Why Humans Make Bad Pets!

Xeno hulk-suit dodgeball is awesome IV

Dear Journal,

Sorry for being away for so long,

But I think I’ve just stopped myself from becoming the bad guy,

We’ll see.

In other news, Xeno hulk-suit dodgeball is awesome.

I’m not going to lie, it was great to hear intelligible voices once again, but as I followed Blatvec to where ever he was leading me that contained things that turned spindle-limbed aliens into worthy soccer opponents, I realized that sometimes unrecognizable garble can be nice. Walking through the crowd that always filled the troopship, background noise which had always been easy to ignore suddenly became unavoidably loud. It made it hard to think, even in the simplest ways. I walked up the d**k, who backed away upon my approach. I jumped next to him, and he nearly fell over, but now he couldn’t pretend to ignore me as I was practically on top of him.

“You’re able to turn off your translator, right?”

“Yes,” he virtually spat.

“If you wouldn’t mind. Just be sure to turn it back on if someone tries to talk directly to me.” If looks could kill. Still, the conversations that were demanding my attention suddenly snapped out of English, and I back into sweet, sweet ignorance. If I ever had one of those translators installed, I’d make sure they made mine with an on/off switch if they didn’t come with one already.

Surrounded in the silence created by my ignorance, I thought back to what Captain Demon Dude had said. He had been fair. He hadn’t sugar-coated or hyped his side, but had been honest and level-headed. He explained his reasons for fighting, and they were good. My thoughts almost lead me down a path of a political argument to attempt to judge whether or not the Dominion should be allowed to remain or torn down and rebuilt, but I quickly stopped that line of thought. Not only did I have nowhere near enough information as to the situation, but I’m not very politically minded. That and I hate political arguments due to the overwhelming amount bullshit most usually create out of nothing.

But if I couldn’t reasonably consider which side was the better to fight for in the political sense, then how would I decide?

Demon Dude interrupted my thoughts as his English speaking voice tore through my simple thoughts. “Here they are. What do you think?” My mind snapped into awesome mode and I thought what I saw was awesome! Twenty xenos stood in front of me in some of the coolest armor I’d ever seen. Each in a suit that had been built specifically for their size and species, the troopers was clad in an armor composed of bone-white armor plates covering bulging black mechanical muscles underneath.

They honestly looked like muscles, rather than the usual motors I would have expected. If it wasn’t for the fact that no alien had arms that size, or that the driver’s head could be seen nestled between each suits’ massive shoulder blades rather than above them, I would have though twenty white and black Hulks stood before me, albeit Hulks with incredibly tiny heads and no necks, but Hulk bodies all the same.

Apparently my face said it all, because Demon Dude smiled in satisfaction. “Now, how do you play this ‘soccer’ game?”

“It takes some getting used to. I could teach it to you now and I doubt any of you would pose a serious challenge, not because I’m amazing, but because you guys just aren’t used to the basic mechanism of the game. I have another idea for a game, though, and its just as fun.”

A short trip to the Alien 3D printer, and we had ourselves some Xeno dodgeballs. They weren’t quite made out of the same material, but it had been the closest as far as weight and texture were concerned, so I figured they’d suffice. When I showed my creations to Demon Dude, who had stayed behind to mark off the field in the way I had specified, he looked at the balls in confusion.

“Are we playing in the dark?”

“Huh?”

“The balls. You made them out of an extremely efficient phosphorescent material used in landing markers for operations during the night. They’ll glow brightly for several hours before they’ll need to be recharged with light again. We can do it, the suits have external lights for visibility and augmented vision, I just wasn’t aware this game was played without lights. I’ll have to remark the field so the lines can be seen.”

I considered telling him of why I had chosen that particular material for the dodgeballs, but then realized that I would be getting in the way of Xeno-hulk-combat-suit-glow-in-the-dark-dodgeball! I followed Demon dude and printed out myself a headband, armbands, ankle-bands, and sash of the same stuff so I could be seen as well. When all the parts were assembled, I explained the rules. Suffice it to say, it was received with some incredulity.