Resisting Power

I flipped through the channels aimlessly, my eyes glossing over the changing pictures, but my mind played its own movie. "f**k f**k fuck..." I whispered, drowned out by the laugh track that played on the new channel. In my mind, a panic-inducing scene replayed. - My mom called, her voice apologetic as soon as I answered. "Hey, mama." I tucked the phone between my ear and shoulder, tying my shoelaces. "Hey my little love." I sighed, "What?" My mother only called me pet names when bad news was on the horizon. As long as I could remember, pet names were reserved for my younger brothers. I was always Maeve. On good days, Mae. She thought she was softening the blow, but it truly only added to the sting of whatever she was going to dump on me. Remembering that mom only feigned care for me when she needed me to clean up messes. "Not in the mood for pleasantries, I see. Well, I have some new to tell you." "I figured, mom. What happened?" I sat back into the couch of my apartment, my arms dumped onto my thighs. "Well. You're father can no longer afford to send you to NYU." I sat up fast, my heart catching up. "Wh-What?" I half whispered, hoping I'd misheard. "Your father can no longer --" I couldn't hear her. I couldn't hold the phone. I couldnt. What was I going to do? I'm one year in, I haven't even decided on a major. I don't have a job... I don't have money. "Maeve?" I heard my name in the background of my anxiety. Fuuuuuuuuck. That's all I could muster. Would I qualify for a student loan? "Maeve!" "Mom, okay, sorry. Uhm... Do we go apply for student loans then? Do I have enough time? Am I able to finish this semester? I have two-" "Maeve, did you not listen to a single thing I said?" Her irritation irked me. "Repeat please." She sighed, and my blood burned, "No. Your father will not be applying for loans or cosigning on loans. Nor will you be able to finish your studies over there. You are going to enroll in the Lobos Elite Academy." I started to laugh, realizing this had to be a joke. Not in her character, but funny. "Your father is sending someone to pick you up tomorrow. Your things will be transferred to your new apartment on campus at the academy." I was cackling now, fully f*****g losing it. "Maeve. None of this is funny. None of this is a joke. Prepare a bag of your essentials and be ready by 8 am tomorrow. The driver will bring you to the house while your apartment gets set up. We won't be home. You will be moved in by Friday and start the academy on Monday. Understood?" "This doesn't make any sense. He doesn't have money for school, but he has money for a driver and movers and a full on-campus apartment?" I stared at the tiny apartment I shared with two other people. "I don't have any more time to discuss, I'm running late. I'll talk to you soon. Goodbye, Maeve." - I kept flipping through the screens, not hearing my roommates come home, not reacting to their words. I jumped when Alex placed a hand on my shoulder. I blinked up at him slowly, willing the tears away. "What's wrong?" His voiced immediately filled with panic. I wasn't one to cry over much. Cliche, I'm sure. Young girl with mommy issues who pretends to be a tough girl out in the world. But f**k, it's so hard to keep that mask on. I shook my head, no. I dropped my head into my hands, my elbows resting on my knees. My legs shook with anxiety, and my hair blocked out the surrounding light. I felt the couch dip, Alex draping an arm around me. "Do you want to talk about it?" His voice was soft and smooth, calming. Alex and I had grown extremely close despite his girlfriend - my third roommate - protesting our friendship behind closed doors. She was all smiles when she saw me, but she must not realize the walls here are actually paper thin. Not to mention, this place is the size of a f*****g shoebox. We'd moved in at the same time, but they started dating a few weeks into the semester starting. The tears came quicker at the thought of leaving the shoebox I worked hard to make home. "I... have to leave." I tried not to sob like an i***t. Alex squeezed my shoulder and I pulled myself into his side, my legs curling onto the couch. I wrapped my arms around him and let out every ounce of hurt I felt. "Where do you have to go, Mae?" He rested his chin on my head and stroked my hair against my back. I shook my head, "I can't stay here... I have to go home. My mom..." I couldn't figure out how to tell him without telling him. "My parents said they couldn't... Oh my God." I sobbed harder, the thought of having to attend Lobos seeping through my veins. There's no way I was going to survive there.