The Love I Couldn’t Let Go

Chapter One Benny never imagined that a simple conversation online in 2023 would become the beginning of a story she would spend years trying to understand. At first, Alexis was just someone she enjoyed talking to. There was something easy about their conversations, something that made the distance between them feel smaller. Alexis lived in Milton Keynes United Kingdom, while Benny lived in Boston Massachusetts USA. They talked for hours about their lives, their dreams, their fears, and the little things that somehow became important because they were sharing them with each other. Somewhere between those conversations and the late night calls they both developed feelings for each other. It was bound to happen but at the same time unplanned on Benny’s end. Alexis aired his feelings out and made his intentions of wanting something more and long term. Slowly Alexis became the person wanted to tell things to. The person she looked forward to hearing from. The person who could change her mood with a simple message. Within a few months, their connection grew into something deeper, and they started dating. For Benny, it felt real. When she gave someone her heart, she didn’t do it halfway. She believed in commitment, in building something with someone, in choosing each other even when things became difficult. That was why it hurt when she started noticing things she couldn’t ignore. Alexis had made plans to visit Benny in Boston before the Christmas holidays, because he was from Boston but he was studying business administration in the University of Bedfordshire. 2months later it was September 10th now Alexis was done with his final exams and decided to surprise Benny without informing her he was coming back home to Boston. He texted her one day and said where is your house I am on my way surprisingly she told him, she was nervous she had different thoughts running through her mind because she wasn’t sure why he asked her that. Approximately 3hours later he showed up outside of her house she was so happy and excited he looked good online but even better in person. Benny was smitten by his presence he was 6ft1 tall good looking handsome with curly hairs. She immediately ran to hug him tightly finally they get to be together after all these months texting online. They spent so much time together, Benny stayed over at his place for few days he was so sweet , he made her breakfast in bed he was so loving towards her. Days passed things started to feel off, Benny had gone back to her house when she calls or texts he makes up excuses like he was busy with friends or he didn’t see the calls. There were moments when his actions didn’t match his words. Moments that made her question where she stood in his life, things began to change so fast. Benny began to notice the attention he gave to other women and the things he tried to hide. She knew, deep down she knew. But love has a way of making people hold on to things they should sometimes release. Benny kept hoping things would go back to the way it used to be. She decided to focus on the good parts of him the moments when he made her laugh, the conversations where she felt understood, the memories they created together. She loved him wholeheartedly and that love made leaving impossible. Even the days she felt hurt, and felt the love was one sided because other woman appeared in the picture. She still wanted things to work. There were times she saw him , times she pulled away. Times she refused intimacy because her heart was carrying emotions she didn’t know how to explain. She wasn’t trying to punish him she thought he’ll realize she was hurting and there was a breach in his actions towards their relationship. The truth was she still wanted him in the midst of everything going on. She would still decide to love him, spend time with him with the fear of not wanting to push him into the arms of other ladies. But probably she was wrong, weeks went by, even months and they kept going on like this, few times she had tried to communicate her feelings to him and make him see where things are going wrong. He would reassure her of his feelings and try to dismiss other things, he knew she loved hearing he loved her. One day he went to see his parents and childhood friends, he spent a week over there at his parent’s house. When he got back, He came to pick Benny at her house and said he wanted to spend time with her he missed her and she said she missed him too then they drove to his house. While trying to unpack and arrange his clothes something fell out of his luggage “Protective” Benny’s heart dropped quickly seeing that, immediately Alexis tried to sweet talk her out of it, but she refused because having that in his luggage meant he was with another lady. She walked out of his presence it was really late past midnight she couldn’t go back home. She decided to sleep it was an awkward tension she didn’t speak to him. He tried talking to her she refused he later showered and went to lay beside her on the bed, he placed is hands around her, but she removed it he whispered in her ears “are you still upset about what you saw it’s not mine” that made her angrier cause he just made up another lie. She ignored they both went to bed not speaking and distant from each other on the bed. Benny closed her eyes, as tears rolled down her cheeks trying to believe there was still an explanation. She felt it deep down something had changed between them, and she had no idea how much this moment would shape the story of their love.