling my heart race at the closeness.

"Jude. Brooke's step-brother I met a few days ago."

"Why are you on a date?" he whispered bitterly, his lips now brushing against mine. Fragments of anger were starting to expose but I didn't mind for some reason.

"It's not a date. He just asked me to the movies, that's all."

Not a second could flash by before his lips crashed into mine, delicate yet robust, fluttering my heart. It was pleasurable like yesterday, not punitive as I would have expected from him, soothing my nerves and clouding my mind. One of his hands caressed my cheek while the other held us in place when I drew him close, digging my fingers through his hair. He felt so intoxicating like he was possessing me, and the scary part was...I liked it. I liked it a lot.

He pulled away breathlessly, panting before speaking. "Emma." My name sounded so pure rolling off his tongue that it sent thrilling shivers throughout my body. "I know we're on a break but I need you, I need Emma, and I want you to want me as Ryan, not as Alec."

I was still catching my breath, feeling my heart drop to my ribs. "Ryan, I don't un..."

He kissed my lips again, making me hot all over and mindlessly crave for more. When did his kisses feel so wonderful? There were as breathtaking as they were yesterday. "My mindset is on you and Alec," he groaned, his eyes darkening. "I can handle that but any other guy...oh, Emma..."

"Ryan, are you...jealous?" My voice was tiny like an insecure child asking an inappropriate question.

His eyes widened for a second until they looked down at the ground then back at me. I gasped quietly, his hazel eyes filling up with more compassion than I thought he possessed. "I've spent the past three months having s*x with you. Do you think I wouldn't feel something from that? I...care about. So, yes, I get jealous seeing you with guys."

So he got jealous too? It relieved me to know he also got..."s*x jealousy" when seeing me with another guy.

He continued, lowering his lips to mine. "Just one time...say my name."

His lips captured mine and I welcomed the exotic sensation, wrapping my arms around his shoulders. I felt happy that he admitted he cared about me, that he got the same "s*x jealousy" that I got. His kisses trailed to the nap of my neck, suckling on my sensitive spot gently. A moan escaped and my fingers tangled into his hair, falling into ecstasy. He came up only to slip my shirt off barbarically, throwing it on the floor and growing a little rougher with hunger. He felt good. I never noticed how much I missed having s*x with him.

He unbuttoned his shirted and I took the initiative to kiss him, feeling like his lips were a drug I couldn't get enough of. Why was I feeling this way towards him? I didn't know and I didn't care right now, feeling his hands caressing my breast gently. His hands massaged one while the other he skimmed down to hip, squeezing my butt harshly. I drew him closer, whimpering when his lips left mine. Oh, God, I've never whimpered for his lips before. A smirk grasped his lips and he kissed my cheek, nibbled my ear, and trailed kisses down my neck to my breast. Another moan escaped, heated pleasure filling me up.

His fingers found the hem of my underwear beneath my skirt and his warm fingers caused an electrifying current to rush through me. He slipped them off, throwing them with my shirt. When he dipped his head down, out of instinct, I widened my legs to give him full access. He first rubbed his fingers along my core, kissing my stomach as his hazel eyes looked deep into me. His eyes were asking for something I could decipher it before he looked down, his tongue touching my entrance ever so slightly.

It was enough to moan his name, "Ryan." I felt the vibration of his smile growing, his hunger unleashing a full force as he ate me viciously. I clung to the wall at the suddenness, a screech escaping. Breathing heavily and shivering at every flicker of his tongue, feeling his hands hold onto my waist to pull me closer. I felt ready to come and I think he noticed as he stopped.

"Don't you come yet," he ordered. I could help but smile, remembering when he demanded that of me only days ago, yet it felt like months had passed by since we...

"Ah!" I gasped when he put two fingers in me, rolling them around, catching my nectar with his tongue. I didn't even notice he'd taken off his pants until his fingers left my entrance and he towered me, his body heat engulfing me. He snared me a vigorous kiss, pressing my body to the wall until I felt his manhood chafe against my entrance, making me moan against his lips. He found his way inside me and he bit my lips when I moaned loudly. His felt sensational. I wrapped my legs around his waist, finding myself moaning his name like a chant. "Ryan...oh, Ryan..."

"Emma," he whispered in my ear huskily. I moaned at the sound. He pumped inside for a while, kissing my lips as the cool wall against my back relaxed me. Had Ryan always felt this good? Was it because he just told me he cared about me? Whatever it was, I adored it to the fullest.

We came together with a grunt from him and a high-pitched moan from me he chuckled at. I smacked him on the shoulder, not like that he was teasing me all of a sudden. "What? It's cute," he chuckled as we slide down to the floor. If I wasn't so hot, I'd think I was blushing. I smacked him on the chest gently, taking advantage of seeing him so nurturing and carefree...in a good way.

And that's when reality struck me. I'd just given myself up to him so easily again, just like the first time we did it. Vulnerability and guilt washed over me as I scurried out of his grasp. Like always, he knows just what to say to get me to submit to him. "Emma?" I grabbed my shirt and underwear, slipping them on, refusing to look at him. I could believe he cared about me but that didn't mean that he just wanted me for s*x, unable to handle a break. And I guess neither could I.

For the first time, I realized I wasn't thinking about Alec the whole time.

I scowled that Ryan had played me again. Maybe this whole thing was a mistake because he was making me forget my feelings for Alec which wouldn't do for me. I felt his hand brush my shoulders behind me but I brushed them off, fixing my shirt. "You used me," I accused through my gritted teeth. For the first time, I had s*x without thinking about Alec. The aberration of it struck me hard as I stomped out the door, only hearing him call my name before closing the door.

I headed to the bathroom to get cleaned up, having to use their hand soap to disguise the faint scent of s*x on me. When I walked out, I saw a panicked looking Jude walking out the theater, looking around. "Jude?" I called, walking towards him.

He took a breath of relief, walking towards me. "I thought you baled on me," he told me, making me feel guilty.

"I'm so sorry, I saw a friend and we got to talking and time just flew by," I lied effortlessly. I couldn't tell him about what just happened with me and Ryan. First of all, he doesn't know Ryan so it'll just look like I just screwed the food counter guy. And second, I was embarrassed to be having s*x in a movie theater. "I'll make it up to you. We can pick another movie. I'll get you some more popcorn." I gave a flirtatious smile.

The corner of his mouth quivered to smile but he seemed sad at the fright of me baling. "You don't have to." I twirled my hair around, trying to ignore this guilty ping in my gut. "Plus, I kind of stole your slushy when you didn't come back." He gave a playful shrug. "It was dying."

I scoffed. "I deserved it. But I'm really sorry for making you think I baled. How about we just go out to for some real food, okay?"

He gave me a genuine smile, making my nerves calm down. "You're not going to say you need to go to the bathroom and bale when the check comes, are you?"

I giggled, nudging him. "Of course not, you're paying, remember?"

"Ha-ha-ha," he laughed sarcastically as we made our way to the front door. "Since you're so cute, I guess I'll make an exception and let that slide."

"Thank you."

Before we could head out, I looked over my shoulder to see Ryan walking towards the food court, buttoning up his shirt. Our eyes caught and I could notice a glimpse of sad pain in his eyes before he turned away. Wasn't he using me? Why did he look so hurt? I exited, turning away and following Jude to his car.