Symphony of Sorrow

This may come as a shock to some, but I didn’t see this coming. Fate is funny like that. I could foresee the weather for the next six months, whether the crops would be plentiful, or who wouldn’t survive to see another new moon. I had spent my entire life seeing things before they came to pass, yet I was blindsided when it came to matters of my own heart. Magic and its loopholes aren’t particularly an easy subject to master, so I don’t fault myself too much. But the fact remains the same, I did not see this coming. I should have turned back when I realized what fate had in store for me. I could have avoided an undeniable heartbreak. But then I wouldn’t have met him and that would have been the worst imaginable fate there was. No, I wouldn’t change what happened. I don’t regret choosing him. I don’t regret choosing love. But don’t be fooled, this is no fairy tale romance. It is far from it. This is my story. My beautiful yet devastating tale of how a girl met a boy and changed the world forever. But first, we must go back to where it began. The unusually bitter night air crept over my body, wrapping its icy cold tendrils around every fiber of my being. I pulled the fur of my cloak tighter to my chest as I suppressed a shiver that ran down my spine. It wasn’t the chill that had my nerves on edge, but the feeling of dread that tickled at my conscience. I recognized it all too well. I forced myself to keep moving toward the fate that I was certain awaited me. I gripped the basket of herbs for Elder Raine tightly in my grasp as I made my way back through the tall grass of the meadow. I knew fully that she had sent me on a fool’s errand, her subtle way of trying to protect me for as long as she could. Elder Raine, a gentle soul with a dark past, was the only person who truly understood my plight. She and I were both cursed with the gift of sight, given only to those who had taken a life from their own bloodline. It was said to be the God’s way of punishment, and I would have to agree. It was a dreadful curse to live with, knowing the fate of those around you. They already loathed me for who I had taken from them, but knowing that I held their futures in my vault of untold whispers equally irked them. I was a nuisance, a stain to their impeccable reputation. I was the reminder of all they had once lost and what they soon feared to lose. Elder Raine was wise to hide her curse, but I was not afforded the same luxury. Our paths were much alike in many regards, yet different in others. She was a young girl when her mother fell ill. She watched as her mother suffered mercilessly with a disease that took everything but her mind. When her mother begged her to spare her any further suffering, she made a choice. The coven believed the disease had taken Raine’s mother, but I knew the truth. I admired her for her choice, but I envied her as well. My curse too was given for my mother, the loved and cherished high priestess of our coven, but I had been given no choice. My mother took her last breath as I took my first, and even the Gods believed that I was at fault. Thunder rumbled through the sky above with such force that the ground beneath my bare feet trembled, pulling me from my thoughts. I tried to silence the fear that crept over me, swallowing me as the darkness does the light, but it refused to waver. The light of the lanterns lit the night ahead of me as I approached the coven’s confining gates with a sense of dread weighing heavily upon me. I knew that I could no longer avoid the inevitable torment of the monster that would surely await my arrival, but I refused to show weakness. As the gates crept open, I forced my head high and straightened my shoulders, ready for the onslaught of hate-filled glares that I had no doubt awaited me. This was not my home, this was my prison, but I refused to allow them to see a broken girl that hated her own existence. No, instead they would see the daughter of the high priestess that refused to break despite every obstacle thrown her way. They would see that I was strong enough to handle whatever they did to me because I was a survivor. Because my mother gave her life to bring me into this world, and I had to believe there was a reason for that. I had to believe that she saw something they did not. I allowed myself a steadying breath before forcing myself forward. I found myself amid a group of the younger witches. In another life, I imagined I would have been someone they respected, but that was not the case in this one. I felt their piercing eyes as they looked at my tattered clothing with such disgust that they looked sickened. I heard their snide comments but couldn’t be bothered to respond. They knew nothing of who I was, and they weren’t significant enough to bother trying. I would not waste my time or energy on spoiled children. For eighteen miserable years, I had suffered. Yet nothing compared to the amount of damage my father had inflicted. My body was a roadmap of drunken nights of torment that he had bestowed upon me, but tonight would be worse. Tonight marked the anniversary of her death and the birth of his daughter. Tonight, he would be an unforgivable force of nature who was tormented by the loss of the only woman he had ever loved. I would be the one that felt that anger, resentment, and grief raging. But despite all of that, I longed for his love and acceptance. I longed for the man that I imagined my mother had loved. It was simply a fantasy that I allowed myself to hold on to; a sliver of hope in the night, to keep me from drowning in the misery that was my life. The flicker of lightning lit the darkened sky, startling me as I climbed the steps towards my impending doom. I cursed under my breath, trying to remind myself that I was stronger than I felt at this moment. He