Compelled

17. It isn't about you anymore.

It was just after four when I returned back to Violets room. She was pretty much back to normal aside from the off and on chest pains that's she insisted were mild. She hasn't changed much and I was sure the strain from all of this was the reason behind the tired look on her face.

Claire was seated on the arm chair to the side from her. She hasn't left since the morning and made sure to inquire about the reason and result behind every test we've had to run. She was rather worried and I didn't blame her. Claire always had kind things to say about her mother and having spent some time staying with Violet myself, I knew she was a good mother and a caring woman.

Much to my relief she didn't mention anything about anything just yet but that couldn't be too far off and it was quiet inevitable. Sooner or later she'd speak about him and I'd have to cope with the waves of memories that would flood back.

From the second I saw her, the guilt clouded my mind and it never quiet went away. She was being deprived of spending time with her own grandchild that she didn't even know she had. My decision was made to tell her but I just didn't know when and how plus I didn't want to say it and then regret having the secret out.

"Scarlett, dear, you've been standing there for a long while. Come in, will you? Maybe you can take my daughter home since she won't leave no matter how much I insist." Her voice was calm and collected and she sounded nothing like a woman with a heart problem. I let out a small nod and entered the room.

"I was just heading home. Thought I'd check up on you before I leave just to make sure you're comfortable and okay." Violets brown eyes brimmed with warmth and appreciation.

Claire smiled as well and usually I'd brush it of with its all a part of the job but in this case, it wasn't. I needed to make she was okay and survived.

"I'm perfectly perfect." She said brightly even thought she knew she wasn't. We all did but she seemed really adamant to convince Claire that she was. "Now, you get home. Liam surely has homework he'd need help with and little Rosie must miss you, Claire." Claire realised that her mother was right and she should get going. She let out a sigh then rose to her feet and leaned down to Violet. Claire kissed her cheek softly then promised to come back tomorrow.

We just reached the door when Violet spoke. "It's good to see you again, Scarlett." I couldn't say much since Claire's eyes widened so I just nodded and we both left.

I realised two things as we walked in silence towards my car. One, Claire was coming home with me since she arrived with the ambulance. Two, I was trapped and would have to provide the most vague explanation possible.

We buckled up and soon the road was fleeting beneath us. Much to my advantage the radio was on making the silence bearable. I could almost hear Claire trying to put the pieces together and when she failed, she cleared her throat and I mentally groaned.

"So, how does my mother know you?" She voiced the question no sooner than I realised Claire was Sofia's aunt. Her goddamn aunt and I didn't even know it.

I shook myself out of the outrage building up towards myself. "She was one of my patients before I moved here." My shoulders relaxed when I figured that was as vague as things could get. "She suffered a cardiac arrest like this one." I added gently and she nodded but she still wasn't satisfied.

Her hands were fumbling in her lap, twisting and turning until they stopped. "You're Dan Miller's daughter!" She said loudly, surprised yet relieved to have finally put the pieces together. "That's how she knows you. You stayed with her for months." She added and I just nodded hoping this didn't lead anywhere near-

"So, you've met my brother Justin, I'm sure." Her voice became all match maker like and I wanted to laugh at how ironic it was that all the time she spoke about introducing me to her brother, I had his baby.

"Yeah, I have. He actually helped my family when we needed it." I diverted the topic to something more central and she took the bait.

Her voice became proud and warm. "He is the compassionate type. After two sisters, I'm not surprised." So there's more to the family. It was overwhelming and quiet frankly daunting knowing that it wasn't just him and Violet only to tell but two more people who'd need an explanation.

Ever since I had met Claire it was always a pleasure and joy being with here but under these circumstances, my relief couldn't be greater when I finally spotted our stop. She slung her black bag over her shoulder and unbuckled.

"Thank you so much, Scarlett." She said with a smile and deep appreciation in her eyes. "If you need any help with the little ones birthday party, don't hesitate to call me." I looked at her for a moment and processed her selfless words. Claire was a busy woman with two kids and now the worry of her mother added to that but here she was, still generously offering her assistance.

"Thank you, Claire. It means a lot." She nodded then walked of into the well kept driveway of her house.

The sky's brightness was fast fading now with only the last faint rays of the sun visible. All I needed was a hot shower and my Sofi.

When I let myself into the house It was quiet for a mere second until Sofi, who was seated with my mother on the carpet, spotted me and then it was all squeals and rapid crawling until we met halfway across the sitting room. I bent down and swooped her up for a hug and she wiggled her bottom like she always did when I got home from work.

She moved away and flashed me a smile displaying her perfect baby teeth proudly. I ran a hand through her deep brown hair. "I missed you today, baby." The brown eyes lit up and then she babbled on probably telling me about her day and I'd pretend I understood like everyday.

I made an early start to the friday morning and took advantage of the time I had since Sofia was asleep and I usually had Friday off in addition to the weekend unless some matter of urgency demanded otherwise. Her birthday would be this week and I still needed to find table rentals since that seemed more sensible than investing in a few.

