BOUGAINVILLEA

Karen* A pair of eyes were set upon me to watch my every move and it terrifies me; I often imagine a faceless image with colorless eyes,The stare gets so intense I could feel it, but when I look around the room,I see no one. I’ve dreams of this faceless image,it’s colorless eyes staring at me,devoid of any emotions. It watches me closely,comforting me in times of sorrow and cheering me on in times of joy. In the night,when I take off my clothes and feel the cold water running through my body,I feel it’s eyes on me studying my every move. I can’t see it nor can I touch it but I can feel it; I can feel every part of it. It’s intense stare,it’s judgmental stare every time I do something wrong,it’s whispers makes me question my sanity. I feel like I’m at the brick of loosing my mind when I hear it whispers in hushed tones,I don’t understand what it says most times but sometimes it’s audible enough. “Together” “You and I” “Mine” Every time I’ve suicidal thoughts,I see it’s eyes,encouraging me to do it. “Karen Monalisa Luther,get out of that bed before I come up there”I heard my mum yell from downstairs. With one last look at my small room,I picked up my bag and made my way out of the room shutting the door behind me as I made my way down the stairs to see Mum’s face etched with anger. “Classes doesn’t start until tomorrow”I stated,rolling my eyes and walking past her to the dinning table. I don’t understand why she always has to be so strict about everything “Comb your hair Karen” “Eat your lunch Karen” “Go to Crowns Karen” “Learn ballet Karen” The thought of her always brings a frown to my face,we have no relationship whatsoever,our bond is as plain as it could be. I find myself constantly wishing she was not so uptight about everything then maybe we would have a mother and daughter bond instead of our plain relationship “You know what I always say”she started “Early birds always get the worm”I repeated,my voice laced with annoyance “Exactly,now eat your breakfast,it’s a three hours drive to crowns”she encouraged,as she walked away. I couldn’t be more excited,I’ve waited for this day,begged for it,prayed for it and it’s finally here. I’ll be away from her Away from this house and it’s hunting memories I forced my cereal down my throat in a rush.With one last look at the house,I rushed into the car with my backpack hanging loosely on one arm,settling in the front seat next to mum. The drive was filled with mum’s advice and my nonchalant nods. I made a mental note to do everything she warned me against. … Three hours later, the car swept through a massive black gate, unveiling sprawling buildings and a crowd of people. Some were dressed to the nines, while others kept it casual, chatting and laughing as they strolled. Amidst the scene, some couples were lost in their own world, shamelessly making out without a care for the onlookers. So this is what college looks like “I think those are the dorms”mum announced happily,stopping the car in front of a big brown building. “It’s huge”I replied. My eyes scanning the building in front of us. It was a tall brown building with big glass windows. “The email says yours is C6”She declared,her eyes scanning the screen of her phone. We got down from the car,carrying the boxes from the car as we walked side in side looking for dorm C6. “There it is”I announced,pointing to a white door,c6 was written boldly on it. I put the key in and twisted it,unlocking the door revealing a small room with two small sized beds. The first side was decorated with pink dolls and teddies,glitter was evident on them. Yay,I’ve to live with a weirdo “I’ll get the other boxes”mum stated,walking out of the room. I sat on my bed,taking in my surroundings,this is actually really nice. It Just needs a little decorations:few posters of chase Atlantic,black bedsheets and that should be it “See you girls tomorrow”I heard a tiny voice say,followed my heels clicking. I raised my head to see where the voice came from and amusement filled me as my eyes landed on her. She looks exactly like dove Cameroon:pale white skin,blonde hair and the most beautiful pair of blue eyes,I’ve ever seen. “Hi,I’m Tasha and you must be Karen?”she asked,her beautiful blue eyes blazing with excitement as she scanned my face “Yeah,nice to meet you Tasha”I replied,stretching my hand for an handshake. Awkward? I’m not use to having friends or meeting people. Back in high school,i distanced my self from everyone because I didn’t fit in anywhere;not a nerd,not a popular girl,not a mean girl,I was labeled a lot of things;weirdo,psycho and a lot more but who cares? This is college and I’m sure as hell going to leave my best life. She took my hand with a smile on her face. “You’ve really nice hair,what products do you use?”Tasha asked,her face etched with curiosity as she ran her fingers through my hair. “Coconut oil,you should try it,it smells amaz…” “Making friends already?”mum chimed in,walking towards us. “Mum,Tasha. Tasha,mum”I introduced,as I watched mum’s face glow in excitement. Oh No. “You’re so beautiful”mum exclaimed,touching Tasha’s cheeks and hair,Tasha just smiled in response.”you look so much like Dove Cameroon,Karen use to love her when she was younger,she watched descendants about 50 times,right Karen?” Embarrassment starts to creep in as I watched mum’s smile grow wider “Karen also has trouble making friends”mum blurted,I watched Tasha’s smile start to fade as she watched mum go on and on about irrelevant things. … “I’m really sorry about all that” “I know how mum’s can be”she said and we both burst into laughter “Want to do something Fun?”she asked, Her eyes sparkling with a mischievous glint