Daddy's Princess

Rule Or Not

I sat on the lid above of toilet bowl, still fighting off tears that had always defeated me so easily in his presence as he's sitting on the edge of the tub, waiting for the warm water to fill up while the scent of milk fills the bathroom as he pours it down the water.

Daddy came to get me as fast as he can when he found out where I was via the location of the phone. And when he got me out of that place. Throughout the ride, he didn't say a word while I sob on the passenger seat.

I know he thinks Damon took advantage of me because I looked the part; my shirt was torn and I have a scrape on my arm.

"I'm sorry for breaking your rules, daddy, " I cried, hiding my face behind hands as I sat there, feeling like my body's shrinking out of shame.

I heard him turned the faucet closed then felt him and approached me and removed the coat hanging on my shoulders.

"Don't think about it right now, princess... We need to clean you up so you can rest immediately." He muttered softly as he leaned towards me before kissing the back of my hand, but I couldn't even move.

"Baby girl, you also need to help me here. Please, let me help you take a bath okay?" He whispered, resting his forehead behind my hand.

"I'm so sorry, daddy..." I sobbed before quickly wrapping my arms around his neck.

"We'll be fine, baby... I'm not upset. I just want you to rest for now..." He then unhooks my bra and unzips my skirt, pulling those off my body until I'm completely naked.

He then carries me carefully and puts me in the warm, milky water.

"Is the water too warm?" He asked, smiling softly and I shook my head in response while trying to wipe my own tears with the back of my hand.

"Don't hold back, princess... just cry it out, I won't leave you until you're feeling better." He muttered which made me cry even more.

"I'm sorry..." I sobbed.

"If you're worried about breaking a rule, it's fine. I'm letting it slide... I'm more worried about you."

How can I tell him that I wasn't abused, that it wasn't what he thought it is, that I let it happen, that half of me wanted Damon and the other half wanted him?

But my continued apologies and pleading had him asking for the truth. 

"You need to be honest with me... What were you thinking? Why did you go to him?" He asked, tone calm and soft while he gently caresses my cheek. I immediately held his hand and kept it in my cheek, trying to catch my breath so I could speak.

"I was thinking I need to end things with him properly... I was told that he won't be able to move on if I don't talk to him and I thought she's right. I thought that I needed to do that today since our engagement party will be in 3 days, I thought it'd be best if I do that today."

"She? Who told you? Does she know that you're being abused by that guy?"

I shook my head in response.

He then sighed out loud while wiping the strands of hair away from my face.

"I also think she's right... you both need to talk but you could've waited. He's still hurting and upset, you should've waited until he's calm. And most importantly, you shouldn't be alone with him. You're the only one who knows how he is, princess... you should've thought it through before you acted."

He's right...

Rule or not, I should've asked daddy first.

I should've just waited.

That's the right thing to do and he deserves to know what I wanted to do before I acted it out.

"I'm sorry..." I apologized again. My tears were endless despite he continues to comfort me.

My conscience is torturing me right now.

He's too good to me, too gentle, too kind.

He doesn't deserve this.

He deserves to know what I truly did.

"You're apologizing too much, baby..." he said then leaned towards me and kisses my forehead.

He then stood from his seat on the bathroom floor beside the tub and unexpectedly joins me in the tub, still fully clothed, soaking himself behind me.

"I'll be able to protect you as long as you tell me everything... I'm not gonna forbid you on anything you want to do as long as I think you won't be in danger, that you're safe. You just have to put your trust in me, princess." He embraced me tightly from behind and I hold onto his forearms while crying my heart out.

I need to tell him.

Rule or not, I have to tell him what really happened.

He deserves the truth

"Adam..." I muttered, crying his name. I wanna talk to him as his equal and not his princess.

"Yes, Mia..."

"I'm sorry...." I apologized again.

"It's okay, Mia, you don't need to worry about it."

I turned sideways so I could look at him. He looks back at me with a gentle expression and a soft smile but I could read how hurt he is just by looking at me.

"Adam... I intended to end our relationship so I could move on and fall for you without my past holding me back... I just wanted a closure..." I started before trailing off with my words as I tried to catch my breath again from crying.

He kisses my cheek then on the side of my left eye where tears fall.

"But... I wanted it..." I finally continued with the truth.

Right, that moment I felt him froze... he didn't move for a brief while, even his breath hitched, his head moving away from the kiss he had laid on me just so he could look at me in disbelief and utter confusion, uttering...

"What?"

"I... I wasn't abused at all... at first, I pleaded and asked him to stop but... but I ended up not putting up a fight."

He then leans back, completely letting me go; brows furrows, looking confused.

"What?" He asked once more.

"I willingly let him do it... I let him do it to me... and I responded..." I cried. He completely loosened his embrace and leaned back against the tub, looking upset and confused at the same time.

"I let him because... I kept thinking of you." I added.

"What?"

Suddenly, I felt scared.

Not because I am anticipating for him to get so angry and beat me up. My body's trembling again, a feeling so familiar.

But because I could see how disappointed he looked directly at me.

"Daddy... I'm sorry..." I retreated to calling him in that endearment once again in hopes that it would at least soften his heart.