Liana was big on birthday cakes so she took that over which was a huge relief for me. All the other party stuff was already sorted and soon we'd be ready to have a party. Ever since the party planning started it always overwhelmed me to think that my little baby was growing up. The past year truly went by in a flash and soon she'd be walking and running and starting pre-school and before I know it, she'd be going to prom.

I got myself out of my over thinking when the guy at the catering company answered. It wasn't long before I stated what I needed and the assistant helpfully sorted it out. I would receive a delivery by late tomorrow afternoon.

Having sorted that out, I made my way into the kitchen and fixed some fresh coffee to kick start the day. It was sunny outside and I really wanted to take Sofi out on a picnic to the park that wasn't too far from here. It was actually more of a neighborhood park and it was well kept. Maybe Claire would join us with her little one.

A knock sounded at the door which I neared to open and for some reason seeing Claire there wasn't surprising at all. I think after one year, we'd got used to just pitching up at each other's house. She was all dressed in a baby blue jeans and a yellow cotton top which brought out her blue eyes. Claire didn't inherit the all brown features besides the hair.

"Morning, Scarlett." Her voice was as bright as she could attempt but it was clear that she was exhausted from the dark circles under her eyes and the over all look of worry etched her face.

"Good morning, Claire." I said with a small smile before narrowing my eyes at her. "Is everything alright?" She nodded weakly and I moved from the door allowing her to come in. I led her into the kitchen and sat on one of the chairs along the breakfast nook and she did the same.

I didn't get anything out because Claire buried her face into her hands before dragging them across and finally knotting them in her lap. "The hospital called." Her voice was shakey so I grasped her hand and held it firmly.

"She's going to need a heart surgery. She has a fifty-fifty chance of survival and I'm terrified." I frowned at the news but if Violet needed heart surgery that meant Greg was on the case and he was thee best cardio thoracic surgeon in the hospital. I took in Claire's state of heart wrenching worry and I was sure she came to get assurance on the abilities of the surgeon.

"Oh Claire, Greg Simmons is the best of the best. Your mother will be in good hands." Her shoulders relaxed slightly but not quiet all the way. She turned in her seat to face me fully, her scared gaze focused on mine.

"Promise me you'll be in that surgery. Please, Scarlett." That could easily be arranged with little to no difficulty so I nodded and her shoulders relaxed. I was kind of disappointed that her mother, Sofia's grandmother, wouldn't be here for her birthday. I mean sure she didn't know that but her being here would have sort of eased my conscience.

The coffee machine was done brewing so I got out two cups and poured the dark liquid into them. I frowned for a moment recalling that the OR was occupied until next week. "Uhm, when exactly will she be taken in for surgery?" I asked as I handed her the mug which she took.

"Next week Thursday. Eleven thirty." I nodded making a mental note of the time and date. "She'll be with me until Wednesday night." They usually prepped patients from the night before so that made sense.

I took a sip of my coffee before putting forward an invite. "Your mother is most welcome to come for the party." I said trying to seem polite and not like someone whose the mother of her niece.

Claire instantly smiled. "That's why I asked for an extra invite. Been planning on bringing her along since I knew she was coming here."

A squeal made me deposit my cup onto the counter before I leapt into the room to find a groggy Sofi in the middle of the bed. I picked her up and she sleepily rested her head on my shoulder. I emerged from the room and Claire's gaze assessed Sofi like she used to when I just moved here. It stopped after that but today, she looked at her like she did then. It wasn't a nasty look but more of a curious assessment.

I expelled the thought that she had, in fact, somehow connected the dots but relaxed when the scrutinizing gaze turned soft and unsuspecting.

"So I'm planning on taking this little one to the park later. Do you think you could join us?" She pursed her lips for a moment scanning mentally through her schedule before smiling.

"I would love to. Let me pick my mother up and I'll meet you there."  She said then brought the mug to her lips.

Sofia was no longer groggy anymore as she lifted her head from my shoulder and looked at me with bright eyes. Claire caught her attention when she set her mug down into the counter and Sofi leaned into me shyly when Claire smiled at her with a little wave and too long after did the same assessing look laced the adoring look in her eyes.

She noticed the frown that was marring my forehead and immediately dropped the look. I swallowed nervously with all the possible reasons as to why she looked at her like that. Almost as if she knew but just needed the smallest of confirmation. It had stopped for a long while but ever since Violet mentioned my stayed with them, the curios looks returned again.

It wasn't difficult to see that she looked so much like him. She inherited the brown hair and same eye color that seemed to be a family trait.

The silence that I didn't realize turned awkward since I returned back to the room and Claire just let out a small smile. "I better get going." She started off straitening herself and smoothing out her yellow top. "Thank you, Scarlett, for everything." Claire said and working seconds she was out the door.

