anti-youth

When I was very little, my mom ran off with a wealthy local man. My dad, unable to bear it, went to confront that man, but was attacked and suffered several knife wounds, ending up in the hospital. His brain nerves were also stimulated, and he became mute, unable to speak again. After being discharged from the hospital, he spent his days drinking. When he got drunk, he would straighten his neck and glare at me with a red face, making noises of 'ah ya ah ya' with his mouth, and occasionally he would come over to hit me out of frustration. Anyway, that period of time was like a nightmare for me. I cried in my blanket at night while my dad was in a state of despair at home for half a year. Later, he went out to find work, often leaving me alone at the neighbor's house. The neighbor had an older sister whom I called Sister Xiaoqing; she was six years older than me. Perhaps she felt sorry for me, so she took extra care of me, always sharing her food and toys with me. She was afraid my dad would hit me and often invited me to sleep over at her place. Every night, we would squeeze into one bed, and she would hold me tightly, making me feel very secure. But what I find a bit strange is that sometimes when I awaken vaguely in the middle of the night, I notice her hand is always positioned at the root of my thigh. Moreover, she has two very peculiar habits: one is that she likes to feed me cream, but she doesn't let me eat it directly. Instead, she smears the cream on my legs, the tops of my feet, or on my body for me to eat. Sometimes she even covers my eyes, making me guess where she smeared the cream. I have never guessed right; she always giggles and calls me stupid and silly. I don't know why, but when others say that to me, I get very angry, yet when she says it, I readily accept it. Another hobby of hers is to let me touch her right earlobe. She said it feels itchy but very comfortable. I also let her touch both of my earlobes, but I felt nothing at all. I asked her what could possibly feel good about that? She said I would naturally understand when I grew up. Influenced by this, I always wanted to grow up quickly at that time, partly to understand why Sister Qing felt good, and partly to hope I could get away from my dad sooner when I grew up. Anyway, the time I spent with Sister Xiaoqing was the happiest part of my childhood, but the good times didn't last long. Just before I started kindergarten, her family moved away, and I didn't know where they went. I even cried for a long time because of it. Not long after I started school, I realized how humiliating it was to have a mute father. The children around me pointed at me and called me the mute son, spitting at me. Because of this, I often got into fights, and gradually I became particularly cold-blooded and reclusive, viewing emotions very lightly. Whenever I had conflicts with my classmates, my way of resolving issues was always through my fists. Because my mother abandoned me and my dad, I think that except for Sister Xiaoqing, other women are not good things, so I hate them very much when I see the girls in our class. Women have a very bad relationship. When I was in the third year of junior high school, I went to the video hall to come into contact with some video discs that are not suitable for children, as well as some photo albums of Japanese and Korean actresses. I gradually became addicted and my thoughts became dirty. I often secretly looked at the breasts and buttocks of the girls in our class. At that time, most of the girls didn't wear bras, so sometimes I could see some exciting things, which made me enjoy it very much. I also had that kind of dream at night. Occasionally, I woke up in the morning and had no worries. In the second half of the third semester of junior high school, a girl named Chen Yajing transferred to the class. She dressed very fashionablely. She looked like a child from a rich family. She might have eaten well. Her body was well developed and her breasts were very firm. Because she was sitting at the same table with me, I often secretly looked at her. She is a very good person to show off and she takes out all the rich things, such as the souvenir bags when Hong Kong returned in 1997, the limited edition doll made in the UK in 1998, or a very high-end pencil case and pen. It seems that I am afraid that others will not know that her family has money, which makes me very disgusted. Of course, I didn't feel good about her, and she looked down on me. She looked down on me and often covered her nose and said that she smelled a bad smell, and looked at me with that kind of contemptuous look. I am a person with a strong self-esteem, so I hated her so much that I hated her. Once after school, I suddenly saw her chatting with a female classmate Wang Duo at the school gate. When I passed by, they were still pointing at me, talking and laughing. My heart skipped a beat. After all, there were very few people who knew about my family's situation after going to junior high school, which was the only thing that made me feel relieved. But at this time, Wang Duo pointed at me and asked her. Could it be that Wang Duo told Chen Yajing that my father was mute? Sure enough, after I went to the classroom in the afternoon, the people in the class began to talk about me. I vaguely heard someone saying that my father was mute, and that my mother ran away with someone. At that time, I felt like I was about to explode and my whole body was hot. Before the bell rang, I pulled Chen Yajing outside the classroom and asked her: "Are you talking about me behind the back of our classmates?" Chen Yajing snorted disdainfully, saying that she didn't. I wanted to slap her at the time, but she didn't admit it. It was unreasonable for me to hit her like this, so I endured it. When it was my turn to clean up after school in the afternoon, I was the last one to leave. Before leaving, I felt like I had to get back this loss. I had to retaliate against Chen Yajing. I threw her backpack on the ground and stomped on her pencil case, and even peed on her backpack before returning home. The next day when we arrived at the classroom, it was chaotic inside. Chen Yajing and a few girls from our class were gathered around the table, cursing and cursing. When they saw me go over, Chen Yajing rushed straight to me. Her face turned red and she asked loudly, "Are you really your mother? Did you make my backpack look like that I feel great inside, but I pretend to know nothing. I say I don’t know, so don’t slander me. Also, keep your mouth clean; I’m not your parents, I won’t indulge you. As soon as she finished speaking, Chen Yajing pointed at me and scolded: "Tong Tong, you are really not a man, dare to do it, do you know how much Lao Tzu's schoolbag and pencil case are worth?" Can you afford it? Damn it! Do you know why your mother ran away with someone? It's because your dad is like you, he is a dog who dares to be a dog who dares not be a dog, and he deserves to become mute later, I think ......" Chen Yajing's words Speaking of this, I couldn't bear it anymore, I slapped her in the face directly, I