He then shuts his eyes with brows furrowed tightly he turned his head to the side before breathing deeply. When he opened his eyes, he completely tried his best to keep his gaze off me even if I held his shirt tightly

"You're saying you went there to officially break up with him, but you ended up letting him f**k you because you wanted him then you start thinking of me?..." he said bluntly but it's basically the truth.

And it hurts so much, seeing how he move away from me, his eyes avoiding, looking at me at the moment of my revelation.

"Daddy..." I called, already pleading since I know he's mad.

Who wouldn't be?

But I know and I trust he wouldn't hurt me like what my father and Damon do.

But I'm more terrified to think that the only person who cared and showed me gentleness will turn away from me.

"Stop..." he muttered.

"Rule or not, you're now with me... I took you in, I cared for you, I... even if I know you still love him, I trusted you won't do something that stupid because you're with me now. I trusted you, Mia..." he trailed off, hiding his eyes behind his hands.

"It doesn't matter anymore..." he then grabs the edge of the tub then stands up and steps out the tub.

"Daddy..." I called, pleading.

"You should've known that you'll lose the right to call me daddy before you f****d that guy. I know you still love him but that doesn't count as an excuse. I was willing to wait for you and I am willing to let you go if you couldn't accept me by then... And even if you said you're thinking of me... you chose to settle with your imagination instead of waiting for me. That doesn't absolve you from what you did."

He then went out and slammed the door.

I stayed in his bathroom for a few hours, soaked under the milk bath he prepared, crying my heart out and praying hard that all that happened this day was just a dream and that I would wake up inside my daddy's embrace.

Of course, that wouldn't happen.

I did what I did and it's already done.

I can only regret it now.  

Now that I've broken his trust and hurt him, there's nowhere else I could truly go and stay.

I covered myself in a bathrobe and went out only to find his bed empty.

I went outside the room, looking for him to apologize again when heard clinking of glasses. I walked slowly towards the bar in the kitchen and saw him drinking.

He quickly noticed where I was standing and crying at the same time. However, he glared at me.

"What did Damon do for you to keep coming back to him?" He asked.

"Is he that good of a lover?... I was holding myself back because I wanted to have you at the right time when you've completely healed. I don't wanna add another scar in your heart just because I got horny." He stated before chuckling.

I slowly walk towards him, tears still falling.

"Even if you seem to be all right, I was worried that you're just keeping the pain in. So I told myself to hold back. I wanna f**k you so bad every time I touch you! Damn it! I wanted you to heal first but you like it rough, don't you?" He then threw the glass on the kitchen floor, making me flinch and stop on my tracks.

"So while he's f*****g you, you're really imagining me f*****g you, huh?" He asked, chuckling.

"Is this my f*****g karma?" He muttered then rub his face with both his hands in frustration.

"Adam... I'm really sorry. I knew it was wrong-"

"DON'T f*****g TALK!" He growled out loud, making me flinch once again and bow my head down right away.

"I knew you still love him... and I f*****g thought you're falling in love with me even if it had only been a week... I f*****g thought wrong..."

I gasped as I lifted my head, I was about to open my mouth to tell him how I feel even if I knew he wouldn't be able to forgive me for what I've done.

I just need to let him know how I truly felt for him...

Even if we were together for only a short time...

"Just... go back to your room. I don't wanna hear your voice... I don't wanna see you right now." He muttered, looking away.

I nodded in response. I quickly ran to my room where I cried all night.

This feels worst than being beaten up.

I would've been beaten if he was like Damon or my father... 

Maybe, that's better than feeling like this. At least when I wake up in the morning, I wouldn't feel as guilty since they were able to take out their anger at me.

I hate this...

I hate myself now more than ever.

I don't know when I drifted to sleep but when I woke up in the morning, I saw him sleeping beside me with the strong scent of alcohol.

His hand was laying on the bed so I gently slide my hand under his hand while looking at his sleeping face.

I moved closer and kisses his hand, closing my eyes and letting tears escape once again. I started sobbing, trying to hold it back to avoid waking him up.

I truly regret what I did. I was so wrong but I'm not that thick-faced to stay here.

I cannot stay here anymore.

I think it's better for me to leave.

I couldn't bear the shame and guilt.

I gathered a few of my stuff and left quietly. I have nowhere else to go but to my father even if I knew very well what awaits me.

And as expected, when I told him I couldn't stay with Adam anymore, he immediately grabbed the hair and dragged me to the living room.

Our house helpers could only look at us in a pained expression as he shoved me on the floor.

"Why do I have to be burdened with a useless daughter like you?! All you have to do is please that boy and now you're coming back here telling me he's upset with you? What the f**k did you do this time?!" He growled, grabbing my hair once again.

All I could do is cry while I let him hurt me.

I feel so weak knowing that Adam won't be protecting me anymore, that I really can't escape my cursed life with my father.

But above all, I could only cry my heart put knowing that I've hurt him.

I ruined everything with the man who could save me.

My safe haven doesn't exist anymore because I destroyed it in exchange for a few minutes of forbidden pleasure.

But what I hate the most is thinking of my safety rather than the feelings of the man I've hurt.

I realize... 

I am just selfish.