Embrace the Storm

I put my pair of aviator glasses on as soon as I went out of the plane. Ngayong nakabalik na sa Pilipinas ay bigla akong nanibago sa klima. I can feel the heat of the afternoon sun as we glide out of NAIA. No doubt, it's summer. Nang makapasok na sa sasakyan ay saka ko hinubad ang denim jacket, leaving my maroon halter top that matched my high waist fitted skirt. I intentionally wear such kind of clothing knowing what season is it. Ipinusod ko ang lagpas balikat na buhok at tinanggal ang sunglasses. Tahimik lang si mama sa tabi ko habang nasa biyahe. Kami lang dalawa ang umuwi dahil sa susunod na buwan pa si papa. May inaayos pa kasi siya doon para sa negosyo. Three years ago, my parents needed to live abroad because of a big project. Nagtayo rin sila ng ilang hotels doon kaya mas lalong na-extend ang pamamalagi namin sa States. Kuya didn't come with us, though. Dad gave him an option. Ako lang ang sapilitang isinama dahil wala pa ako sa hustong gulang. Aside from that, kuya can already stand on his own. Minsan, bumibisita siya sa amin sa tuwing bakasyon at walang klase. Our stay was just interrupted because of Tito Theodore's death, two years ago. Siya ang pinakabatang kapatid ni papa. At the age of fourty-one, he's not even married yet. They said, it was just an accident. But our family believed that he was murdered. I was just sixteen that time. Kaya hindi ko pa masyadong naiintindihan ang nangyari. All I just did was to mourn without blaming anyone. Ni hindi ko na inisip kung totoo bang pinatay talaga siya at kung sino ang gumawa no'n. I was too young and naive to think ill of others. Pagkatapos ng libing ni Tito Theodore ay agad rin kaming bumalik sa ibang bansa. I continue my normal life there despite what happened. And just last month, I graduated in senior highschool. At ngayong dito na ulit titira, muli na naman akong mag-aadjust. "Welcome home, madam!" Sinalubong kami ni Gilda, ang mayordoma ng aming mansiyon. Nakahilera naman ang mga kasambahay sa labas para batiin kami. They look so pleased that we're back. "Rico, ipasok niyo na ang mga bagahe. Igiya mo sila sa mga kuwarto, Gilda." Naging alerto sila sa utos ni mama. Tumalima si Gilda at agad na iginiya ang mga bodyguards papasok sa mansiyon. "Si Revo?" "Umalis ho, pero mukhang babalik na 'yon maya-maya," ani Carmen. Maglalakad na rin sana ako papasok sa bahay nang mapansin ang ingay ng sunod-sunod na pagparada ng mga sasakyan sa labas. Maybe it's kuya and our relatives. I'm sure they know that we will arrive today. This wasn't a secret nor a surprise. Hindi naman ako nagkamali nang makita sina Tita Odessa at Tita Valerina na pumasok sa malaking gate. Nakasunod si Kuya Revo kasama ang dalawa naming pinsan. Kasama nila sina Livius at Morris. Kuya Markus winked and smiled at me. Pinasadahan ako ng tingin ni Livius at umawang ang bibig na tila ba namamangha. Huli kong tiningnan si Morris. He's all grown up now. His muscles are well defined, taller and has a larger frame than before. His rough features are more emphasized, making him look stark and cruel when he's serious. Nagkatinginan kami. His eyes are dark and somewhat blank. Kumbaga, walang emosyon. Siguro'y ayaw lang ipakita. Or maybe, he just don't care at all. Alin man sa dalawa ang totoo ay hindi ko na kailangang alamin pa. I don't even like his personality, so no need to bother myself. Nag-iwas ako ng tingin. "Val, Odes!" "Welcome back, Helena," Tita Odessa said and smiled widely. Nakipag-beso siya kay mama, ganoon rin si Tita Valerina. They look like old friends who just had a reunion. "Hi kuya! Miss me?" I spread my arms for him. Ngumisi siya at sandali akong niyakap. "How about me, Maddy?" si Kuya Markus. I smiled. Ako na mismo ang lumapit sa kanya para yumakap. I also hugged Kuya Sage, too. Meanwhile, I can see Morris' stares at me on my peripheral vision. Inignora ko lang iyon. "You look like a grown woman, now. For sure, boys will flock on your feet. You're already nineteen, right?" si Kuya Sage sa mababang boses. Tipid siyang ngumiti. "Yup." "Uy Maddy, wala ba akong hug?" si Livius. Tumawa ako. "Hmm. Kawawa ka naman. Sige na nga," I said and went closer to him. Hindi naman ako nakarinig ng apila mula kay kuya o sa mga pinsan kaya sa tingin ko okay lang. He's their friend, anyway. But before I could spread my arms, Morris pulled him harshly. "You're not a family, Livius. No need