Heart of Fire

"ROXANNNNEEE! ROXANNNEEE!  ROXANNNEEEE!” belted out the voice of my best friend Katie, ensuring that she added a string of unnecessary vibrato onto the third “Roxanne.”  “PUT ON THE RED LIGHT! PUT ON THE RED LIGHT! YOU DON’T HAVE TO PUT ON THE RED LIGHT!” screeched out the falsetto of my other best friend, Alice.  The pitch was just high enough to ensure that I would never be able to listen to The Police the same way again.  Not that I listened to them very much, given my birth name - Roxana.  Having a given name which often resulted in excessive consumption of alcohol could really well - Sting. Ok, I winced at that pun too.   “GUYSSSS what time is it?” I moaned, cracking open a lid sealed shut with crusties.  I rubbed my eye and realized that the amount of residue was a bit too excessive to be natural.  I looked down to see black eye makeup all over the knuckle of my pointer finger. Crap.  I fell asleep in my makeup again.   I couldn’t have fallen asleep for too long, though, if Alice and Katie were still here.  Gotta love a nice post brunch catnap.   “ROXANNEEEEE!  ROXANNNEEEE!”  Katie belted again “You know damn well it’s RoxanA.  Think greek, not prostitute.”  I snapped, hoping that the noise would subside. “PUT ON THE RED LIGHT!” Finally, I blinked open.  It was pitch black outside.   So much for the catnap.  Is it a dognap if it is 7 times longer than you expected it to be? If not, I’m definitely going to make that a thing, I thought to myself, squinting at my nightstand clock. 6:30.  OK, not so bad.  I only napped for 3 hours.  However, I could see why the girls were getting impatient with me, hanging around my apartment. “ROXANNEEEEE!” “KATIE!  WILL YOU SHUT UP!”  I shouted. Where was she anyway? It sounded like the singing was coming from right next to me.  Perhaps if her throat was within arm’s reach I could make her regret continuing this boisterous tradition… “PUT ON THE RED LIGHT!” It was also coming from right next to me.  This wasn’t possible, my bedroom is essentially a closet.  I looked over at my Echo speaker. “Shit.”  I whispered to myself, my tone deathly serious.  “Alexa, stop music.” The girls had somehow managed to turn their death ballad into my alarm.  Which meant it was 6:30 am.   Ok, so maybe it was more than a dognap.  A… sloth nap? Sloths sleep 15-18 hours a day.  I read it in a meme a few weeks ago, so it had to be true.  I had just managed to sleep 16 hours and get my eyes ringed in black makeup, so maybe I was manifesting into my spirit animal, a sloth.   Or maybe I shouldn’t have continued drinking with the girls after bottomless mimosas at brunch… but hey! Sundays were my only day off, a girl’s gotta let loose sometime, right?    I blinked again, rolled over, and unlocked my phone.  I needed to check my calendar to ensure that I had my shifts correct for the day.  Sometimes, when you worked three jobs, it was difficult to keep track of what you had to do when.  Particularly when you were feeling a bit rough.   I looked at my calendar.  Today wasn't so bad; I only had my office admin job today.  It was pretty easy - I just had to help a bunch of pensioned geniuses struggling to book airfare online and make PowerPoints while they critiqued me for studying English Lit and eating Avocado Toast.  The biggest challenge of the job was keeping a smile on my face.  Particularly since I didn't have dental health care. My alarm set off a gentle chime - my normal method of waking up.  I'm one of those girls who usually needs 3-4 snooze alarms to ensure that she approaches the day with the right kind of attitude.  A snooze and an overpriced breakfast could make any day perfect. That, and five minutes of meme scrolling between snooze alarms can turn anyone into a charmer.   My alarm chimed again.  It was really time to get up.   "Alexa, stop alarm."  I said.   "ROXANNNEE"  the speaker screeched again.  I sat up straight, finally, and slapped my palms against my ears.  Seriously, how did these girls manage this?!   I pointed at the speaker dramatically, promising revenge upon the girls who I considered my tribe.  Suddenly, it sparked, with a loud popping noise.  Sparks flew everywhere.  I could see from my second story bedroom that it wasn't just my speaker - sparks traveled along the electrical lines, over the street.   My hair was on end as I heard the popping near the telephone polls.  I held my breath and clenched my elbows to my sides.   The lights flickered.    I closed my eyes and counted... one one thousand... two one thousand....  and then I heard the rumble of thunder gently crescendoing to a BOOM.   I exhaled.  It was just a storm.  Unusual to happen this early in the morning, but I guess you can expect anything with climate change, am I right?