Why Humans Make Bad Pets!

I Destroy Xeno Familial Relationships II

"Sorry about scaring you there mates, but a guy can't live off of half a shoe box of lettuce a day, can he? No-sir-ee he needs a good five boxes. That's what my mom always told me, 'five boxes of alien lettuce a day helps you keep the pangs of starvation away' or something like that." The blue-giraffes who were watching me warily didn't seem to appreciate my humor. I knew I wasn't that good, but they could have at least pretended to be amused. I think they were the caretakers, since they had been watering various alien plants when I'd peaked inside. Through my explorations I had decided this was a cargo ship, as a majority of the ship was merely massive rooms piled high with crates with blue-giraffe writing on them. One of the rear cargo bays, though, seemed to have been converted into a hydroponics bay, which hinted at how long this ship took between ports.

Thankfully, the gardeners had seemed too surprised or too scared of me to try and stop me as I found a plant with familiar looking leaves and began to trim it down. I guess each shoe box had held one plant's worth of leaves, because I went through three of them and was still hungry. I guess lettuce doesn't keep you as full as meat, which is a shame, since I was beginning to think there wasn't any meat on this entire ship. I was three quarters of the way through my fourth plant when the door burst open and one of the adults who had been arguing by my bedside tore into the room. Well, he gallop-flailed at a leisurely pace, but from the looks of it he was giving it all he had. I didn't need to understand his clicks to know that he was angry, especially since he was gesticulating wildly at the three barren plants to my right and the broken off leaf in my hand.

After a while of shout-clicking and waving his arms about, he feel silent, glaring at me as though waiting for a response. I saw no reason to refuse him one. "I know how bad this looks, but let me assure you, I'm not the rabbit-human you're looking for." Its almost like he knew that what I had said was a poor attempt at a joke, because he burst into another click-rant. Just before I was sure he was going to spit me to death, the other adult who had been arguing that night entered the room, followed by Dink.

The two adults started arguing again, which I was beginning to think was the defining factor in their relationship, and Dink shuffled over to me. He looked at the stripped plants with what I could have sworn was respect, and then turned a disappointed stare on me. I almost felt a little ashamed. "Look Dink, you have to understand, I need more than just a few hundred grams of lettuce to keep me alive. I know you don't know any better, but if we're going to live together, we'll need to get some things straightened out between us, like how often and how much I need to eat and drink." My placatory speech was lost on him though, and I turned my attention back to the arguing adult-blue-giraffes.

The situation seemed to be degenerating. I couldn't tell you why, but I got a bad vibe from the first one that had entered the room. He reminded me of my Dad, who had yelled at me when I had tried to help him mow the lawn when I was too small to safely operate the old and heavy push mower. I had been hoping to surprise him when he got back from work, since he hated mowing the lawn when he got back home after a long day. To help me move the mower, I had activated it's automatic drive function, but it had gotten away from me and driven off into the garden before I could take off the clip which held the stop lever. When he'd seen the state the garden was in he had been so furious I had hid in my closet rather than go face him during dinner. I don't know why, but I felt the same temper and reckless mannerisms from this blue-giraffe, which earned him the nickname I'd given my father when I was young: Severus.

If Severus had been angry before, he was livid now. Some of his gesticulations threatened to make him lose his balance. The other adult, however, wasn't having any of Severus' s**t, from the looks of it. She was giving Severus the same look of disappointment Dink had given me, albeit a little less condescending. She was so much like a mom that I couldn't help but name her Mama Giraffe. Something Severus said made Dink's ears perk up, then led him to join the spitting contest, which served to only enrage Severus even more. He started directing his anger at Dink. I understood a father's anger all too well, and moved to redirect it onto me.

"Whoa, cool your jets there Severus, it's not Dink's fault tha-" I guess Severus was closer to losing control than I had though, because my sudden insertion into the conversation made Severus whirl around in rage, his eyes thunderbolts. Then, he surprised us all. He aimed a kick at me. I'm sorry to say I wasn't quite sure what he was doing at first, and so I didn't dodge it. It didn't matter. His three toed foot connected with my shoulder. I didn't move. It felt like a High School freshman had punched me in the arm. That wasn't what made me angry though. I was a dog to this creature, an unthinking animal that had no idea what was expected of it. It didn't matter that he was mistaken, the fact was that he believed it, which made the act the same as if any man had kicked his dog.

"Now you've pissed me off." I growled, glaring at Severus. "Your lucky I don't know how to grow these plants, or drive this ship, or take care of myself out here, or I might actually take you up on that fight. As it is, f**k off." I shoved his foot, which had fallen close to my side when I hadn't moved. My push sent it shooting out from under him as though I had tackled his leg. I hadn't meant to push that hard, but it worked out. He used his other three legs to catch himself, but the rage seemed to have been replaced by fear. Mama Giraffe and Dink were staring at me too, as were the gardeners. I didn't know what to do then, so I went back to my room, jumped onto the bed, and berated myself for making an enemy out of the blue-giraffe who was most likely the captain of the ship I was staying on.

After Cqcq'trtr left the Hydroponics bay, everyone present breathed a sigh of relief, Tnnxz most noticeable among them.

"Well, I won't say that wasn't a surprise." Xkkrk finally clicked into the silence, "But you had it coming, Tnnxz. What were you about, kicking him? He didn't know why you were angry. He doesn't know that he shouldn't pick half the Cqcq plants in the hydroponics bay clean. He was hungry, so he went in search of food. He just seems to need a lot of it, though where he puts it is beyond me. We'll just have to find a way to get more food for him, since we're keeping him." At the last part, Tnnxz spluttered.

"Keeping it! Did you just see what it did!? It acted as though my kick was only a slight breeze, then threw my leg with almost a casual push! It's ruined half our Cqcq plants! I'd be surprised if any of them grew back. It's fulfilled all the qualifications of our last conversation about keeping it and more! Did you see the look it gave me? I've never felt such a predatory glare before in my life. And with its unprecedented strength, I'm more sure than ever that it was responsible for what happened to the Corti science vessel."

"Maybe he was," Xkkrk replied firmly, "But if he is responsible then he didn't do it without reason. You know how the Corti are. Their eugenics program removed every shred of empathy and compassion they had. They're little better than the monsters they study. As for how I know any of his actions were justified, you should look at yourself. I now have no doubts that if Cqcq'trtr had wanted to do to you what happened to those Corti scientists he could have. All he did was return the exact same thing you did to him, which is rather impressive restraint for an unthinking animal, if you ask me. He only started making those threatening noises when you began shouting at Vtv. I think he's just protective of the one that feeds him. Maybe you should look at him and follow his example, such as not shouting at your son when he did nothing wrong. None of us know anything about this creature, and surprises are bound to happen, or did you forget how quickly he filled the scented waste bin we placed in the medical bay for him to do his business in? Regardless, your behavior today has ensured that we're keeping him, since I have a feeling it may one day become useful to have an animal who is protective of our son and able to knock the legs out from under a Vzk'tk with a mere push, don't you?"

With that, Xkkrk turned and swept out of the room, Vtv behind her, head down. She did not often give Tnnxz direct orders, but where her children were involved, there were no illusions as to who was in command.

Before she was completely out of the room, Xkkrk turned to Vtv with a stern look on her face. "One thing needs to change with Cqcq'trtr though, dear. You absolutely must get him a bath. I don't care if he won't let you put him in water. Throw it at him if you have to. He smells and looks absolutely revolting."