to hug." Kunot-noo ko siyang tiningnan. He just looked at me darkly. Here's here actions again. Ito na naman ang pangingialam niya sa mga maliliit na kilos ko. Acting like a damn big brother. f**k that role. "Morris naman! Sakit ng pagkakahila mo!" Hindi ko na pinakinggan pa ang ibang sinasabi nila nang bumaling si Tita Odessa sa akin. She looked amazed staring at me. "Oh my, ikaw na ba 'yan, Maddy?" "Obviously, tita." I laughed a bit, covering my irritation for Morris. "You look so gorgeous! Paniguradong dadagsain ka ng mga kalalakihan! I heard you're already allowed to have a boyfriend since you're on the legal age. Don't you have a boy in mind?" she asked and grinned. "Well.. as of now, I have none." Iginiya sila ni mama sa loob. Hindi ako nagpa-iwan sa labas at sumama sa kanila. Maraming tanong sila tita kaya maraming catch-up ang naganap. Tatlong taon rin kaming nawala kaya hindi maipagtataka kung bakit ganito. Afterall, they're already like sisters. "Gilda, ipaghanda mo kami ng meryenda." Naging alerto ang mga kawaksi sa utos ni mama. Inilibot ko ang paningin sa mansiyon. Wala namang nagbago. Even without us, every corners, every furnitures are clean. Walang kahit anong bakas ng alikabok, kagaya ng kung anong gusto ni mama. She's always been a perfectionist even on just simple things. She's not too strict our maids, though. Tinatama niya ang mga mali nito nang hindi nagtataas ng boses. At siguro, iyon ang dahilan kung bakit tumatagal ang mga kasambahay namin. "Ikaw, ma'am? Ano po ang gusto niyo?" Agnes asked with a smile. Among them, she's the youngest maid. Magkasing-edad lang kami nito kaya siguro magaan ang loob ko sa kanya noon pa man. I remembered her as young as me when she started working here four years ago. Tiyahin kasi niya si Gilda at wala itong matitirhan kaya pumayag si mama na dumito siya habang nag-aaral. Mama is supporting her studies until now. "Ma'am? My God, Agnes. Don't make me feel old. We're on the same age. Nawala lang ako ng ilang taon nag-ma'am ka na agad? Just call me, Maddy." Nailang siyang ngumiti. "Pero nakakahiya ho kasi..." I smiled. "Don't be shy to me, Agnes. Ako lang naman 'to. You should start to get used to it." She nodded awkwardly. Napalingon ako sa pintuan nang marinig ang ingay ng mga lalaki. I meet Morris' gaze. His brow shot up, lips are pursed. Ibinalik ko ang tingin kay Agnes at sinabing wala akong kailangan. Tumango siya at umalis na roon. "Sila mama?" kuya asked me. "Nasa sala, nag-uusap." Livius whistled. "Ganda mo na, Maddy! Maraming umaligid sa'yo doon, 'no?" Tumawa ako at hindi sumagot. He knows the answer, anyway. Men like him, alam na alam ang bituka ng kapwa lalaki. I'd lie if I say no. People from the west are very much liberated, especially the boys. Hitting multiple girls at a time are normal. Good thing, hindi ako nagpadala sa kahit sinong lalaki. Though I met different boys with different levels of looks, I was never been attracted to anyone for a long time. Kahit isang beses, hindi. Siguro, wala talaga sa kanila ang tipo ko. But what is really my type, anyway? Kahit ako ay hindi 'yon masagot-sagot. Marami na akong nakitang mga guwapong mukha na may iba't ibang lahi. Pero pakiramdam ko, palaging may kulang na hindi ko mahanap-hanap. Is it the appeal? The personality? Hindi ko alam. "Where do you want to study in college?" Kuya Sage asked. Instead of interrupting mama's talk with Tita Odes and Tita Val, we headed to the dining hall. Pinagsilbihan kami ng mga kasambahay ng pagkain at maiinom. I'm sitting between Kuya Revo at Kuya Markus. Nakaupo si Morris sa tapat ko. "Napagkasunduan na namin ni mama na sa doon ako mag-aaral sa pinasukan niyo. The school doesn't matter to me, actually. But since mama suggested the university where all of you studied, I'd go for that. Okay rin naman sa LIU, but I don't prefer it that much." Sumulyap si Livius, ngunit hindi nagsalita. Bumaba ang tingin ko sa cake na nasa platito. I continue eating. "How about your course? Business?" si Kuya Markus. Nag-angat ako ng tingin at umiling. "Culinary Arts." "Oh, that's good." I've always been fond of cooking. It's my passion. It was as if my hands are molded to be the master of culinary. It's my dream to become a chef, a renowned one. Pero ayaw kong gamitin ang apelyido para dumiretso sa tuktok. I want to strive on my own, to achieve it not because of my family, but because of my skills.