Compelled

16. A child

One year, six months later.

It's fascinating yet oddly frightening how the course one often plans and what actually occurs are two different outcomes never possibly imaginable at one point in time. We'd never even fathom an event or outcome unless we were in it and it was a part of our lives.

Greece proved to be a success and although it took a few months to get used to things and adapt, it did prove to be rather delightful. It became home and so did it's people.

The big step was undeniably a great decision since it turned out to be fruitful and not only for me but Liana as well. We lived together initially but as we gradually made new aquaintances and got used to everything, I moved out from the apartment. Liana liked it there and so did I but it wasn't just me to worry about.

My mom showed up a few months after we settled. She was bruised and bloodied from the beating my dad administered to her. She's much alright now. Happy and content. Says she'll hold on to the good memories she has and let the bad ones go but she never forgave him and I was pleased with that. We don't speak about him anymore or at least we try not to.

I looked up at my mother who was in a merry mood as she looked at the soon-to-be one year old in her arm falling of to sleep. Sofia.

A months after we got here the morning sickness settled in and at first I assumed it to be a kind of bug but my period was late and a pregnancy test resolved the confusion.

She bore a striking resemblance to her father with the same thick brown hair and eyes. She had his smile which never failed to astonish me each time I saw it. All in all, she was perfect.

"Let me put her down then we can have lunch." My mother nodded at my suggestion and gently handed her to me. I never imagined loving anyone this much. The moment I saw her, the eight hours of agonising labor faded away because she was so worth it.

The house we moved in to wasn't extravagantly big but it was spacious and well kept with three bedrooms and since it was located in a more reserved almost country side area, the view was to die for.

I pushed open the door and gently placed her onto the bed that we shared since she came home. She was my cuddle buddy on occasions and at times she just hated the embrace.

"Mama. Mama." She squealed still asleep so I had to lay beside her and pat her until she calmed down and dozed off again. I kissed her cheek softly then covered her with a blanket and left.

I found my mother no longer where I left her but out on the little patio where lunch was set. Settling across from her I noticed an all too familiar look and the dread settled within me for what was coming.

My mother's piercing green eyes stared at me seriously. "Sofi is going to be one soon, Scarlett." I took a sip of the drink already poured out for me as she spoke. "Don't you think it's about time you gave Justin a call to tell him. He has the right to know." I groaned and her face flashed with disapproval. I hated having this conversation and if it wasn't her then Liana was on my case.

It made me angry but not towards them. The anger was directed to myself because I was scared that he'd take her away and really, that was the last thing I wanted to deal with. His life was perfectly fine and he did move on smoothly. Every weeks news issue and major events was sure to portray him along with a different female most of the time, each one prettier than the next. I didn't expect him to sulk all his life and I was okay with it. He was okay without knowing and my life will be hell if he knew.

I sighed, calming myself down. "He doesn't need to know, Mom. It wouldn't change anything and besides, I can take care of her perfectly well." She scoffed then shook her head in disbelief.

The soft spot my mother had for him never went away. I knew he has the right to know and deciding what happened would be his decision just as long as he knew. However, I was not ready to accept any changes that may happen should he know. A custody battle wasn't something I wanted to risk having and so long as he stays oblivious, that would no longer be a concern. The man was half way across the world from me and I would possibly never meet him again.

I always found it ironic that he ended up having the two things he didn't want. A woman that loved him and a child. But that only validated my decision of silence. He didn't want this so it wouldn't make any difference to him.

My mother's eyes filled with defeat like it always did when we had this discussion and I knew that this matter would be dormant for a few days until she brought it up again. It was a continuous pattern since my fifth month of pregnancy. She just felt that he should know about his child and I understood that but I couldn't make her understand my side of it.

We ate in silence after that and once we were done, I cleared the little table. My mother settled back onto the couch inside that she was seated in before we had lunch since the clouds seemed to be turning an ominous greyish tinge.

I was in the motion of drying my hands when the door bell got my attention. Hastily opening the door, I smiled delighted to see Claire who was my next door neighbor. She was friendly since the week we moved it, bringing in a batch of homemade cookies as a welcome. Claire was around my height with brown hair and striking blue eyes that stood out beautifully against her fair skin. She's a mother of two and, from what I've seen, happy married to Alex Crawford.

