Until debt do us part -Written by Jennafer Conley

I had already seen a few of my family members standing around something on my way back. I could only see the tops of their heads slightly looking down. I knew who they were and the order they were standing. They were about 6 of them and they were slightly spread apart. They were all facing in the same direction around something. I didn't know what they were doing but it was something I had never seen them do before. I opened my eyes and the first thing I could see was my brother standing directly in front of me. My vision was very blurry and I was not able to focus very well. I just knew it was my brother. I knew I lived in Ohio and at the time, I knew he lived in the Bahamas. I couldn't figure out why he was staring at me with tears pouring out of his eyes. I am not quite sure if he was able to see through his tears but when he thought he was able to see something, he wiped his eyes and looked again. I was trying to tell him to help me but he began looking around to see if anyone else had noticed that I was awake. He looked like he needed some type of confirmation because he just couldn't believe I was really awake. Standing beside my brother was a priest holding an open bible. He has his head down as if he was reading the Bible aloud. I wasn't sure why he was there because I was not ever much of a believer. My brother was so happy about seeing me wake up and I just couldn't understand the tears, the happiness and the sad excitement. I was watching him smile and clap his hands. I looked for my mother. I needed to tell her what happened. I tried to get up but my arms and legs felt like concrete. I kept trying to get up and the more I tried, the more I felt like I was tied down. The only thing I could do was move my eyeballs. Then I heard a voice in my ear. It was my mother and I heard her say, "you died." I started to panic because all I wanted was to tell my mother that I didn't do this. I needed her to know that I needed help. Then she turned around and walked out. I was trying to scream for her to come back and help me but she didn't. She kept going and didn't look back. The others followed her out of the room. I thought I passed back out because I have never felt that kind of pain before. I felt like I was literally ripped to shreds. My heart was absolutely crushed. The next time I woke up, I was trying so hard to talk and get up but I couldn't. I couldn't open or close my mouth and my tongue couldn't move around the big piece of plastic in my mouth. All I could do was cry and I couldn't even wipe my own tears away from my eyes but I could feel them pouring down the sides of my face to my ears. I couldn't find my mom. She was all I had. I have never felt something so horrific in my life. There are not any words that can describe the level of devastation, pain and heartbreak that I was feeling. No matter how hard I was trying, there was absolutely nothing I could do about it and that will haunt me until the end of time. Every time I woke up again, I was still physically unable to move and still couldn't talk but I was starting to look around more. I didn't know where I was and the room was quiet. It was darker than usual and I heard a pump and a loud beeping of all of the equipment around me. I had so many questions and couldn't ask anyone. I was waking up and then going back to sleep after just a few minutes. It seemed like I kept getting pulled back into my sleep. That was something I couldn't fight against. I couldn't leave the room with anyone and I was so hurt. This pain was so unimaginable and no matter who may have been there, I was all alone, ripped to shreds and there was absolutely nothing that I could do about it. I knew that I would never be the same. I was completely paralyzed and I still didn't know the full extent of the damage. The last thing I could remember was being with a friend of mine visiting a couple of other people at their house. I had a few drinks and when I went to the bathroom I left my drink on the counter right outside of the door. There was a man that had tried to hit on me and I told him no thanks, I'm not like that and went into the bathroom. I came out of the bathroom and sat down in living room. I glanced at the clock and it was almost 4 p.m. and I overheard a story that I thought was hilarious. I began laughing really hard and I tilted my head back and that was it. I was gone. The one thing I knew that I did not do this to myself. I was a "Jane Doe". when I had arrived at the hospital in Dayton, Ohio on September 2, 2012. I was found in my own vehicle parked somewhere in Dayton, where my body was disposed of. Two younger women apparently noticed me in the back of my SUV and they knew that I was seconds away from dying. When the girls took me to the hospital, the E.R. came to get me out of the vehicle to stretch me out on the gurney. My body was already stiffening. I had been left in a very awkward position and my circulation had been cut off at the waist for a long time. I was unaccounted for and unaware of what happened to me from the last moment I remember being awake until I arrived at the hospital, at least 10-12 hours. My leg muscles had died and when I was stretched out, my blood started to move. That death in my blood was overloaded with potassium. This is what causes a dead body to bloat and swell up during decomposition. My leg was so big it was almost ready to explode open and when my blood reached my heart, it immediately threw me into cardiopulmonary arrest. I had died for 8 minutes and this is when my life changed permanently. They were working on me, connecting me to the equipment as they were reviving me and rushing me into emergency surgery. They were able to get my heart beating after 8 minutes but now my leg was getting cut open and I was getting blood transfusions. All of the muscles in my leg from my knee to my ankle had died in my left leg and had to be removed immediately. My blood was overloaded with death and had to be refreshed. My kidneys had completely failed and I was on life support, barely hanging on to life. It wasn't looking good and chances of survival were almost nothing. If survival happens or not, nothing will be the same. There was a big hole in the back of my head that had bled so much that my waist length hair was a dried block of blood and it had to all be cut off. I had several large blood clots and I had 13 surgeries the first 3 weeks. I couldn't move anything on my body except for my eyeballs. The group of nerves that is up under your arms, was damaged. A nurse later told me that it was probably from someone trying to lift and