I let out a deep breath and turned to Sofi who seemed surprisingly quiet. I nuzzled her hair and she giggled. "Erbiiio um um eeka um um." She frowned, something else that made her look more like him, while expressing her need for food. 'Um um' was yum yum which meant food in her baby language.

I laughed at her seriousness but then placed her onto her feeding chair and got started on heating up some milk for her cereal which was her favorite next to eggs.

It was when I had settled in next to Sofi with her cereal did my mother walk in from the front door. She usually went out to enjoy the mornings fresh air on some days and on others she just enjoyed a cup of coffee in the spacious back yard.

She slowly neared Sofi then placed a kiss onto her head before heading to the coffee machine. She was still in her pajamas that was hidden behind a thin long shawl. I frowned at her unusual quietness but I couldn't question her yet since Sofia was squealing at my pause and her lack of breakfast.

I spooned the warm cereal into her mouth and she clapped with every mouth full she took. It was a relief that she didn't demand her own spoon like some days since that only left a huge mess with most of it on the floor and very little in her tummy.

It was when I fed Sofia what must have been her fifth spoonful did my mother speak. "Violet Pearson is Claire's mother." I stopped, spoon mid air, at her words of astonishment laced with worry. I sighed knowing this is would be another difficult conversation. It didn't take long to realize she must've caught Claire while she was leaving and discovered all of this.

I resumed feeding the impatient Sofi before letting out a casual "yes, she is." And my mother turned abruptly, her eyes narrowed and her lips pursed. She was looking at me as if I was missing out on something and was plain dumb.

When I didn't say anything she scoffed. "Claire is her aunt! And Violet, her grandmother." She snapped impatiently unable to tolerate what she assumed was oblivion. "They have the right to know, Scarlett." Her voice dropped a notch lower as she continued. "He has the right to know and you should have told him the second you found out." I groaned at the repetition of this conversation but I had seen it coming.

I took in a deep breath. "Mom, I'm not ready to tell them yet. It could complicate things and lead to issues that I don't need." She huffed at my words and looked to the ceiling before sharpening her gaze at me.

"It isn't about you anymore, Scarlett. Don't you see?" She asked seriously as if I truly was not seeing something. "You're running out of time and by the time you choose to let the cat out of the bag, it'll be too late." Her words rang in my ears but I shook them away refusing to hear the truth in her words.

I wanted to tell her that I had called him, twice, but he didn't answer and that was all I was willing to do for now but I knew it was a weak excuse and she'd call me out for it.

"You'd mentioned once that he's really fond and close to his mother. Do you honestly think he's going to let her have heart surgery without at least showing up here?" For the second time this week, I was dumbstruck. First, when the mother of Claire was revealed to me and second, was now at my inability to have thought of that.

I hated having to think that. To imagine that the situation could be smooth or end up a hell hole and everything had been so good since we moved here that I didn't want to disrupt that but certain things were out of my control.

My mother didn't wait for me to respond but seemed rather satisfied at my baffled look and stormed out the kitchen and to the back yard with her coffee mug in her hand.

I could hide if he ever showed up. Maybe take my annual holiday a little earlier than usual but that would be stupid and cowardly. Maybe it wouldn't even come to havoc and he would probably not want to acknowledge her as his and was just peachy with his bachelor, sleep with a different woman each night, life that he wouldn't want to complicate his life either. That would work out perfectly fine for me but as I looked down at her little form beside me, a spitting image of her father, I recalled my mother's words. It wasn't about me anymore.

It was around noon when all hopes for going to the park were crashed as the rain came pouring down from the grey clouds. Claire had called to say that she wouldn't make it an hour ago since they were doing one more check up before her mother was discharged. So instead, Sofia and I watched Tangled which was her favorite animation.

Liana dropped by in the middle of the movie and squealed when she saw what we were watching since it was her all time favorite too. I laughed at her enthusiasm as she wiggled under the blanket and squeezed Sofi in a hug.

"Where's your Mom?" Liana asked and immediately knew something was wrong when I groaned. "She's on your case again." She stated with a confused look.

"Yep but it was more serious today." Liana's forehead creased not understanding why so I explained to her. "Violet Pearson is Claire's mother." That was all I had to say for her eyes to widen and mouth to drop open. I scoffed at her reaction but she didn't care.

"You're lying." She said in denial followed by laughter. "Oh my word! Scarlett, you're serious." I watched her with a straight face as her brain malfunctioned from this information. When she finally let it sink in her eyes widened. "Claire is Sofia's aunt." I rolled my eyes thinking if I had a penny for the amount of times I've said, thought and heard that sentence, I'd have enough to buy me some earplugs to not hear it again.

I know it seems like I'm being bitter about it but I'm not. It's just that I could see the complications beginning to arise and I couldn't escape them. It was turning into a volcano and sooner or later, this situation was going to explode beyond what I could bare and I wasn't prepared for it.