Her eldest was a boy who was around nine while her daughter was just a month older than Sofia. Claire helped me a lot with being a new mother constantly advising me and guiding me especially when Sofi caught the cold. I would sometimes see Claire observe her with a look in her eye that I could comprehend but then she'd shake her head lightly like she was expelling a niggling thought. I was greatful for her, however, since this was new to me and besides, she was a good friend now.

"Didn't see you all day today. Have you realised I'm a total annoyance and tried hiding?" I joked but narrowed my eyes at her when she nodded. Claire let out a giggle before handing me a little container that felt just the slighted bit warm.

"I have been a busy baker today." She said with a huff as she followed me in. "My mother will be arriving sometime today to stay for a few months. She misses the kids and with Alex and his work, we just couldn't go down to spend time with her." Claire's mother stayed a few plane rides away and as for her father, he had passed away.

I nodded noticing the excitement brimming in her eyes and the joy in her voice. "Be sure to bring her to visit me. I bet we'd get along just fine and I certainly could use the company even if it is for a limited time." My mother interjected with a smile and Claire agreed.

"Hey Scarlett, is it okay if I bring two more people to Sofia's birthday party this month?" Claire's hesitant voice got me frowning and I looked up only to see embarassment on her face.

She knew me better than to even ask but I guess she was doing the proper thing. So I smiled and nodded. "Oh Claire, you don't even need to ask such a thing." Her shoulders relaxed but then she smirked leaning her hip against the kitchen counter.

"I can introduce you to my brother." I groaned before she could even finish and rolled my eyes. It wasn't a serious thing anymore. It was more of a teasing playful thing she did just to get on my nerves.

It wasn't long after she had left and Liana pulled up professionally dressed in a black pencil skirt, an emerald green top and her blazer draped across her forearm. "Good evening Scarlett. Mrs Miller." She greeted then scanned the room as my mother smiled at her.

"Where is little Sofi?" She inquired before plopping down on the couch beside me. She let out a sigh of exhaustion from work. Liana left the runways and put her degree in business to good use. She started from the bottom in the firm that she was employed at and she certainly worked her a*s off. Soon after that, promotioms came banging on her door.

"She's asleep." Liana pouted in disappointment. She really was attached to Sofia from the start and Sofi was quiet fond of her too.

Liana pulled her now bare feet under her and turned to face me. "Can you believe it already been a year since that tornado came into our lives?" Liana said with a smile of adoration. She called Sofi a tornado at times because when she got grumpy she made everyone grumpy. "She really does take after her father." She added with a damper to her voice. Here we go.

"Yes, she does." My voice was flat and I couldn't help it. I figured maybe if I didn't give the topic attention it wouldn't progress.

"Sooner or later he has to know. You have to tell him, Scarlett." And I was wrong. Letting out a frustrated sigh and ignoring the scoff that came from my mother, I shut my eyes for a moment. My mother rose from her chair and disappeared towards the passage that lead to her room.

"He never did want a child, Lee. Telling him would only complicate both our lives." She stared blankly at me while I developed a good enough justification but no matter what I would tell her, her eyes show their disapproval. "You've seen the tabloids. The man has moved on and I don't want my child caught up in his inappropriate escapades."

Liana pursed her lips but didn't blink. "She's his kid, too." I shot her a look. "Fine, don't tell him then but one day he'll find out. Sooner or later, he will and he'll come for her and you won't have any ground to stand on because you'd left him in the dark." I swallowed as her words rang on my ears, repeating itself wrapped around the fear of that possibility.

After Liana had left, what she had said tortured my mind even now as I lay in bed beside the being that was half me and half him. So, I stared at the device that rested on my bedside for the fifteenth time and finally took it in my hands. My heart was beating rapidly as it rang and I didn't even know what I was going to say to him.

Maybe I could say, hey, remember me? Yeah, we have a child. Or, Hi, it's me, Scarlett. You know the one whose a*s you've saved way too many times.

I frowned as it rang, the sound becomimg monotonous to my ears, then went straight to voicemail so I hung up and discarded the mobile device where it was two minutes ago. Well, at least I did try.

And I tried again the next morning but still no answer. A part of me was relieved that I wouldn't have to go through the torturous conversation of explanation and I could say I did, at the very least, try. But It was a weight on my shoulders that didn't go away.

I sighed then turned towards my sleeping Sofia. Her eyes were lightly closed, her slightly chubby cheeks felt warm as I ran my hand across them. She was beautiful and I wouldn't change anything about her. A smile crept up my cheeks when the pout on her lips deepened. Leaning down and placing a soft kiss on her head, I then made my way to the bathroom to get ready for the day.

