Taming the Alpha of Red Ember

"So?? Am I able to go or not?" I said, reluctantly. "I'm sorry pumpkin, I think I will need you around here?" My father says, his face looking desperate. I stare at him, taking in that he seems to have aged overnight, his eyes seem darker and his hair is now grey. He looks as though he has not slept in weeks and I give him a small smile. "Okay...I will leave this one" I say, my voice low with a slight quiver. His face looked relieved, "Maybe the next one Harlie?" "Sure..." I replied. I walked back into the house, holding back tears knowing he said this last time. I start chopping carrots as I think about what I will say to Rachel. Rachel is my best friend, we have been best friends since we started school and every trip that has come up I have had to stay back home. We were hoping this trip would be different now that I am older and now in college. I wipe my tears and hold my breath for a moment hoping that it would help me compose myself. This hits harder than the other times, this trip was with my new college for art and was in Paris, France. I have always wanted to go and have been working so hard. I spent all summer saving everything I had as I knew that my father couldn't pay for me. I grab an onion and start chopping really loudly, it was like I was taking all my anger out on the onion but I just wanted this one time to get out of Lormarsh Ridge and see some of the world out there. Lormarsh Ridge is a nice town, with a great college and a pretty decent town centre. The town is surrounded by huge forests and many rivers, it is quite picturesque. It is not that I dislike living here, it is very much the opposite. It is more for the fact I have never left the town and would love to see something new. I find a big oven dish and start placing all the vegetables inside, I add chicken, herbs and stock and place it inside the oven to cook. I started peeling the potatoes at the sink and couldn't help but think of what I was going to tell Rachel about not being able to come on the trip. I looked out of the window and saw my reflection against the dark sky, I could see the tears slowly rolling down my face. I took on two jobs this summer working extra shifts where I could in order to get this money together for Paris. I think part of me deep down knew that he would keep saying maybe the next trip without it being true. I gave a sigh as I looked at the windowsill, I saw my mother in a picture staring back at me with a beautiful smile. I looked at her red fiery hair and her bright blue eyes and I smiled back at her. As I have grown older I realise that I look more like her everyday, the same eyes, hair and features. I find it hard to look back at pictures still without that pain, the pain of losing her. The grief we went through as a family and continue to go through with every milestone. I was nearly seven when she lost her battle to pancreatic cancer. I remember the last time I ever saw her, I came home from school and ran straight to her bedroom to tell her everything I had been doing at school. She was weak but looked at me with a soft smile but she started coughing up blood. I froze but my father carried me out and rushed her to the hospital. I remember our old neighbor Mrs Clarke came round to watch us, she had taken me to bed and I remember my father waking up me and my older brothers to tell us she went to heaven. I quickly shake the memory away as tears slide down my face faster. I mashed the potatoes and started plating up dinner just as my twin older brothers came through the back door. “So you're back with Kelly?” Cole asked Joel. “Kinda” Joel answered. I roll my eyes, my brothers are terrible with girls I can never keep up. “Dinner smells banging Lee,” Cole said as he helped me plate up. “I still hate when you call your sister that” My dad says as he walks through to the kitchen. He gives me a smile as he sits in his chair. “They have called it me for ages. I'm very used to it dad” I responded as I put his dinner in front of him. “Thank you Pumpkin” He started tucking in. I sit down with my plate and start eating as we listen to Cole and Joel talk about the football tryouts. We finish and I start cleaning up. “I will clean this today, I finished work for the day and you do so much, have a rest” My dad said to me. “I don't mind” I continued to clean. “Okay, we will do it together, twice as quick” Cole and Joel had already disappeared out of the kitchen but it never takes me long to get done what's needed. “Thank you, pumpkin. I am sorry about the trip and I hope you understand” My dad said as he walked out past Cole who walked in. “What was that about?” he asked. “He won't sign the permissions for the Paris trip” I sighed. “What? Why?” Cole looked annoyed. “It doesn't matter, right I need to study” I threw the towel at Cole playfully and walked out. I shut my bedroom door and cried silently into my pillow.