couldn’t break me any more than I already was, I promised myself. But I knew that was a lie. I knew he could because a part of me still had hope. And my father would rather die than allow me even an inkling of happiness. I steadied my trembling hands as I grasped the knob, turning it slowly, praying that he had fallen into a drunken stupor. The door creaked as I pushed it open as quietly as I could. I didn’t dare to even breathe as I crossed the threshold, but it was of no use. I heard his voice barely above a whisper as he took a long sip from the brown bottle of liquor, “Mara, why have you been hiding from me?” I hesitated, uncertain of how to answer his question. “Father, I didn’t want to disturb you is all.” His dark eyes looked saddened as he peered at me from across the room, “You know, you look just like her. You even have the same determined fire in your soul.” I swallowed, trying to settle the pit of fear in the depths of my stomach as I replied, “That is very kind of you to say.” He slid back from the table, the floor creaking beneath his weight, as he stumbled towards me. I winced as he raised his hand, but instead of the blow I was sure was coming, he gently stroked my face. I held my breath, afraid that any sudden movement would wake the beast that roamed within him. His voice trembled as he said, “She would be ashamed of me for what I have done. I wasn’t always this monster, you know?” My voice quivered despite my feeble efforts to steady it, “I know, Father. I know you loved her.” He lifted the liquor bottle to his lips as a stray tear made its way down his cheek. I felt a wave of pity for the broken man that stood before me. In this moment, I could see the existence of the man I imagined my mother had loved. I could see that he was just a broken creature who longed for the love of his life. But as I allowed my eyes to drift up to his face, I saw the flash of anger that I knew so well creep upon his face. “What have you done to me?” He said coldly as he grasped my long locks of hair between his fingers tightly. “Did you use your magic on me?” I yelped in pain as I tried desperately to escape his grasp. “No, Father. I would never!” “You made me see your mother in you! You are nothing compared to her! You stole her from me!” He bellowed as he dragged me by my hair towards the fireplace. “I did no such thing! Father, I beg of you, please don’t do this!” My pleas fell on deaf ears as he lifted me into the air before allowing his true self to emerge. “You are a curse on this coven, you don’t deserve to breathe the air that fills your lungs. I would be doing us all a favor if I just rid the world of your existence.” He spat with a hate-filled vengeance. “I wish you were never born!” Tears filled my eyes as his words settled upon me, but I fought to regain composure. “And my mother would hate who you have become!” I felt the blow of his fist land on my stomach, knocking the air from my lungs as he tossed me like a rag doll across the room. He stumbled towards me as he snarled, “You do not know what your mother would hate because you took her life!” I coughed as the air filled my lungs again, forcing myself to get up. “I did not choose this life, but she gave it to me.” He faltered as he stood before me, fighting the demons within him, as he forced himself to look at me. “Well, she was wrong. I needed her, not you!” I felt the sting of his words piercing my pride as I answered, “Well, you have me. So do what you must, but I will not beg of you to love me any longer!” I dropped to my knees and awaited the onslaught of fists reigning down upon me, but instead was met with a deafening silence. I forced myself to look at him. He took a step closer before he said in a small voice, “I can’t love you, Mara. You aren’t worthy of that.” Anger roared within me as I made myself stand, “You don’t know what I am worthy of because you’ve never given me a chance!” As I looked at the sad excuse of a father, that I had been given, I allowed a sigh to escape. “Go to bed, Father, you’re drunk.” He snarled as he sauntered towards me with anger roaring within him, “You will not speak to your father this way!” My magic pulsed beneath my fingertips as fear gripped me, but I knew it was of no use. I couldn’t bring myself to harm him. I couldn’t be responsible for the death of both of my parents. But as I braced myself for the damage he was going to inflict, fate intervened. He lost his balance in his drunken state and fell, hitting the table’s edge harshly. I waited on bated breath for him to rise back up and continue his assault, but silence followed. . I gulped deep bursts of air as the reality of the situation settled upon me. Gathering my thoughts, I hurried to his side. His head lay at an odd angle, with blood seeping from the wound. I couldn’t tell if he was still breathing, so I hesitantly laid my head against his chest. Uncertainty of whether I would be relieved or even more shattered if I heard nothing. I heard the faintest of breaths just as I lost hope, but then circumstance settled upon me. He would blame me for this mishap. I glanced around the room, expecting some miraculous answer to my predicament when I heard the door creak open. I quickly stumbled to my feet, knowing the coven would never understand. Elder Raine’s knowing hazel eyes found mine as she whispered, “You must go to the forest. I will take care of this, and you will return tomorrow. He won’t remember this, but you must not be here tonight when he wakes. I will tell him I sent you to the village. Now, go!” I was foolish to believe that running would solve anything. However, it was the beginning of a beautiful ending that I never thought I could have, and it was worth every bit of darkness I had endured. Because sometimes you must endure the night to truly appreciate the light.