was also very angry at that time, no one has ever spoken to me like this after going to junior high school, not to mention that there are still many people in the corridor watching the excitement, Chen Yajing was stunned after being slapped by me, tears came out immediately, and then she rushed to me like crazy, hitting me with her hands and feet, I pushed her to the ground and scolded: "If you talk about my father and my mother, I will kill you!" ” After saying this, I did not continue to attend classes, but went out to play outside after leaving school. At that time, the Internet cafe had not yet formed a scale. There were only computer rooms, which were all single-player games, such as Red Alerts and Cs. I couldn't play them. My favorite place was the game hall. I especially love playing King of Fighters. I didn't go back that day until very late. After going to school the next day, the head teacher called me to the office and criticized me, and said that I wanted me to call my parents. I said to her directly, "My father is a mute, and he can't speak. What's the use of asking him to come?" This sentence made the head teacher say nothing. She shook her head and sighed. There was no way to deal with me. Later, when she went to the classroom, Chen Yajing whispered to me, asking me not to leave at the school gate after school. I naturally understood that she was going to find someone to beat me. Before the last class in the morning was finished, Chen Yajing hurried out of the classroom. After school, I left the school gate and saw a bunch of people gathered in the open space next to the gate, including men and women. The school uniforms they saw were not from our school. There were also two 250 models motorcycles, which were particularly cool. There were two yellow-haired men leaning beside the motorcycle, and they were obviously gangsters in society. I was a little panicked. I had never had any fights with gangsters in society. It happened that Chen Yajing saw me at this time, waved to me, and signaled me to come over. For the sake of face, I still went over. As soon as I arrived, Chen Yajing came up without saying a word and slapped me. The force of the slap was very strong, which made me a little confused. As I said before, I was particularly disgusted with women. Chen Yajing slapped me in the face, which was a great humiliation for me and could not bear it at all. She might think that there were so many people in front of her and I didn't dare to do anything to her, so after slapping me, she looked proud and had a strong aura. After I reacted, I raised my hand and slapped her back, and cursed: "You f*****g stinky girl, you actually..." Before I could finish my words, a yellow-haired man rushed to me and kicked me in the stomach. He was half a head taller than me and strong. I sat on the ground. Then the rest, regardless of gender, came around and kicked me. I couldn't even climb up, so I had to lie on the ground with my head in my arms. Later, the security guards in our security department came out and they stopped. Chen Yajing bent down and slapped me a few times at this time, and cursed, "I'm so old, even my parents can't bear to slap me. You are the first to slap me in the face, and slap me twice. Remember my words, I will hit you once when I see you at the school gate in the future!" As he said that, Chen Yajing took a cigarette from a yellow-haired man next to him, lit it and took a sip. I cursed in my heart that this female b***h actually smoked, and it was really not a good thing. In fact, at that time, students gathered around the school gate to smoke every day. They didn’t necessarily gather there just to fight, but they were gathered for other students to see. It seemed that they were doing better than others and had a wide range of popularity. Chen Yajing just transferred to our class and played with the male and female students at the school gate every day. To be honest, her popularity is quite good, and her interpersonal relationships are more good than me. Having said that, after Chen Yajing scolded me, she asked me if I was convinced. I didn’t say anything. There was a girl in a blue skirt next to me for some reason, but she actually spoke for me. She asked Chen Yajing to forget it and stop worrying. Chen Yajing also joked that she had fallen in love with me and how she was talking for me. I looked up at the girl in a blue skirt. She had a pair of ponytails tied with melon-shaped face and big eyes, and she was the petite and cute. Her face turned a little red when Chen Yajing said something. She patted Chen Yajing's butt and said, "What are you talking about? I'm hungry now. Let's go to have a meal!" After she said that, the yellow-haired man who kicked me first might want to show off in front of the girl, came over and patted my head and asked me if I was convinced. I still didn't say anything. He might think this made him feel embarrassed and his face looked particularly ugly. After cursing a few swear words, he picked up a brick from the side and slapped my forehead hard. I felt my eyes turn black and my head hurts. When I recovered from my consciousness, a heat flowed down my forehead and eyes. A few girls around him immediately started to scream and said they were bleeding. I touched it with my hands, and my hands were covered with blood, and it was opened. Chen Yajing probably didn't expect that the yellow-haired man would be so ruthless. She quickly pulled the yellow-haired man away and said in a complaining tone: "What's wrong with you? You said it before you came. Just teach me a lesson. Why are you doing such a heavy hand?" The yellow-haired expression looked disdainful and said, "Isn't it just a puff? It's okay, I can't die!" After he finished speaking, the girl in blue skirt hurriedly approached me, bent down and stared at my forehead, and she said, "My mother works in the hospital, why don't I take you to the hospital for a look?" At this time, the security guard was shouting, letting people leave and stop surrounding here. I ignored the girl in blue skirt, stood up and walked away with her head covered. Chen Yajing behind her was still muttering, saying that there was something amazing, what's so bad Anyway, on the way home, I felt very uncomfortable. I felt that the humiliation I suffered today and the loss I suffered. I would like to report back to Chen Yajing and the yellow-haired man sooner or later. As for the holes in my head, I went to the clinic to look at them, sewed six stitches, and looked at the blood and footprints on my clothes. I knew that my dad would definitely deal with me after I got home. When I arrived at the entrance of my community, I hadn't entered yet. Suddenly, a woman in her early twenties stopped me. She was pretty and dressed very fashionable. Her tight leather pants and jacket outlined her perfect figure. She had a temperament that only a big city girl had, but I didn't know her. I was a little confused and asked her what she was asking for? She looked at my forehead and asked me what was wrong and who was bullied? After asking me, he smiled and said, "You really don't know me anymore?"