drag me by grabbing under my arms. The damage was so severe and unimaginable, that I eventually researched that on my own and the damage was equivalent to wrecking a motorcycle at 55-65 mph and my arms being yanked so hard that those nerve endings were ripped out of my spine. That caused the paralysis. I had to receive about 13 blood transfusions from multiple people. Dialysis eventually brought my kidneys back to good health. I can remember one of the dialysis treatments after I was awake from my coma, the nurse held my arm up and I was able to see my hospital bracelet. My name was not on it. There was only a long number with JD. I was Jane Doe. Remember, I was brought there in my own vehicle. My purse, phones and identification was still in my purse and the vehicle was registered in my name. If someone would have ran the plates, my home address would be there, where I lived with my mother. I suppose nobody thought to look into this any further. Nobody reported this and the Emergency room did not alert police. They told me I did all of this to myself. I can remember up until the very last minute and that was not true. Someone did that to me. I don't understand how it was possible for them to make that assumption. This happened in 2012 in Dayton, Ohio when the heroin/fentanyl epidemic had peaked and many people lost their lives. I did not willingly do nor did I ever see any drugs that day. The hospital was overloaded with deceased bodies and they had "cold trucks" parked on the premises because the morgue was full of bodies. I guess that made sense to not alert anyone. There wasn't an article written or anything. I have looked everywhere. I had later found out that nobody even looked for me when I was missing. My life meant nothing to so many people. The truth is, I was a bad alcoholic but I always gave a helping hand and to those who needed it. I never had a solid mentor and I was learning the best way I knew how to. It went to s**t quite a few times but the was the only way I was going to learn, through experience. Real, true, live, experience, of the dark side. Most people have no idea just how dark the deepest parts of hell can be. After a while of being in a coma, I remember one of the times I woke up. I had already had 10 surgeries to remove all of the death from my body. During one of the, I woke up, I looked around and I felt the horrific pain. I realized that I still couldn't talk and I couldn't move at all. The doctors had my leg sliced all the way down both sides and they were pulling tape off my leg and my skin was stretching with it and it was the worst pain that I had ever felt in my life. There are not any strong enough words to even describe that level of devastation, emotional and physical pain. I could see the doctors leaning over me and it reminded me of the way it would look in a movie if someone would have been abducted by aliens. I couldn't do anything about any of it and I couldn't even scream for help. I had never felt this kind of fear. They must have sedated me again but I soon woke up again and this time I could smell a horrible smell. The smell of death and it was so foul. I continued to look around as much as I could but without being able to move, I wasn't able to get the whole picture but I noticed the metal edge around me and I was freezing cold. I was shivering and any air that was even remotely close to touching my skin, it felt like I was breathing in air of Antarctica through my mouth into freshly broken teeth. All of my skin felt like broken teeth from the severe nerve damage. I was lying on metal that was ice cold and this pain was horrific. Then I realized that I was in the morgue. They were removing so much death from my body and the hospital was overloaded with overdose victims and they didn't have anywhere to keep me while I continued to have so many surgeries. I was finally back to a room and the next time I was able to see my mother, she was so hurt to see me. I won't ever forget her the way she looked at me. That face is burned into my brain permanently. I was so weak, paralyzed, in horrific pain and my soul was shattered in pieces. The one thing I knew for sure was that I did not do this to myself. I paid attention to the things I would over hear or some of the things the nurses would say also. There were times that I was able to ask questions later on during my stay. Absolutely nothing made enough sense for any of it to even be believable at all. There is not any part of my story that didn't scream, foul play. The emergency room doctors had brought me into the emergency room. I was revived from the cardiopulmonary arrest after 8 minutes, intubated and had emergency surgery. I was in a coma, hooked up to the equipment of life support and in intensive care. I was unidentified. Jane Doe is only a number. Bring brought into the hospital, nobody bothered to call the police and no reports were made about any, except the medical notes. Nobody noticed the bloody hole in the back of my head. Nobody noticed that my SUV was still sitting in the parking lot. Nobody noticed my purse and my phones were in my car. One of the injuries I had is a severe brachial plexus injury. My whole body was completely paralyzed. The severity of the injury is equivalent to a motorcycle wreck and my arms being yanked one way and my head pulled in the opposite direction, ripping my nerve endings out and away from my spinal cord causing the paralysis that I endured for almost two years. This means that weighing about 215 pounds, 5'9" tall and unconscious, I had to have been dragged by my head, Arms pulled so hard and fast as a auto accident to rip my nerves out of my spinal cord, dropped really hard or hit really hard in the back of my head to leave a hole that matched the size of a crowbar in my SUV. Shoved in the back of my SUV in a akward position that cuts my circulation off, all windows up and tinted.After 13 years, I still can't feel my skin. I had lost all of my muscles in my arms, hands, fingers and shoulders. I looked horrible. The doctors had my left leg lifted up on a wedge, wound vac in my leg to keep the liquids out, complete kidney failure, dialysis and many blood transfusions were keeping me alive through about 11 surgeries throughout the month. I was recovering, believe it or not. I was brought back from the dead after I was starting to decompose and disposed of. Nobody cared that my life was slipping away and I was so close to being gone forever. How in the hell could anyone even consider that I was able to do that to myself and never report it? What I had to say was ignored and everyone created a story as if I was never there.