Just when I was done dressing, the familiar squeal got my attention away from the mirror and onto the now moving bed sheet. "Good morning, Sofi." I settled into the edge of the bed and a little away from her. It annoyed her at times because then she'd have to crawl across to reach me but she always hugged me when she did.

She kneeled when her small frame was in front of me then yawned, swaying a little sleepily. Swooping her up into my arms, her cheek rested against my shoulder while her arms wrapped around my neck. We stayed like that for minutes and it always was the best start to my day, everyday.

When she was awake enough, we had breakfast together and after giving her the much loved bubble bath, dressed her just in time for my mother to swoop her up into her arms.

It was just before ten when I reached the hospital that wasn't too far from where we lived. The chief of Greek Grace had accepted my transfer and facilitated my route to adapting in here. It was much larger than the medical centre that I started out in but that only made the place more breathable.

I passed by the receptionist whose name was Irene and we exchanged a nod of greeting. The people here were rather friendly and warm and I often got along with most of them.

"You have a heart surgery today and we will be joining in along with you." The voice of the young male hit me the second I stepped off the elevator and onto the main floor. Ethan was his name. The blonde, grey boy was a part of the four interns that were assigned to me this year.

The excited was radiating from all of them. "I got you a cappuccino, Dr Miller." Said the red head Miranda with a perky smile on her face. She and Chloe, who was standing behind Miranda, were pretty competitive with each other.

I took the warm cup from her then looked to the second male in the group. "What? No chocolates today?" Scott shrugged his shoulders with a sheepish grin on his face.

Looking away from the Scott and fixing my attention on all of them, trying to ignore their enthusiastic expressions, I let out a breath. "Surgery is at eleven and until then I don't want to see either of you guys." They didn't acknowledge my words, although they were always playful, the two girls squealed while Scott and Ethan high fived for being able to all actually scrub in.

It would be their first participating open heart surgery so I understood the excitement. The four of them scurried away and out of sight. I relaxed my shoulders, releasing the pressure of having to be a teacher. It just meant I had to be at the top of my game at all times.

Sipping on the warm liquid that Miranda got me, I found the schedule board and scanned through it. Making a mental note that I had the surgery at eleven in OR two and assisting a fellow doctor with a tumor removal in the afternoon when the all too familiar figure stood next to me.

Raina. She reminded me so much of Jenna. The easy going demeanor, the relaxed smiles that were plenty and body composure. I mentioned it to Jenna and she laughed saying no one would be quiet like her and that was true.

"Interns trying to kiss up to you today too, huh." She said hinting to the cup in my hand. It was more a statement than a question and I scoffed, nodding.

I turned to face her seeing that she was already in her nurses uniform. "Yeah, they're really determined." She  agreed then asked me about Sofia to which I replied that she was great and proceeded to forward an invite for the birthday party since she had a baby only six months older than Sofi and they got along just fine.

Raina barely got another word out since the bellowing and frantic voice calling my name echoed through the quiet floor. Frowning and locating the owner of the voice, I gasped seeing Claire. Her face was streaming with tears, her nose was red and she was panicking. I ran over to her and placed my hands on either of her bare arms that were surprisingly cold.

"You.. You have t-to help h-h-her, Scarlett. Please. P-please help her." I didn't even have time to ask who she was talking about since my pager started beeping followed by Scott rushing towards me.

His face was strained. "Cardiac arrest. Miranda and Ethan are seeing to her but you need to check her out." I looked at Claire asking silently of that was who she's here for and she nodded rapidly, her small frame shaking.

"It's my mother." I heard Claire say behind me as Scott and I hastily rushed towards the room. Miranda had a focused frown marring her forehead and Ethan was keeping an eye on the monitors that seemed to depict a steady heartbeat. Everything seemed okay in here.

"Her heart was still beating when we got her. Checked her ABCDE, calmed her down and placed the oxygen mask on her and she calmed down." Ethan said while still assessing the monitor. In my mind, I was commending these two for the good work but I was too frozen to convey my approval since I realised who, exactly, was asleep on that bed.

"Patients name is Ms Violet-" Miranda said and waited for her to continue and give me the opposite surname than the one I was so sure it was. "Second name, Pearson." She paused before continuing. "Mrs Crawford's mother."